"House, MD" Speculative Fiction
Title: Beethoven's Damnation
Author: Aquarius Seth
Owner: David Shore
Disclaimers: Again, Mr. Shore, Fox and USA Networks, Heel-Toe, Z Shore and Bad Hat Harry Productions have all the rights. I'm just retaining my sanity for another day and I am making zilch in the form of money profits, thank you very much.
Rated R for AL, AC, V and SSC. BIG WARNING— Disturbing abusive scenes are in this piece and are mostly about House's punishments as a child under his parent care. [I swear I'll keep them short but they are still here so if it really gets under your skin PLEASE feel free to skip on ahead. If you are under age SEE YA!]
Word Count: 5,289
(Wilson, House)
Chapter Four: Death by Moonlight Sonata
When we finally arrived, I saw House visibly tense up as I parked in front of the house. Feeling completely helpless to ease his mind I kept the car running. I noticed the death grip he had on his cane but he opened the door.
"I can slid the key under the door House. We don't have to go in." I offered. Hell at that point I was willing to mail Blythe her key back.
"No. He's dead Wilson. He can't bother me anymore." I flinched at the rage in his tone. He didn't slam the door shut but I wished he had. I turned off the car and was surprised to see him waiting at the trunk of the car. "I need to get the bag in the trunk." Cold, precise. I shivered involuntarily and went to go open the trunk. He slid the DNA sample into his shaving kit bag and left it behind as he hauled his duffel bag out.
"House we don't have to…."
"Yes we do." Feeling at a lost I got my bag and closed the trunk of the car. I dutifully followed him up the stairs and waited a couple paces away as he studied the front door. "I never imagined I'd ever be back here this soon." He mumbled under his breath but slid the key into the lock. He exhaled slowly and opened the door. House hesitated ever so slightly and for a second I saw uncertainty cross his face. "Had my mother passed away first I would have never come back. I would have let him deal with everything in his efficient manner. Hell he would have packed her things up in alphabetical order and mailed them to my aunt within hours of her death. He would have left me completely out of the process. Not that he included me in anything, unless, he wanted something to hold over my mother's head." I swallowed nervously as I followed him inside through the threshold of his own hell.
"House he couldn't have been that bad." I offered trying to stop this tirade. I knew it had backfired when he dropped his bag and directed his furious gaze my way. He had clinched his fists and I could see his body trembling and straining with anger. He licked his lips and I flinched under his unwavering gaze.
"You didn't know the bastard did you? God, do you think he ever let my mom forget she got pregnant and screwed up his dreams of freedom? He was never at fault for the pregnancy-it was always her fault."
"Surely he never said that." I mumbled. I winced at House's bitter laughter and took a step back when his hand shot out and grabbed my wrist.
"Ah my naïve little Wonder Boy. Do you want to believe that everyone grew up in happy unbroken homes? Do you know the unbearable suffering that goes into making that scenario appear to be real?" His eyes narrowed and a vile smile crossed his lips. "Let me offer you the grand tour of the Garden of Eden!" Panicking I tried to stay in my spot but I stumbled along when he pulled me behind him.
"House please." I pleaded. With a firm cough he waved his cane in a sarcastic mockery of a magician showing the audience that there was nothing up his sleeves.
"There are so many glorious little stories to be told in this tour of House Manor but in the interest of time I'll only dwell on the highlights." He pointed at the stairs to the left of us. "We'll start there."
"House please, don't." I whispered feeling my stomach knot onto itself.
"Do you see the third stair there?" Unable to stop myself I looked. "That step and my ass became very well aquatinted when he shoved me down the steps during one of his drinking binges. I almost broke my nose on the foray on impact." I struggled to keep the shot of bile down as the image burst into my mind. "I was only seven at the time. Mom and I spent the night at the hospital until he was sober enough to go get us. The medical doctors didn't report it because he was their superior officer."
"House."
"Let's continue shall we?" He spun me around and dragged me back across the house. He stopped in the middle of the living room. "Many family bonding moments happened in here. He got home after being reprimanded by a superior officer and damn near took the skin off my thighs with his belt, after he got a phone call from one of my teachers wondering why he had forgotten to sign a permission slip for me to go to the zoo. I didn't have the heart to tell her he had lost himself in bars for that entire week. He thought I had forged his signature on it. Well at least that was the explanation he gave the school nurse after the teacher sent me to the nurse's office once she noticed how I couldn't sit down the next day. Again no reports, who could we report it to?" Tears stun at my eyes and I tried to hold them back. House glared at me and then dragged me to the window facing the street. "I spent an entire night standing here buck naked when I pissed in my pants one night." The hard edge in his voice was wavering and I tried my best to make this stop.
