Since they had no idea how Phillip and Anders would react to taking the ashes, they decided to head for the inn at Redcliff. There they could rent a room for each of them and they could get the rest they needed. Susanna had gotten her own horse since Marian wanted to share with Anders. Susanna could understand why they wanted to be so close to each other. So many years apart, but they still loved each other as strongly as the day they were separated. As Marian sat behind Anders she wrapped her arms around him. She never wanted to lose him again, if she did, she would break for certain. With one hand he took her hand and lifted it to his lips. He was not letting her go again. They reached Redcliff late in the evening. It was raining, so thankfully the innkeeper didn't ask too many questions since he figured they wanted to get dry as soon as possible and they were quickly shown to their rooms. Anders kept his hood up. He was embarrassed and uncomfortable with the scar on his forehead. Not to mention the looks people would give him. This must have been how Fenris felt every day of his life. A scar placed upon him a constant reminder of what had been done to him.
Marian had food brought up to their room and while eating their dinner they decided that Phillip and Anders would take the ashes in the morning. Susanna and Phillip said goodnight first and went to their own room. Oran insisted to stay and hear more about their adventures in Kirkwall. Marian politely told him what he wished to know, unless it was personal, which most of it was. She did it in the hope that it would help Anders to get some context between his memories and it seemed to work.
Oran finally went to his own room and Marian locked the door behind him. Anders got up behind her kissing her neck and holding her hips with his hands. As his tongue gently teased her neck she began to moan with pleasure. Four years without him and she had almost forgotten how his touches made her feel.
"I have missed you so much. I have been dreaming about nothing, but feeling your touch again for four long years." She gasped.
"I can't believe you waited for me. You could have had a normal life by now."
Another memory surfaced.
Anders was putting on his clothes looking at her standing by the fire. He couldn't believe that she was finally his. He had tried to warn her so many times that he had lost count, but he was so grateful that she didn't heed his warnings. He wondered how long it would last. The templars were becoming more vigilant in searching for apostates in Darktown. It would only be a matter of time. Unless... He stood up and walked towards her, gently kissing her neck before she turned around.
"I love you. I have been holding back from saying that. You should have a normal life. Not be tied down to a fugitive with no future, but I don't ever want to leave you."
"I love you. Don't ever leave."
"Do you mean that? Would you have me here... living with you? Would you tell the world, the knight-commander, that you love an apostate and will stand beside him?"
"I want you right here... until the day we die."
"For three years I have lain awake every night aching for you. I'm still terrified I'll wake up."
He held her close while kissing her cheek.
Suddenly he could feel the ache that he had felt through those three years as if it was occurring at that very moment. She must have felt something similar these past years. His body was aching and longing for her even as she was right in front of him. He turned her around and pushed her against the door kissing her passionately. She moaned as she returned it with equal passion. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. All the pain she had been hiding for four years was surfacing. He put both his hand on her cheeks and removed the tears with his thumbs as he continued to kiss her. Marian put her arms around his neck and made sounds that were something in between sobbing and moaning. She started to shiver from all the emotions she was feeling. Guilt, anger, pain, sadness, desire, happiness and she were in turmoil. It made her feel helpless and unable to take any action on her own. As the emotions overwhelmed her she felt her legs failing, but Anders quickly lifted her and carried her to the bed. He gently removed her clothes as she shivered nervously. Passion was spreading through his veins like a blazing fire, but he needed to go slowly. Her mental state made her fragile so she needed him to be loving and caring. He wanted to be gentle and take it slowly. He wanted it to last as long as possible. He removed his own clothes and lay down on his side next to her as she was lying on her back. He placed the weight of his body on elbow and let the hand stroke her soft dark hair. His other hand stroked her body gently, but firmly to calm all the shivers she was feeling. She started to cry again, but without making any sound. He put his lips to hers and kissed her, letting her gently suck his lower lip between the kisses. He let a little healing magic flow from his hand to soothe her. She had so many scars he didn't know of. When he had healed her in Kirkwall she almost never got a scar from it, but for years she had been on her own and had probably not received any healing. Thank the Maker for all the times she helped him in his clinic. At least he had taught her to make basic salves and potions that could help her. Her left arm went under him and started to stroke his back, as the right hand held his neck while she moved her fingers through his hair. He could feel her slowly calming and started to move his hand to her breast gently massaging it. He had no words to explain how she made him feel. Nothing he could say would do this hold she had on him justice. He began nibbling her neck in the way he knew would make her moan and gasp with pleasure. His hand went from her breast and down to the inside of her thigh. She moaned while closing her eyes and tightened the grip on his hair as she arched her body. When his hand reached her centre she started gasping his name and pulled him close to her. As she gave into her released she hugged him tightly and for that moment he felt complete bliss.
