Peyton sat in a chair across from the coffee bar staring moodily out the window. Lucas was talking with his mother in hushed tones and from the sounds of it, the talk wasn't going very well. The looks Lucas kept throwing her way didn't look very promising either.

Haley edged her way over to Peyton's table. They were the only ones in the café save a few students studying. They were all lower classmen. Most of the seniors were still sleeping off their prom night. Haley had seen only half the excitement outside; the kissing. She only assumed that was the least exciting thing that happened, considering she knew Brooke and Rachel had left a few minutes before.

"So who won?" Haley asked sitting down across from Peyton.

"I don't think anyone did. It's over. Brooke and I are done for good. She couldn't ever forgive me for what I did to her." Peyton stopped to get control of her emotions. She was free to be with Lucas, but…it didn't seem right.

"He loves me, Haley. He told me he loves me and I love him so much, but…how can this work if I feel so shitty. I feel like fifty million horrible things should happen to me, like there's a hex on me."

"Peyton, there's no hex on you. Yeah, this didn't happen the way you thought it would but-"

"Haley, I didn't think this would happen at all. I didn't plan on telling him how I felt last night and I certainly didn't plan on him reacting the way he did. It's all-it's tainted and I don't want it to be this way. God, I love him so much, but it's not supposed to be this way. Look at the way Karen is looking at him, Haley. She looks so mad and disappointed. That's his mom, Haley. This is-this is all my fault."

"Peyton, this isn't you-"

"Yes. It is." Peyton stood and looked at Lucas and Karen who were still talking heatedly. "Tell him I had to go."

"Peyton, what are you doing?"

"I…" Peyton shook her head. "I don't know."

"You threw it all away, for what-"

"Mom, I am in love with her. How many different ways do I have to say it? I didn't mean to hurt Brooke. I didn't! I know I messed up, but-"

"I thought I raised you better than this. I thought Keith did a better job with you than this!"
"Don't! Don't you use him against me mom. That's not fair! You know that's not fair!"

"Twice Luke!"

"I know what I did mom, but….I can't," Lucas looked towards the door when it jingled and realized the same instant that Peyton was gone. He looked at Haley, who shrugged her shoulders. "I have to go."

"Lucas, we aren't finished."

"Okay, I'll finish for you. You're ashamed of me, Keith would be ashamed of me and I'm an embarrassment. A Scott, through and through. How's that. Was that what you needed to say?" At the look Karen gave him he shook his head and left.

Lucas found Peyton at the beach. She was sitting with her knees drawn up to her chest and her head down. He sat down beside her, watching her back heave. She was crying and he felt a knot, cold and heavy settle itself in his stomach.

"It wasn't supposed to happen this way," Peyton whispered through tears. Lucas's heart broke for her and he recognized the feeling in his stomach for what it was. The cold feeling of loss. She was leaving him and he knew it in her posture and the sound of her voice, she was giving up.

"Peyton," his voice was a weak appeal. She couldn't walk away from him now. Not now after everything, after what he'd given up to be with her.

"I love you, Peyton," This only made her cry harder. She began to shake her head.

"I-" Peyton looked up at him, her face awash with tears, her eyes pleading with him to make it all better. Lucas smoothed his hand over her cheek, wiping away her tears and then pressed his lips to the places his hands were.

"I love you Peyton." He repeated his declaration, not knowing what it could possibly fix. He'd never felt more useless in his entire life. What good was his love when all it did was hurt everyone around him? Brooke, his mother, Peyton.

"I wish I could make this right for us," he whispered. He was choked up, knowing that by the end of the day he and Peyton would never be the same.

"You asked me once, if the danger was part of it, our attraction. It wasn't then and it isn't now. You're always saving me Luke and maybe that's just us. We're tragic when we get so close. When we're together everything seems to be wrong. But, when I pictured us together, Luke I never pictured it wrong-we-" Peyton looked at Lucas, her eyes clear for the first time that day.

"What we had was beautiful and right and it never hurt anyone. We didn't have anything hanging us up, no Brooke and no issues, just us together enjoying each other and it didn't feel wrong or sordid. We could finally have it, that beautiful love that I imagine we have."

