Hello kids! Sorry for the wait and sorry about the absurd shortness of this chapter. I'll make up for it with the next chapter which you will be happy to know, I am in the process of writing. Some of you are saying, "oh that's nice lexlady, but where the eff is Bliss? Leyton actually smile in that one." To which I reply "I know! I know! I'm sorry, It's coming. I swear!"

Another heartfelt thank you goes out to all of the reviewers who are hanging in there with me through all the angst. This wouldn't be half as enjoyable without you all here cheering me on. Thank you so much.

"Peyton? Are you still there?"

The other woman had been silent for a while. Only the sounds of her trembling breath echoed through the phone line. After a beat Peyton found her voice.

"I'm here," she managed to say. "Wh-what happened?"

"We're all at Tree Hill Mercy. Haley, Nathan, Karen. Skills and Mouth are on their way," Brooke rambled, nervously.

"Brooke, what happened," Peyton asked again more forcefully.

"He had a heart attack," Brooke whispered. She heard Peyton's strangled intake of breath.

"When?" Peyton squeaked.

"Early this evening. His heart stopped and then again when the paramedics got him to the hospital," Brooke explained.

Peyton felt all her breath leave her as she sank to the couch. "Oh God."

Was that what she'd felt today? His heart before it stopped beating? "Oh my God."

"He's alive Peyton," Brooke said quickly, to reassure her. "But he's in a coma and well, the doctors here don't seem that optimistic and he-um he could use a reason to wake up and right now he doesn't seem to think he does."

Peyton was baffled by what she heard. No reason to wake up? Lucas lived for his family and his friends. How could he possibly think he had no reason to wake up?

"But he has Karen and Haley and Nathan and Jamie." After a beat, "He has you."

Brooke smiled mirthlessly on her end. "Well, Karen hasn't spoken to Lucas in almost two years and as for the rest of us, well lets just say, he didn't seem to think we were good enough reason when he stopped taking his medication for however long."

"What?" Lucas had stopped taking his medication? "But…why would he do that? Why would he do something so stupid?"

"Oh, I don't know Peyton. Probably the same reason he picked up a bottle fourteen months ago and never put it down," Brooke, replied with a hint of resentment she couldn't hide.

Peyton knew what had happened fourteen months ago and felt the realization of her part in this stab deep. She hadn't once asked how he was and angrily, she wondered why Haley and Nathan didn't tell her Lucas had been drinking? Probably because you made it quite clear you wanted nothing to do with him, she said to herself.

"I know you were here last year and that he…saw you," Brooke said.

"I-" Peyton stuttered. Did Lucas tell her that they'd had sex at Tric? She didn't know how much Brooke knew and as she fumbled over her words, trying to detect any betrayal or hatred in the other woman's voice, she thought to herself, so much for squaring your karma.

"It's fine Peyton…Actually no it obviously isn't because…He has been miserable since you left," Brooke said. It was hard to read her voice over the phone and maybe she was just feeling her own guilt stabbing at her core. Nevertheless,

"Don't," Peyton whimpered, feeling tears tickle her cheeks as they raced downwards. "Don't put this on me," Peyton cried.

"I'm not Peyton! Okay? I swear I'm not," Brooke cried as reassuringly as the situation would allow. "But we all watched him as he destroyed himself day by day and there was nothing we could do about it," Brooke exclaimed. She listened to Peyton soft sobs on the other end and struggled to soften her voice.

"That doesn't matter now. None of it does. Peyton whatever else you may think, know that a day hasn't gone by when he hasn't missed you. He-he loves you still Peyton, and he needs you."

Brooke took a long shaky breath after her outburst and said the words that would get her there. "He needs you Peyton….and he needs his son."

Again, Peyton felt her breath escape her and then another hot rush of shame. "Y-you kn-know…"

"Don't be mad, but Haley told me today. Lucas never knew."

Those words were the ones that broke her down completely. Brooke listened helplessly as Peyton sobbed hard on the other end, so hard that it drew a worried Jake into the room.

"Peyton," Jake tried worriedly. He knelt down beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder that she brushed away. She deserved no comfort or kindness. She had single-handedly broken the man that she still couldn't admit she still loved, the father of her child. What had she done?

"Peyton! Peyton," Brooke had been calling her name to no avail.

"The last thing I said to him was that I hated him," Peyton sobbed, the words directed to no one, but herself. "I told him-I hated him!"

Brooke waited for her gasps to subside and then said stalwartly, "Then come back home, Peyton and tell him you lied."

