AN: Ok I had some writers block and to be honest this was a difficult chapter to write. I have to say I am not entirely satisfied with it and I probably haven't done the situation justice. I can only tell you to keep the faith. Those of you that have read my other stories know I won't let you down. For those of you that watch Friday Night Lights and saw the S1 finale when Tami told Coach Taylor she was pregnant picture that as you read Nathan's reaction. That was exactly where I what I was trying to create in this chapter.

Chapter 10

Lucky Kid

I want to take you down to the river
I want to wash the blood from your hands
I want to make you see
You belong to me
You won't ever win
I want to walk out over the water
I want to tear my heart from my chest
I want to change my face
Wanna leave this place
Start all over again
Well don't you know
You're wasted
You got more than you asked for

Wasted
You walk in through the out door
Oh, you're a lucky kid
Wasted
I want to turn you into a corvette
I want to drive you out of your mind
I want to watch your face
When you reach that place
That you could never find
I want to make you scream for mercy
I want to break the silence within
And take you to your knees
Just like you did me
And crawl around in your skin
Oh don't you know
Wasted
You got more than you asked for
Wasted
You walk out through the in door
Oh, you're a lucky kid
Wasted
Oh, you're a lucky kid
Wasted
You got more than you asked for
Wasted
You went in through the out door
You tasted
What you never had before
You wasted everything
And now you're such a bore
Oh, you're a lucky kid
Wasted
Oh, cause I know what you did
Wasted
Oh, you're a lucky kid
I got your number
Oh, you get away with it.

Sheryl Crow

Nathan opened his eyes and for the first time since he had arrived he saw the worry in her eyes. "What baby? What is it?"

Haley's eyes filled with tears and her shoulders began to shake. "Jesus Haley what's wrong?"

"I have to tell you something" She said. "Maybe we'd better sit down."

"Hales? You're scaring the shit out of me. Baby please! What's wrong?"

"I uh, I had a Dr's appointment this morning."

Nathan felt the panic causing the bile in his stomach to rise. "Yeah? Ok."

Just as Haley began to continue Nathan noticed the fresh tears streaming down her face. "The miscarriage wasn't due to the fall." He reached up and brushed them away with his thumbs but continued to hold her face in his large hands.

"What? Wait Haley. What are you saying?"

"I'm pregnant" she whispered.

Nathan chuckled. "You're pregnant."

Haley nodded but the tears continued to fall.

"What do you mean you're pregnant" he laughed, obviously happy.

"I mean I'm pregnant" she continued to cry.

"But Haley this is a good thing right?" Nathan said as his voice laced with concern.

"I don't know" she whispered since she didn't trust her voice not to crack again.

"What do you mean you don't know? We talked about this Haley. I thought this was what we both wanted."

"It is but…."

"But?" Nathan dropped his hands to his side. 'She doesn't want this. She doesn't want to have my baby.'

"Nathan please," she said as he started to pace. Nathan had thought they had finally gotten to a good place for the first time after the accident but now he wasn't so sure.

"Nathan, please sit down with me. I have more to tell you."

As he turned and saw his wife's face he knew that he had better sit down because her news was obviously not good. He was terrified that he had been fooling himself into thinking that they would be ok. The look on her face said just the opposite.

"I started to miscarry before I ever fell that night. The pains that I had were the beginning process. I was late and I went to the Dr. this morning. He ran some tests and he confirmed that I am pregnant but when they did a sonogram they found and abnormal mass of scar tissue in my uterus. The Dr. thinks that this is why I miscarried the first time. The scar tissue came from when I was in the hit and run when I was carrying Jamie and it's just continued to grow over the years. Dr. Bannerman said that when I became pregnant before that it somehow caused the tissue to grow at an even faster rate. This is why I have been having those horrid cramps."

Nathan watched her as his eyes searched hers. There was more he could just feel it. As he listened and tried to take in her words he couldn't stop the feeling that she was in danger. The baby was in danger and there was nothing he could do about it.

"They want to do surgery. It's very delicate and complicated and it may or may not help. If they don't remove the scar tissue it's almost certain we'll lose the baby like before." As she finished the last two words of the sentence, her voice broke and Nathan pulled her into his arms with tears in his eyes.

"It's going to be ok, Hales, I promise you everything is going to be ok"

She nodded as he cradled her against his chest. How had she ever thought she'd be strong while telling him this? She should have known better.

As Nathan sat there holding his wife he couldn't stop the guilt that was over taking him. 'God, he thought the accident from their senior year was behind them ages ago. Now it had come back again to bite him in the ass.'

"Hales?" he whispered. "Are you going to let them do the surgery?"

"I don't know. I don't know what to do Nathan"

"What are the risks to you Haley? I don't want your life in jeopardy."

"The risks are basically normal with every other surgery. The only additional one is that if there are complications it could prevent us from ever having another child."

"Hales you have to do this. I know I really don't have a right to ask but I don't think you can stand to lose another baby, I know I can't stand for you to lose another one"

"Nathan it could cause that though."

"Hales, we don't have much of an option here. Chances are it will cause you to lose the baby if you don't have it. When do they want to do this?"

