Themes: Rei
Uncertainty sometimes choking, always tickling. Byakko with high standards. Elders with fewer teeth and psychobabble, but higher standards. Leadership a gift, and curse, and sacrifice. Sacrificial feelings: aching to hide across the world among textbooks and dust.
More Deserving People, stifled complaints, smiles blotting out… versus Responsibilities. Graciousness and guilt upsetting scales already upset. Tough acts followed nonetheless. General failure. Somehow redemption. Jealousy over other people's mental breakdowns.
Nevertheless, the casual stride. Air cooled by morning rain. Deep breaths, steady. Inhale. Exhale. The jarring pressure of waterfalls, eyes shut, until you learn to smile under pressure. Deep breaths and blind learning. Bare feet and easy movement over sungold dirt. Invisible leashes only. Whipping hair, tanning skin, and warm rocks to collapse on.
Continued education among trees, among idolizing peers, against constant wind. Brush stroking love letters home, which is wherever isn't now.
Remember: aloneness and okayness at once. Dignity vomited by God onto kids on Hong Kong streets. Arrogant facades and predatory smirks still applicable. Past okayness and the closing of eyes still a reassurance versus that sacrificial whine.
Remember, eyes closed, breath easier: proficiency as teammate, in a dojo blue at night. Somewhere to hide. Someone to hide behind.