A/N-Hello again my readers! It's my Saturday right before my break ends, so I wanted to get this chapter posted. Hehe...you might want to get your pitchforks ready because umm...I kind of didn't but the confrontation in this chapter. I meant to...I really did, but the dream sequence got like 4 pages too long and I couldn't put it in. I'm terribly sorry! On another note all the fragment type sentences in the dream sequence are supposed to be there. Y'know when you are dreaming or thinking and your mind suddenly like totally skips into thoughts like: I love chicken...I wonder if... Yah, so I hope that doesn't annoy anyone, lol. So, please enjoy chapter six! I hope you like it and as always please try and disregard any typos, grammar and/or spelling errors. Enjoy!

Summary: Derek's estranged mother, is diagnosed with a rare, terminal disease and the doctors are giving her two weeks to live. With this Derek must deal with old emotions surfacing as well as old memories he'd like to forget. But, you know what they say, with all pain, there comes love. Dasey!

Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek.

Life With Derek: Depths of our Beings

Chapter Six:

Alone in the Ring

I think everyone has an end…an end that seems peaceful and unforced. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't get to that end…because death is forced upon them like a barbell weight. Call it destiny, call it fate…but maybe some people aren't meant to die peacefully. Maybe death is thrown into their lap for a reason. The smartest and bravest people can accept death in these untimely situations because they know they did all they could and lived everyday to their fullest. And this may sound cliché, but those kinds of people will have a fulfilling life if their life ends at 22 or 92 because they did all they could. However, the majority of us will never be ready. And that is why death is so stunning we're not ready and most likely will never be.

"Shit, shit, shit…" I whispered to myself as I was running to catch the school bus. "No! Not TODAY!" I screamed after the bus that was now becoming a big yellow blob. I stood there a boy barely of eleven almost blubbering my eyes out because I had missed the bus. I can remember thinking about what I was going to do if I could run fast enough, so that I would get there before they would call her…but I knew in the back of my mind I had no chance…no possible way, and I knew she wouldn't drive me. Nope, she'd be a lot more "caring" than that. You see I'd learned to enjoy the so-called "time restraints", in which my mother was put under. My dad got home around 7 to 8 o'clock every night. Now, before it would be quite possible for her to make dinner, clean, do whatever she needed to do, and "take care of me". However, when I was seven, I got smart, and I asked my dad if I could start playing hockey. Of course, he almost leapt out of his chair with excitement, but my mother on the other hand aggressively objected, she said, "I don't want him to hurt himself, hockey is such a violent game!" I remember rolling my eyes and my dad scolding me after for doing so, but I remember him telling her that I'd be fine. And, of course she agreed, because what was she supposed to say: "He can't, he has to stay home so I can beat him, cut and chase him with knives, and then rape him!" No, I'm not thinking so. See, the only reason I hadn't confessed to my father was simple she threatened me. If I told anyone, she'd do the same thing she did to me, to Marti and Edwin…or she'd kill them and me. I wasn't stupid that's how she always threatened me, if I screamed; if I ran even…it was always the same "these things don't have to be saved just for you". I couldn't do that to them…I couldn't subject them to the pain…I was already scarred, they didn't need to be too. Good ol' time restraints…after I started playing hockey, I would walk to the rink with some friends after school and practice. Then, at about 5-7 o'clock my mother would pick me up, or preferably someone's parents would give me a ride home. This gave my mother only up to an hour and a half to do what she wanted…usually less time than that. It was then the beatings became fiercer…but I didn't care because she didn't go all the way anymore…all right I'll say it…she didn't really have time to rape me anymore. She beat me more…and our butcher knives and steak knives became her favorite new weapons…she still…molested me, but she didn't go all the way…and sure I felt tainted…and scarred even…but it was different. However, I knew what was going to happen on this particular day. I walked home as quietly and as slowly as I could, hoping and praying she'd give me a break. I opened the door almost inaudibly, quietly slipped in, and then tiptoed into the kitchen. I then set down my book-bag and sat down in a chair. She was feeding Marti and quickly whipped around.

This was the first time she acknowledged my presence, "Why are you here?"