"Why are you doing this?" Peyton whimpered. On the other end Brooke bit her lip. On the one hand, telling her over the phone would save her the trouble of telling her face to face, plus she would have the whole plane ride to get over her initial anger. In the end, Brooke couldn't bring herself to tell Peyton the truth about that night. Not yet. She'd only just gotten the courage to tell Lucas.

"Because it's not about me right now, Peyton. It's about Lucas and what he needs. And what he needs is you."

With another shaky breath, Peyton pulled herself together enough to whisper, "I'll be on the next flight."

Jake watched her as she hung up the phone and placed her face in her hands. He sighed. So here it was….

"It's him isn't it?"

"Lucas," she whispered his name finally. "He's in the hospital."
That gave Jake pause and he sighed sadly for the man he had once called friend. "No-I mean …..It's him. It's always going to be him," Jake said, quietly. When he'd gone to their bedroom he'd pulled out her suitcase for her and then had gone into the nursery to pack up a suitcase for Keith.

"Jake-" Peyton sighed, looking up at him with tenderness and guilt. But the man shook his head, took her hand, looked her in the eyes, and said,

"Peyton, you're punished."

"What? Jake-"

"You refused to be with him because of some desire you had to punish yourself for hurting Brooke. From what you've told me, Peyton she's hurt you too. It has been nearly two years and although you've put on a brave face you've been miserable from the moment you left Tree Hill the first time. You may not think so, but he's been hurting too. From the sounds of that phone call, probably more than you and I know. And I'm sorry for my part. I've been selfish in wanting you with me-"

"Jake, no," Peyton cried. "You've been amazing. You-"

"I've been selfish," Jake said again. He stood up and took her with him, taking both her hands in his. "You're punished Peyton. You're both punished. Now, go to him."
Peyton felt tears dripping from her chin, and freeing a hand from Jake's grasp she did not wipe them away, but placed it upon Jake's cheek.

"Jake, for the amount of pain I've put you through, I'm not punished enough."

"Peyton, living for so long without your heart is punishment enough for everything and anything. You followed it back to Tree Hill to him once before. Now go back again and claim it."

It had been nearly ten hours since they had arrived at the hospital. Not a long time considering her friend was in a coma she didn't know when he'd wake from…if he awoke. But to Haley it already seemed like days-weeks even.

She didn't know why they made hospitals into places you couldn't wait to leave. Wanting to leave the place was a given, but to add the pale lifeless colors of death only made those waiting for it, hoping against it, so much worse. She'd been staring at a horrid watercolor of some Mediterranean town on the wall when a nurse had come in to check on Lucas. She stood back as she worked around him, folding her arms around herself to ward off the constant chill. Another gem of death she wished didn't surround them.

Skillz and Mouth had come by to visit with him and had left a little while ago, both at a loss for words. Karen had gone to the chapel and Brooke had been scarce since she'd come in to tell her and Nathan that Peyton was on her way. The brunette was acting strangely, acting guilty. She would have brushed it off, after all of them were harboring a certain measure of guilt. But it was Brooke's willingness to call Peyton that gave her pause when in the past Brooke had spoken of Peyton with nothing less than contempt. She knew Brooke had a good heart, but no one was that good.

The nurse finished up and Haley stepped forward returning the smile that the nurse gave her as best she could. "How is he?"

"He's holding his own dear," she replied. "He needs time to heal. He's been through quite an ordeal."

"You have no idea," Haley muttered under her breath as she reclaimed her seat beside Lucas's bed. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it, feeling despair claw at her.

She didn't know what was wrong with Brooke and she couldn't bring herself to care either as she looked at the pale unmoving form of her best friend. It was the most at peace she'd seen him in years.

"Lucas," she whispered. The monitors continued their strangely comforting, steady beeps and she let out a shaking breath. "Lucas…I'm sorry. I thought-I thought I was protecting you and her. I don't know why-It's like one of those thing that seems to make sense at the time. I justified it and I told myself that I was doing the right thing…..even as I saw you falling Luke and for that I will never forgive myself."

Haley sniffed, wiping her tears haphazardly with one arm. "I know I have no right to say this these days-especially today and all those other days I saw you hurting because she wasn't here, but you are my best friend. I love you Lucas. I love you."

She sighed and silence reigned in the room, save the steady blips of the monitors that continued on and her own sniffles. She found it strange how their lives had come to a stop as Lucas was choosing whether to stay in this life or go. It was as though his destination determined which way they would all turn. Haley hoped that for all their sakes Lucas would choose life.

"She's coming Lucas," Haley whispered, her voice thick with tears. She kissed his hand and squeezed it, praying he could hear her. "Peyton's coming. Just-hang on, okay? Please."

The monitor's steady rhythm was her only reply…

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