Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy, it's owned my the amazing Kurt Sutter, FX and everyone else who has the money to kick my ass in court if I don't have this up here. I do however own Taru, her horse and just about every other random that pops up in the story. This has come from the depths of my sick, insane, twisted, depraved mind and my madness fuel's it to keep going as do all my lovely fans that keep reading and reviewing.

RhiRhi: Thank you, it wasn't my intention to make anyone cry but if I can do it with my writing it must have been good.

HaylsValo: It'll be a while before she wakes up but everything will work out... eventually. Being mysterious is always so much fun XD

Astral Romance – Nightwish

Departed by the guillotine of death
I received a letter from the depth
The dream of my lover it carried inside

Caressed by the sharpest knife
I asked you to be my wife
Rays of the setting sun
were my tears wept upon promises undone

Near Heart Attack

=Chibs' P.O.V=

"...We've done all that we can...She's got several broken ribs...Punctured lung...Shattered kneecap...Fractured wrist...Pins in her wrist...Replaced her right knee joint...Major cranial concussion...Severe internal bleeding...Massive internal damage...Permanent nerve damage...Be prepared for the worst, she's already flat lined once...She was technically dead when they pulled her from the wreckage...Odds don't look good...a six to eight percent chance of surviving...If she survives the next twenty four hours her chances will improve..." The doctor's words floated through my brain as I looked to Taru, her skin was nearly as pale as the sheets she lay on. I felt sick to the pit of my stomach, first Sack, then Abel and finally Taru, Jimmy O had done a damn good job of trying to hurt us. "I'm so sorry Taru, I should never had thought that god damn AT and F bitch could protect any of ya in the first place," For the fifth time since her accident I felt tears prick at my eyes, I let them roll and drip to our connected hands. "Please wake up soon love, I don't know if I could live without ya anymore" The only thing stopping me from going insane was the steady beep of the heart monitor.

I felt my hands shake as more tears threatened to fall down my face; it was only when I was alone here with her that I would allow my walls to crumble, allow myself to cry. I'd thrown up a diamond plated wall around myself and my emotions to conceal them from the rest of the club, I wouldn't let them see me cry, I wouldn't let them see the damage that had been dealt.

I clutched the scrap of paper in my hand, two number on it, one being Angel's the other being Esa's. I hadn't found the nerve or the voice to put to my words to tell them what had happened to Taru. I glanced at Taru and exhaled slowly. "I know I need ta call them love but I don't know what ta tell them, it'll kill both of them when I do" I sighed softly tearing the edge of the paper. I need to tell them what happened; I can't leave it any longer. My heart jumped into my throat as I read the numbers again and shoved the paper back into my kutte pocket. I didn't want to leave her side encase something happened but with everything going on, the hunt for Abel, Gemma being on the lam it was difficult to spend time at the hospital with her when the club needed me all the time for various things.

I brushed back a few strands of her hair and sighed lightly. "Ya goin' ta miss the Prospects funeral," I murmured sitting on the edge of the bed. "We're buryin' 'im with 'is rockers for what 'e did ta save Abel and Tara" I watched her chest slowly rise and fall, the heart monitor beeping in time to the steady rhythm of her heart.

I took in her face and felt guilt bite at me. This was my fault she was laid up like this, my fault she could still die. Her face was bruised up, dark angry red rings around her eyes and several stitches to various parts of her face from the flying shrapnel of glass that had hit her when the SUV impacted the driver's door. Her weakened knee joint had shattered causing them to have to replace it, her left lung had been punctured by two of her broken ribs and her body covered in lacerations from the twisted metal and glass. "This is all my god damn fault love, if I hadn't gone ta the ATF, if I hadn't reached out ta Fi..." I sighed softly. "Ya wouldn't be in this mess if ya 'ad never shacked up with me" I ran my finger lightly over her forehead and lightly brushed it over the stitches to her temple, there was a good possibility that it would scar leaving her with a jagged looking scar about the size of my pinkie across her right temple.

I swallowed roughly and furrowed my brow lightly before shaking my head. "I should 'ave asked ya when I was goin' ta, I shouldn't 'ave left it" I clenched my jaw forcing the tears back before rubbing the back of her hand lightly.

I flinched and jumped back as the heart monitor began to scream, I glanced between it and Taru as it showed a sudden dramatic increase in the pace of her heart. My hands began to shake as it kept screaming, I pressed the emergency call button several times hoping the doctors would come and help her.

I fell back to the corner as several doctors rushed in and surround Taru, each checking something different as they tried to figure out what to do. All I could do was watch helplessly as they attempted to slow her hearts.

Come on love, don't do this to me, don't give up on me. I clutched my fingers around the rosary and heavy iron cross around my neck. Please, don't take her from me. My hands shook, I couldn't bring myself to move from the corner I'd forced myself into. Please, God, Jesus, someone fucking pull her through this, bring her back to me, bring her out of this coma. I leant back against the wall, eyes trained on the scene before me as doctors fought to steady Taru's erratic heartbeat.

I exhaled slowly as the heart monitor slowly returned to a steady beep and sighed softly running a hand up through my hair. I need to call Esa and Angel. I can't put it off, not anymore. I clenched my jaw as the doctors checked Taru over again and slowly filtered out of the room to get back to their duties. I moved over to the bed again a few minutes after everyone else had left and took a seat on the edge of the bed, heart still hammering in my chest. "I'll be right back love, I just need ta make a few calls first so I can tell Angel and ya pappa what 'appened ta ya" I murmured before placing a kiss to her cheek.