"The day after tomorrow" she quietly answered as she broke all over again.

Nathan never would have guessed that it would be that soon. "Come on let's get you up to bed" he whispered as he helped her up from the couch.

"I have dinner ready. You should eat" she said.

"What about you" he asked as he looked down into her tear stained face, worry and fear etching hers as he was sure it was his own.

"I'm not hungry" she said.

"Oh no! You can't do this Haley. You're shutting down again. I won't lose you too!" he said as his voice was getting louder at the end. But when he saw her shoulders shaking from his slight rant, he grabbed her and pulled her back to him. He rested his chin next to the side of her head and sighed. "I'm sorry" he whispered in her ear. "I'm so sorry I shouldn't have yelled. I know this isn't easy for you either"

……..

Later that night Nathan felt Haley stirring in her sleep and tightened the protective arm he had around her. He kissed the top of her head and began smoothing her hair down trying to calm her. He knew that it was pure luck that she was asleep. He guessed that it stemmed from the pregnancy. If he had truly thought about it she had been sleeping more the last few weeks. That should have been one of his first warning signs that their quest for a second child had succeeded. He had been so thankful that they had made it through and were reconnecting that it hadn't even crossed his mind.

As he laid there and held her he ran his open palm up and down her arm. 'God he loved this woman. He wanted this baby. How in the hell did things get so messed up after college?'

……..

The next morning Nathan and Haley went back to her Dr's office and Dr. Bannerman explained the situation to them over again. As Nathan listened he was quickly changing his mind. There was no way in hell he could let her do this.

"Nathan like I told Haley yesterday, this surgery might not even work. If we had found the scar tissue before she had gotten pregnant we probably could have had even better odds but unfortunately that wasn't the case. However if we don't remove it before the size of the baby gets too large it will almost certainly cause her to lose the baby."

"What about Haley? How dangerous is the surgery to her?"

"With any surgery there are risks Nathan"

"I know that but what about this surgery?"

"Complications could cause hemorrhaging; it could cause her to never be able to carry a baby to term or it there could be the normal risks that exist from her just being put to sleep."

"What are the chances of the baby's survival if everything goes as planned?"

"The baby will have a ninety percent survival rate barring any problems."

"What is the success rate of this surgery?" Nathan asked as he looked at Haley's physician.

The Dr. sighed "About thirty five percent"

Nathan turned and looked at Haley. After the talk they had last night he had almost asked her not to do the surgery. At least he'd still have her but he knew she'd never agree to that. This was something that Haley obviously wanted to do. 'How could he choose between her and their unborn child?" For Nathan there was only one choice to make. He wanted to keep Haley with him. It wasn't that he didn't want the baby. God knows he did but how would he and Jamie survive without Haley? For Nathan it wasn't worth it. Yes he wanted another child but his ability to be complete didn't depend on it. However, he knew that after the hell Haley had been through hers did in many ways. He shook his head before finally whispering to her. "Ok"

……

Later that night they talked to Lucas and Lindsay and told them everything. Lindsay pulled Haley into a hug while Lucas placed his hand on his younger brother's shoulder and squeezed. Finally moving Nathan to the living room, claiming that the ladies had a lot to talk about, Lucas turned to speak to Nathan.

"Are you ok?"

Nathan's distant look turned to his older brother. "How can I be ok with this?"

"Nathan if you don't want her to do it you should tell her."

"How in the hell can I do that Lucas? You know the hell she's been through over losing the baby. There is no way in the world I can ask her not to do this. There is a chance that the baby will be fine this way."

"There's also a chance that Haley won't be." Lucas said in a breathless finish. "I don't know how either of us will live with that Nathan"

"Me either Lucas. ME EITHER" Nathan said as his voice broke.

……

As they went to bed that night, Haley noticed the concentrated look on Nathan's face. "Hey?"

As he looked up to her he pulled her to him quickly after his eyes rested on his face. As Haley lie there she heard and felt the sobs taking over her husband. She rubbed her hand over his back as he held her tightly against him. When they finally started to diminish she pulled back so he could look into her eyes.

"We're going to be fine" she whispered only to hear the sobs start all over again.

Nathan finally said "But what if you aren't?"

"I promise. I'm not going anywhere" she whispered back.

Nathan wrapped his arms back around her and held her. He had no idea what he was being punished for. He had done some really shitty things in his short 23 years but he never would have thought that he had done anything to deserve the hell he was feeling now. How stupid was he for thinking that happily ever after with no problems existed. They had been married over six years almost seven now and things always seemed to go wrong. "I'm going to hold you to that Haley" he said against the crook in her neck. "I can't lose you. Dear god I can't live without you Hales"

In just a few short hours they would have to get up and be at the hospital where his pregnant wife would undergo surgery; a surgery that could take her or their child from him. This surgery could end life as he knew it, life that was worth living, the only life that he knew how to live.

Please review. I know this is a terrible place to leave the story BUT there was no way I could write the next part in this same chapter. I've sat here in tears picturing Nathan so broken. I love him almost as much as Haley. hee hee. Keep the faith in me. I promise you won't be sorry.