"Peyton, we do have that."
"No! We don't, Luke! You know we don't. This is the second time we've hurt Brooke like this, this is the cosmos telling us that we aren't meant to be together!" Even as she said it Lucas shook his head vehemently.

"NO! I refuse to believe that Peyton. I won't. I love you and I've loved you since the first time I really got to know you and…I refuse to believe that what I feel in my heart is so wrong. God, Peyton I'm no superman. I'm so far from perfect it's insane, but you can't tell me that after everything, you would walk away for penance."

"It's not just that Lucas. You know I love you. And I've loved you for just as long, but when you kiss me you can't tell me that you don't feel guilty."

Lucas shook his head. He felt like Tristan and Peyton was his Isolt. No matter what he did he could never stay away from her, no matter who got hurt, they could never stay apart. But the thing about those lovers and all the lovers that followed them, is that they were never truly able to be together in the end. This couldn't be their end.

"Peyton I'll kiss you until that feeling passes, and I'll kiss you until everything you dreamed we'd be comes true for you. I would do anything for you Peyton. Anything."

Peyton looked over at him and then nodded and stood. Lucas followed suit and grabbed her hand.

"I'm glad you said that Lucas, because….I need you to walk away."

Lucas's brows knitted. "No Peyton. No."

"Please Lucas. I'm not strong enough to do it! God, if we did this I would be unhappy Luke and I know you don't want that for me. I know you don't want me to be unhappy."

"Peyton this isn't fair!"

"I'm sure Brooke is saying the same thing. I need to square my karma Luke. We both do and if that means we can't be together, then-"

"I need to be with you."

"No-Lucas you don't. If you really needed to be with me, you would have been with me, not Brooke."

"Is this what this is about," Lucas cried, beginning to feel himself loosing control. "My fucking things up for us two years ago?"

"No, Lucas. This is about-Love is a choice you make, not just that feeling in your heart. I left Jake and I chose to love you even if we couldn't be together."

"But-we can-"

"No, Lucas we can't. Not now. Not like this."

"Do you not believe that I love you?" Lucas asked, tears finally cascading down his cheeks.

Peyton shook her head, tears leaking out of her eyes at the sight of Lucas crying. How were they breaking up before they were even together?

"I know you love me very much Lucas, but-" Lucas had turned away and raked his hands through his hair. Peyton grabbed him by his bicep and turned him around.

"What does this mean? No more late night singing fests? No more of my best friend?"

Peyton shook her head.

"What am I supposed to do without you Peyt?" Lucas asked so forlornly that Peyton nearly lost control. All she could think was 'What am I supposed to do without you'. Instead she said,

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She threw herself into his arms and Lucas held onto her for dear life.

"Will we find our way back Peyton? If we do this-If I have to do this I have to know we'll find our way back."

"I hope so, Luke," Peyton murmured, tearfully into his shoulder; her safe place. Lucas pulled away slightly to look into her face. This was far too hard. He found himself gearing himself up for another argument, but as much as it pained him to see her like this, he knew he couldn't if it meant she would be unhappy. A light had gone out in her when Brooke found out about their second betrayal and no matter how much Peyton wanted this, she would punish herself…because that was Peyton Sawyer. Tragic heroine and fucking martyr till the end. Lucas knew this, because he knew Peyton Sawyer.

He knew her like no one else and after finally admitting it to himself, knew that he loved her like no one else that came before and anyone who would come after. Just as he knew tears were wet and pain did hurt, he knew there was no other woman in this world for him. And this was just too fucking hard. He rested his forehead against hers and sighed deeply. He cupped her cheeks with the palms of his hands and looked up into her eyes…those green eyes. This was not easy for her either. He saw the pain and he saw the love and he saw the desire. He knew that he should just walk away now, instead of prolonging their agony, but it had been a semi clean break the first time around and he needed her to know this time that although he was doing as she asked, he was by no means giving up on her.

"Can I?" He whispered, staring into her eyes. "Just once more before I walk away?" Peyton nodded and Lucas's lips crashed into hers in a kiss so passionate passers by blushed and looked away.

"I don't know how to let you go," Lucas whispered into her mouth. His lips clasped onto hers, his arms encircled her and held on tightly.

