FLUDD: Go back into Gelato Beach.
Mario: No way.
FLUDD: Do it.
Mario: Never.
FLUDD: Idiot Stopper.
Mario: I would prefer that to that giant Wiggler.
Mario's face is blasted with foam constantly until he is nothing but a foamy snowman. He flails his arms and legs uselessly.
Mario: Okay! Okay! I'll go back in and fight it! But if I die, I'm going to kill you!
FLUDD: ...Never mind.
Mario: Never mind, what?
FLUDD: I was about to say something that would make you angry.
Mario: And you didn't say it? Thanks, FLUDD!
FLUDD: I was about to say, "What kind of stupid idiot would kill me after he dies? And I can't be killed anyway, which further proves his stupidity."
Mario: ...Well, never mind, then. Let's go, FLUDD.
Mario arrives at Gelato Beach and sees a seventy-foot long caterpillar with the angriest expression he's seen in his life rampaging around the beach. Piantas and Nokis are running around in circles, not really going anywhere or helping.
Noki: I'll protect this Dune Bud!
Mario: How?
Noki: I don't know, but I'll protect it!
The giant Wiggler runs over the Dune Bud. The only thing left of it is a microscopic part of leaf.
Noki: ...See, I protected it!
FLUDD: And I thought there was no one stupider than Mario.
Mario: It kind of gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling.
FLUDD: You're next in line.
Mario: I know. Now how do I defeat this Wiggler?
FLUDD: Why don't you find out for yourself?
Mario: That's a one-way ticket to death!
FLUDD: That's exactly my point.
Mario: Gee, that cliff on Noki Bay seems to be coming sooner and sooner.
FLUDD: You won't throw me off.
Mario: Oh, yes, that's right, isn't it? I'll develop some sort of bond to you during the final fight when you almost lose your life--or artificial intelligence--and then weep on your nozzle and say you'll always be my friend, right?
FLUDD: No, I meant I'll go all-out with my Idiot Stopper until you pass out.
Mario: Oh.
Mario walks up to the giant Wiggler. The Wiggler stops and stares at him, fire coming out its nostrils.
Mario: Rock-a-bye baaaaby on the tree top...whennnn the wind blooows the cradle will--
Mario gets flattened.
Mario: And now you see my point! What's his weak spot, FLUDD?
FLUDD: You need to flip him onto his back and then pound on his belly. Which will be particularly effective considering you can tilt a three hundred pound mirror just by grabbing onto the edge.
Mario: Why can't I just get a gun and shoot the crap out of him?
FLUDD: Because that would be easier.
Mario: And easy is bad?
FLUDD: No. Easy is good. Which is why you can't have it.
Mario: So how do I flip him over?
FLUDD: You have to make a Dune Bud rise under him.
Mario: Well, he destroyed just about every one!
FLUDD: There's one left.
Mario looks to his left and sees one remaining Dune Bud. He also sees the Wiggler charging toward it. In slow motion, he runs and yells, his yell coming out deep and low because of the slow motion. He dives at the Dune Bud and sprays it. The Wiggler flips over and lands on its back. He returns to fast motion and jumps on top of it. He immediately squashes it.
Mario: Boy, those meatballs really come in handy.
The Shine Sprite appears, and Mario gets it. He returns to Delfino Plaza.
Mario: Wow. Glad that's over. What's next, FLUDD?
FLUDD: This one should be relatively easy.
Mario: Good.
Mario hops back in.
FLUDD: For a person who isn't afraid of heights.
Mario: OHHHHH, I hate this!
Pianta: The Sand Bird was born! Oh, happy day! It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw! I don't think I will ever see such an awesome sight in all my life! This is the greatest day in history! You should have seen it!
Mario: Sweet! Where is it?
Pianta: It flew off.
Mario: Crap.
FLUDD: You have to collect eight red coins on top of the Sand Bird.
Mario: Hence the acrophobia warning.
FLUDD: Yes.
Mario: Well, how do I reach it?
FLUDD: You'll be magically teleported to it by going to its egg.
