First of all I need to thank everyone who has been following my stories so loyally. Like many of you, a new semester of school has begun for me and it is because of this that you should know updates for Bliss, Bare Witness, and Journey will not be coming again any time soon. I'm an English major and my workload has been bumped up in this new year of classes tenfold. Consider these stories on hiatus. I will try to get little snippets to you so know that if there are updates they will be very short, although I really hate doing that. So once again, thank you for the support and sorry again!
Lexlady
"I can't do this," Brooke murmured to herself, pacing back and forth. "I can't do this," she cried to herself, wringing her hands. She kept telling herself that this feeling would pass. That seeing them together would get easier. But the more she saw them the more painful it became. The way he touched her, the way he looked at her, the way he couldn't seem to get enough of her.
She had stolen away halfway through the song without anyone noticing. She couldn't watch the passion soaked way Lucas was looking at Peyton anymore. And she couldn't deal with the urge she had to stomp over there and rip him out of her arms. She didn't want to feel this way. She wanted to be happy for Peyton, but they and her heart were making it really hard.
She shook her head and leaned herself against the cool marble of the bathroom countertop trying to still all the thoughts and feelings swirling around inside of her.
"Get it together Davis," she murmured. She sniffed, looked in the mirror and chuffed at the site she was. She smoothed out her hair and left the bathroom, running straight into Nathan.
"Sorry Davis," Nathan apologized, removing the arm he'd thrown out to keep her from falling. "You okay?"
"Yeah," Brooke smiled. "I'm fine. What are you doing up here?"
"We were just setting the older kids up with a movie and tucking Amalia and Anna into bed."
"We?"
"Well you just missed Peyton," he explained, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms.
"Ran off to make out with Lucas?" Brooke cringed at the biting tone she had failed to leave out of that inquiry. Nathan raised an eyebrow. Most places he was known as Haley's husband and he told most people he was very happily whipped, but he was very perceptive. He knew something was up.
"She did go to get Lucas so he could come up and say goodnight to the girls. And there is most likely some making out going on."
"Are they always like that?" Nathan knew what Brooke was talking about. Lucas had always been tender with Peyton and over the years he had gotten the art of amorousness down to a science.
"Yeah. They kind of are." When Brooke didn't respond Nathan continued on. "They were different after they came back, you know. It was as though Lucas had woken up from sleeping for months and realized if he didn't unlock his whole heart he'd loose the love of his life. After he came back from LA he was…practically glowing and I know that's a weird word to use cause he's a guy, but he was and he could barely function cause his head was in the clouds. He was counting the days until he got to see her again. And then she came home and they haven't left one another's sides since without being torn apart by force."
Slightly annoyed Brooke looked up at Nathan with a raised eyebrow. "Okay. Great story," was all she could come up with. She couldn't smile and pretend their love wasn't killing her.
"It's not just a great story Brooke. It's your friend's story. Your best friend. I care about you Brooke, but…Peyton is like my sister-hell she is my sister and I don't want her to get hurt. I'm gonna protect her. I don't care from who."
"Okay what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"I'm not an idiot Brooke. I see you watching them. You aren't being very subtle."
"It's hard to be subtle when your ex-boyfriend is dry humping your ex best friend two feet away from you," Brooke replied with a sarcastic smirk.
Seeing them together didn't hurt this badly back in high school. And she knew it was seeing them this happy after all this time that made it sting so much. She had never wanted to believe their love would last thing long or grow so strong.
"Brooke," Nathan said, quietly. "Is this going to be a problem?"
Brooke shook her head and put her game face back on. "No. I'm just…not used to this. You guys have had six years to get used to them together like this. I'll be fine. I just need time."
Nathan nodded dubiously. He had already guessed that Peyton and Brooke had parted because of Lucas. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out, but for now he decided to let it go. "Okay well, your room is down the hall. If you want I can get your stuff from your hotel."
"No, I want you to enjoy this, Nate. We can do all that later."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I'll be down soon. I just need a moment."
"Okay…But Brooke you can talk to me about anything," Nathan said, smiling kindly at her. "Just…know that too okay?"
Brooke returned his smile. "Thanks."
Nathan went down the stairs and Brooke sighed. The faint sounds of the party outside floated in through an open window from one side of the hall and from the other she could hear the movie the older children were watching. She walked along the hall, lightly touching family pictures on the wall and wished she belonged to someone the way all the Scotts belonged to each other.