"I love you, Anders. I am afraid that if I open my eyes you won't really be here."
"I am right here, love. Don't be afraid to look at me."
She slowly opened her eyes and looked into his kind warm brown eyes. As he smiled Anders lifted himself on top of her. His one hand held the back of her thigh gently pushing it up towards her stomach. He held his gaze into her eyes as he entered her and made slow thrust into her. He kissed her as he whispered sweet words of love between them.
"You are so kind... loving... beautiful... and I don't deserve you."
"I give my love to you freely. You never ever have to do anything to deserve it. My heart belongs to you... it always did."
As she threw her head back while gasping and then arched her back. He intensified his thrusts. As she once again felt the pleasure of release it triggered his own. He kissed her deeply before lifting himself of her and rested against the headboard. She pulled the sheet over them before she rested her head against his chest. Her leg and arm wrapped around him. He held her close and kissed her hair while taking in that sweet scent of vanilla. In his arms she was cured from her own tranquillity, which for so many years had made her feel heart cold and loveless.
-OOO-
They were in Alyssa's office going over the decree regarding mages that would be presented at the next lands meet. Thankfully a lot of nobles had magic somewhere in their bloodline, which made this task easier. The fact that Alyssa, The Hero of Ferelden, was mage had also helped matters. The only ones who had openly objected to the Ferelden circle getting their autonomy was the chantry. Because of the templars, who represented the chantry, behaviour over the past years they were regarded with almost as much suspicion as the mages. Then there was of course the business between Ferelden and Orlais. The Divine was after all seated in Orlais and some had feared that Orlais would use the chantry against Ferelden, with the hope of regain their lost province. For that reason people were also hoping that the mages freedom would help Ferelden against Orlais. Since the templars had been so reluctant to let mages join the battle at Ostagar it was most nobles hope, that the circle could be more relied upon in the future. For better or worse however the civil war in Orlais had weakened them and the threat of war between the two nations seemed less likely. When it became public knowledge that the Divine herself had helped the mages in Val Royeaux, those who were for the chantrys control was forced to review their opinion on mages. This first decree was merely a formality that would make public what had already been established. Mages were no longer to be contained in a circle. The following decrees would be a different matter. They would establish how to deal with the training of mages, establish how they could best reintegrated into society and an entire knew legal system had to be applied for mages. King Alistair wanted to make a separate order to deal with criminal mages that was not controlled by the chantry, but the royal leader and the lands meet. In addition it was important that mages would be seen performing public duties in order to overcome a thousand years of prejudice. Some had already been recruited into the guard and army. Bethany had been at soldier's peak for two days and was going over the last page of the decree with Alyssa.
"... and it is our hope to open a large clinic in Denerim. "
"I must say, Bethany, you are really acceding in your role as royal advisor. This is excellent work."
"Thank you. I am one of the few mages to have experienced both being in a circle and being free for an extended period of time. It has given me a good perspective, if I may say so myself."
"That you certainly may. I bet listening to Anders' ranting helped to. He talked about it constantly in Amaranthine... not that I minded though." She smiled.
"True... poor Anders... Have you heard from my sister?"
"Not yet, but I am sure she is safe. No news is good news as far as rescue plans go."
"I hope you are right... By the way his Majesty has requested your presence during the lands meet. He hopes you will remind the nobles how much mages have helped Ferelden during the last decade."
"Will the burden of being The Hero of Ferelden never end?" She noted sarcastically as she smiled.
"Probably not. But to be honest I think the King also used it as an excuse to get you to Denerim. I think he misses you."
"I miss him to."
Bethany walked over to the window and looked down at the boys enjoying their training.
"Those boys grow so fast... If they continue like this they will be ten feet tall."
"Hopefully not. I have trouble disciplining them enough as it is. Seriously, not even Shale gave me this much trouble." She giggled.
"I am sure they will be a credit to their parents."
"Thank you. You haven't had a chance to talk to them during this visit have you? Should we go down and join them?"
"I would like that."
Duncan was training with a target dummy while Oghren grumbled instructions. He was quickly improving and Alyssa was quite proud of the determination and skill he showed. Jowan was showing Justin spells from different schools of magic, thankfully leaving out blood magic. Duncan was the first to notice Alyssa and Bethany.
"Mother. Aunt Bethany. See I have improved? I am Duncan the berserker."
"I thought berserkers were big." Justin stated.