Mario: Is this the truth?
FLUDD: For once, yes.
Mario: No Bianco Hills bugs?
FLUDD: None of those.
Mario: Nothing waiting to jump out at me, squash me, scare me, kill me, or otherwise make me feel bad?
FLUDD: Remember, Mario, the last time I told the truth and you didn't believe me, you wound up on crutches.
Mario: It would help if you wouldn't fool me so much.
FLUDD: Those are funny moments.
Mario walks up to the area high up where there is a slide leading down to the egg.
Mario: So I'm just supposed to slide down?
FLUDD: Yes.
Mario hops on the slope and slides down. It's fun until the grass turns to rocks and gravel and tears up his overalls. Then he slides into a bunch of plants with thorns on them. Then there's a brief dip in the slope, and he whacks his butt hard on it. When he flies into the egg shell, he whacks his head on the top. Finally, he warps.
Mario: You neglected to mention that there were thorn patches, gravel slides, and a DIP in the slope!
FLUDD: If you had just looked yourself, you would have seen them. Don't blame me for your IQ of 30.
Mario: ...FLUDD? How high up are we?
FLUDD: Do you really want to know?
Mario: Not really.
FLUDD: Too bad. You are about two thousand feet above the ground. You're above the clouds, as you can see.
Mario: And what am I standing on?
FLUDD: The Sand Bird. Clearly made of sand.
Mario: And I'm not sinking through it?
FLUDD: Not yet, at least. Now concentrate on getting the red coins before the Sand Bird tilts sideways.
Mario's face turns green.
FLUDD: That would mean now.
Mario hastily scrambles to get all the red coins. The Sand Bird shouts a cry, and Mario covers his ears and starts crying like a baby.
FLUDD: You're pathetic, Mario.
Mario: Why do I always have to save the stupid day?
FLUDD: And why did I have to get paired with a stupid guy? Life isn't fair sometimes. Get the red coins before the Sand Bird tilts sideways.
Mario wipes his tears away and hastily gets the rest of the red coins. The Sand Bird starts wobbling.
Mario: STOP THAT! That's not nice!
FLUDD: It's a sign that it's going to tilt sideways.
The Sand Bird starts leaning sideways, and Mario scrambles to cling onto something. His fingers rake through the Sand Bird, dropping sand everywhere. He finally grabs onto the edge of a wing and shouts as loud as he can.
Mario: FLUDD! Where the heck is that last red coin!?!
FLUDD: At the top of the tower the Sand Bird is circling.
The Sand Bird rights itself, and Mario climbs back on. They near the top of the tower, and Mario uses his Hover Nozzle to hover on and grab the last red coin. The Shine Sprite appears, and Mario grins. A moaning sound is heard behind him.
Mario: What's that?
Mario turns and sees the Sand Bird turning into mud. With a shock, Mario realizes that the water from his Hover Nozzle blasted the Sand Bird. The look of the face is one of horror and shock. The Sand Bird turns completely into mud, then falls from the sky. Mario grabs the Shine Sprite, then warps back into Delfino Plaza, hops back into Gelato Beach, and stares into the sky. After a few minutes, a brown blob is seen falling from high up in the air. It crashes with a huge splash on the ground. Mud goes everywhere.
Pianta: Oh, man, what was that? Anybody know what that was?
All Piantas and Nokis shake their heads. The Pianta turns to Mario, whistling the Super Mario Bros. theme.
Pianta: What about you? Do you know what happened?
Mario: Well...it's always possible that some guy was up on top of the Sand Bird and accidentally got a little water on it, and it turned into mud and died....
Pianta: Really!?! What kind of jerk would do something like that!?!
Mario: Well, you know, it could be anybody...[checks his nonexistent watch] Oh, what do you know! I've got to get going and do something! Good luck cleaning up the mess!
Mario leaves and arrives back in Delfino Plaza.
FLUDD: Yes, what kind of jerk would kill the legendary Sand Bird?
Mario just whistles the Super Mario Bros. theme song and walks away.