Here's the next chapter and thanks so much to every loyal fan and everyone who takes the time to leave me a review. They are greatly appreciated. Also who is SO excited for tomorrow's episode of One Tree Hill. Leyton probably won't get back together, but I think we are in for a lot of great Leyton moments! ENJOY!
Several hours earlier
"I can't believe this place is still around," Peyton said, as she Jake, Haley, and Nathan sat in a booth at Tric.
"It's only been three years, Sawyer," Nathan chuckled, teasingly. He had been ribbing her about how long she'd stayed away from the moment they got there.
"Um yeah I think she means with your mom running it now, she' surprised it hasn't burned to the ground yet," Haley said in her usual sarcastic way.
"She said it. I didn't," Peyton said with a small laugh, finishing her rum and coke and looking nervously around the club. It was packed with Ray Lamontagne performing there that night and Peyton was beyond nervous that she would see him. She hadn't realized how raw the pain was still until she came home...and how much she missed him.
"You okay?" It was a question Jake asked her every half hour it seemed ever since they passed the Welcome to Tree Hill sign. She didn't blame him. She was tense and on edge the entire three days they'd been there, afraid they would run into him somewhere. But so far, the trip had been Lucas Scott free. In truth, Peyton had been dying to ask about him. She wanted to know why he hadn't tried to contact her.
"I'm fine Jake," Peyton replied, giving him a smile that was forced because all of her smiles were forced. Jake hated that smile. It was fake and it made her look sort of crazy. "I'm going to get another drink," she announced.
"Anybody want anything?" Everyone declined and after Peyton stood up and left, Jake exchanged a look with Nathan and Haley.
"So how is Lucas?" It was Nathan and Haley's turn to exchange a look and Haley looked down sadly. "Peyton won't ask, but I know part of her really wants to."
"I mean he's going to school and he's doing well…." Haley trailed off and looked up at Nathan.
"He's miserable," Nathan sighed finally. "Ever since that day at the hospital, it's like having a ghost for a brother. He barely talks to his mom anymore or any of his friends. He comes by to see Jaime and that's the only time we ever really see him smile."
"Honestly Jake, I'm not only protecting Peyton. At this point, I'm trying to protect Lucas from seeing Peyton, because I really don't know what seeing her would do to him. He's different, Jake and not in a good way."
Haley had seen Lucas after he broke up with Peyton, sitting in his closet crying. But when she saw Lucas again after the hospital, this Lucas frightened her more. Lucas had become the picture of a broken man. A man who had all but given up.
"Lucas fight for her. You love her more than anything and anyone. Make her understand that you don't remember what happened that night."
"Haley, it's over. You didn't see her. I never-I never thought she could look at me that way," his eyes momentarily clouding with pain. "She hates me and I don't know why for sure but, what she said is true. All I do is hurt her. I could never get it right with her and if being away from me is what she needs then-"
"But you're miserable, Luke! I've never seen you like this before. Karen says you aren't eating and you barely sleep. I'm sure whatever it was at the party was just some sort of misunderstanding."
"Haley, she passed out on the side of the road. Whatever happened hurt her that much and it's my fault," he looked down at his hands sadly and it broke Haley's heart. "I-I just wish I knew what it was I did. Besides before that happened she didn't want us together."
"Ask her Luke. I can give you her number at Jake's-" But Lucas stopped her with a violent shake of his head.
"She asked Jake to marry her, before she came home and told me that she loved me. She's with Jake now."
"You don't know that Luke!"
"I won't hurt her anymore than I have, Haley," he whispered. "I can't do it to her. I love her too much and….Jake is a good guy."
"Goddammit Lucas, stop trying to be a martyr," Haley wailed as loudly as she could without waking her sleeping son. Her surprising outburst momentarily brought a spark back to his grey-blue eyes, but just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.
"She doesn't want to be with me, Haley. She doesn't want anything to do with me," he finished, his voice choking up. He had to leave. Talking about this proved to be too much pain to bear.
"Lucas-"
"I'm gonna go Hales. I'll see you around." And with that he was gone.
