Disclaimer: still don't own anything
Kyuubi's seal messes with Naruto's psyche making him both a genius and mentally insane. Watch his misadventures as a konoha shinobi.
A/N: Thanks to my reviewers, if i haven't gotten back to you then i will or i forgot. Just bonk me on the head if i forgot because im sorry.
--Team placement day--
The passers, as the non-graduating part of the class called them, trickled into the empty classroom in small groups of friends. The room was full of energy and excitement because this was the day that they would officially become genin, or so they thought. Iruka calmly strode into the classroom, the team roster in his hand. As he approached the front of the classroom, most of the students became anxious. The few students who weren't anxious were either asleep or Naruto, who, in all actuality was asleep, but with his eyes open.
"Good morning students, or should I say future Konoha shinobi." a warm smile graced his face as his eyes moved across the room looking at the expressions of his once students. "Before we begin, I would like to announce that teams 2, and 3 are still filled so when you hear me go from 1 to 4, that is the reason. So, shall we?" The class chorused a yes. "Team 1. Rukia Inuzuka, Gintoki Sakata, and Naruto Uzumaki." As soon as he heard his name, Naruto awoke.
"Ahh! Spiders!" he picked up his chair and started smaking one of the assistant teachers who just happened to be passing by. "Spiders! Spiders! Spiders!" he promptly shouted before falling back asleep.
"Man," started Gin. "this is almost as embarrassing then the time when he almost drowned in his ramen bowl."
-- 1 year ago --
"THAT IS A GIANT BOWL OF RAMEN!" shouted Katsura. In front of him was the biggest bowl of ramen he had ever seen. Truthfully, it was the biggest bowl of anything he had ever seen. The ramen bowl was easily the size of the training field and about 3 building stories high.
"Yeah, Naruto turned a mountain outside of Konoha into that to set a world record for most ramen consumed by any one person." replied Gintoki. Around him were their other friends, Ayeka, Reiko, and Rukia. "He's about to start." Naruto could be seen on the edge of the bowl with a swimming cap and a pair of speedoes. He got into a divers stance and jumped in. They climbed a few trees to see his progress. When they got a look at him they saw that he was floating on his front and not moving. "Damn, I forgot to give him his water wings."
-- Present --
"I never knew he couldn't swim." said Iruka. Reiko shook her head in the negative.
"He can... sometimes." Iruka sweatdropped.
"How can someone just swim sometimes... oh wait, Naruto. Right then, moving on."
"Ok then. Your jounin instructor is Sanada Hiroyuki."
"Hai sensei." replied Rukia.
"Great now for team 4." Iruka proceeded in this manner which the last three of the group ignored until Reiko's name was called.
"Excuse me sensei." interrupted Reiko. "Could you please repeat what team number I'm on?" Iruka nodded.
"Sure thing Reiko. Its team 7, and your teammates are Katsura Kotaro, and Ayeka Toushiro. Your jounin instructor is Watanabe Ken. Alright then, thats it. I can't say I've been prouder then any class and can't wait to hear about your adventures as a ninja. Please be safe." said Iruka as he walked out of the classroom, sad smile on his face. He really was proud, in all of his years as a teacher, there couldn't have been a more fun and progressive class. 'Maybe I should continue training and become a jounin Thought the scarred teacher.
"Naruto seems to have the right idea." said Gin as he put his head on the desk, but before he could, the door slammed open.
"Wow, they sure don't make doors like they used too. Oh well, not my problem. Team numero uno come with me!" yelled the bearded instructor. Everyone sweatdropped.
"What the heck is numero uno?" asked Rukia. Naruto just chuckled from his spot behind the sensei. They saw that he now sported a giant sombrero.
"Profesor de la buena mañana. ¿Su un día agradable no es hoy él?" (roughly: Good morning teacher. Nice day today isn't it? Got it from babelfish so don't get mad at me if its wrong. ;;; )asked Naruto as he put his hand on the man's shoulder.
"Quite the talented youngster aren't you?" said the man. "Ahahaha, very well, follow me team 1." As he said this, he thought, 'What the hell are they teaching the kids now and days at school?'
Gin and Rukia got up quietly to follow the man and their fellow teammate who was already ahead of them. They quickly noticed that they were on the way towards the training grounds. Were they already going to start training? Is this really what it was to be a ninja? Before they knew it, they're teacher stopped and turned to them.
