memorable
Obscurity didn't serve you in the Abbey.
You learned that because there were too many kids and none sucked, you fell by the wayside on small margins of mediocrity. Went back outside, when the longer you stayed the more unbearable the idea. When the longer, you greater the need to stay and be worth staying.
But if your eyes were blue and cold, you might have worth. If you were willing and tolerant and tore a kid's ear the first night. If you disregarded human limitations. If you slept at night and cried little.
Your self-worth was gained and lost inside those walls. You forgot how to live without a bed and food and purpose. Forgot how to live without someone saying how. Never forgot Boris watching, waiting to be impressed.
But if you could be shocking with your hair, and attacks, and defiance, and how quickly you learned and improved upon the lessons, how flashy you could be, which few others bothered doing, too distracted by pain.
If you weren't distracted, and were beautiful, and were brutal, Boris might remember you and let you stay. And so long as Boris' eyes turned to you… you felt a little safe.
a/n: Tala is showboat. This I have learned.