I stared at the ground and muttered, "I…I missed the bus…" I started shaking.

A sly smile quickly became spewed across her face and she dropped the spoon she was feeding Marti with into the bowl, "You know you don't look so great…" she paused to smirk at me and then felt my forehead and gasped in a fake shocked manner, "Yes, you are definitely coming down with something…I'll go phone the school….now." She whipped around and walked into the other room to grab the phone.

I started panicking and a cold sweat broke across my forehead. I didn't need what was coming I didn't…I…

I heard the phone slam down in the other room, and then she walked in and again gave me an underhanded glance, "It's all settled!"

I just sat there, like a bump on a log…as she hustled around with her business as usual and I just sat there doing nothing and she ignored me…and I was pleasantly surprised. However, I could feel something approaching… While she was putting Marti down for a nap my dad called and I answered the phone.

"Ummm…hello?"

My dad's voice tensed a little, "Hey bud, what are you doing home?"

I opened my mouth, but I didn't know what to say should I tell him everything…she'd surly kill me and Marti if I did so…because Ed was at school, I guess he'd be safe but…

I remember my thoughts suddenly be snapped with a loud yell, "If that's your father remember you're sick!"

I remember just answering automatically out of fear, "Umm…I'm sick…"

My dad's voice became gentler, "Oh…I hope you feel better. Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah…I think it's just the flu or something…I'll be fine…"

"Oh okay, is you're mom home by any chance?"

"Yeah…hold on a sec…"

I quietly walked upstairs and handed her the phone. She shot me a look and I turned around and shot down the stairs. I quickly grabbed the living room phone, covered the speaker, and quietly tuned in.

"…Is there something wrong with him?" I took this as my dad's voice.

"Well…" I could feel a sense of anger in her voice, but she did a good job of covering it up, "Well…what do you mean, he's sick…obviously…"

He cut her off, "Not that…it just seemed as though he was tense…like he was afraid of something…"

I could tell she was becoming angrier, "No, he's fine…he's just had a hard day…right after you left he threw up his breakfast…and…" she trailed off.

Well, that was obviously a lie, but it won my dad over, "Oh, okay I'll leave you to what you were doing…love you bye."

"Bye," she responded as she hung up the phone.

I tensed up a bit, knowing any minute she was going to bound the stairs…angrier than ever. A few minutes she did what I predicted, anger burning in her face.

She slammed her fist on the coffee table and took a hard shot right at my head, "What the hell are you doing boy? Are you trying to get me caught? You know Marti's right up stairs…I mean you can go to school…if you'd like."

I shot a gaze towards the floor, "No…I'm good…"

"Well, you better be…"

She took another glance at me, "I'm not liking that attitude these days boy…"

She took a couple punches and slaps…and as usual I knew not to fight back, it would only make it mush worse. She grabbed an oversized knife and pulled me into our crap hole of a basement. It was the look in her eyes at these times that told me if I were to fight back she'd kill me…and she wouldn't have to even think about it. It was scary to see her face light up every time she poked the colossal blade at me. She was smart…if you looked at it in that way…at the start the wounds were very shallow and then she made them deeper and deeper…it was a great way to put a person in immense pain. It was getting to the point were I was becoming almost…numb from the pain. She began getting restless with hitting me and stabbing me…but not getting a rise out of me; she then moved on to her next order of business. I turned my back to her knowing fully what was coming my way…tears started falling as did my pants, shirt, and other undergarments. She threw me to the hard, cold, clammy basement floor.

I didn't scream, I barely even moved; I just couldn't find my voice…I never could. She started to pry open my legs and assert herself upon me to make me do what I learned to do…since I was a little boy. I tried to pull away not really getting anywhere…because she pulled closer…It began…

"NO! Please stop!" I begged as she began.

She looked at my sullen face, "Boy you deserved this and you know it!"

