A/N: I'm back! I had such bad writer's block! I'm soooo sorry. I'm also sorry this is extremely short! Well, enjoy! Sorry again about the length. Thanks for all the reviews! I love getting them. I appreciate every single one. Thanks specifically to: wprincessannw, Ghostwriter, ChristinaAngel, Lanter, Leaf26, Joralie, princetongirl, jcool789, daseyfan2008, napd567, Shortie91, and Victoria Ackles for your amazing reviews! On with Chapter 9! All mistakes are my own!

Summary: Derek's estranged mother, is diagnosed with a rare, terminal disease and the doctors are giving her two weeks to live. With this Derek must deal with old emotions surfacing as well as old memories he'd like to forget. But, you know what they say, with all pain, there comes love. Dasey!

Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek

Life With Derek: Depths of Our Beings

Chapter Nine:

Black and White

Sometimes I think people are only afraid of the unknown—things like the dark, water, spiders, heights, and yes even death. But the thing is about the dark once you experience it, it's no longer frightening. Once you dive into a pool, you're no longer afraid of water. Once you pet a tarantula and live to tell the tale, you're no longer afraid of spiders. Once you tall an extremely tall ladder, you're no longer afraid of heights. It's the experience that expels the fear because one realizes that the thing that he or she was afraid of can't do anything to hurt them. So, I guess you could assume that having any near death experience would cause a person to be no longer afraid of death. But, you'd be wrong. See the thing is a near death experience is just that 'near death'. It isn't death. The only time one can actually say they no longer are afraid of death is when they can look death straight in the eye and say, "Hello".

"Fuck," I whispered to myself as Kerri, the nurse who Casey and I had spoken to before, let us in to see my mother.

"She's in a coma, but the doctor's say that she can still hear you," Kerri stated leaving Casey and I alone with her.

So, there I was facing the person who I'd wanted to tell off for more years than could remember. And I couldn't say anything. My feet were glued in place and my mouth hung open like I was attempting to catch a few thousand flies.

She lay there looking fragile and sickly not looking like the person who gave me nightmares. It was unnerving to think that she was an actual person and not just some monster from under my bed. Her face was an odd shade of eggshell white not unlike the wall color of a horrid model home, and her hair looked like an odd wig upon her head. I took in a big shaky breath and felt the bile rise in my throat.

I thought I could handle this but I was so very wrong, and it took all the strength I had to not turn and run screaming bloody murder out of the room. In a way I think it was easier when my memories didn't really have a face. My mother wasn't really a person she was just a sick monster. But now I was faced with the fact that she was indeed just like me—a person with feelings and needs—and of course health issues.

My head was spinning I was losing my breath—I couldn't take it. For years I had dreamt for this day. The day I would be stronger than her to kick her ass—to tell her off. But I couldn't—I wouldn't even if she was conscious. I hated her and standing in that hospital room feeling sorry for her just made my hatred run deeper into my veins than before. I would not shed anything for her—much less a tear. How dare anyone think I should!

"Let's just get out of here," I said turning to leave expecting Casey to follow.

I think she was surprised by my voice, "We just got here…"

I sighed, "Not really."

She rolled her eyes, "You know what I mean. We were just let into this room."

"I know," I nodded, "and now it's time to get home."

I could tell she disapproved but she didn't say anything; she just continued to follow me to my car.

"What's wrong?" she questioned as I pulled the car out of the parking garage, "I know this is hard but I don't understand what's going on in your head."

I sighed tapping my hand against the steering wheel anxiously, "It's fine; I saw her she's not dead—we're all good."

She raised an eyebrow, "You can tell me," she reached out to touch my arm in a soothing manner.

I pulled away fiercely, "Can't this just be over?"

"She's your mother…" she said beginning to get defensive.

"You don't understand! I feel nothing for that woman; she's just some monster who ruined my childhood. She means nothing to me dead or alive!" I shouted back.

We sat in silence for a few minutes I could tell she was cultivating a giant speech in her head, and I really didn't want to hear it.

"Y'know what I think?" she asked not waiting for me to answer, "I think that you do feel something for her. I think that's the problem. You want to just solely hate her—it would make life so much easier. But no matter what you say and no matter what she did she's still your mother and you still love her—but you can't."

I tried to suck in the stray tears that were disgorging from my eyes, "So what? So what if I feel bad that she's dying! How dare she make me feel bad for her! It just makes me hate her more!"

