Say what? Two updates in two days? Oh no she didn't! What can I say? The reviews were so great I had to give you guys another chapter...remember this when I'm up to my eyeballs in 400 level courses in the fall and I can't update for weeks and weeks and months. I'm sorry in advance. tear
PS-If you haven't seen Half Nelson with Ryan Gosling and Shareeka Epps, I highly recommend it. Ryan's performance is breathtaking.
"Where's your friend mommy?" Anna asked from her place in between her parents. She craned her neck backwards to look up at Peyton.
"Which friend, baby?" Peyton asked, as Lucas picked the little girl up to save her neck from the straining.
"You know!" Anna cried, throwing her arms out dramatically. "Daddy's old one, but she's not old cos dat means you just knowed her long time ago. Uncold Nathan says so."
Lucas looked at Peyton and shrugged, knowing she was talking about Brooke. They had looked for her earlier, a half hearted attempt on Peyton's part, but couldn't find her. "I don't know baby girl," Peyton replied, truthfully.
"She finks I'm beautiful," Anna grinned up at Lucas and he smiled. Anyone who thought Anna was beautiful was alright in the little girl's book.
"That's because you are beautiful my princess," he replied, kissing her cheeks. Anna smiled sweetly and ordered,
"Spin me Daddy!" Lucas stepped back from Peyton and William and did as asked, making the little girl cackle as she leaned her head back.
Peyton watched them with a smile, still cradling William's head on her shoulder. She and Brooke had managed to keep out of each other's presence for a full two hours. She couldn't fathom how. Nor could she deny the nervousness of seeing her. They had been actively avoiding each other for the most part and she knew it. She thought there had to be a reason why.
"Ma," William whispered, snuffling against her shoulder. Peyton turned her head and kissed his neck.
"What is it baby?" Peyton asked, knowing whatever answer he tried to give her would not be understandable. She patted his bottom and found it had grown slightly bigger.
"Somebody needs a diaper change," she whispered. "Luke."
Lucas, who had been bouncing around in circles with a squealing Anna, stopped to look at Peyton.
"What's up baby?"
"Diaper run," she called, patting William's bottom.
"Want me to do it?" he asked walking towards her.
"No, I got it, Luke." she replied, smiling down at Anna. "Stay here and dance with your daughter."
"I've got you next," he called, lifting a corner of his mouth in a lazy smile. Peyton looked over her shoulder, turned and walked back to her husband and leaned in so her lips touched his earlobe.
"Always," she whispered. She pulled back to find him gazing at her happily.
"You know we have another forty-three minutes till the next hour but-"
"I know. I love you too, Mr. Scott." They shared a peck and she turned back in the direction of the house. She smiled when she heard Anna saying, "How bout me Daddy? You love me?" and Lucas's reply she knew was a big messy kiss to her neck, because she heard the girl start giggling maniacally.
She walked inside, picking up William's diaper bag by the door and found a spot in the sun room. She sat him down next to her and began digging through the forest green Eddie Bauer bag for diapers and powder.
When they got pregnant with Anna and they were shopping for things like strollers and diaper bags, Lucas and Peyton both agreed on items that weren't, as Peyton put it, 'cutsified'. It was neither of their style and "a mockery to Lucas's manhood". Whenever they'd used that line, Lucas would beat his chest Tarzan style to highlight their point.
"Come here, bugger," Peyton cooed standing the baby in front of her. She took off his overalls and quickly changed his wet diaper, thankful that he was staying still for her this time. He was sleepy and would probably be ready for a nap very soon.
She stood him up when she was finished and he toddled off, ignoring her call for him to wait. When William had places to go, he had places to go and there was no stopping him.
"William Keith Fitzgerald Scott!" Peyton wasn't usually a 'use their entire name' kind of mom, but Haley had plants around that would be massacred if she didn't get his attention. She scrambled to her feet and looked around to find the baby was nowhere in sight. "Shit!"
She walked through the kitchen and to the family room. She wasn't sure what the appeal was to her son, but since he started walking it seemed he had an affinity for killing plants. William got into everything, but six dead house plants later she knew where he liked to get into the most trouble. Aside from that he'd left a trail. He'd stopped long enough to kick off his little sandals just outside the kitchen. William hated shoes and socks too.
"William!" She stopped short of the family room peeking in when she heard the murmuring of a familiar voice.
Brooke looked up at Peyton with surprise and slowly rose from her kneeling position. Neither of them said anything for a long time, facing off much in the same fashion as they had at the beach a day before. William took off towards Haley's fern and Peyton kicked into Mommy mode and quickly headed him off.
"Oh no you don't ya little plant killer." She scooped him up quickly, swinging him up in her arms. She pointed to the fern and shook her head, "No."
William looked down at the plant and then back up at his mother with serious, blue Scott eyes. "Ma!" He pointed to his conquest and Peyton shook her head again, aware of Brooke's presence in the room.
"Nothin' doin', kid," she muttered, before glancing up at the brunette.
"Um, I uh just came in to clear my head," Brooke said, trying to read Peyton's mood. "It's sorta crazy out there you know?"
"Yeah, wait till the kids get put to bed. You don't know from crazy," Peyton replied, good naturedly, nodding her head for no reason, as she usually did when she was uncomfortable.
"So who's this?" Brooke asked gesturing to William. She already knew his name and exactly who he was, but it was all she could come up with.