While, I was almost positive I could almost overpower her, I didn't. She would kill me and even if she didn't she would kill Marti and she wouldn't hesitate. I had to take it…for Marti…for Ed…for everything I had ever done to anger her. I pulled my head to rest to the side and pinched my eyes shut as she continued to rape me. I remember waking up on the cold basement floor…naked; my whole body ached. I looked around to see where she had gone, but seemed she was already upstairs acting like nothing had happened. I sighed and attempted to lift myself up off the floor. I had a difficult time; I shook as I stood up…man I felt like shit. I quickly found my clothes and tossed them on as quickly as possible. I sauntered up the stairs with little effort, hoping that she would just leave me be the rest of the day…I didn't even care if she made me clean…just I wanted all of her 'fun' to end. When I finally reached the top of the stairs and entered the rest of the main floor my mother seemed to be nowhere in sight. Signals went off in my head…get Marti…and get OUT! That's when I noticed a small scrap off paper on the kitchen counter.

Went grocery shopping WITH Marti…don't try anything funny! Then, I'm picking up Edwin. I mean it if you dare tell anyone she gets it. Get into bed and act sick.

Mom

I remembering thinking about how much of a lovely note my mother left…she surly cared about me. Well, she didn't have to tell me twice…I felt like shit. I crinkled up the note and tossed it, took an aspirin for the aches and my splintering headache and went straight to bed.

"Der…DEREK!" a voice over me screamed, shaking me awake.

"Go…away…" I barely muttered as I put my pillow over my head.

"C'mon son…get up!" the voice again shouted.

I yawned, "Fine…"

I sat up and opened my eyes to reveal the owner of the voice: my father, who was sitting at the foot of my bed.

I again yawned and tiredly asked, "Why are you here and why did you wake me up?"

He moved closer to take a proper look at me, "You look like hell…"

I shrugged, "Thanks."

"No seriously bud…what's going on?"

I suddenly became more alert, "Wha…what do you mean?"

"You know as well as I that you weren't sick this morning…why is your mother lying for you and better yet where is she and where is Marti?"

I sighed, "They're at the store…"

He gave me a affirmative look, "And…"

I laughed nervously, "Nothing…"

"Derek…"

I remember thinking that I had to tell him, that it couldn't keep going on…and that's when I decided, that I would tell him everything…but I wasn't even sure what was going to happen…she'd probably kill us, but…I had to, it was time.

"Dad," I spoke with a tremor, "You might want to sit down."

He gave me a puzzled look, "I am sitting down, Der…"

"Well than, I guess…"I started crying.

He sat there for a while, not knowing what to do; he was paralyzed with shock. He then grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. "What's wrong?" he asked softly.

I broke the embrace and turned away, "Nothing, never mind…" I just couldn't tell him…my mother was dangerous I couldn't put him and the rest of my family through what she might do. "I'm just tired, and sick…I think I have a fever…" I said as I collapsed back into a laying position.

He stared at me hard, as if he was going to stare through me. He then reached over and felt my forehead, "Well, you do feel warm…"

I almost sighed in relief…I must have gotten an infection or something from the…ahhh…stabbings.

He continued, "I'll be right back…"

As he walked out of the room, I relaxed slightly, thinking over what I was going to do and say when he returned. I couldn't believe he thought something suspicious; my dad…he was the most not paranoid and trusting person in the world…it was weird.

I was quickly turned away from my thoughts when he reentered the room, "Here, stick this under your tongue," he said handing me a thermometer.

I did as I was told; then we waited quietly for it to be done in an awkward silence. I quickly strained my eyes closed, suddenly feeling my earlier headache again.

The thermometer beeped shrilly and my father extracted it from my mouth, "102…wow…sorry I didn't believe you Derek…"

I suddenly felt a wave of guilt wash over me…I couldn't believe I couldn't tell him the truth. I was smitten with what I should do next.

He looked at me with an apologetic look, "Der…do you need an aspirin?" he said almost laughing.

"Yeah," I croaked, "I have a bad headache…thanks. Wait, how'd you know?"

He laughed, "You had this really pained look on your face…"

"Oh…I…"I stammered.

He shook his head, "Shh…just get some sleep I'll be right back…"

I remembering being so overwhelmed at that point; I was upset at myself…I mean he trusted me…why the hell couldn't I trust him? I mean he never did anything to me…it wasn't his fault.

"Here," he said reentering he room and handing me an aspirin and a glass of water.

"Thanks," I said graciously taking both items from him.