It was as though he had resigned himself to a life by himself…well that wasn't true. He resigned himself to a life with Brooke. Haley huffed at the thought of it. That had been a confusing and infuriating turn of events.
"Has he at least seen anyone since Peyton?"
Haley and Nathan exchanged yet another look. "He's with Brooke."
Jake's eyebrow's shot to his forehead. Now that was a shocking turn of events. "What? How?"
"They got back together a year ago," Haley said. "I don't know what was going through either of their heads. She came home from school and I don't know the details of how they got back together because Lucas won't tell me. What I do know is they're both unhappy and all they do is fight. I think they both got together out of pure desperation. We all know Brooke hates being alone and Lucas…I guess he needed someone to love."
"Does he love her?" Jake asked hopefully.
"In his own way, I think," Haley replied. "Most of the time…he barely registers that she's there, though."
"I'd ask about Peyton's dating status, but I know that's pointless," Nathan sighed. "Not even anything with you two?"
Jake blushed a bit and shook his head, trying to hide his disappointment. "She won't admit it, but it hurt her that Lucas never tried to contact her. I think part of her was…waiting for him."
"Ugh, God, Lucas is convinced that Peyton is better off without him or something. Did she ever tell you what happened that night?"
Jake shook his head at Haley. "Luke never remembered, I take it."
"It's something that always bothered me," Nathan said after shaking his head. "That he could get that drunk one and that he forgot everything like that. Lucas isn't a big drinker…well at least he wasn't. But that whole situation bothers me. I can't imagine how Lucas feels not being able to remember."
"He knows it was bad enough that Peyton ran as far from Tree Hill as she could and stayed away for three years," Haley sighed. "He's punishing himself for a crime and he doesn't even know what he did."
"Does he…know Peyton is in town?" Jake asked.
"No," Haley replied, thinking of all the pain that had touched her two friends for over three years. "And…I sort of want to keep it that way.
Peyton walked through Tric, letting the memories wash over her; Some good and some bad, as most memories generally are. Being back home after three years was more than a little surreal. There were memories from, Lupe Fiasco, the Breast Cancer concert, doing coke with Rick, to prom and almost all of those memories included Lucas. Haley had promised she would make sure they didn't run into Lucas, and Peyton appreciated it, but a small part of her, the part that had not let go of the promises he had made to her wanted to see him more than anything in the world.
Peyton didn't know how she would react, but that was how she felt, regardless. Unbeknownst to her, she would momentarily get that opportunity. As she made her way towards the stage area where Ray Lamontagne was about to begin his first set, she saw him. Standing off to the side, looking uncomfortable and kind of miserable.
She froze. He hadn't seen her yet and as much as her mind was screaming for her to haul tail and run in the other direction, that small but significant part of her, otherwise known as her heart kept her legs still.
His hair was darker than it was before and it desperately needed a haircut. His frowning face desperately needed a shave and he looked a bit paler than she remembered and slightly thinner, but what really shocked her, was his eyes. They were squinted in a scowl, as they sometimes were, but the color was a hard steely gray that was as off-putting as his demeanor. They were listlessly watching the performance on stage that had just begun and they began to wander the crowd, eventually falling on her.
They stared at one another for what seemed like eternity, him drinking her in, and her trying to keep her legs from giving out. It didn't hurt, the way she thought it would. It was like an out of body experience, really and when she managed to get a hold of herself, she walked quickly away towards the back hallway of the bar near the dressing rooms a place she knew she could be alone.
She was there for a moment, trying to control her breathing, unaware that she had been followed.
"You're back." His voice shocked her and she jumped slightly, spinning around to find him standing in front of her. She hadn't realized he had followed her, but here he was.
"Is it you?" Her hair was darker and a lot longer than he remembered it to be. The curls in her hair tighter than they had previously been when he last saw her. She had lost some weight, but she was still so beautiful. She was so beautiful it hurt and it was all he could do not to throw her down and make love to her right then and there. He had dreamed of this many times over the years, of finally seeing Peyton Sawyer again. But, none of those fantasies included her looking at him like he was the Boogeyman.