"Please stop…Greg there's nothing he can do to you now." I pleaded but it wasn't enough.
"Let's move on into the kitchen shall we?" I tried to stop him but he was not ready to stop yet. He did not pull me with as much force but I still followed. He flipped on the light switch and my eyes automatically shut to readjust to the light change. "I already told you how annoyed he got if I was late for dinner right?" I nodded hoping to avoid this section of hell-no such luck. I looked around at the cheery sunshine yellow paint and the white daisies that covered the wall. There was a sunflower clock on the far wall and a sturdy oak wood four-chair dining table in the center of the room. Only two salt and pepper shakers decorated the table. A stack of precisely folded napkins was waiting on the edge of the China cabinet, on the right side of the room-it seemed so odd to me. "When I was ten I made the mistake of mentioning to my mother that my mashed potatoes had gone cold. Like most kids it was out of my mouth before I could censor it. Within half a second of the last syllable escaping my lips he lunged across the table grabbed my tee shirt and shoved my head into the oven. The only reason he didn't turn it on was because he was threatening my mother that he would."
"God, why didn't she leave him?" I moaned.
"We were in Germany at the time. We were not allowed off base for any reason. He brought the stove with us as a keepsake." I choked on my next breath and just let the tears flow. I could no longer stop my body from shaking. I felt the trembling in his hands but he tightened his hold on me. I could swear I was going to have bruises around my neck and shoulders from how hard he was holding on to my shirt. "Let's go upstairs shall we?" Again the cordial host tone.
I stumbled along as we made our less than graceful way up the stairs. He stopped at the top and pointed to the room directly in front of us. "Parents' room, mine." He barked as he used his cane to point out the room right next to it. "Spare bedroom next to that. He kept his service revolver in there." I winced as he led me passed the master bedroom to his room. "He strung me up by the wrists with his belt to the shower curtain rod one night just to make my mother cry." He simply stated with a nod to the master bedroom.
He finally let me go right outside his bedroom door. I automatically wrapped my arms around my chest as if I could ward off the horror he was going to disclose to me next. He opened the bedroom door and stepped inside. I forced my suddenly numb feet to follow.
"Many Friday nights into Saturday mornings he would come home as drunk as skunk and stumble into their bedroom. If my mom tried to talk to him about his drinking, he'd tell her if she didn't like it she could take her whore ass and bastard kid and go fucking die for all he cared. He was feeding the 'little bastard' wasn't he?" The pain was undeniable in his whisper soft voice.
"Greg?" I pleaded needing physical contact. I reached for him but he pushed me away.
"I don't need your sympathy Wilson." The calculating host was back in charge but I wasn't going to let him hold on to that-not anymore.
"But I need yours." I whispered into his neck as I wrapped my arms around his narrow hips.
"Get your fucking hands off of me." He demanded and tried to break free. I actually thanked God for his leg because he was not able to get enough leverage to do it.
I managed to grasp the short ends of the hair at the back of his skull and turn his face far enough to the right for my lips to brush against his. He was shaking again. I moaned and pulled away ever so slightly.
I had screwed up. I kissed him at the wrong time. God only knows what's going on in his mind. He probably thinks I did it because I wanted to shut him up or worse-score some sort of twisted power play point. Before I could think of anything semi-language like- rationality was beyond my capabilities since the moment I walked into this house-the sound of the first scales of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata Opera 27 came through the open window.
I shivered and tried to take a step away from him.
He blindsided me when he pulled me back up and forced a brutal kiss on my trembling lips. His fingers dug into my triceps for a painful second before softening. I re-wrapped my arms around his waist and held on to him. I let my mouth fall open before I fully thought it through and I sighed into his mouth when his warm tongue slipped passed my numb lips and into my mouth.
I gasped but let my fingers wander up his back. The taunt muscles underneath began to slowly loosen up as my fingertips brushed across his skin. A delicious shiver of anticipation slowly made its way up my spine but I kept myself in check. I allowed my fingers to lightly brush against his neck. I wanted to let them wander back down but I was afraid he would push me away so I reveled in what he offered me.
I knew it was more than enough but I also knew I was starving for anything else he might want to share with me. I would not deny him a thing, not that I ever could deny him much of anything.