"OK you little brats. Here's how it goes, I don't want too teach, but they're making me give you a chance. Sooooo... theres a little test that we "teachers" are to administer. If you pass then your officially team 1."
"Wait." stopped Rukia. "So were not officially genin yet?" Sanada shook his head in the negative. "That sucks."
"Yep. So come back after lunch and I'll have a test ready for you. Just try to be ready for the test." He turned to leave, but Gin stopped him.
"You haven't told us the test yet..." he said. Sanada looked at him while picking his nose. He struck gold then proceeded to strike Gin with it.
"I haven't thought of it yet." he said before disappearing in a poof. Gin looked dumbstruck while the other two laughed at him.
"Ahhhh! Get it off, get it off!" he yelled while jumping into a nearby stream head first. The only problem was that it was a stream, meaning it was very shallow. "Owwww! Freakin dammit! Stupid river... stream... faucet... water... crap it made me stupid!"
"It did?" asked Rukia. Naruto laughed, then dived in with Gin. Gin expected him to hit his head just like he did, but Naruto ended up being eaten by the stream.
"WTF?!" Gin ran over to where Naruto was only to see a hole where he submerged. "Of course Naruto is the one to find the deep part of the stream... wait a minute, that shouldn't even be there."
"Hey what're you guy looking at?" asked a voice from the back. They turned around to find Naruto, dry as a desert. Rukia sighed.
"It has to be freakin magic. There's no other explanation."
"Sure there is Rukia! It's magic!" exclaimed Naruto.
"Thats what I said!" she retorted. Naruto shook his head and smiled like a child who finally found a chance to correct his/ her parents.
"You said freakin magic! There's a difference." said Naruto, now sitting, dressed in a sage like uniform all the while shaking his head sagely.
"WHATS THE DIFFERERENCE!?" Naruto jumped up and was now dressed in priest robes.
"Freakin magic is used by the devil while regular magic is used by entertainers, that it is."
"Ahh! I give up!"
"NO! You can't give up! Life is worth living! You'll find your reason eventually!"
"Rukia is dying?!" asked Gin from where he was situated in the stream. "You can't die!... yet."
"WTF do you mean yet?"
"Well we need you for the exam. We can't just have two people now can we."
"I'm dying and that all you can think about!? You selfish bas..." she stopped halfway into her curse because she knew Naruto didn't like curses. Of all his pet peeves, curses were number one. "Basket face."
"Basket face?" asked Gin. He received his answer in the form of a fruit filled basket hitting him in the face. "Ahh."
"You guys are weird. I don't think I can hang out with you anymore." said Naruto. Gin and Rukia looked at him wide-eyed. They were the weird ones? "How can you guys not be hungry, its lunch time." They face planted. A light grumbling could be heard from they're stomachs. Naruto's face lit up. "I guess I can hang with you guys after all. Let's go steal food from the gods, my treat."
"When did we start calling ramen at Ichiraku's stealing food from the gods again?" asked Gin. Rukia looked at him as though he were stupid. "Head injury remember?" he asked, pointing up to his bandaged head.
"Oh. Well it was about the same time we figured he didn't like cursing."
-- Ichiraku's 2 years ago--
"You sir, are an amazing being. How would you like to be the head chef of the god's? If you accept you too will be a god!"
"I don't know king Neptune, I have a lot of customers here that love it too." King Neptune lowered his head.
"I see." He turned and walked away. Before he left the door though, he turned around and grabbed Ichiraku. "Got ya bitch!" He got about 1 mile away before he was drop kicked in the face.
"I hate people who curse." said Naruto, a dark aura encompassing him. "Now give me back my ramen maker!" King Neptune got back up and looked the punk in the face.
"You're gonna have to take him from me. Come my minions of the deep!" He grabbed his staff and thrust it into the ground making 4 summoning circles appear. When the light from the summoning circles died down, 4 sea creatures appeared on the ground almost dead due to the lack of water. "Uhh, here you go." said Neptune as he handed Naruto the unconscious Ichiraku.
--Present--
"Ohh yeah. That was cool."
"It was, wasn't it?"
"Yeah." They saw how far Naruto was ahead of them and had a mild panic attack. "If we don't hurry up he's going to eat all the ramen at Ichiraku's again!" They both sprinted as though they're life depended on it.