"I'm visiting," she said, after finding her voice. He nodded, coming closer to her and Peyton felt every hair on her body stand on end, every muscle tense.
"When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow," she replied shortly. Lucas nodded, feeling anger take hold of him. An anger he had been unknowingly harboring for the past three years.
"And you were just going to leave," he demanded, frustration coating his words. "Without even seeing me? Oh wait you didn't even say goodbye when you hauled ass outta here three years ago, so why would you come see me."
"I'm seeing you right now," she bit, sarcasm lacing her reply. "And you have a hell of a lot of nerve getting an attitude with me."
"Me? You left without saying goodbye! Like, like a thief in the night you were gone! After everything Peyton, you couldn't-you couldn't even say goodbye to me! To me! Do have any idea how much that hurt Peyton?"
"You think I don't know hurt, Luke?" Peyton shook her head and turned away. "You didn't deserve a goodbye," she murmured, bitterly.
Stung, Lucas looked at her sadly, and it tore her heart even as she tried to ignore the feeling. "I really don't remember that night Peyton. You know me and you know…I hope you know I would never lie to you. However I've wronged you, I'm sorry. For that and for everything."
Peyton watched him turn and began walking away. Damn him! She should have just let him walk away, but she couldn't. Not now.
"Why didn't you call?" Her voice broke as the question was torn from her lips. He stopped and turned to stare at her in astonishment and felt his heart hurt at the sight of her crying because of him once again. "You didn't even try to call me once!"
"Would you have answered? Huh? Would you have answered for the guy who does nothing but hurt you?" He knew he was an asshole for throwing her words back in her face, but he would be lying if he said he didn't resent her a little.
Peyton shook her head, feeling anger give way. "I hate you," she cried, leaning against the brick wall. "Why can't you fight for me just once?! Why do you let us go so quickly," she whispered so quietly he almost didn't hear her above the strains of a familiar song Ray Lamontagne was about to sing.
Well the truth it fell so heavy
Like a hammer through the room
That I could choose another over her
You always said I was an actor, baby
Guess in truth you thought me just amateur
That you never saw the signs
That you never lost your grip
Oh, come on now
That's such a childish claim
Now I wear the brand of traitor
Don't it seem a bit absurd
When it's clear I was so obviously framed
When it's clear I was so obviously framed
"You didn't want us Peyton," he cried, walking back towards her. Wishing he could take away her pain, but weary of getting hurt himself. "You didn't want us! Even before that goddamned party."
"That didn't mean I stopped loving you or wanting us! You told me not to let go of the trust I had that you loved me, Luke, but you let go first!"
Lucas shook his head, slowly. "I didn't, Peyt. I swear on Keith's grave I didn't and if you don't believe anything else I say then, please believe that I meant everything I said to you in your room that night we spent together. You remember that night don't you?"
Peyton nodded with a shudder as he moved closer to her. "Do you?" She challenged and he nodded, sadly.
"It was the best and worst night of my life, Peyton," he said, blinking his lids over glassy eyes. "You said we would find our way back, Peyton. You promised and now you can't even look at me. Can you?"
No she couldn't. Peyton heard the blood pumping through her ears, her heart seemed to be trying for an escape via her throat. If she looked at him again she would break down.
"Why didn't you call me?"
"I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I already had," Lucas replied, quietly. He looked at her closely, seeing how closed off her body language was. "And I have hurt you. I can see it."
"I wanted you to-" Peyton refused to finish that sentence-fight for me. Finishing that sentence would make her weak. Standing here was making her weak. All he'd had to do was call her though. If he had called her and asked, she would have been on the next flight home and they could sort through all the other stuff later. That's how badly she wanted him-How badly she wanted him still.
"You what, Peyt?" Lucas whispered, stepping closer. He knew he should walk away. He knew it, but….he could never control himself when Peyton….
Searching green eyes darted up towards his and before they knew it, they were lost.