So I took the step back when he gave me a small push. I broke the kiss and tried to savor the last remnants of his taste with an even steady swipe of my tongue.
"Wilson?" The questioning lift in how he whispered my name had me snapping my gaze immediately to his face. I understood even expected the confusion in his eyes. I searched for any signs of anger but they were not there. Instead I watched as his blue eyes darkened in what I soon recognized as desire. I did the only thing I could do, I pulled him back into a loose embrace and kissed those luscious lips again.
My first thought was to push this for as long as I could but then I had an enlightened moment.
I could not direct this, nor did I really want to. He had to be the one to lead me on this strange new path. Suddenly I recalled myself telling him that I was the one in charge of our relationship after that patient with the blood thickening disease pointed me out as the dominate force between us. God knows I had proven that guy right. I had changed our relationship by dating Amber. I was the one that severed our friendship afterwards; I was the one that resurrected it, sort of. I was the only one that could talk him into rehab. Had he really wanted to he could have told me to go to hell once he woke up from the sedative Cuddy gave him yesterday.
I didn't want to be the alpha male anymore, not when it comes to sex. Never sex. When I realized that, I let out a pleading moan and nearly stopped breathing, when he pulled me tighter against him in a possessive manner. I stopped kissing him and let him take over. I moaned into his mouth and arched up into his torso even as he walked me back towards the bed.
As soon as my calves hit the mattress side I let my body go completely limp in his arms. He broke the kiss off and we both struggled to get our breathing back to normal.
"I have to ask, James did that moan mean what I thought it meant?" The vulnerability in his voice ripped at my heart.
"I'm only going to say this once House." I paused to swallow and to think out my phrasing carefully. "I have freely and willingly accepted the…." I had to stop the think of a word that was not as harsh sounding as "job" or "task." "Occasional vacancy as your resident conscious and morale reminder. I'm happy there. I don't want to be the one in charge of our lovemaking." He opened his mouth as to protest my choice of words but I cut him off. "Come on you and I both know no matter how raw our actions may get in and out of the sack, it will never just be sex between us. That's why you and I have danced around this part like damn ballerinas on fucking speed." I gently pushed him a step back and waited.
He had to be the one to change our relationship this time. He had to make the decision of becoming my lover or not. When he did not reach for me, I felt a sudden burst of pain in my chest but I kept my body completely relaxed.
God, he had just wanted to be comforted and had lost himself in the moment. I had jumped to an insane conclusion and just blurted out the most private desire I have ever had. Fuck. Way to go Jimmy-fucked this one up, big time.
Unable to come up with any sort of apology or words for that matter; I eased my way around him. I think I mumbled some sort of sound and headed towards the door. I was congratulating myself for not falling apart when I felt those callused fingertips grasp my wrist in a strong but breakable hold. I stopped but refused to turn towards him.
"Don't leave me alone here please." The pain and desperation in his voice had tremors shooting up and down my neck to my feet in mere milliseconds. Oh God, what the hell do I do now?
I forced myself to think. I had to slow whatever this was down. I had to fully understand what he was asking of me and I had to explain what I needed from him. I tugged lightly at my wrist and he let it go. He turned away from me as I looked out the window. He was now studying the opposite wall with all the fascination of a brand new puzzle.
"I won't lie to you and say I don't want to become your lover. I do. I've wanted it since the moment I met you. I thought the world was going to come to an end that day you jokingly suggested we take a weekend getaway in the mountains together."
"It wasn't a joke." He quickly inserted. "Why do you think I…?" He stopped and I glanced towards him. His eyes were still focused on that wall.
"You?" I offered when he did not finish his sentence.
"I acted like a complete spoiled brat when she came into the picture? I thought sharing you was going to be safe but it wasn't. I couldn't stand the idea of giving what was mine to her or anyone else for that matter."
"Yours?" I sighed softly as I mused over all the possibilities of the word. Giving myself completely over to him would give me the greatest adventure of my life. I knew he would never cheat on me or ever purposely hurt me, if he was not trying to score some pain medication. House was as loyal and protective as a golden retriever in every sense of the word. God we could be soul mates.
I was the only uncertainty in the equation. I was the only one with trust problems and he knows my track record with any of my relationships. I was the one that got needy and clingy. I was the one that would cheat on him if the situation and the opportunity presented itself.
I was the one that wasn't worthy of his love.
