She has been awake for quite some time. His chest pressed against her back, his arm snug tightly around her waist, and she tries to move but decides against it. It's safer this way, no talking, no awkward moments when the actions of last night rush back into their minds. She will just let him take over, he is better at these things.

She thinks of a time long ago, long before he took a permanent place somewhere dangerously close to her heart. Young, careless, drunk just enough, she lead and he followed, right into her bedroom and as it turned out her life. Tomorrow morning she pretended to sleep for what seemed like hours waiting for him to sneak out and leave. It didn't take her by surprise when he stayed, he had that good guy thing written all over him even the night before, she just never imagined he would stay this long.

Lily smiles. He moves just an inch and instantly she stiffens interrupting her thoughts, and just when she thinks it's safe again, she feels a soft kiss against the nape of her neck. Every muscle in her body slowly relaxes and she snuggles back into him some more. Great. He is not in for a conversation either, she thinks and turns around to face him.

"I can't believe you're here."

A misjudgment of hers, of course, to think that he would ever want to not talk about something.

"Shhhh…"

Her index finger lingers over his lips, her own form a curved line. She drags it down and leans in and the curved line evaporates into a moan or something soft she doesn't quite recognize. Something new and scary, in a good way. New Lily, she idealizes later, even though it's far from the truth because she's always been there buried deep under who she though she should be in her forties. He shift till his weight is above her, and they do what they always did best. Explain everything in complete silence.

"Did you think I was going to sneak out?" – she laughs after, debates whether she should tell him about the first morning after they shared but decides against it.

"No, I mean yes, I mean i did thought about it but I knew you wouldn't. I just can't believe you're here."

"So you've said Humphrey."

"Funny. I mean here, with me. In my life in general, not just this bed. Not that I'm complaining."

"Good" - she snuggles closer, hides her face in between his shoulder and his neck kissing him lazy - "cause you don't get much of a say."

"Never did get Lil'."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic, it didn't take you too long to move on after I left." She leaves out the " left you", to soften the heaviness this might bring. She just left, it makes a vague difference if she states that she left him, and all they've built together, traded a piece of herself to just make it back into his arms years down the road. Lily was never an optimist and it's a lovely surprise to her now, to find herself snuggled against him. It must be luck. Dumb luck. She was too much of a realist to ever consider terms soul mates and destiny but this is as closest as she will ever get she thought.

"Ouch."

The air changes, it's almost suffocating for a second but he flashes a smile, bright and honest and she is calm again. She is not going anywhere this time. Doesn't say it out loud but it screams inside her whole body. Everything in its own time. She shifts her head a little and leaves a trail of kisses down to his chest, unmistakably close to where his heartbeat is strongest, a sort of unspoken apology. Rufus smiles.