Now you act so surprised
To hear what you already know
And all you really had to do was ask
I'd have told you straight away
All those lies were truth
And all that was false was fact
Now you hold me close and hard
But I was like a statue at most
Refusing to acknowledge you'd been hurt
Now you're clawing at my throat
And you're crying all is lost
But your tears they felt so hot upon my shirt
But your tears they felt so hot upon my shirt
Neither of them were sure who kissed who first, but before either could blink Lucas had her pressed against the wall and she was arching her body into his hungrily and they were kissing each other quite senseless. Peyton's arms were thrown around his neck, pulling him closer while Lucas's hands roamed her body intimately. They couldn't get enough of each other and held on with a desperation that they both felt to their very cores.
Lucas moved his hands underneath her top, hungry for her in a way he'd never wanted anyone before. His thoughts were of nothing and no one but the woman in his arms, the woman he had dreamt of having in his arms for three long years.
They weren't really thinking. Their brains were seemingly stripped of any ideas of right or wrong, decent or indecent. They were only thirty feet away from a club full of people, from Jake, from Brooke, but neither cared because all that mattered at that moment was the way their tongues felt against each other as Lucas pulled Peyton in for another kiss. All that mattered was the feeling of his erection against her core and freeing it from the confines of his pants. All that mattered was the pounding heartbeats and the fevered kisses and the mingling of breath.
Lucas's girlfriend didn't matter as he whispered "I love you" into her ear and begged her never to leave him again. Brooke was the last thought in his mind as he pulled away Peyton's panties and pressed his lips to the spot just below her ear that drove her wild.
Jake was the last thought in Peyton's mind as she, reached for the zipper of Lucas's jeans and wrapped her legs around his waist.
"Tell me you love me Peyt," he murmured.
"I love you," Peyton breathed. Nothing mattered.
"I love you, Luke."
Well the truth it fell so heavy
Like a hammer through the room
That I could choose another over her
You always said I was an actor, baby
Guess in truth you thought me just amateur
Their lips crashed together again for another desperate kiss, as they guided his cock into the heat of her center. They groan at the connection, both feeling more complete than they'd felt in a very very long time. But this is not a tender meeting of souls. This is hot desperation, a repeat of their first time together with less sadness and more anger. She clings to him as he begins to drive into her, both of them crying out with every deepening thrust.
Was it you who told me once
Now looking back it seems so real
That all our mistakes are merely grist for the mill
So why is it now after I had my fill
That you steal from me the sorrow that I've earned
Shall we call this a lesson learned?
Shall we call this a lesson learned?
It was over too soon. And although the crowd was deafening, the only thing either of them could hear was the sound of their own hearts, slowing back down from its previous exertion. Lucas buried his face into Peyton's neck, tasting the salt on her skin and shut his eyes hearing her moan with pleasure.
He was such an asshole. It was the only thing he could think as Peyton started dropping kisses, almost unconsciously, on the side of his face thinking faintly about moving home and possibly finding a way past all the hurt.
Lucas looked away, feeling tears burning the backs of his eyes. He stepped back from her, knowing he had to tell her, wishing he had said something sooner, before passion had taken a hold of them. She stared at him in confusion, fixing her skirt and watching him zip up, seeing the fear in his eyes and the shame and braced herself for the painful words she knew were coming.
"I-I'm with Brooke," he blurted, knowing from the look on her face that saying he didn't really love Brooke and wanted to be with her, wouldn't do shit.
Peyton felt the words like a physical blow and her mind jetted back to the night at the party when she felt like her world had fallen apart.
As much Lucas wanted to look away, he made himself watch what his words did to her. He let her slap his face twice and welcomed the painful sting. He deserved those slaps and more….because all he did was hurt her.
"What happened to you?!" She cried, looking at him with tear filled eyes. She stared at him like he was a stranger.
"I don't know," he whispered back, finally lowering his head. He didn't recognize himself either.
"I'd say don't call me…..but knowing you, I'm sure you won't," she muttered before straightening her clothes and beginning to walk away.
"Peyton I love you," he called after, desperately. He was a second away from getting down on his knees to beg. "Please. I'm sorry. I fucked everything up. I know I did, but-Don't walk away from me again. Please."
Peyton whirled around, imagining him saying those same words to Brooke, imagining him making love to her.
"I hate you," she spat before turning away and resolving to put Lucas Scott out of her mind forever.