All of a sudden she heard a faint whimper and then a cry. Opening a door she peeked in and found little William Scott standing in his crib with big tears rolling down his cheeks.
She looked around her and walked into the room and undimmed the lights.
"Hey there," she whispered, once again blown away by the resemblance between the baby and its father. She remembered Karen showing her baby pictures of Lucas once and there was no doubt that William was the spitting image of his father. The chiseled features of Lucas's face were rounded, softened and chubby on the baby's face, but one day that kid would be a heartbreaker.
Just like his daddy, she thought. William had stopped crying for now and was watching the new face watch him. "Mama?" he cried tragically, opening and closing his fists.
Brooke's stomach jumped hearing him call her that. She smiled at the baby and stepped closer and wished she was his mother.
"Hey, little guy," she whispered.
"Dada!" William began to cry again, sitting down in his crib with a muffled thud and rubbed his eyes with his little fists. Brooke leaned over the crib and picked him up out of instinct and bounced the sad little boy a little.
"It's okay," she cooed. "Shhh. Um rock a bye something on the tree top…"
The baby continued to whimper, big tears leaking from his eyes and then the door swung open and Lucas strode in and stopped, surprised to see Brooke there holding his son.
"Oh, he was crying so I came in," Brooke explained, trying to keep from dropping the now wriggling child. William had caught site of his father and now was reaching for him in such a way so as to make her drop him.
"Hey, hey, hey," Lucas cooed, scooping the baby up from Brooke's arms. He held his son out in front of him, laughing at the big tragic eyes William was staring at him with. "Hey there. None of that," he whispered. He kissed the baby's tear stained cheeks and cuddled him to his chest. William did the best he could at wrapping his short little arms around Lucas's broad shoulders, his tears turning into tired hiccups.
"Shhh, Daddy has you," he murmured, glancing around the room and spotting the diaper bag he needed. He sat down and unbuckled his overalls. "What do you think? Is it time for your jammies?"
Brooke couldn't wipe the smile off her face. "Jammies?" She asked teasingly.
"Hey I'm a stay at home dad of two kids under four," he said, wryly. "Gimmie a break."
"He looks like you," Brooke said, wincing at the obviousness of her statement. But Lucas threw a grin at her while he changed Will's diaper.
"Thank you. Some people say he looks like Peyt, but I think it's the curls that throw them off. I would think the nose would get everyone on my side," he said referring to their shared upturned noses.
"How did you know to come up here?" Brooke asked.
"I was actually coming to kiss Anna and Amalia goodnight, but I heard William over the monitor," He gestured to his hip where a baby monitor was clipped to his belt.
"Very undercover daddy," Brooke smiled. "I like it."
Lucas smiled at her and finished pulling William's piglet onesie on.
"Piglet? I would have thought with Broody as his father he'd have Eyore on."
Lucas picked William up and grinned. "We left that one at home. And I always had a soft spot for Piglet."
He sat down and cradled the baby in his arms and began reciting Faulkner to him. He stopped seeing the huge grin on Brooke's face. He shrugged. "He likes it."
"I'll bet he does," Brooke smiled softly back.
"How come you aren't downstairs with everyone? Peyton has been looking high and low for you."
"Oh…I just needed to get away for a bit. It's all sort of overwhelming."
Lucas nodded understandingly. "We're a rowdy lot, but I'm sure sitting here listening to me recite Faulkner's Go Down Moses from memory can't be any fun. I know you can't stand that stuff."
"What stuff?"
"Books." Ouch! Brooke's jaw dropped indignantly and she looked at him to find his eyes dancing at her.
"Still a jerk I see," she laughed, enjoying their banter. "No, this is actually kind of nice. Do you mind if I stay?"
Lucas shrugged, not wanting to seem perturbed. He treasured his alone time with his children. Peyton called him a baby hog, because although he spent all day with them at home he guarded the nightly rituals with them like a child protecting his favorite toy.
"If you want," he said, turning his eyes back down to his son.
He continued to recite to the baby who's one hand was playing with his curls, the other clutched Lucas's shirt. Lucas kept his steady, loving gaze on William who's eyes were, in turn captivated by his father's.
Seeing the obvious connection between father and son made Brooke's heart swell with happiness for Lucas and it made her fall in love with him just a little bit more. He was obviously the father to these children that he didn't have and craved growing up.
Eventually William's eyes slowly shut, the hands clutching shirt and hair loosening, and soon the baby was snoring noisily. Lucas grinned and smoothed away the curls in his son's face.