"Never judge a warrior by his height, sparklefingers. Can I be relieved commander? I am almost sober and it is terrifying me." Oghren grunted.
"Of course, Oghren. I am grateful that you take your time to train him."
"But I want to train some more..." Duncan grumbled sadly.
"I can help you train, Duncan." Bethany smiled.
"But you are a mage... how will you train me?"
"I will have you know that I trained with my twin brother often. He was warrior too." Duncan's eyes lit up and Bethany jumped into the ring. Alyssa went over to Justin and Jowan.
"... and then there are very few who are shapeshifters." Jowan explained.
"What's a shapesh... a shaper?" Justin asked.
"That is a mage who can change into animals." Alyssa explained.
"Any animal?" Justin smiled.
"Yes, but it is difficult to learn and only very few can perform it. You need to focus on the school of magic that is best suited for you."
"What do you think I would be good at?"
"You have a deep connection to the fade and are good with offensive spells. I think you would make a good arcane warrior if we can find someone to teach you when you are old enough." Jowan smiled.
"Did you hear that Duncan? I can be a warrior to." Justin smiled with pride.
"We will be the greatest warriors Thedas has ever seen." Duncan stated proudly.
Justin and Alyssa looked at Duncan and Bethany sparring. She was doing a great job training him and she was very careful not to hurt him even as she provided a challenge for him. Justin then gave Alyssa a curios look.
"Do you know any shapers?"
Alyssa just smiled and turned into a wolf before him. Morrigan had taught her years ago how to run into a wolf. It was very difficult and despite years of training Alyssa had mastered no other forms. It was not a skill she used often as it would allow her to sneak into places unnoticed. It was her secret weapon in a sense. She missed Morrigan sometimes. They did not always agree, but even so a real friendship had evolved between them. She had found Morrigan again some years ago and she had provided Alyssa with the part of her "dark ritual" that allowed her to conceive a child. Alistair was concerned about the son he had with Morrigan, but Alyssa was not. She did not fully trust Morrigan, but she had never done anything to suggest that she couldn't be trusted. Alyssa owed her so much... her life, Alistair's life and her family. Justin's eyes grew wide and a big smile appeared on his face. She then turned back into herself.
"Woooow..."
"You better get back to your training, sweetheart."
She kissed him on his forehead and went back outside the ring.
-OOO-
The next morning Anders and Phillip drank the ashes. Phillip felt a little nauseous after, but other than a loss of appetite he didn't seem to show any serious symptoms. Anders however felt very weak. The taint in his body was fighting back making him feverish, nauseated and fatigued. It didn't seem serious, but it would take time for him to recover, so until he felt better they would have to stay at Redcliff. Despite she was sad that Anders was sick, after so many years apart Marian enjoyed taking care of him. Making him potions to help with the nausea, bringing him tea and cooling his fever with a wet towel.
"Thank you for doing this, love."
"You have healed me so many times, it is only fair that I return the favour. Besides I like taking care of you. You were always far too busy in Kirkwall for me to properly spoil you as I wanted to." She smiled and kissed his cheek.
"Be careful. I might not want to get back up from this bed if you spoil me too much." He joked.
"The horror... I am reduced to a servant." She remarked sarcastically and tried to pout as if she was hurt. He laughed, but then began to cough. She gave him some tea with herbs he had instructed her to use and he fell asleep shortly after. She felt his brow and was relieved to find that the fever had cooled. She lay down beside him gently placing a hand upon his chest.
-OOO-
Three weeks had pasted since Fenris, Varric, Isabela and Lea was brought to Stark Haven. Sebastian was spending a lot of time with Lea. It made Varric nervous. She might be Marian and Anders' daughter, but she was his little girl. All Varric wanted was to be back at The Hanged Man with a pint and telling stories while he knew Lea was sleeping safely in the next room. Varric also didn't like the way Sebastian treated Lea. He wasn't unkind... quite the opposite in fact. He bought her toys, clothes and played with her. Void he had even bought her a pony and was teaching her how to ride. He was buying her love and Varric suspected why. Sebastian had tried to hide it, but Varric knew that Sebastian had loved Hawke. "Andrastes tits. There was hardly a man in Kirkwall, who hadn't been in love with her at some point." He had been there when Sebastian had warned her about Anders. A friendly concern, but also a last hope that she would see reason and leave Anders.
"I know you and Anders. It isn't my place to question, but please... be careful. He is dangerous man and selfish. Whatever he promised never think he will put you above his own needs."