He watched me take the aspirin and drink awhile before he got uncomfortable and asked, "Do you need anything else?"

I was about to shake my head no, but instead awkwardly answered, "Yes, please sit…"

He gave me a puzzled look, but complied with my request.

I took a deep shaky breath…overwhelmed at what I was doing. "Dad, ummm…well you know me and Mom always haven't had the best relationship and…"

He cut me off, "Derek, if this is about her being hard on you…I'll talk to her…"

I waved my hand, "No, no just let me finish…" I paused not knowing to put everything into words, "Dad," I again took a deep shaky breath, "She beats me…"

He stared at me for a while, "What? When?"

I shook off his questions, "That's not it…"

He stared dumbfound at me, waiting for me to continue.

Tears silently began to fall as I was struggling with saying the rest, "Umm…"

He stared at me, not breaking eye contact.

"Well…I…" I said in between the fat tears, "She molests me…" I stated voice falling to a mere whisper, "And rapes me…"

I knew a million questions must have been running through his mind, but he didn't ask them, he just pulled me back into a hug and let me cry.

I woke up in my bed, head throbbing just as it did barely seven years before. I shook my head fiercely, to rid myself of the gnawing pain. I then opened my eyes and paid attention to the rest of my surroundings.

"Hey," Casey said from a sitting position at the foot of my bed.

"Hey," I replied slowly rubbing my hand over my face a few times.

"Your Dad said you passed out," she said quietly.

I shot a look at her, "I didn't pass out, I was merely taking an afternoon nap."

She couldn't control her laughter, "Yeah, okay Derek…"

I shook my head, "Seriously, I'm fine no one needs to get all worked up here!"

She lowered her eyes slightly, "Did you have another nightmare?"

I shook my head, "Well not really, it was more of a daunting dream that was eventually uplifting…"

She shook her this time, "Oh cut the bullshit Derek, This was you," she said standing up and then lying on the ground, "No, stop, FUCK YOU!" she said twisting and jerking around.

I laughed, "First off, I do not sound like that, second off I didn't have a nightmare…"

"Oh okay," she replied in her best mocking voice.

"Man you're mocking is pitiful…" I said smile scraping onto my face.

She laughed, "Sorry, it's just when someone's in so much pain, it's hard to mock them."

I looked her right in the eye, I could tell she had been crying, I mentally slapped myself, "I'm fine, I swear, I'm going to go to hockey, and then," I couldn't believe what came out of my mouth, "I'm going to the hospital…"

She gawked at me, "Are you sure?"

I nodded, "Positive, I'm cool I promise…I need to."

She moved closer to me, "You know if you want I can come with."

I tensed up a bit, "NO, this is pain I have to deal with…myself…"

She protested, "Are you sure I mean you haven't been really dealing with this so great…I mean well…"

I shook off her concern, "No seriously, I mean it; this time I'm going to be fine…I'll be right as rain…"

Silent tears started slipping down her beautiful…gorgeous face.

I pulled closer and wiped some of her tears away, "What's wrong?"

"Stop. Lying." She said in between tears.

I grabbed her hand, "I'm not lying…"

She pulled away, "Yes you are, don't give me that 'I'm okay, because I'm Derek Venturi: Mr. Cool'…"

I turned my head slightly in an embarrassed manner, "I'm fine…"

"How can you say that? How can you live this way knowing every day what happened to you? How can you live in denial?"

I shook my head, trying to leave the anger dormant, I didn't want to yell at her, "I can live in denial because I have to…I don't need to think about this everyday…and I can't accept and I don't think I'll ever be able to. But, y'know what? I've been doing pretty well and what I'm doing works, so I'm going to keep doing it."

She shook her head again tears flowing freely now, "That's no way to live…"

She broke off as our lips met in a very un-stepsibling way.

I tore away, "We can't do this…I...I have a fever…"

She shook my comment off and kissed me again, "Shut up, you'll ruin it…"

A/N- There you are glorious chapter 6! Lol...sorry if you hated it... As always I love hearing what you think so if you could take one second to review...I will love you forever, lol thanks so much for reading! I appreciate you all.

-chickenboyssuck