AUTHOR'S NOTE: You are now reading a parody of Super Mario Sunshine, written in play-style. For instance, when somebody speaks, their name will be written in bold beside what they're saying. If something happens, it will be written in italic. So I hope that clears up things for you. Enjoy, and try not to laugh too hard.

--

Peach, Mario, Toadsworth, and a handful of Toads are in Peach's personal jet flying to Isle Delfino. A TV screen comes to life and begins telling them about tropical Isle Delfino...

Pianta: Welcome to tropical Isle Delfino, an island filled with sunshine!

A bug flies onto the camera

Pianta: And we, um, will welcome, uh...Johnson, will you take care of that bug!?

Cameraman: Sorry!

The Cameraman squashes the bug, leaving a gooey mess

Pianta: Eew! You're ruining our video!

Cameraman: Shut up! Just continue while I clean up the camera!

Pianta: Ahem...in this wonderful paradise, you can find a 4-Star hotel--

Other Pianta: 3-Star.

Pianta: What?

Other Pianta: Leaky bathrooms.

Pianta: Um...you'll also find an excellent amusement park, and succulent seafood!

Mario gets hearts in his eyes and moans happily

Pianta: Well, actually, it tastes like crap.

Camera changes to a Pianta turning green and clutching his throat at a seafood restaurant. Mario's moaning stops instantly

Pianta: Well, that aside, you'll have tons of fun here in our peaceful island!

An all-out war breaks loose. Piantas punch each other, Pianta children forcefully bury each other in the sand, and a shark eats a dolphin in the water far away. Peach watches all this strangely. All the while, a shadowy Mario-like figure is bouncing around in the background. It trips and knocks its head on a very spiky Durian. A high-pitched shriek is heard as the video pauses. The shriek pauses, too, filling the jet with sound that could make milk curdle

Peach: Mario...?

A mushroom salad Mario is eating bursts into fire and shrivels up. Mario is too concerned with covering his ears to care.

--

The jet eventually lands in Isle Delfino, but swerves out of the way to avoid a goopy mess. Mario and the crew get outside the plane and look at the mess

Toadsworth: I am most concerned with the well-being of the princess in this dreadful heat! Master Mario, if you would, cross over to the other side and find some assistance!

Mario: Why can't you do it?

Toadsworth: Because I am old and you are young, that's why!

Mario: You mean you're too lazy to.

Toadsworth: I am not!

Mario: Yeah, real concerned.

Peach: Alright, stop arguing and just get over there!

Mario reluctantly walks forward. He turns to Toadsworth and mouths the words, "This isn't finished." On the other side, he finds what other than a mysterious mechanical device

FLUDD: Security systems activating.

Mario: Huh?

Mario is sprayed with so much water, it blasts him into the wall behind him. He walks forward slowly, holding his hand in front of him, until he touches FLUDD

FLUDD: Security systems deactivated. You must be a customer. I am FLUDD, a Fake Lying Unuseful Dumb Dud. I am pleased to meet you.

Mario: If you had any teeth, you'd be lying through them.

FLUDD: Correct. Let me instruct you on how to use me. To spray water, press the R button.

Mario: What's the R button?

FLUDD: If you hold it all the way down, you can stop and shoot.

Mario: Hold what down?

FLUDD: Press X to switch to the Hover Nozzle.

Mario: For goodness' sakes, what is the X button!?

FLUDD: If you run out of water, you can hold R while in deep water to refill the tanks.

Mario: What's the R button!? Or any button, for that matter?

FLUDD: Instructions complete. Get out, you moron.

Mario: Gosh, you really ARE unuseful. Well, I guess I found some assistance. Let me clean that goop up.

Mario sprays water into the goop, and it turns into a goopy Piranha Plant. It opens and closes its mouth periodically.

FLUDD: Try spraying water into its mouth to hurt it.

Mario: How 'bout no?

Mario pulls out a four-month-old raisin found in his shoe and throws it into the Piranha Plant's mouth. It shrivels up and dies instantly.

FLUDD: That was disgusting.

Mario: You're disgusting. Hey, look, a shiny thingy! I'm gonna get it!

Toad: Hey, look! Someone's coming!

Two Pianta policemen stomp forward in sync with one another. One accidentally trips a little and goes out of sync. The other one slaps him in the back of the head. Mario is taken to court, where a court session takes place...

Judge: Court is now in session!

Pianta: Mario is guilty.

Judge: Court adjourned!

Mario: Hey, wait a minute! What is this!?

In the jail cell, FLUDD begins to talk to Mario

FLUDD: This is quite a predicament, Mario.

Mario: You don't say.

FLUDD: Island analysis confirms that the Piantas indeed are in distress. We must clean up the island and stop it from becoming any dirtier. The perpetrator is likely at work even as we speak. Mario, you witnessed this object at the airstrip, did you not?

Mario: What object?

FLUDD: What are you, stupid? It is a Shine Sprite.

Mario: Well, pardon me for not reading your mind!

FLUDD: I have no mind. Only a moron would have assumed so.

Mario: Continue!!

FLUDD: The Shine Sprites once gathered together in great numbers at the Shine Gate, but since the graffiti and goop incident, they have all fled. We must get them back. The Piantas will bow toward us and erect great statues in our honor. And we will rule the world.

Mario: I like that idea. When do we get out of here?

--

Pianta Policeman: Okay, your first job is to get rid of all that ugliness.

Mario: Okay. Step out of the camera.

Pianta Policeman: What...?

Mario: You asked me to get rid of all that ugliness.

Pianta Policeman: Why, you pig-bellied, fat-nosed, ungrateful--

Other Pianta Policeman: Dude, just, like, give it a rest, yo. You gotta clean up the mess, Mario-dude.

Mario: I like you.

Other Pianta Policeman: The feeling's, like, mutual, dude.

Pianta Policeman: Alright, shut up! Get to work!