Mario: "You can't miss the mess, pal. You can't miss the mess, pal!" Yeah, where is it!?

Kid: Eew! I dropped my ice cream cone and made a mess!

Mario: Is that it?

FLUDD: Yeah, that's right, Mario. This island is being polluted by vanilla ice cream.

Mario: It is?

FLUDD: Go get a dictionary and look up the word "sarcasm," Mario.

Mario: ...Oh, THAT'S the mess they were talking about. Looks like a Wonka factory gone bad.

Mario sprays water and cleans up the mess. Another big Piranha Plant covered in goop appears.

FLUDD: Have any more raisins?

Mario: I'm working on some pizza in my overalls. Does that count? It's only a couple weeks old, though.

FLUDD: That would work.

Without wasting any more time, Mario pulls a shriveled, green piece of pizza out of his overalls and chucks it into the Piranha Plant's mouth. Like the one that came before it, it dies instantly.

Mario: That was the last piece of food I had.

FLUDD: A statue is appearing!

The Grand Pianta Statue rises up from the ground where the Piranha Plant was. A man with a beard is on top of it.

Man with beard: Wilson! I'm sorry, Wilson!

Mario: Now I've seen everything.

Shadow Mario, on top of the statue, kicks the bearded man off and looks at Peach, who is standing nearby. He hops off and lands in a complete split on the ground. Rigid as the statue he was just on, he makes his way over to Peach, grabs her, and waddles off. Mario walks normally alongside Shadow Mario.

Mario: What do you think you're doing?

Shadow Mario: Making a getaway! Go away!

Mario continues to walk alongside Shadow Mario for awhile before kicking him and taking Peach back. Shadow Mario recovers and dashes to Bianco Square and paints something on the Grand Pianta Statue. When Mario approaches, he turns and paints "kick me" on the plumber's shirt, then hops into the graffiti. Mario attempts to hop in as well.

Mario: A one and a two and a three!

SPLAT! Mario sticks to the graffiti and flails uselessly. After awhile, he falls off. He is completely rainbow-colored.

FLUDD: Perhaps you should have sprayed it with water first, rocket scientist.

Mario: How was I supposed to know!? Shadow Mario did it perfectly!

Mario sprays it with water and hops inside. When he lands, he is in a different place.

Mario: I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

FLUDD: You appear to be in Bianco Hills.

Mario: singing Bianco Hills! That's where I want tuh bay!

FLUDD: Perhaps you should shut up and save the world like you're supposed to.

Mario: Don't spoil the moment, FLUDD. Fine. Where do I go?

FLUDD: The name of this episode is "Road to the big windmill."

Mario: Well, how was I supposed to know that?

FLUDD: It was right in front of the screen, you moron.

Mario: What screen!? What buttons? What are you talking about!?

The word "about" echoes over and over again. Several Pianta heads turn in his direction. Even FLUDD recoils in his own mechanical way. Mario is very red-faced.

FLUDD: ...Follow the path down to the windmill.

Mario: You sure, scrappy?

FLUDD: Positive. Uh...analysis verifies that.

Mario, still huffing and puffing, marches off down the path, glancing menacingly up at FLUDD every so often. He finally arrives at, what do you know, another Piranha Plant.

Mario: Oh, please. How many more of these do I have to go through?

Writer: Three more.

Mario: Hey, you're the writer. Can't you change what I'm fighting?

Writer: Sorry. It was in the game.

Mario: This isn't the game, is it? Change it!

Writer: Fine. Ninja master?

Mario: No.

Writer: Wooden soldier?

Mario: No.

Writer: Giant cockroach from Men in Black?

Mario: Heck, no.

Writer: Sumo wrestler?

Mario: Now that's more like it!

In a poof of green smoke--

Mario: Purple smoke. Make it purple smoke.

Writer: Hey, buddy, you're lucky I changed the boss for you. I'm not changing the color of the smoke.

In a poof of green smoke, the Piranha Plant vanishes to reveal a 500-pound mass of Japanese fat and girth with a small ponytail staring back at Mario.

Sumo Wrestler: Hai!

Mario: I'm going to enjoy this.

The Sumo Wrestler lifts one leg in the air, then slams it back down to the ground threateningly. Mario walks up, but is pushed back twenty feet by the large foe.

Sumo Wrestler: Hai!

Mario: At least this is better than that boring Piranha Plant.

Mario walks unsteadily back up to the sumo wrestler. He ducks under the second push, then pushes the sumo wrestler down the hill. It rolls like a ball down the slope and bonks into a tree. The Shine Sprite appears where Mario is.

Mario: Yay! My second Shine Sprite!

FLUDD: Now there are only 118 chapters left to this story. So sad.

Mario: WHAT!? I can't do--

FLUDD: I was joking. Even machines have a sense of humor.

Mario: I've picked that up by now. Let's just do all the important parts to the story, shall we?