Had you asked Varric five years ago if he could see himself as a father he would have laughed at you. The Maker however has a very odd sense of humour. Varric still dealt in information and stories, but now he had to take care of a little girl. In all honesty this isn't hard for Varric. He has always looked out for people. He made sure Merill got food, didn't get lost in Lowtown and even paid thugs not to ambush her. He made sure that Anders clinic kept running by paying or discouraging the various gangs in the undercity for taking protection money. He in return got a lot of material for his stories and people still ask to hear them after all these years. Taking care of his little Shadow was different however. It was harder, but more rewarding. Her imagination rivalled even his own and it had given him material enough for a lifetime of stories. Going down to the bar to get some dinner for himself and Lea, he took a look around and wondered if Aveline was right. Drunken men, whores and bar fights wasn't normally what you want a child exposed to. Then again nothing about Lea was normal. He went back to his suite with three plates of stew.
"Dinner is ready. Are you two coming?"
Lea came out of the room her dark hair braided with little pearls tied into it. Isabela stood right behind her and gave Varric a smile. It was good that Isabela bothered to spend some time with Lea when she was in Kirkwall. Varric didn't know if Isabela was the best female role model, but there was no one else to fulfil that role.
"Don't I look pretty?"
"Shadow, even the empress of Orlais would be jealous of you. Now eat."
"Varric, you should take more time to admire her. Women need that you know." Isabela smiled.
At that moment the door opened and a hooded person entered. He was obviously tense and looked out of the door examining if anyone had seen him enter before he closed the door. Lea jumped up and ran to him.
"Fenris!"
Fenris removed his hood and lifted her up. He couldn't help but smile as her big green eyes lit up.
"And to what do we owe this pleasure, broody?"
"Or what pleasure may we perform?" Isabela winked.
Fenris sat Lea down on the floor and looked into her eyes with a serious gaze.
"Lea I need you to go into your room and choose one of you stuffed animals. We are going on a trip. Remember you can only bring one."
Lea nodded and then went to her room. Varric and Isabela both looked at Fenris with a worried look. Varric felt fear pumping through him. This was no ordinary fear. This was worse than encountering a High Dragon.
"What is going on, elf?"
"I was called to Stark Haven last week. Anders has escaped from the templars and now Sebastian is looking for revenge."
"Does he know about Lea? I thought only the three of us, Bethany and Aveline knew." Isabela replied.
"I don't know, but he was willing to find out if Hawke was alive in order to use her against him. If he finds out that Anders has a daughter, I have no doubt that he will use her in any way he can."
"As if the poor girl wasn't cursed enough already. Honestly, her mother is gone and her father is tranquil."
"Not to mention the taint in her blood. I swear her nightmares, gives me the chills." Varric replied.
"We need to get her out of the Free Marches before he catches on." Fenris grumbled.
"We can't risk taking my ship. It is undergoing major repairs."
"Then we will have to take her on the road. I suggest we take her to Nevarra and then decide where to go from there."
"I'll get Bianca ready and we will leave immediately."
-OOO-
He turned the handle and when the door opened his heart fluttered. She had let it stay open for him. He then walked up the stairs of a grand house he didn't recognize. He went to the door and could feel butterflies in his stomach. There she was leaning against the bed wearing nothing, but a white nightgown with no sleeves. It was clinging to her body revealing every curve. Her eyes glimmered as she looked at him. Those beautiful emeralds that revealed all the kindness her soul possessed.
"You're here. I wasn't sure you would come."
"Justice does not approve of my obsession with you. He believes you're a distraction. It is one of the few things where he and I disagree."
"Then I will just have to change his mind, won't I. If you hadn't come I would have searched all of Kirkwall for you."
"When I was in the circle, love was only a game. It gave the templars to much power if there was something you couldn't stand to lose. It would kill me to lose you."
"You aren't going to lose me."
"No mage I know has ever dared to fall in love. This is the rule I will most cherish breaking."
He kissed her softly and slowly. Savouring it until the last possible moment. She gently pulled back from the kiss and took his hand as she gently pulled him with her back onto the bed. Leaning his weight on one side he bend over her as he kissed her again. He could feel her fingers running through his hair. Anders gently lifted her nightgown as his hand ran up her leg, past her knee and gently up her thigh where he held onto it. She laid her head back and gave a sigh of pleasure. Her fingers opened his coat and then the buckles on his tunic. Those nimble fingers could open anything with ease. He had yearned for them to touch him for three years. Her fingers toyed with the feathers on his coat before she gently pushed it of his shoulders. He kissed her neck and smiled as he heard her gasp. His hand kept caressing her thigh as she ran her fingers under his shirt. His hand went further up her body and he felt his pulse quickening as her felt the curves of her body. Marian must have felt it to because at that moment her kisses became deeper and more passionate. She pushed him up and straddled him while pushing of his tunic. He lifted the nightgown over her head and his hands ran up her back as she shivered. She then removed his shirt and started to kiss his neck. As she went further down his chest she pushed him gently back onto the bed. She teased him by gently moving her tongue over his skin as she kissed him. He could feel her hips resting on his lower body and all of his blood ran downwards almost giving him a sensation of agony. Three years of aching for her and now she was so close to him. He slightly lifted his hips towards her to give himself some relief. She gave a gasp as she felt him. When she smiled at him he couldn't take it any longer. That smile and those eyes could make him do anything without a moments doubt or hesitation. He flipped her over so she was placed beneath and she laughed. She immediately started to open his pants and as they came loose one of her hands slipped inside caressing him. He closed his eyes and gasped at the sensation. He didn't want her to stop, but at the same time he wanted so much more.
