Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy, it's owned my the amazing Kurt Sutter, FX and everyone else who has the money to kick my ass in court if I don't have this up here. I do however own Taru, her horse and just about every other random that pops up in the story. This has come from the depths of my sick, insane, twisted, depraved mind and my madness fuel's it to keep going as do all my lovely fans that keep reading and reviewing.

Creep – Stone Temple Pilots

Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal
Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause I like to steal
Take time with a wounded hand
'Cause it likes to heal, I like to steal

Sinking Depression

=Chibs P.O.V=

I sunk onto the couch, a fresh bottle of JD in hand and remote in the other. Gemma had practically forced me to leave the hospital citing that when Taru woke she wouldn't want to smell me before she saw me, I hadn't realized until I'd gotten home that I did indeed reek of bad BO. I looked towards the blank TV and pushed back a wet strand of hair before scrubbing the back of my hand over my cheek, the few days worth of stubble was gone just like Taru liked it.

I shifted on the couch and looked to the floor as a photo album fell off with a heavy thud; I furrowed my brow at the deep rich blood red leather album that lay staring back at me and picked it up carefully putting the bottle of JD on the coffee table before flipping it open to the first page.

A smile flickered to my lips as I took in the photo that took up the entire first page, decorations of motorbikes and Harley motifs around the outside with a well drawn Reaper stuck behind the photo; it was of the entire club, including everyone's old ladies at the time, all stood outside the Teller-Morrow Garage.

"Come on," Taru nudged me towards the garage. "I want a photo" She stated turning to her Charger that was sitting sideways in the centre of the lot.

"Photo of what?" Tara asked as she and Jax headed over towards the garage with everyone else.

"Photo of everyone" The Finn stated simply setting up a digital camera on the roof of her Charger.

I grinned lightly watching her scurry back over and slide in between Tig and I before looping her arms around both our neck.

I ran a finger over the image of her face and exhaled slowly willing the tears to go away as I reached for the bottle of JD and cracked it open. I flipped pages and stalled slightly, the second two pages were filled with photos of us, of me and of my Harley.

I broke a grin at the hand drawn representation of my Harley tucked behind several photos of me. I ran my eyes over one and chuckled weakly remembering the day she'd caught me by surprise in the workshop.

I leant over the engine of the Beamer and shook my head slightly cleaning off a smear of oil from the top of the engine before delving deeper into the almost shot engine to get to the cable to disconnect the alternator.

I turned at the sound of a wolf whistle and found Taru grinning back at me from the bonnet of a white Toyota Starlet, the camera flash blinded me briefly before she sauntered over and leant with her elbows on the edge of the car peering into the mess of oil stains, wires and metal.

"Looks like the engines shot" She stated barely giving it a once over.

"Aye, it is," I stated turning back to the task at hand before her fingers carefully pushed back a strand of loose hair. I looked up at her to find a loving smile on her lips. "What's wrong love?" I asked pressing a kiss to her hand that lingered on my face.

"Nothing kulta" She murmured pulling back and straightened up.

I ran my eyes over another picture and frowned lightly I didn't even remember her taking this photo, one of my lounging back on a chair outside in the sun, glasses down over my eyes, one arm tucked behind me head, shirtless with only a pair of shorts on and a book in hand.

I flicked my eyes over the pages of the book in front of me, I'd never been one for reading but Taru had a collection of books that I couldn't resist having a skim through, who would have ever guessed she could read fucking Voltaire and in French too. I exhaled lightly and shifted on my lounger moving my arm from behind my head to flip over the page. I glanced sideways looking for my bottle of beer and ran my eyes over the empty lounger before picking up my beer and taking a long drink as I returned my eyes to the pages of the book. A shudder ripped through me as a droplet of water dripped down to my torso shocking my heated skin slightly.

"Want another?"

I glanced over my shoulder at Taru, the same get up she'd worn at the beach clad to her body. "Aye, thanks love"

She nodded disappearing from the doorway as I put the empty bottle down.

"Shit!" The book clattered to the ground as I jumped from the cold shock to the back of my neck. I whipped around to see Taru standing behind the lounger grinning insanely with two bottles of ice cold beer in her hand.

