A/N: Sorry, this is an extremely short chapter! It's been a long time also. I had major writer's block! So, I did have this voting thing going and I didn't get any real solid suggestions so this is all I got! I really like this chapter and the characterization that it brings. Oh and btw when Derek talks in third person that is on purpose! Okay I'm obviously trying to keep this brief! Well, enjoy; sorry for any typos and all mistakes are my own! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! Thanks specifically to: Shortie91, Sevvy101, Joralie, princetongirl, myblackkitten, Ghostwriter, redrose08, American-Heart-101, jcool789, daseyfan2008, napd567, and Vickie06 for their amazing reviews! On with chapter 8!

Summary: Derek's estranged mother, is diagnosed with a rare, terminal disease and the doctors are giving her two weeks to live. With this Derek must deal with old emotions surfacing as well as old memories he'd like to forget. But, you know what they say, with all pain, there comes love. Dasey!

Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek

Life With Derek: Depths of Our Beings

Chapter Eight:

A Forever

After a loss people often refer to the "Five Stages of Grief": denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I've realized that for the last five or so years of my life I'd been stuck in the forth stage: depression. Acceptance for me was a far away feeling that I could see but couldn't hold within my grasp—it was intangible, a feeling but never and real thing. I wasn't an emotional child—aggressive but never emotional. Sure I'd seen shrinks—dozens of them actually, but they all said one thing: they never thought that I was emotionally stable to ever get over it. Well, there I was about to prove them wrong and I was actually on the brink of turning around and making sure that they were always going to be right.

"Oh!"

Both of us jumped three feet in the air.

Casey and I came face to face with a young nurse in her mid to late twenties, "Are you looking for Abby Venturi?"

I silently chuckled, she never changed her name back, "Yeah, actually we are; I'm her son."

"Oh, you must be Derek! She talks about you all the time! You really seem to be a nice young man."

I snorted; Casey elbowed me in the side, "Do you know where she is?"

She looked at me with stern eyes, "Oh Hun, I'm sorry but she's in surgery right now; if I knew you were coming we would have waited…"

I shuddered, "Well, thanks any…"

Casey cut me off, "Is she going to be alright?"

"I don't know sweetie," Wow this woman was into her pet names, "this is a last resort surgery, trying to extend her life a few more months at the most…"

"Why would she risk her last few weeks for a few months?" I questioned angrily.

"I'm not sure Hun, something about setting things right…"

I stared stunned.

"Well, why don't you two wait in the waiting area and I'll keep you updated. If you need anything just ask for Kerri!" She said leaving us alone.

"C'mon Der, let's go sit down," Casey said guiding me to the waiting area down the hall.

So there we were sitting in the most uncomfortable plastic chairs ever created, just waiting. Hospitals were in a way suffocating and sick; there you are sitting there in the presence of dozens of worried families waiting for news on their loved ones. And while you are busy worrying about someone you love you see a doctor come in and command the room and give people either good news or bad news. You in a way get to see a defining moment and many people's lives. It's scary, unnerving, and insane. Why should someone see a person's life crumble before them when he's worried about his own fucking mother! Even if she was a bitch; even if she basically killed his childhood. That's why hospitals were sick and that's why I had begun pacing in the waiting room.

I was making Casey extremely anxious, I could tell. She would glance where I was pacing, basically putting a hole in the floor. She was getting fed up I could tell.

"Derek!" She screeched, finally having enough, "Come sit down!"

I shrugged and made my way over to the vacant chair next to her.

"Why the hell are you so antsy?" she questioned.

I shrugged nonchalantly.

"Fuck! Just a few hours ago you couldn't help but delay this and now you're antsy to see her!"

I eyed her, "Yeah, but that's before; y'know when I knew she was alive…"

She pulled me into a hug, "Everything's going to be fine."

I pulled away suddenly, "How are you sure? How can you possibly be so sure?"

She sighed, "You just have to have faith some time…"

"Yeah, well I've lost faith a long time ago," I said simply.

She whipped her head around and eyed the cross hanging loosely around my neck, "Are you saying you don't believe in God?"

I snorted, "Yeah; I mean no. It's just if there is a God than he doesn't seem very fond of me."

Casey was taken aback, "Der, it isn't that God doesn't like you, its…"

I cut her off, "Save it, Case, I don't need another shrink; I don't need you to talk to me about my feelings or some other shit."

She gave me cross look, "Fuck Derek," I'd never heard her swear this much before, "I'm not trying to 'be your shrink' and any other shit like that. It's just you have to stop blaming yourself and others. What happened to you in the past is just that the past, and you have to stop blaming it on all your problems."

I erupted from the chair and began pacing, "What. The. Fuck. Case. How the fuck can you say that? You don't know any fucking thing. Stop being like this. Stop trying to make me think! You can't help! Stop fucking trying. I'm a godamned mess! Any fucking person can see that! I'm so fucking messed up!" I paused and gave her one last whisper, "Shut the hell up."

She exploded up as well, "Let me tell you something Derek; I know you think no one understands, but I'm trying, okay! I'm doing the best I can; this isn't my fault!"

I collapsed back in the chair, "Sorry, never mind."

She sighed and sat back down, "Listen, okay I know this is hard for you and it's just going to get harder. So, you just gotta grit your teeth and keep breathing. Just being here has made me proud you." She kissed me on the check, "You're actually being mature and brave."

I smiled, now this is why I kept her around! "Thanks, for everything."

She smiled this time kissing me on the lips.

And at that moment it seemed like nothing was wrong with me. I wasn't molested as a child. I didn't fail grade one. I wasn't in an extremely dysfunctional family. I hadn't testified against my own mother in a court of law. My mother wasn't on an operating room table fighting for her life. And at that moment I wasn't making out with my obnoxious, extremely organized step-sister. I was just a guy and she was just the girl that I loved.

Okay, well there it is Chapter 8! Finally! Whoa, I know that was short, but I hope you enjoyed. I also kind of wrote this in a moment of inspiration; so obviously there might be some typos...but I really wanted to get this posted! Sorry if I disappointed. As always I really hope you liked it. So, please click the little button below and make my day!

-chickenboyssuck