Fortunately he didn't have to choose as she began to push his trousers of him. He pushed his boots off with his feet and then stood up to remove his trousers completely. He then kissed the inside of her one leg every few centimetres while his hand ran up the other leg conjuring a little electrical current. When he came to where her legs met he on purpose avoided to touch her where she wanted him to. He smiled as she gasped. Her eyes closed enjoying every little touch. He kissed his way up her body, gently moving his tongue over her nipples before kissing his way up to her neck and then finally claiming her lips once more. She stroked his neck with one hand while the other slowly went down his body. He gasped as she finally reached his length. Leaning on one elbow his other hand went between her thighs where he continued to tease her until she was moments from release. He then finally entered her as his movements became more...
Anders woke up and looked up. He realised that he was hard. Part of him was cursing the fact that he had woken up at that moment, another part was relieved. He looked around. They had found an old ruin to camp in so the tent wasn't used. The others were still asleep around the fire. "Thank the Maker!" In some ways he was afraid of sleep. Terrified of all the memories and the regret they brought with them. Sometimes he wished that he would fall asleep and never wake up. In his dreams she was still with him. Would she keep haunting him like this forever? He turned over and decided to try and sleep again not knowing if he wished to dream of her or not.
"I should have trusted you. Even with all we have shared I never thought you would spare my life. If we live through this you know I will be haunted. No one in Kirkwall will offer me mercy, but if you would join me. I would rather be on the run with you than safe with anyone else."
"I have always been hunted, love. You might be hunted because of what you are, but I have always been hunted because of who I love. You are right. The world needs to see that the circle is an injustice. I want to be at your side when the world finally changes."
"We will fight for a world where our children can be born mages and free."
Everything shifted and he could see Marian lying in a bed screaming. Then the dream shifted again and he was sitting beside her in the bed holding a little newborn child. "Leandra".
Anders sat up. He had a daughter. He could remember holding her little hand. How he held her close to him while trying to make her fall asleep. He could remember every little detail about her. The dark hair on her head, her little green eyes looking up at him even her date of birth and the birthmark on the right side of her stomach. They had named her Leandra after Marian's mother. Fear struck his heart. She was four years old now. What had happened to her? Did the templars catch her when they captured him? But one question beat all of them. He stood up and went to Bethany's bedroll shook her awake. The others looked awoke and looked at him as he growled.
"Why didn't you tell me I have a daughter?"
"You have a daughter?" Susanne gasped.
"You remember?" Bethany asked, very shaken by the abrupt awakening. There was a light in her eyes as she gave him a hopeful look.
"What have the templars done to her?" Anders demanded as his voice croaked still holding her shoulders.
"She is safe, Anders. Lea is with a friend. The templars doesn't even know she exists."
Anders sighed with relief and then sat back down as a single tear fell from his eyes. Bethany stroked his back and softly asked.
"What else do you remember?"
"Not much. I remember Leandra clearly, but everything else is still a blur. I have to see her. Take care of her. I am all she has left." More importantly "She is all I have left."
Bethany removed her hand from his shoulder and looked disappointed. Hurt even.
"I understand, Anders. But we need to get to the ashes first then I will take you to her. If you are going to take care of her you need the ashes as much as she does."
Anders looked at her and understood immediately what she meant. She knew of the taint in his blood and of course it would be in Lea's as well. She was right of course. It was more important now than ever that he was cured of the taint. But how did she know? As if sensing his question she answered.
"You told me. Lea wasn't with you when you got captured. After you were made tranquil she was send to your most trusted friend, knowing he would look after her. You will see her again I promise."
Susanna looked at Anders. Now it made sense why they had to erase his memory in order to make him submit. Tranquil or not the responsibility of a child was important. A tranquil might not have emotions, but they still had a sense of duty. That was why they were often thought of as useful by the templars. They preformed their duties without question. But the duty to a child who had no family had to be greater than even those assigned by a templar. Anders probably also knew what would happen if the templars found his daughter, so he had most likely not informed them of it. Maybe that was why they had removed so much of his memory. They had thought Marian was the reason for his uncooperative behaviour, but it was in fact his daughter. Why else would he have tried to escape?
Bethany lay back down. She would try to sleep knowing that it would not happen.
"I am sorry."
"It is not your fault."
"I wish there was something I could do."
"You have already done so much."
"I wish I could do more to comfort you. That I could give you more than just words."
"You are comforting me. You are the only one who has kept me strong these past years."
"I am here for you, whatever you need."