"Sorry kulta but it was necessary" She stated simply before putting the bottle down on the table between the two lounger and slid onto her own one before pulling her own sunglasses down to shade her eyes.

I grinned softly snatching up the bottle and advanced on her before pressing the bottle against her exposed belly and laughing as she squealed.

I cracked a smile and wiped away a tear from the film covered page. I let my eyes wander over one of us embraced in front of her Charger outside the clubhouse in front of the boxing ring.

I watched the Prospect training with the bag and shook my head. "Keep ya god damn 'ands up Prospect," I snapped lightly downing the rest of my beer. "Ya leavin' ya ribs open"

He pulled his arms up beginning his set again.

"Training the Prospect?"

I grinned lightly wrapping a hand over Taru's as they snaked around my waist from behind. "Aye but 'e won't keep 'is god damn 'ands up" I stated standing and turning to face her.

She grinned softly glancing at Half-Sack. "I'll teach him to keep his hands up"

I shook my head lightly. "Nay, don't want ya gettin' 'urt"

She shrugged lightly wrapping her arms lightly around my neck pressing her body against mine as she rested her forehead against mine. I snaked my arms around her waist tugging her closer and growled lowly in the back of my throat. "Why don't we 'ead inside?"

She smirked lightly. "Alright" Her head snapped sideways as Gemma began laughing.

I spotted the camera in her hands and chuckled lightly. "'avin' fun?"

She nodded lightly lowering the camera.

"I want copies" Taru called over her shoulder as she grabbed my hand leading me inside towards the dorms.

I took a long drink from my bottle and flipped over to another page, staring back at me was Tig and Taru, her arm wrapped around his neck as he sat on his Harley with a snickers bar in hand.

"Hey, know where Tig is?"

I glanced up at Taru and shrugged lightly. "Probably picking up pussy at Caracara, why?"

She looked up from rubbing out a spot on the bonnet of her Charger. "Promised him I'd give him a hug when I saw him next"

"Why?"

"No reason really, just pulled up yesterday next to him in the Charger," She grinned lightly. "Don't think it would have been a good idea to jump out at the lights and give him a hug,"
She grinned even brighter and chuckled. "Plus, you know, hate to ruin the entire bad boy image thing he's got going on" She turned at the sound of a Harley and grinned brightly as Tig pulled up.

I watched her for a moment before pulling open the driver's door of the Charger and grabbing her iPhone of the dash. I ran through the settings and clicked the camera on before looking back at the two of them and snapping a photo.

I flipped over to another page and scanned my eyes over the photos on the page; several were of Taru and Jess pulling off some difficult looking dressage manoeuvres. Another was of her, Dev, Duke and Jess, Dev standing to her left and Jess and Duke on her right, a smile on her lips. I ran my eyes over the newspaper clipping of Dev's win in the Grand National, he'd managed to make the front page with his history making win.

I glanced at the newspaper Gemma threw in front of me. "You realize she made the front page? That little money making stallion of her's beat the fastest time on the course" She stated tapping the full front page article.

I looked down at the page and sighed softly taking in the colour photo inked into the paper of her and Dev, his head hanging over her shoulder, bright red race bridle standing out against his pitch black coat. "Looks like she did well" I murmured softly pushing the paper back towards Gemma.

"She did," She stated folding the newspaper. "Now what are you going to do to get her back?" She asked slapping the rolled up newspaper against my chest.

I caught the newspaper as she let it go and looked towards it still unsure of what I could do to apologize for everything I'd put the gorgeous Finn through.

Buster whined softly, Juice and Bobby had been dropping by to take care of him when I was out at the hospital or doing other assorted things for the club. I rubbed at a slight ache in my neck and stroked the top of Buster's head before shifting slightly and putting the album down. "Yeah, I miss 'er too Buster" I murmured letting the black and tan Alsatian jump on up onto the couch with me before curling my body around his and shutting my eyes with a sigh and the hopes that the memory of first finding out about Taru's accident would leave me be for just one night.

Next one will be up in a few days, I know, I know, it's dark and depressing but almost losing a loved one always is, promise it will pick up soon, going through the phases of writing another piece at the moment so my mind is torn between this and that.