AN: Hey guys, sorry I didn't update for days, weeks, months and all, school has been a nightmare later month. They're making us revise for upcoming test for year nine, readying us for GCSE's. Those so called test are on the 18th of June until the 21st of June, and on that week Friday, I've got sports day, and I'm running 200 metres meaning training for my form Malone (crappiest team ever) to win :( lucky me. But anyway, just shower me with reviews and I'll be fine and dandy. Chapter 5 is going to be updated tomorrow :D Sorry again :)
Declaimer: iown nothing
Song: Here Comes Goodbye – Rascal Flatts
Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight
But here comes goodbye
Chapter 4
Here Comes Goodbye
"It's your fault why Bella left! It's your entire fault!"
When Harry Clearwater called Sam saying that Seth informed him about Bella running away, all hell broke loose. The pack quickly went to the Clearwaters' and saw Leah arguing with Seth, asking him what happened and where the hell Bella was. Poor innocent Seth looks so beat up – his eyes were red from all the crying, and Leah doesn't even know what she's doing to her brother. Sue and Harry were staring at their children in an expression I didn't understand, and I honestly didn't want to know. Sue, my second mother, looked so dead. She was sill crying, holding onto Harry, while Harry looked back and forth to his son and daughter. We stood by the door, me, Jake, Quil, Paul, Jared and Sam.
"Harry?" Sam called out.
All talking was silenced, and all heads turned, Leah's was the fastest.
Within a second, her shouting was back. "You!" She pointed at Sam. "You did this! You made her leave!"
What? This isn't Sam's fault. I stared at Leah, her eyes rimmed red, obviously from crying. Or was she drunk again?
"Leah Gabrielle Clearwater! You will not point fingers! Especially at Sam! He is trying-"
"It's not him I'm pointing at!" She shouted at her mother. "Right now, I don't give a damn about him! But it's not like he caused her pain, he's just there to ruin lives! The person – or rather people whose fault it is are them!" She turned her glare onto me, Quil and Jake. Then I knew that this was my fault, our fault. "It's their fault! They did this to Bella, you made her leave! Why couldn't you just leave her alone! You just had to show how happy you are without her, huh? How selfish can you get?"
"Leah, that's enough!" Seth whispered, eyes glistering.
"No! That's not enough!" She yelled back. "I mean, I get to be a bitch to her because she's my sister, because I know she loves me in some way, that she'll forgive everything time I do something bad because she knows how and what I feel. But you, you don't get the right to hurt her! You're her best friends! The people she loves! She will do anything for you, she would die for you! But either way, she did, didn't she? She just died when seeing you three happy sappy with Uley and his stupid cult!" At the end of her rant, Leah was shaking, like she was about to phase.
"Leah, please." Seth begged her, taking a step forward.
"Seth!" Harry warned.
Seth ignored his dad, and walked closer to Leah.
Paul and Jared took a step forward but Sam held his hand out, stopping them from moving.
Seth was now by Leah, holding her arm, comforting her. Then Leah collapsed on Seth, sobbing into his shoulder. Seth – at the age of fifteen was the same height as his sister, and Leah was only nineteen.
Seth whispered comforting words to Leah, holding her steady, cradling her so gently.
"It's okay Lee. She'll be home soon. I know it, she wouldn't leave like that, I know her." Seth whispered, though we can hear.
"I feel so bad Seth." Leah sobbed.
Seth rubbed her shoulder, a tear falling out of his eye onto his cheek.
"Bring her to her room, Seth; I'll be there in a moment." Sue said. Seth only nodded and brought his sister to her room.
Harry looked at us – me, Quil and Jacob.
"She made letters, it's in the kitchen." He told us.
I nodded and all but ran into the kitchen. Harry was right, there right on the kitchen counter was a letter with my name on it. I picked it up and opened it.
Hey Embry,
Wow, this sounds weird right? Like I don't know you anymore, and you don't know me. Maybe I don't know you anymore, maybe you're not my Embry anymore. Maybe I'm not your Bella anymore, like I'm not Jake's Bells or Quil's Hells Bells. Like there're not my Jake and Quil anymore. Wow, again, a lot of anymore in this letter. But still, I'm not yours anymore.
I know, this letter is confusing as hell, heck I am too, but all I've got to say to you is that I love you. No, not loved you, love you. Like really love with my whole heart. Like I'd die for you, you know jumping in front of a plane for you, I would go through all this pain for you – See, you even made me write the lyrics of Bruno Mars song, I never do that! Buy still, how sappy everything is, I would do anything for you. Absolutely anything for you!
I love you Embry. Maybe that's why I'm leaving. I can't handle the pain, the hurt that you, Jake and Quil brought me. I can't handle anything anymore. I seriously don't want to be a zombie and go crazy. I want to be back to normal, and I guess me leaving for the summer is good for me, to be back to myself. I'll miss you Embry. I love you Embry. I'll see you soon, but I don't know if I'll be the same. Heck, you changed and I'm semi alright with that, maybe me changing and leaving will do good for the both of us. I hope you have a summer without me Embry, but I know I will.
I'll always remember you, you know I will. I'll remember all the memories we had, us goofing around at the beach, at my house, or at school. I still remember what happened last week; I guess that was my only happy memory of you before you went to join Uley. You still remember that memory? When you said to some girl in school at lunch that you're not interested in her, that you don't go for blondes, only for brunettes, and you looked straight at me, smiling your goofy smile and secretly winked at me. Dang, you made me so happy that day, you made me feel like I was on cloud nine. It was like you said that you wanted me, no one else. Do you feel that way now, or is your answer a no? Did you even feel that way for me; like I feel that way for you, or do you even feel any way for me besides friendship? If not, it's cool; I mean I lost you anyway, what's the whole point in dreaming that you could feel anything else?
Anyway, I guess this was a goodbye letter, that you'll see me soon, but I won't be Bella Clearwater anymore, not your Bella Clearwater anyway. I'll be someone else, someone better. But right now I feel like a coward for not telling you this in person, but if I did, I would be crying and begging for you to love me again, begging for you to be my best friend again, to be my Embry again. Again, I am such a coward. But if I'm a coward, what are you then? Do you even know how much you hurt me Embry? How much pain I'm in? Do you understand how much I'm going through? No, probably not. I'll see you soon Embry, I just hope I won't fall for you again, because if I do, I know I'll end up getting hurt again.
Bella.
P.S. I wish you knew how much I loved you before you went off to Sam Uley. Maybe that would have changed everything.
I gripped the kitchen counter, angry at myself. She loved me? She loved me! Dammit she loved me. I ran out the house into the forest and phased. With that, I howled the pain that I have. She loved me. And I loved her. And I let her go. I let her go when I love her!