"I'm not worth it House. I'm a righteous philandering whore remember? You deserve so much better than me. You do this you're end up hating yourself because you settled. You know my track record. I get bored or angry and I'm on to the next possibility." I gently reminded him. I felt his eyes shift towards me and nearly cringed when they studied my body posture.
"Who do you think I am? I'm not a saint Wilson. I know I have a problem with vicodin. You know I want morphine, you know I'll do anything to get it. You know I'm an asshole and a vindictive jerk. You know how hard it is to even be my friend. I say things and do things that piss people off because I'm the stubborn jerk that always has to have my answers and my way. You know I'll do anything to get what I want. You know I'm just going to make your life more difficult soon enough.
"Yet you're trying to put me up on a pedestal? If I ever was an angel Wilson, my wings got singed off a very long time ago. I'm grateful I still pass as a mammal, human might be too high a goal for me." I winced at his confession but I was not going to let him believe that. Furious I walked back to him and forced him to face me.
"I never want to hear you say that ever again Gregory House. Do you understand me? Next time I'm just going to knock your teeth out got it?" My voice was low and steady and I held onto him in the first firm hold I had managed to pull off all day. When he finally nodded I leaned in and firmly pressed my lips onto his in a reassuring kiss.
My heart nearly leaped into my throat when he wrapped his arms around my ribs and slowly slid down to my waist. I felt the subtle shift in his demeanor and I had to finish what I was planning on saying before I got myself distracted. I inhaled a short painful breath but forced myself to speak. "You are the most human person I know House. It doesn't matter that sometimes I think you're inhumane but you more human than I am. You give your trust unconditionally, you love unconditionally, you live without apologies or regrets-you're as innocent as a child in places where I'm as jaded as an old man near death. Please believe me when I tell you I love you. I do. I love you with all I am. It might not be much but it's there for you." I whispered as I felt him begin to tremble in my arms. I held on as tight as I could as I rested my cheek on his right collarbone.
"You know you deserve a whole man." He muttered and that was it. I inhaled a furious breath and spun him around. He fell backwards onto the bed and I stumbled along with him. I landed on his thigh and he gasped in genuine pain. I purposely rested all of my body weight on his thigh. He inhaled sharply and tried to push me off of him. I caught his chin and squeezed enough for him to focus on me.
"Is there some reason you're not a man?" I asked. He closed his eyes and turned to his left to avoid me. "Answer me! If you're not a man you're the most manliest woman I have ever known, Butch." I squeezed his chin again and waited for an answer.
"You deserve a lover that can take his time with you, if you're asking me to become your lover." His voice was low and painfully honest.
"I see. So I should go find some hooker to take my innocence?" I stated. He focused those blue eyes on me and I saw nothing but tormented sorrow on his face.
"You've never…?"
"No. I have gotten and given oral sex to some guy in college. I took him-he never took me. I was thinking about trying out that curiosity after I got divorced the first time. Then I met you. I was a goner the first time I saw you. I knew if I was going to try anal sex with a guy, it was going to be you or I'd die curious." My voice started off in a strong lecturing tone and I realized I was whispering at the end of it.
I could not begin to categorize the myriad of emotions I saw cross his face. In a span of milliseconds I saw House's vast array of emotions, emotions that he never allows the world to see. I eased off his leg and began pushing myself off of him.
"I'm sorry House. I'm so sorry. I'll get you some water." I shifted my body weight to my right side and had begun to roll that way when his arms locked around me. I held still and waited.
"Do you love me?" He asked. I looked into his eyes and caught my first view of a terrified Gregory.
"I love you, I always have and there's a great possibility I'll die loving you. I'd bet money on it." I stated in a firm calm evenly spaced confident tone. He sighed and surprised me by rolling on top of me. I shifted underneath him and groaned in appreciation when he let his body weight rest entirely on top of me. It felt so right.
I opened my mouth to say something about that but when I saw the serenity on his face I knew he had reached the same conclusion I had. I smiled gently at him as he shifted just enough to make me shut my eyes and moan.
"God I hope I don't screw this up." I heard him pray right before I felt his lips on mine again. I offered God my own prayer as I opened my mouth for his warm tongue.
When his tongue slid down my own tongue I moaned and tightened my hold around him. His tongue massaged mine before it dipped into the crevice of my jaw underneath my tongue. I moaned but eased my tongue into his mouth in a hope it would give him more room. I felt his moan against my lips before I actually heard it, as he pulled his tongue back.
My hands clenched around the back of his skull hoping to keep him still. I sighed in appreciation when I felt his tongue rub up against the inside of my teeth. I let my hold relax as he moaned and sank more into the kiss.