"Um, this is William Keith Fitzgerald Scott," Peyton replied, looking down at the baby who at the moment seemed too tired to fight her. At Brook's raised eyebrow Peyton shrugged. "Lucas named him…after-"
"His favorite authors," they both said at the same time. Peyton nodded shifting uncomfortably. Brooke cleared her throat, feeling she might have spoken out of turn.
"Um, How old is he?"
"Fourteen months," Peyton replied, moving to sit down with the suddenly snoring baby.
"Oh. I met Anna too," Brooke offered, sitting gingerly on the opposite end of the couch. Peyton's lips lifted in a tiny smile and Brooke sighed, turning away. This isn't awkward at all, she thought.
Brooke began looking at the pictures on the mantle once again. It was what she was doing before William had scurried in. There were many of both family and friends. There was a cute one of Nathan and Lucas both holding their daughters at Christmas and another one with Peyton and Haley holding their sons and one with all of them together. There was one of Haley and Peyton pregnant and making faces at the camera. One of Lily and Karen, Deb with her grandchildren Skills, Bevin, Mouth, Jake and his family were even tucked in there. She had missed so much and for that she regretted being away.
She stood back up and walked over to the mantle, looking at all the photographs, sad that she wasn't in any of them. She stopped on a family photo of Lucas and Peyton with their children, professionally done. They are sitting outside on a picnic blanket, huddled together wearing jeans and tee shirts, and grinning at each other. Brooke thought for a moment what it would be like if it was her in those photos instead of Peyton, but only for a moment.
She couldn't think those thoughts. Not with Peyton behind her, holding her son. Her son who looked like the man she realized today she couldn't seem to let go of. She didn't know if Peyton could see it. The pain of her being here watching Lucas kiss his wife, watching Lucas adore his wife. She had realized today, and it had come with startling clarity, why Chase had left her.
She had been living by the old saying that if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. She knew there was more, but she hadn't been concerned with the rest. She was still waiting for him to come back…
And while she had been waiting for him, Chase was growing impatient with waiting for the rest of her heart and Lucas Scott, the love of her life, was making a life and a family with the love of his.
Perhaps she could try. Perhaps she could salvage something.
"Peyton," she said, pausing, because she realized it was the first time she'd said her name in five years. "Mm, about yesterday at the beach. I-
"She's four." Brooke looked back at Peyton who had been watching the war within her for some time.
"What?"
"Anna. She's four and she has her father wrapped around her finger. She has Nathan and my dad on just as short a leash. They can't say no to her. And she's always hungry even though she is this tiny little thing. My Dad says I was the same way."
"Why are you-" But Peyton continued as though she hadn't spoke, her voice soft and hypnotic.
"She laughs like her daddy who she worships. She and Lucas have the same laugh and the same birthmark on their left knees. When she turned three there was a seven month period where she did nothing but follow him around. We called her his little shadow and he wrote his third novel with her sitting in his lap staring at him and he dedicated the book to her. She loves to read and to color and she loves to sing. Luke and I, you know neither of us can carry a tune to save our lives, but she has a very sweet voice. But maybe I'm impartial. I was in labor with her for forty-seven hours and I've never felt physical pain like that before or since. Not even with William who was three weeks late."
She turned to Brooke lifting a small corner of her mouth in a wry smile. "They had to scheduled to induce me after Lucas came back from California, but my water broke two days before and Lucas took the Red eye home as fast as he could. Lucas delivered both of our children. I think that's why they all adore the hell out of each other. William began walking early, because he had places to go. He loves to take naps in people's arms and we let him, because he's always going and won't let anyone hold him for long. He's happy and carefree, but his eyes are very serious like his daddy's so people who don't know them think he's unhappy. He likes to pull up plants and play in the dirt, so my plants are all out of his reach. Lucas says William and I sleep the same. Sprawled out, yanking the covers and snoring with our mouths open."
Brooke cracked a small smile looking down at the baby whose little mouth was indeed hanging open and he was indeed snoring softly. She remembered being appalled the first time they shared a bed as children and she had let Peyton know she'd be hard pressed to find anyone to share a bed with later on.
"He was so excited to tell me. I went out of town once and Lucas called to ask me how to get gum out of hair. He'd given Anna, who was still three at the time gum and was trying to show her how to blow bubbles and ,as he explained it, William got too close and it all went to hell. I was so mad. I mean who gives a toddler gum? I came home and William and Anna's hair was all chopped up and patchy. I cried," she giggled at the memory and shook her head.
"I call Lucas Mr. Mommy because he cooks and stays home with the kids, since his work permits it and he calls me Mrs. Daddy because I leave with a briefcase every morning and well-I still can't cook."
Peyton sighed and looked up at Brooke who was staring back at her, unsure of what to make of the monologue Peyton had just given her. Peyton shrugged.
"They're my family, Brooke. I've never felt happiness like this. This is my family and I love them more than my life. I can't spend my time living in the past because I have too much at stake here in the present."
When Brooke didn't say anything, Peyton stood up to leave, having said her piece, but before she could take a step Brooke spoke up.
"Whatever else you may think….or I may feel….I did miss you P Sawyer. A lot." Peyton turned around and looked down at her ex-best friend. A woman who had cried with her and held her hand the day her mother died, a woman who gave her a second and third chance after breaking her heart, a woman she had missed so much she gave part of her name to her baby girl.
She didn't have a lot of regrets and she certainly didn't want Brooke to remain on that list when she didn't have to. The left corner of Peyton's mouth lifted and the other side joined it.
With misty eyes she replied, "I missed you too, B."