Peyton wanted to give in. To just say the hell with it and get on with what she and Lucas started years ago. She wanted to be with him more than anything in the entire world and if she couldn't have it just then, she wanted him to know it and feel it, before they went their separate ways.

"Come home with me," Peyton blurted. Lucas looked at her, with eyes that were both confused and hopeful. "Just once before you walk away Luke." Peyton said, echoing his own words before she began to cry again and Lucas pressed his lips to her face and picked her up and walked her back to his car.

When they arrived at Peyton's house they slowly walked the stairs to her room, her hand securely in his. When they got to their destination they just stood there looking at each other, both knowing this was the end of a chapter in their lives and the beginning of something neither of them were willing to face yet; a life without the other. Lucas reached out and stroked her cheek.

"It's funny," he said, his eyes betraying his words. They were sad and full of desire. "Us breaking up before we even got to be together."

Peyton said nothing. She walked into his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on tight.

"I love you," Lucas whispered. Peyton didn't know how much crying she could take that day, but never the less the tears came. She pulled back and Lucas framed her face with his hands and rested his forehead against hers, their noses touching.

"God, I am so in love with you," Peyton cried. Lucas slipped her jacket off, his eyes staring into hers.

"Just once," Lucas whispered, tilting his head to brush his lips lightly across hers.

"Just once," Peyton replied, before their lips met again in a searing kiss. Peyton, pushed off his jacket while Lucas's hands slid underneath her shirt and moved up to pull her shirt off. His shirt followed as he backed her into the bed.

Lucas covered Peyton's body with his own and their lips crashed together in slow, sweet desperation. His tongue forced its way into her waiting mouth and they wrapped their arms around each other, trying to hold onto the feeling of the other's body pressed against themselves.

"Tell me you love me, Lucas," Peyton whimpered, as his hands dipped underneath her skirt.

"I love you Peyton. I love you. Oh god I love you so much," Lucas murmured between heated kisses, all the while looking straight into her eyes. Peyton unbuttoned his jeans, and then reached into the front of his pants to rub his pulsing erection. Lucas hissed and rolled them over so Peyton was on top and pulled her face down to his own for another kiss.

Everything about their touches, their first coupling was desperate and heated. Lucas hated that it had to be like this. He hated it, but he couldn't bare the fact that he would lose her after this, so he held onto her like she was the last good thing in the world, like she was his world.

"Promise me we'll find our way back, Peyton," Lucas pleaded once again as they shed the rest of their clothing.

"We'll find our way back, Luke," Peyton gasped, as Lucas' arm grazed her nipple.

"Look at me. Look at me Peyt." Lucas was balanced over her body, his erection straining towards her, his whole body was singing and weeping all at the same time.

"Tell me," his voice had lowered and was strained by his body's powerful response to Peyton's. "Tell me this journey will lead us back to each other." His last word came out choked, as he felt the sting of tears behind his eyes.

"We will find our way back Luke," Peyton replied softly, her hands sliding up his toned and muscular body to rest on his cheeks. "We have to because I don't know how to be without you." Peyton shook her head, causing the tears that had been swimming in her eyes to fall. She was at a loss for any other way to say how she needed him. "I just…don't."

Lucas nodded, not trusting himself to speak at that moment past the huge lump in his throat. He took the opportunity to memorize the way her face looked at that moment. He took in the beauty and the pain and the want and swallowed them up.

"I love you Peyton. I need you to know that and hold onto that for me. Know that I love you and don't ever let that go, Peyton. Okay?"

"I won't," Peyton murmured, before reaching up to kiss him softly. Lucas deepened the kiss slanting his mouth over hers and thrusting his tongue into her mouth. He lowered his body to hers, shivering, feeling her chest press against his.

"God I miss you already," Lucas whispered into her lips, tightening his arms around her waist.

"Oh Luke," Peyton whispered, her voice thick with tears. Lucas caught her lips with his own and for the next few moments they focused on the business of kissing and touching and loving each other's bodies. Everything else literally disappeared in their minds.

Lucas was so aware of her, he felt her under his skin and inside his body. The feeling made him shiver in ecstasy and in an overwhelming pain he refused to visit at this moment. He couldn't go there, not when he had his whole world writhing beneath him, touching him, making love to him. There was no world outside this room and all that mattered, all that existed to Lucas at that moment was the young woman wrapped around him. Peyton felt the same way.