I felt a scalding drop of water travel down the side of my right eye and felt it get lost in my hair. I vaguely wondered if that was a tear, if it was, whose was it? I soon lost track of any thought I might have had when House broke off the kiss and began to kiss my throat.
I let my head flop to my left as he tried to get to the skin that covered the back of my neck and upper shoulder blade. I heard him moan in appreciation and gasped as I felt him suck the skin into his mouth even through my shirt. I felt his tongue flick over the center of the skin he had picked out, for a few seconds before he let go ever so briefly. Before I could do anything he had lowered his head again and began sucking firmly at the skin. So firmly it actually hurt but I was not going to push him away. I wanted to be marked his. I pressed at his neck to let him know it was fine by me.
His scent was wonderfully pleasant as I drew in deep breaths of it while he worked on giving me a hickey. I could feel my blood rushing towards that one patch of skin as the pain started to spread up my neck and down my shoulder. I heard one of us moaning and it took me a while to figure out it was me. I felt my dick stir and harden as he managed to arouse me with one simple kiss. If it was not for my suddenly demanding body I would have died a happy man just like that.
However, I moaned in pain when he shifted above me. He let go of the skin that had demanded his full attention and shifted back enough to look at me. I saw a faint smile cross his lips.
"I guess you're ready to move on?" Unable to speak I nodded. "I guess I'll have to come back to that spot in a bit." I opened my mouth to protest but he laid his fingertips against my lips. "I have plenty of other places to explore. I'm terribly curious what it will take for you come for me." I gasped as my eyes automatically shut and I arched my hips into his body. "But first things first. Let's get rid of some of these obstacles." He muttered as he lazily dragged his fingers to the shirt buttons blocking his process. I shivered and loosened my hold on him as I felt his fingertips start working the shirt buttons free.
"May I?" I muttered into his collarbone as I lightly brushed my fingers down his neck to his shirt buttons. He sat up onto my thighs as I opened my eyes and reached up for his buttons. He was focused on my shirt and had begun to pull the tail end of it free from my slacks. I cursed softly as my hands began to shake in anticipation. He stopped and looked up at me. A lazy smile spread across his lips.
"I guess you really do want this huh?" That smug tone had my eyes shutting again and my torso bowing itself into his hands. "I'll finish undressing you in a few moments." I heard his husky voice promise as I felt his fingers slid down my stomach to my fly. I gasped and caught his nimble fingers. "What?" He asked with a slightly breathless tone. I felt my face flush as I tried to gain control of my irregular breathing. "Oh I know what you want." He whispered gently as I felt him move steadily back up my chest. He paused briefly to nip at my nipples before he pressed his tongue against the right side of my neck. I shivered as he firmly licked his way back up to my chin. I drew a short ragged breath only a second or two before his mouth settled back over mine.
I moaned in appreciation as he swept my tongue to the side and continued to explore my mouth. My fingers interlaced themselves behind the base of his skull as his fingers moved defiantly back down to my hips. I felt my hips lift themselves off the bed and I groaned aloud when he pressed them back onto the mattress.
My body cliched in anticipation-when I heard the sound of my zipper being unzipped. House's kiss became more demanding and effectively distracted me from what his hands were doing. I was not aware of him peeling open my pants I only felt his fingertips as they brushed across my boxers to find the slit. I broke off the kiss and held on to him as hard as I could as I waited for his fingers to work their way through the material.
"You are extraordinary you know that right?" He whispered against my lips a half breath before his fingertips touched my straining erection. Only half of my sob was heard because he kissed me again. I moaned into his mouth and my hands went nuts trying to find something to hold onto as my equilibrium disappeared. "Hush, I've got you." He promised as he let his palm rest firmly against my penis. When he began to wrap his fingers around me I suddenly realized I was about to come.
My body jerked itself into a sitting position while I tried to tell him to stop. He hushed me once again and whispered 'please' against my mouth. I gasped as I came.
For what felt like a lifetime I was lost in the sweet haze of aftermath of my orgasm. I did not feel him remove his hand from me. I just felt him tilt me slightly to my left side. Unable to think about anything I rolled over as he directed. I felt him shift enough for him to be laying partially over me. I snuggled back into him and tugged him a little more over me until we found a comfortable spot.
"I need to return the favor after I take a small nap." I muttered into the pillow.
"There's no rush. I'm not going anywhere." He whispered and I drifted off to sleep.
To Be Continued.