Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy, it's owned my the amazing Kurt Sutter, FX and everyone else who has the money to kick my ass in court if I don't have this up here. I do however own Taru, her horse and just about every other random that pops up in the story. This has come from the depths of my sick, insane, twisted, depraved mind and my madness fuel's it to keep going as do all my lovely fans that keep reading and reviewing.

HaylsValo: Yeah, I couldn't see him marrying Taru with Fiona and Jimmy still in the picture.

vilis91: Will he or won't he? That is the big question, Jade is part of another pick plot twist for the next story. I'll also upload a pick of the ring to my DA account so you can have a look.

Mother Murder – Hollywood Undead

I can see blood
All over my hands
The longer you lay next to me
The further I ran
What's it all worth?
How much can you stand?
The longer you stay close to me
The further I ran

Goodbyes

=Chibs' P.O.V=

Here I was, rain pouring down around me, the gravel under my knees digging in through the ripped denim of my jeans. My hands covered in blood, body shaking from the effort to breathe and strangled silent cries coming from every inch of my being. The blood coating the road was being wash away, draining from her body to soak into the gravel, to soak into the earth beneath the gravel as it spread, a deep rich pool of red spreading and coating the ground underneath her steadily cooling body.

I choked back another cry; I can't touch her, not while I'm in this state, not while she's in this state. The pain is blurring my senses, dulling them and fueling my emotions.

Tig's behind me somewhere, his cries are just as real as mine, but instead of losing a lover he's losing another friend. Somewhere to my left are Juice and Happy, who'd have thought the club killer would be consoling the tech expert. Jax is on the other side of Taru, he's holding Tara, her hands coated in thick red blood too, she'd done all she could even if it was never going to be enough. Clay is hanging back, Opie and Bobby too, I don't blame Opie for not coming closer, he saw enough blood the night Donna died.

I shuddered as the rain soaked through my skin chilling me to my inner most core, the pain searing across every inch of my body, not only from the bullet wound I'd received by from the pain of losing the love of my life, the woman I'd wanted to spend eternity with.

I reached out shakily and brushed back a strand of soaked black hair from her face, skin glowing lightly from the reflection of the moon. Who'd have thought she would die here, on a god forsaken gravel road in the middle of fucking nowhere, two bullets to her chest was all it took, both too close to her heart to stop the bleeding. I closed her eyes carefully and felt the urge to grab her and scream at her to wake up, the Reaper surely couldn't be this cruel could he?

The ambulance lights reflect off her skin, she's lying here because of me and because Jimmy O had to take the one thing that was making me happy, the one thing that was my reason to get up every morning, the one reason I had to stay alive everyday and return home every night.

I choked back a cry as Bobby and Opie took a grip on my shoulders and hauled me back, my hand still tingling from how hard she was gripping it, she didn't want to die, not like this but little by little she had let go, her eyes pleading, telling me it was ok to let her go even if it wasn't the truth, her grip had weakened slowly as the blood siphoned from her body, she was a natural born fighter, she wanted to hang on until the swirling darkness claimed her.

The events played over and over in my mind, the phone call from Unser saying that both Taru and Tara had been dragged from the hospital and gun point, the black SUV trying to run us off the road, the moment when I had realized it was futile trying to bargain or threaten the Irishmen into letting them go, the split second when they'd reneged on their end of the deal, the moment time seemed to stop as the first pushed Taru away and shot at her, the moments I had pulled the trigger and shot him. Everything had happened in slow motion, there hadn't been enough time to react because once the first shot had been fired everyone had opened fire on them leaving Tara to duck out of the way to help Taru.

I jerked awake and glanced wildly around the room, heart racing in my chest from my dream, it had been far too realistic for my liking. I looked to Taru and exhaled slowly seeing her safe and well. "Ya got me tied up in knots love" I murmured softly and sighed heavily leaning forward and putting my head in my hands before scrubbing my palms over my face. There's going to be hell to pay when I get my hands on that god damn O'Phelan McPrick.

I exhaled slowly and brushed away the wet sleep from the corners of my eyes. We would be leaving tonight, 6 pm sharp by a cargo jet out of Stockton to Manchester, from there we would head to Stranraer and finally ferry to Belfast to meet up with SAMBEL.

"Hey," I looked up to see Jax as he pushed the door shut and gave him a light nod. "How is she?"

"Same as before Jackie boy" I murmured standing slowly, my muscles cramping from being in one spot for so long.

"Chibs you should stay behind, Taru needs you" Jax said placing a hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head lightly. "Taru would 'ave told me ta go, she would 'ave wanted me ta go and 'elp ya find Abel," I looked from Taru to Jax. "Plus it'll kill 'er enough when she wakes up and finds out about the Prospect"

Jax nodded giving me a tight brother like hug. "Thanks brother"

I nodded. "There's not much I can do sittin' 'ere anyway, Tara said when she wants ta wake up she will, it's not like I can force 'er ta open 'er eyes"

"She'll pull through bro, Taru's a tough chick, she's survived being nearly eviscerated, almost gettin' crushed, her heart stoppin' for no reason and god know how many other injuries, she'll pull through and come out stronger from it"

I nodded brushing back a stand of Taru's hair before sighing lightly. "Aye, I know she will" I couldn't put a voice to my next words; there was still that niggling fear in the back of my mind. What if she does what she did in Finland? What if she skips? She could just run away from it all again. "What'd ya need me for?" I asked looking up at him.

"T.O called, Bastard's need our help"

"Doesn't sound good"

Jax shrugged lightly. "Probably isn't"

"Aye, give me a minute ta say goodbye ta Taru"

He nodded lightly. "I'll meet you outside" He stated stepping out of the room.

"Guess I'd better say goodbye ta ya now love, don't know when I'll get another chance ta do it before we leave," I sighed softly leaning on the edge of the bed and brushed away a loose eyelash from her face. "I'll miss ya love," I leant over placing a light kiss on her lips. "But I'll think of ya every day and be back as soon as we've got Abel back" I murmured memorising her face for the millionth time in the past hour; I didn't want to forget a single detail while we were away.

"I promise I'll 'ave somethin' big ta tell ya when I get back," I grinned lightly. "That is if everythin' goes ta plan and she agrees ta it" I murmured pressing a kiss to the cheek. "I'll be back in a week love, stay safe for me" I murmured pressing another kiss to her lips and forced myself to stand, walking away from her in the state she was in was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do and I never wanted to have to do it again.

I know, I know, I've been lazy recently, working on three other stories and playing the Sims 3 as well as trying my hand at creating mods of the game. I didn't actually realize just how short this one was either but I'm happy with it for now, may change it at a later date. The song at the beginning is what gave me the idea for the dream.

I will probably be uploading things to my DA account within the next few days, I got really bored whilst playing the Sims and took the time to recreate each of the horses Taru own including the new stallion she's going to get ;P and trust me the breed and colour is one of my all time faves, they are absolutely stunning and if I ever get the money I will import one to NZ because they are simply a stunning breed of horse and so versatile too. I will however leave all of it a complete and utter mystery until I write it in down the line.

Also I have been thinking about throwing Taru's lovely estranged mother into the picture, tell me if I should or not. She'd be in the next story, maybe the one after that. Unsure still, if you want to see the fireworks tell me, if you don't tell me, let me know what you want to see.