"I know you mean well, Sebastian and you concern is heart warming, but I never expected him to put me above what he believes to be right. What you call selfish I believe to be a general love for all his fellow mages. This is so much bigger than just him. I never expected or wanted to be more important than his cause. Just as if I loved you I would never expect you to put me above the Chantry."
"Surely you do not compare serving the Maker with his ridiculous cause."
"In terms of how much it means to him, I do. I promise, Sebastian, I will be careful."
Marian had not chosen Sebastian and had not headed his warnings. Now Sebastian would make the last person Anders loved choose him over her father. Sebastian was reflecting all his love and regard for Marian on Lea. What bothered Varric the most however was that Sebastian had arranged for two hours a day were Lea would be taught the stories of Andraste and the chant of light. They were of course told in a way that made mages the eternal villains and threat. If Anders knew what Sebastian was teaching his daughter he would be furious, but perhaps that was the point. Varric had of course not taught her any of this and he felt as if his authority as her guardian was being overruled. They might live in fancy rooms and be given good meals, but for all intent and purposes they were prisoners. Sebastian, thankfully, knew nothing about Lea's powers and Fenris had instructed her not to talk about it or help anyone. Fenris was good with authority and Lea always listened to him. Not like Varric who was always giving into her please.
They were sitting in the library. Sebastian was telling Lea about Andraste. She seemed to lose focus from time to time, but Sebastian just smiled at this. They were after all not as interesting as Varric's wild tales he was sure.
"...So magic is to serve man never to rule over him." Sebastian explained.
"What does that mean?"
"It means that mages a capable of terrible things and we must ensure that they don't hurt or try to control anyone."
"But mages do not rule?"
"Not here, thanks to Andraste. But in some places in Thedas they do. In Tevinter mages rule everything. Hasn't Fenris told you?"
"He called them magisters not mages."
"A magister is a mage with power and influence."
"So not all mages have power?"
"All mages a dangerous, Lea. They can be possed by demons and then their will is no longer their own. Listen
"The first of the Maker's children watched across the Veil
and grew jealous of the life
They could not feel, could not touch.
In blackest envy were the demons born."
This is why they can never be trusted. All of them are dangerous."
"But some mages help people. My father helped the sick."
Sebastian felt anger rising in his veins. He took a deep breath hoping to control his rage. She was after all not responsible for her father's deeds and did not deserve anger that was not meant for her. It would also make sense that Varric hadn't told her about Anders. She was, after all, still so young. Her innocent eyes calmed his anger, cured him of his vengeance... momentarily.
"Even your father killed a lot of people."
Lea looked at him with suspicion.
"If he was good why would he kill?"
"Because he was a mage corrupted by his powers. No matter how good a mage may seem they are always a danger. That is why they must be locked up. For other people's safety as well as their own."
Lea looked pale and tears started forming in her eyes as she pulled away from Sebastian.
"I want, Varric."
He looked at her little face and cursed himself. He was finally making some progress with her and now he had scared her. What did he expect? Telling her such things about her father. He stroked her hair trying to comfort her, but without any luck. Sebastian nodded and had a guard escort her to the rooms were Varric, Isabela and Fenris was. As soon as the door opened Lea ran crying towards Varric and held him. Isabela closed the door, while Fenris kneeled next to Lea.
"Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" Fenris asked.
"He said that father killed people. He said... mages... magic... I don't... want to be... locked... up." She said between sobs. She buried her head in Varric's chest and when she had calmed a bit Fenris picked her up and sat her on a table. He then looked into her eyes. He couldn't believe what he was about to say. He was defiantly not the same man anymore.
"Freedom does not come without a price. To free myself from slavery I had to kill a lot of people. If I hadn't I would still be a slave or be dead. Are you afraid of me?"
She shook her head and Isabela dried her eyes with a handkerchief. He continued.
"Your father wanted to free a lot of people. I knew your father and he never killed because he liked it. He did it only when he believed it to be necessary."
"Like Andraste?"
Varric and Isabela had to suppress a chuckle. If Sebastian had heard her compare her father to Andraste he would have been furious. The innocence of a child is a wonderful thing. They are not coloured and damage as adults are and see similarities that others tend to overlook. Varric finally answered.
"Like the champion did. Your mother had to kill a lot of quanari, humans, elves and dwarfs to keep people in Kirkwall safe."
Lea looked like she began to understand and they grew quiet. She then looked up at them.
"Should I be locked up?"
"No of course not, Kitten. You have done nothing wrong." Isabela smiled. Ironic... the only person in that room who could honestly say they had never harmed anyone, was the one who had to be most concerned for her freedom. They needed to get her out of there. Soon.