a/n: I just wanted to thank you guys so much for all the great feedback for this and all the other stories I'm working on. Reviews really do inspire to get new chapters out faster and to keep going with the stories. I'm not so thrilled with this chapter and I may go back and rewrite it later, but for now I know you guys want me to continue on, so here it is.
Peyton had gone to the other side of the yard to check on the children. James and Lily were kicking a ball around with some other children.
Both Nathan and Lucas had been shocked when the two decided they wanted their balls on the ground, not in the air. They worshipped Beckham more so than Jordan. The kids were proficient at and enjoyed basketball as well, but for the most part their sport of choice was soccer. Nathan and Lucas didn't mind though and Lucas liked to tease Karen that after years of being up to her ears in basketball drama she would now be a bonafide soccer mom.
She watched the kids play and had to admit they were pretty darn good. Lily was the spitting image of Keith except for the blue eyes. She was a happy girl who had the memory of her father ingrained into her mind, who shared his sense of humor, and often liked to refer to Lucas as her brother-cousin in front of company. She and Lucas shared the characteristic broken pug nose, a quietude often mistaken for brooding, and the ability to come alive in the midst of a sport.
Watching Lily fly across the field was like watching poetry. She told Karen so one day at the soccer game and the older woman had choked up and hugged her, saying those were the exact words Keith used to describe Lucas play.
James was the spitting image of his father, from his height, to his hair, to the piercing baby blues. For the most part he followed his father around like a shadow. If asked, his heroes in order from least importance to most would be David Beckham, his Uncle Luke, his Aunt Peyton cause she's "badass", and his father. The only person who cleared that list was his mother, who he cherished. He stopped to wave in Peyton's direction and she waved back.
"Lookin' good J-man! Lil-bit work those boys out!" Peyton winked at her little sister in law, who waved back, grinning, before flying around on the boys and making a goal.
Peyton walked a little ways over to the patch of grass where Deb and three year old Amalia sat watching quietly, flipping through a picture book.
"Hey Deb."
"Hello Peyton. How's the adult side of the party?"
"Pretty kickin, but everybody knows the kids side is where it's at." Peyton replied winking at Amalia. "Hey Molly,"
"Hi Aunt Pey-Pey," the little girl replied looking up at her Aunt with a sweet smile. Unlike her brother, Amalia looked like Haley. She took after her in the brains department as well. She was incredibly bright. So much so that Nathan and Haley thought about starting her in Kindergarten early.
"Watcha reading?"
"Where de Wild Tings Are. You wan read it wiff me and Gramma?"
"I would love to read with you. This is one of my favorite books," she replied, wishing William was here to read it too.
"Eh-cept for Unco Luke's wite?" The child asked, referring to the books her uncle wrote. Peyton raised her eyebrows and smiled.
"Except for Uncle Luke's," she amended. Just as they finished the book there was commotion from the other side of the yard that caught there attention.
"Wonder what's going on," she questioned, glancing at Deb who shrugged. She stood and heard someone yell "Davis!"
So Brooke had arrived. Peyton suddenly felt a bit nervous.
"Is Brooke here?" Deb asked.
Peyton replied, "Guess so."
She made no move to get up and join the reunion going on a few feet away. She knew she had told Lucas and Haley that she was fine with Brooke coming, and it wasn't completely a lie. She had missed her best friend. She missed her when she realized she couldn't call her after Lucas proposed to her. She missed her when she was getting dressed to go to City Hall. She missed her the day she found out she was pregnant with Anna and William. She loved Haley like a sister, but there was only one Brooke Davis. She could have used her best friend many times over the years and now she was back, but in truth Peyton wasn't totally fine with it.
She didn't know why she felt so threatened that Brooke was home. It wasn't as though Brooke was any sort of threat to her marriage. She was completely secure in Lucas's love for her and his devotion to their marriage. It was the past and all the feelings that came with it that scared her.
Although Chase was there and Brooke genuinely liked him, she could tell that Brooke was not over Lucas. She saw it the day Brooke had walked in on them making out in Lucas's bedroom and the night she had walked in on them with Mouth and Skillz at Honey Grove and she saw it the next morning when she left Lucas to make sure Brooke was okay.
She tried to ignore it, but she knew Brooke was still in love with him. And knowing Brooke, she knew the brunette wouldn't say anything at that point. Brooke had stepped out of the way to give her and Lucas their chance together. It had not been so much about Brooke as it was about Lucas.
Her fear had been for Lucas who had chosen Brooke over her more than once and every time he had, it broke her heart. She could read Brooke, but in those days it was hard to read him. Lucas had been distant and brooding. Disappearing on her for days, not answering her calls or texts, made Peyton feel like she'd been deluding herself when she thought she and Lucas were destined to be together.
There was nothing particularly epic about their first few months together as a couple and before she left for LA, she felt farther away from Lucas than she'd ever been. Even when she was on the drugs and at her lowest point she had still felt him out there, but now he was an island she couldn't reach no matter how hard she paddled. But she'd continued to paddle.
Somehow throughout their history, it just always seemed like she was always paddling towards him and he was always paddling towards Brooke. Peyton was afraid that Lucas had just stopped paddling altogether and since the current happened to send him in her direction then that's where he'd stay…until Brooke beckoned. She had been terrified that it was just a matter of time before Brooke beckoned, because that fear of Lucas leaving her for Brooke had never really went away.
Her own guilt in the situation made her fear more and it made her angry. She remembered her first response the night in Honey Grove when Brooke walked in on them after making love for the first time had always bothered her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she had cried. Why?
She had acted as though Lucas was still Brooke's boyfriend and they had just been caught cheating. That was the crux of it. She'd always felt she had to hide what she and Lucas had and how she felt for him to spare Brooke's feelings. She felt like she was still paying penance for hurting Brooke twice. She also felt like Lucas wasn't truly hers, like he was something Brooke was nice enough to lend her for awhile, but she would soon want back. And with the way Lucas was acting Peyton thought he would want to.
By the time they'd gotten to LA Peyton was depressed and plastering on a happy face for Brooke's benefit. In her mind though, she was just waiting for the call from Lucas telling her he'd changed his mind. But that call never came.
The night Lucas had dropped everything and traveled across country to see her, Peyton knew she would no longer have to paddle alone. Lucas had stopped drifting and had chosen his path. They had fought their way towards each other and managed to find each other in the waves and they had not let go since.
But the night Brooke had told Peyton that she was still in love with Lucas was still imprinted in her mind. She hadn't reacted at all when Brooke told her. She had walked away before she could say or do something she'd regret. The funny thing was, she had gone through how she would react in her head when this happened, because she had been waiting for it.
Peyton didn't want to believe that after all this time Brooke was still in love with Lucas, but the look on Brooke's face yesterday at the beach was clear as day. What made Peyton nervous though, was her response.
Peyton sighed and shook her head.
"Peyton?" Deb questioned. "Aren't you going over there to see Brooke?"
Peyton shrugged.
When Peyton caught sight of Brooke, Peyton's first response, while wrapped in the arms of her husband of five years and in front of her children, was to pull away. She panicked only for a moment before reminding herself she had every right to be in his arms this way. Peyton hated that she had to feel these things again.
She didn't want to feel guilty for the happiness she and Lucas had created together and she didn't want to believe that Brooke was disappointed that she and Lucas were still together, but she knew it was true.
Peyton had missed Brooke Davis and that was no lie, but in truth Peyton Sawyer-Scott was mad as hell.