--Ichiraku's after lunch--
"Here's your bill Naruto." said Ayame as she handed him the dreaded piece of paper. Naruto looked at it and chuckled, throwing a rather hefty sack of money on the table.
"Where did you get all that money?!" chorused his two companions. Naruto looked dumbfounded.
"You don't remember?" They shook they're heads in the negative. "Thats funny, because I was hoping you would tell me." he smiled sheepishly. They sighed and smiled at the same time. There definitely was no substitute for such a guy.
--Test time / Sanada--
Sanada Hiroyuki stood atop the small hill of training ground 56 waiting for his students. When he saw them approach in the distance he smirked. This is where the fun would begin. His smirk turned into a smile though when he heard a scream. Oh yes, how he loved administering tests.
--Test time/ N(aruto)G(in)R(ukia) aka: New Genin Revolution (hopefully)--
Naruto, Gin and Rukia were walking to the training ground peacefully enjoying their now full stomachs when suddenly a trap went off. Gin stepped on a trip wire and shuriken were launched toward the team. Luckily, Naruto thought fast and pulled them down at the last second, or so they thought.
"Oww, by butt hurts. Who put that wire there?" They sweatdropped. OK, so maybe he didn't pull them down purposely, but he saved they're life otherwise. Rukia thought about why there would be a trap in the middle of nowhere, when she finally got a clue.
"This must be the test that sensei was talking about." Gin and Naruto nodded. "Well it looks like it won't be getting any easier."
--Test time/ Sanada--
'It looks like they're not giving up. Good, because it's the best part is just about to start.' he thought to himself. "Mwahahahahahah."
--Test time/ N(aruto)G(in)R(ukia) aka: New Genin Revolution (hopefully)--
"Haha! Lee! It is time to test your flames of youth against these soon to be genin for you shall follow in they're footsteps in exactly one year!"
"Hai Gai sensei! If I should fail then let me run around the village 5 times on my hands!"
"Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!"
"Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!" was the scene before the young genin's eyes. Gin and Rukia ran over to the nearest tree and barfed out they're lunch while Naruto stood there, not moving.
"I see you are both followers of the... SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH!" exclaimed Naruto. Gai and Lee looked away from eachother and looked at Naruto.
"Are you as well?" they asked.
"No I am not, because... I HAVE ALREADY MASTERED IT!" Lee and Gai looked at him with water in they're eyes. "I have seen your plight young followers and have the means to help thee!" He did a few handseals. "HA!" A pure shining light descended from the sky and enveloped the only hugging pair. "Now you have even more youthfulness! Go my fellow youthful warriors, spread the youth!" Gai and Lee now started to cry.
"Naruto-sensei, how may we repay you!?" they asked. Naruto got an evil glint in his eye.
"Spread the word of youth to my sensei and we shall be even young ones." Gai and Lee stood up strait.
"HAI!"
--Test time/ Sanada--
"Sanada my fellow jounin! We have come to spread the Springtime of youth with thee!" exclaimed Gai, a new spring in his step. Sanada looked like a deer caught in the headlights.
"Yes, we promised to convert you! If we cannot then I shall run out of the country and back on my fingers!"
"And if my youthful student cannot complete that then I shall carry him back while running on my nose!"
"Gai-sensei!"
"Lee!" It was then that Sanada learned the true meaning of horror as a sunset appeared behind the two... things. Thinking it was genjutsu, Sanada tried his best to break it, but nothing happened. Next thought? Run while they weren't looking.
"Uh-uh-uh sensei. We can't have you missing their youthful example can we?" asked Naruto, his two teammates behind him wearing 3 pairs of blindfolds and 10 kinds of earmuffs.
"Let me go! I promise I'll pass you guys!" he said. Naruto looked pensive for a moment before nodding.
"In a minute sensei, I need for others to enjoy my art you know?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" In one day, all because of a sensei's lazy mistake, a new terror was bestowed upon Konohagakure. Its name? Gai and Lee.
A/N: OK then. Got a little crackish at the end cuz i rushed, but hey, whatever. Thx a lot for reviewing and hope to see you readin the next chapter. Sorry if you got lost a bit while reading, cuz i got lost a bit while typing... ;;;