He needed a hair cut, but Lucas would wait for Peyton to bring it up. He loved his son's curls. And just as he couldn't keep his finger's out of the child's mother's hair so was it with his son.
Brooke began to feel uncomfortable, feeling like she was intruding on a moment between father and son. Lucas's gaze had not left his son, but he had stopped speaking, so now he just stared at his son and stroked his hair and rubbed his little back.
"I delivered him you know. And Anna too. The doctor told me to get down there and he had me hold them as they came out. I thought I was going to pass out both times," Lucas laughed.
"That must have been amazing," Brooke replied.
"It was. After Anna, Peyton was actually shocked I wanted to go anywhere near that region again," Lucas said, wryly. Brooke winced and Lucas found himself apologizing.
After a moment of awkward silence, Brooke spoke. "He-um called me mama a little while ago."
Lucas groaned lightly and blew out a puff of air. "Aw man, we though he was over this."
At her questioning glance he explained. "For awhile all men were dada and all women were mama to him. Nathan and Jake were dada, Skillz was dada. My mom and Haley were Mama. After awhile of coaxing he learned to distinguish Peyton and I from everyone else. Man is Peyton gonna be pissed," he muttered.
"Oh well, I don't know that he called me mama, per se. He said dada after."
"Ah. He was probably just calling for us then." Lucas stood and kissed the baby's brow and cheeks, before laying him in the crib Haley had set up for him.
"Goodnight my sweet boy," he whispered, before straightening up. He gestured for Brooke to follow him and they walked back out into the hall.
"I have to say goodnight to the girls," Lucas said, before walking to the room next door he tiptoed in and Brooke watched in awe as Lucas sat down on Anna's little bed. He smoothed her hair back gently and leaned down to kiss her forehead and cheeks. The little girls eyes fluttered open, being a light sleeper like her father.
"Daddy? Is it time fo breakfast?"
"No sweetie," Lucas chuckled. That kid was always ready to eat. "I just wanted to come say goodnight to you and wish you sweet dreams."
"I wore my shiwt all day," she giggled sleepily.
"You sure did, but let's not remind your mommy huh?"
"Kay. Is our secret, dadda," Anna whispered. She called him Dadda when she was very tired or in need of babying. Lucas smiled down at her fondly, her face so much like her mothers. He leaned down and kissed her forehead again.
"Good deal," he replied. "Get some sleep my sweet baby girl. I love you."
"Me too," she yawned, making him smile. It was her standard reply when anyone told her they loved her. Lucas got up and walked over to the other child bed where Amalia was sleeping. He leaned down and kissed her forehead and whispered goodnight to the sleeping toddler.
He walked back out of the room and closed the door, leaving it open a crack.
He smiled down at Brooke. "What?"
Brooke shook her head. "Just you…..I mean as a father," she added quickly. "You're so great at it and your kids seem to love you so much. I'm just happy for you."
Lucas smiled back, coloring slightly at the complement. "Thanks Brooke."
He cleared his throat and clapped his hands together lightly. "Ready to party?"
"Mmm. I think so." Brooke began walking ahead of him and he stopped her quickly.
"Brooke wait," Lucas called, grabbing hold of her wrist. Brooke looked back up at Lucas waiting. He took hold of her hand and looked into her eyes, flying her back to a time when those eyes were only for her.
"I'm truly sorry about you and Chase."
Brooke teared up for reasons not limited to her recent break up and asked,
"What's wrong with me Luke? Why do they always leave?"
Lucas sighed and then winced as Brooke took on his wife's former catch phrase and felt badly knowing that he was one of the leavers. With nothing to say, he pulled her into his arms, comfortingly.
"You were meant to be loved Brooke Davis, just like you were meant for great things."
Brooke savored the feel of being in his embrace once more and let herself pretend for a moment he was still hers.
When he pulled away a short moment later he looked down at her and made a sympathetic sound. He reached into his pocket, produced a napkin and handed it to her and it was only then that she realized she'd been crying.
"Oh geez," she muttered, wiping her face. "Look at me. I must look like a mess," she laughed self deprecatingly.
"Naw, you look beautiful," Lucas said kindly, shoving his hands casually into his pockets and smiling boyishly.
Brooke's heart did a back flip and she made a mental note to call Rachel.
They began to walk down the stairs and as Lucas casually threw an arm over her shoulders, oblivious to the turmoil within his ex-girlfriend, Brooke knew she had to get Rachel down her one way or another. She definitely couldn't do this. Especially not alone.