"Hello?" I asked lazily picking up my cell phone. It was three o'clock in the morning—who the hell was calling me?

"Hello, Derek Venturi?" a male voice asked at the other end of the line.

I straightened up, "This is."

"Ah. Yes, this is Dr. Mackey from the hospital that your mother is currently staying at…"

I raised an eyebrow, "How'd you get this number? Do you want me to get my dad?"

"No, no," he insisted hastily, "I got this number from your mother yesterday. She told me that you were the one she wanted me to call. I'm sorry to have to inform you this way but your mother passed away early this morning. I'm so sorry…" he said trailing off.

Wait, my mother had my number for God knows how long and never called me? What I thought... what? "Would you now like to talk to my father?" I asked surprised by the sound of my own voice.

"Yes. Thank you, son. I'm sorry I had to inform you like this at this hour but it was your mother's request. I hope you understand," he stated quietly.

"Yeah, I do," I responded my voice fading into the darkness of my room.

I slowly shuffled out of bed and down to my parent's room knocking on the door; after a few moments I heard a muffled voice stating to come in.

"Derek?" my father asked as he quickly rose from his bed and guided me over to sit down, "What's wrong?"

I shook my head quickly holding out my phone, "Nothing. It's the hospital; they need to talk to you."

He raised an eyebrow but immediately understood what I was talking about and pulled me into a hug.

Nora sat up after a while and stared at us as my father gently pried the phone from my hand, "Hello? Yes this is George Venturi," he paused as he listened to the voice on the other end, "Yes, her mother and father are both dead. But yes, I can contact her sister, Kathy," he again paused and sucked in a breath, "Yes, she had insurance it should cover everything. I'm not sure if she had a will. Thank you, doctor, for everything. Have a nice day," he responded hanging up the phone.

"Are you okay?" he asked as I leaned my shaky body against him.

"W—why did she want him to call me?" I asked in awe.

"I dunno, buddy. I really don't know," he responded trying to sooth me.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I could tell he didn't want to break the calm that had rushed over me. "Dad?" I questioned as my voice cracked.

He ruffled my hair, "Yeah, buddy?"

"What am I supposed to feel?" I asked quietly.

"I can't…" he began.

"Tell me what to feel!" I insisted hastily.

He turned to look me in the eye, "If I could Derek, I would make this all go away but I can't. No one else can tell you what to feel but you."

I choked out a sob, "But I don't want to feel this way. I'm so sick of feeling this way. I shouldn't have to feel this way."

He pulled me tightly into an embrace, "It's not fair, Derek, I know."

"I'm so sick of being in this rut…" I trailed off.

"We're going to get through this, Derek; I promise," he assured me.

"I don't know if we can this time, dad," I responded trying to calm myself down.

"You just have to have a little faith. You don't know how strong you are, son," he insisted gently.

Tears were know disgorging from my eyes in every direction, "I'm sick of having to be strong, dad. I can't handle this anymore."

He ran a hand through his hair trying to find the words to console me, "Believe me when I say this Derek: I know you can get through this."

I shook my head, "Why does everything always have to be so hard, dad? I just want things to be easy."

He looked me in the eye, "I'm sorry, Derek. I can't even begin to try to understand how you feel. I'm trying my best."

My entire body was racked with sobs, "Don't say that. Don't apologize—it's not your fault."

He ruffled my hair again at a loss for words. I could tell that he was confused on what to say—what to do.

"I love you, buddy," he said kissing my forehead as if I were a small child afraid of the dark.

I surprised myself by not pulling away from the affection, "I love you too, dad."

A/N: Awwwwwww. Lol, sorry about that. So really there wasn't really a confrontation and some of you may say that I copped out on your asses. But the more I really thought about I don't think Derek would be one to have like that kind of confrontation. So, this is how I saw it going down; some of you may disagree but I hope you're not disappointed! Never fear, there will be some unexpected more drama in the last chapter! Yeah, I know finally, right! Chapter ten!

Only I have a question for everyone. Kay, so I obviously planned this to be a classic 10 chapter story. I already know how I'm going to end it. However, someone pmed me and asked a very interesting question: what happened after the police came all those years ago? And I had never actually planned to answer that but it got me thinking and I have a cool flashback kind of chapter thought out. So, you guys have two options do you want me to finish the story as I originally planned or do you want me to add in the flashback and create an epilogue? It's entirely up to you guys! Just drop me a review with your thoughts! Thanks for reading! Please, review!

-chickenboyssuck