She was lost in a sea of blue, the smoldering sea blue of his eyes locked steadily on her face as his finger slipped inside of her, his thumb rubbing her into oblivion. At that moment she didn't care about how Brooke felt or how Lucas's mother felt or even her own guilt. None of that could matter now, because she would loose him soon and she wanted to remember the feeling of fire his touch left on and inside her body.

"Lucas," Peyton moaned, shifting her hips, reminding Lucas of his baser desires. "I need you…now."

Lucas groaned and obligingly plunged into her. They both cried out, not ready for the feelings their coupling brought. And it was so good. It was every good and perfect thing in the world from the beginning of time to the nth power. It was hot and sweaty and electrifying passion. It was grasping hands, searching lips for hot open mouthed kisses, it was grinding hips, entwining arms and legs, it was tears of blind and intense ecstasy. And the screaming…again and again and again.

Afterwards Lucas lay with Peyton sleeping in his arms, much the same way they woke that same morning when Lucas wished they'd been wearing less. He pressed his nose to her hair, inhaling her scent, her essence, the way they smelled together.

He could almost pretend that when he left her tonight he'd be able to be back the next day and the next, that they could just be together with out having to wait, to pay this price for the pain their love caused.

And I am paying the price, Lucas thought. Lucas leaned down and pressed a kiss to Peyton's eyes and cheeks, but unlike that morning he did kiss her mouth, careful not to wake her, he ran his tongue across her lips gently and sipped at her lips, memorizing their taste and the way they felt against his mouth. Peyton's lips moved against his even while she slept. Tears fell down his face and he wiped them away.

He had to go now. If he didn't go now and Peyton woke, he wouldn't be able to walk away, not now that he knew what it was like to be inside her body…her soul.

Choking back a sob, he disentangled himself from Peyton and pressed another kiss to her forehead. Silently he wrote her the letter that he didn't leave that morning, he wrote her his heart and hoped it would be something for her to hold onto until they could finally be together.

He left the note on her nightstand and took a deep breath. As he exhaled he stared at the girl laying in the bed; the girl he loved so damn much it scared him; the girl he was about to walk away from. How did it all go so wrong so quickly, he thought.

"I'm gonna find my way back to you beautiful," he whispered. "I promise."

He didn't touch her. If he put his hands on her again he'd start crying and he'd beg her to give them a chance. But, he didn't want Peyton unhappy and he knew that she would be if they went forward. It was the last thing he wanted so he left, putting one foot in front of the other as quickly as he could…and he kept going.

He walked past his house, past his mother's restaurant, past Tree Hill high school, past Tric, past the Rivercourt, past the bridge to the river where he first spoke to Peyton.

Why are you a cheerleader? No offense or anything, but you're about the least cheery person I know.

He dropped himself in the grass, looking out over the river. He'd opened his heart and had taken a good hard look at it today and found Peyton there as she'd always been. A love he'd given up on all too soon. He'd given up on them and for that alone he felt he deserved all the pain he was feeling at that moment.

He thought he was paying his penance with Brooke, fighting to get her back, twice and putting Peyton out of his mind, but he only ended up hurting them all. All because he was too much of a coward to listen to his heart. He couldn't help thinking that if he'd done so before, Keith would still be alive. He would have never let Peyton out of his sight that day and Keith wouldn't have had to come in after them. He suddenly saw his love for Peyton as his mother saw it. If he hadn't gone in after Peyton…

Lucas shook his head. "I deserve this," he whispered. He did blame himself, but how could he believe that what he felt for Peyton was wrong or tainted? How could he believe that the love they had made earlier that had brought them to tears was wrong? How could her touch and his instant reaction to it be wrong? Peyton felt guilty, she felt like she had to suffer, but in truth it was all him. It was his love that was toxic. It was him who left her deserted and alone, taking his love away from her to give to Brooke, only to find that what he'd offered Brooke was lukewarm leftovers.

He deserved this hurt.

So, at the end of the second day that began with so much confusion, rose and climaxed with the realization of love and quickly plummeted to cold loneliness, he broke open what was left of his heart once more and let himself sob.