Little Wonders - Rob Thomas

"Nice, Potter." I said to him as I passed him in the Great Hall that same evening for dinner.

He looked up from his dinner with a mischievous grin. "Remus told you, then?"

"Yep." I said, not even meeting his eye as I turned the corner and left. I half-hoped he would follow me, but of course, he didn't. I sighed to myself, knowing well how desperate I was being.

"What a prat." Marlene scoffed from behind me, as we walked up the stairs. I frowned.

"Well, it was just a joke." I defended him, in a 'as casual as I could' voice. I didn't turn around to gauge her reaction to this; I just kept walking up the steps.

"Aren't you a little angry that he did that? I mean, you're always talking about how arrogant he is." Jane said. Marlene agreed, watching me carefully as they walked to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

Careful not to show anything in my face, I shrugged as noncahalantly as I could. "It was just Potter, being as annoying as usual. Now, can we get off the topic of Potter please?"

Marlene and Jane seemed satisfied with this answer for now, and so they left the topic of Potter. I was relieved; I wasn't sure how much longer I would have to pretend to hate James like I had before. I could only hope that he would soon show Jane and Marlene the nice guy he had shown me, and then I would be able to say that I liked Potter.

It should happen any day now...

It didn't happen in the next few days.

It didn't happen in the next few weeks.

I was beginning to become impatient. Meanwhile, every bloody time he passed me in the corridors or in class, he'd wink at me and flip his hair, causing my friends to scoff, and me to smile to myself; knowing it was all an act. But I would scoff along with my friends, so they would never know.

I decided to take matters into my own hands that day in June. After all, fourth year was almost over, we only had about two weeks left of school. Might as well do it now or regret not doing it for the whole summer.

"Potter!" I hissed as he and his friends passed me in the library that Wednesday evening.

"Oh, hello Evans. Looking awfully bright today." He commented, nodding to the pile of books I had on the table.

"Er, can I talk to you for just a mo'?" I asked politely, feeling my cheeks burning. He probably thought a was a huge nerd, what with all those books I had on my table. James nodded and turned to his friends.

"Catch up with you later, lads." He told them. They nodded and walked off in the direction of the exit. James pulled up a chair and sat beside me. "What can I do you for?" He asked, in a bored voice.

"Don't use that tone with me, Potter." I said, slightly on edge that he had stopped acting warmly towards me and was now talking to me in his usual arrogant manner. I didn't like it one bit.

"Sorry Mum."

I scowled. "Thought I told you to quit it. It's me, you don't have to be cool around me." I smiled warmly, expecting a smile back, maybe even a flirtatious nudge or something.

It was his turn to scowl at me now. "What are you on about?" Looking at me like I had gone mad, and he didn't want to be seen with a mental patient.

The smile dropped from my face at his tone. "Your act. You may be fooling everyone else in Hogwarts, but you're not fooling me. I saw you in Charms when you offered to help me study."

He laughed a forced, hard laugh. "You mean when I pranked you? That was an act." He said, probably not knowing how hurtful his words were. I felt my face getting hot, but ignored it.

"So the whole time you were just acting." I said, my eyes boring into his to find the answer I really wanted. He stared back at me with roguish eyes.

"Of course." He answered. Short, sweet, and to the point. No dawdling with this boy, not with Lily Evans at least, the un-cool, ginger girl.

"So you didn't want to help me study." I confirmed. I needed to know. My heart ached for at least some revelation through this whole mess.

He yawned, pushing his chair back and leaning on the back two legs of it. He teetered on the edge, as I watched him with a mixture of admiration, curiosity, and hatred. I was having very mixed emotions at this point.

I watched as he looked to the desk, letting go from it and kicking his legs up in the air. I gasped loudly, reaching to help him, as he teetered on practically nothing, but he jumped off the chair with an easy leap, standing up. I looked up to him, now feeling stupid for being scared for him in the first place.

"Worried about me?" He said into my ear, bending down so his messy tangles could tickle my forehead. I scowled at him, and retorted the only thing I could think of.

"You wish." I said, saying it as mean as I could. His teasing grin faltered for a second, seeing that I no longer was going to chuckle, or grin back when he teased me. I was angry and hurt, knowing that this whole thing had just been a game for him.

He stepped back from me without breaking eye contact. "I'll go now." He said shortly.

"Yeah, you should." I said, glowering at him. For God's sake I couldn't wrap my head around this whole thing, why was a resorting to hatred? I didn't want to be mean, but he just made me feel so weak, and so hurt that it made me so angry!

And so I watched him through slit eyes as he finally broke my gaze and turned around to saunter (with his usual arrogant swagger) out of the library, catching a girl's eye on the way out. I didn't see what he did but I didn't miss the small giggle the Ravenclaw gave, or the flirtatious wave.

I gritted my teeth together, feeling my face get hot. I just wanted to get away, I felt so stupid. So I packed up my things and left the library, choosing to spend this beautiful day outside instead.

As I searched for my friends, I saw Sirius, Remus and Peter walking alongside the tide of the Lake. I saw Sirius push Peter in with a loud guffaw, and Peter emerged, spitting water into Sirius' face. Remus was rolling on the grass, laughing.

"Looking for someone?" A painfully familiar voice said from behind me. I won't lie; I jumped several feet in the air. "Skittish, aren't you?" He leaned against the tree, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Never you mind." I said quickly, wiping at an invisible spot on my jumper for a lack of something better to do with my fidgety hands.

"What are you rubbing at?" He asked, cocking his head to one side. My heart fluttered as his eyebrows drew together in the cutest way possible.

I tugged my shirt down. "A spot."

"I don't see any spot." He remarked.

"That's because I fixed it." I told him shrewdly. "And as for you, what've you been doing, spying on me?" I demanded, eyes narrowed.

He put his hands in the air defensively. "I just came to hang out with my mates, it's you who's been doing the spying on them." He lowered his voice an octave. "D'you like one of the lads? You can tell me, I've got a mouth like a trap." He said, zipping his lips together for effect.

I rolled my eyes, ignoring the question I couldn't bear to answer. "I'll be going then." I said, passing by him, trying to be cool and collected. Let him know that he wouldn't always be the one to end a conversation of ours.

"Wait, Evans." He said as I passed, grabbing my elbow. I looked down at my slender arm, wrapped in his rough hands, and almost sighed. God, I needed to learn some self-control. I looked up to his eyes, and noticed that they weren't in fact, brown. I had always just assumed they were, but in this beautiful sunny lighting, and with his face just a couple inches from mine, it was so obvious now, that they were really hazel. A very pretty hazel, actually.

"What?" I snapped after the painfully long silence. He let go of my arm as though it had burned him.

"Never mind." He muttered lamely, turning around to go catch up with his friends. I touched absentmindedly the spot where he was grabbed me, and closed my eyes in reminisce.

Then I remembered something.

"Wait, Potter!" I yelled after him. I saw him stop in his tracks, then just continue going. I widened my eyes in anger, knowing he had heard me, but decided to pretend he hadn't.

That jerk. That arrogant little slime ball! If he didn't need me, I didn't need him.

Only, I thought as I watched him jog to catch up to his friends. I did need him. I wished he hadn't walked away, so that we could've kept talking. It's like every time we have a conversation, my mind goes blank and my heart beats faster. I lose control, but I like it.

I did need Potter.

But he sure as hell couldn't know that.

So I watched him leave with narrowed eyes, continuing to pretend that I hated him. Why? Because I'm smart like that, that's why. And if he thought I hated him, he—or anyone else for that matter—would never know that I actually liked him. And I was keeping it that way.