I picked up the phone, knuckles almost white as I clutched it and began dialing the first number on the piece of paper.

"Hei?"

I swallowed roughly cursing myself to hell and back as I tried to find my voice. "Is..." My voice cracked slightly as I cleared my throat. "Is Esa Mäki there?"

He yawned down the phone. "This is him, who's this calling me at two am in the morning?"

I cleared my throat again leaning my left forearm against the wall. "It's Filip Telford"

"Chibs?" He laughed lightly. "What's my lovely granddaughter gone and gotten herself into this time?" He asked yawning again.

I stalled unable to voice the words that were stuck in my throat, I clenched the phone tighter and exhaled slowly tried to calm myself.

"Chibs? Are you still there?"

"Aye, I'm still 'ere, just don't know 'ow ta put this in ta words"

"Sounds like its bad news I'm about to get," Esa said softly, almost like he knew I what I was trying to tell him. "How bad is she?"

I felt my throat choke up. "She's in a coma," I managed to force out before leaning my forehead against my arm on the wall. "'er Charger got T-boned by an SUV"

His breathing hitched. "Paska," He murmured. "When did this happen?"

"About a week ago," I clenched my eyes shut expecting the man on the end of the line to chew me out straight away, when he didn't I tried to continue. "I'm sorry I've waited for so long ta call, I just didn't know what ta say ta ya, it's been touch and go for 'er"

"It's alright, I understand, being there for Myrsky is what counts right now," He paused sighing softly. "Does Angel know?"

"Nay, not yet, I was goin' ta call 'er after I called ya"

"It'll kill her to hear what's happened; she and Myrsky have been inseparable since they were four years old"

I paused slightly. Four years old? Shit, they've known each other for twenty nine fucking years. No wonder Myrsky treats the Cali like a sister. "I didn't know they'd known each other for so long" I murmured.

"Yes, twenty nine years," He sighed. "Angel's been there through everything for her, held her up during the toughest times," He sighed deeper. "Her niece, Jade, will be devastated"

I tensed slightly. Taru loved Jade, she'd shown me several photo's of when she was a babe, she'd also told me how she despised Angel's drug addicted husband and would never let him take Jade from her if something ever happened to Angel.

"You best call Angel; she'll want to make the trek to Charming just to be with Myrsky"

"Aye, I will" I swallowed roughly, my throat dry and sticky.

"I will fly out and see her as soon as I can Filip"

"Alrigh', I'll call ya if anythin' changes"

"Take care of her until I get there"

I bit my tongue before I could reply. Probably not a good idea to tell him I'm the reason his granddaughters in a coma. "I will"

"I'll call you as soon as I confirm a flight"

With that we hung up, my hand a ball of pain from how hard I was gripping the phone. "You alright brother?"

I turned quickly to find Opie behind me and nodded. "Aye," I held up the piece of paper. "Just callin' Taru's pappa"

He nodded. "How is she?"

"Same as when ya came in a few hours ago," I exhaled slowly looking at Angel's number. "'er 'eart started playing 'ell before" I murmured.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it started playing 'ell with 'er, just sped up and wouldn't slow down"

"Better than it stopping all together brother"

I looked up at him before nodding slightly, he did have a point. "I need ta call Angel"

"Alright, I'll be in Taru's room"

I nodded turning back to the phone before dialing the second number on the paper.

"Hello?"

"Angel?"

"Chibs? What's up?" I heard her smile. "Myrsky need bailing out or something?"

I swallowed the permanent lump in my throat. "Nay, it's worse"

"Worse?" Her tone dropped very quickly, she sounded small and scared. "How much worse?" The worry for her long time friend was evident in her voice.

"Ya might want ta come ta Charming, she's in a coma"

"Oh god," I listened silently as she collapsed against something. "What happened? Please don't tell me it was because she got kicked in the head by one of the stallions"

"Nay, nay, nothin' like that," I wet my lips as she exhaled heavily. "She was in a car accident"

"Jesus fucking Christ, I've lived through one god damn accident with her, if she's in a coma it must have nearly killed her"

"Aye, it nearly did" I decided against telling her the threatening fact that Taru had indeed been technically dead when they'd pulled her from the wreckage.

Angel sighed softly. "I'll come out there as soon as I get some time off, I'll bring Jade and Leo with me," She sounded close to tears. "How did this happen Chibs?"

I swallowed my pride and clutched the phone tightly. I didn't want to face the 5ft3in blonde's wrath if I told her the truth but then I would probably have to tell her the truth when she got here anyway. "I'll explain as much of it as I can when ya get 'ere"

She sighed deeply. "Alright," her tone changed to one of pleading. "Please take care of her, I almost lost her when she tried to kill herself, I can't lose her now, not after everything she's done for me"

I leant against the wall again. "I will Angel, I promised 'er I'd take care of 'er and I will"

"Good, I'll see how much time my boss will let me take off then head down there"

"Alrigh', see ya when ya get 'ere" I hung up and sighed leaning my forehead against my arm on the wall. She is going to kill me when she finds out this is my fault.

Hei = Hello

I'll be updating every second day for now until I get back up to speed with everything. Summer time here in NZ so I'll be spendin' my time relaxin' in the sun with my laptop.