Mario: This is the last Shine Sprite I'll have to get here, right, FLUDD?
FLUDD: Correct. And guess what?
Mario: What?
FLUDD: Noki Bay is next.
Mario: .................
FLUDD: You are going to resist temptation lest you destroy half the Earth. You can kill me and kill yourself and everyone within a hundred mile radius, or you can tough it out and keep your life.
Mario: It still is tempting, throwing you over that cliff.
FLUDD: And believe me, it's more than tempting to use my Self-Destructor.
Mario: You know, why exactly does Shadow Mario appear every so often in these places and then just run from me?
FLUDD: Because he's a weenie. It's a free Shine Sprite. Be thankful.
Mario: I'm just thinking that one of these days, it'd be awesome to engage in a firefight with him.
FLUDD: Be careful what you wish for, Mario.
Mario: I could handle it.
FLUDD: Could you?
Mario: Yup.
FLUDD: Then perhaps you'd be pleased to know that Shadow Mario is listening in on us now, grinning mischievously and planning to bring his AK-47 next time you meet.
Mario stops, petrified. He looks around him but sees nothing.
Mario: [calling out around him] Alright, we'll have the gunfight later! But don't bring your AK-47!
Pianta Policeman: Hey! Get him!
Seventeen policemen plus a gorilla jump on Mario and beat him to a pulp. The next thing he knows, he's in jail.
Mario: FLUDD?
FLUDD: [with mock sweetness] Yes, Mario?
Mario: Was Shadow Mario actually out there listening to me?
FLUDD: No.
Mario: You got me beaten to a pulp, thrown in jail, and humiliated, all for a little laugh?
FLUDD: Of course not. I can't laugh.
Mario: BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT YOU GAIN ENJOYMENT FROM MY MISERY!!!! You ask me to stay focused on my task, and then you constantly get me thrown in jail! I don't get it!!
FLUDD: I am constantly testing you to see if your IQ has increased to more than a rock's. Apparently, it hasn't.
Mario: Why me?
FLUDD: I ask myself that every day.
Pianta Policeman: Okay, jerk! Time to go to court!
Mario: What? Going to court the moment I get into jail?
FLUDD: The Piantas work differently than most other people do. All people go to court the moment they are in jail, and in the entire history of Piantas, not a single person has been found innocent.
Pianta Policeman: Get in there!!
The cop throws Mario into a chair. Mario whacks his head against the counter in front of him and goes limp in his chair.
Judge: Court is now in session!
Pianta: Mario is guilty!
Mario: Now wait a minute, wait a minute! Let's not go through this again! Let's see some EVIDENCE as to why I'm guilty! Normal court sessions last longer than five seconds!
Pianta: [confused] No, they don't.
Mario: Okay, SMART people who have BRAINS have longer court sessions!
The Pianta punches Mario, and he goes unconscious.
Pianta: So where were we? Ah, yes...Mario is guilty!
Judge: Court adjourned!
Mario's limp body is dragged back to the jail cell, where he is thrown in. Mario wakes back up.
Mario: What happened?
FLUDD: You got punched and went unconscious.
Mario: What was the result?
FLUDD: You were found guilty.
Mario: How do I get out of here?
FLUDD: Use your brain.
Mario sees a Pianta kid with an ice cream cone wandering around outside the cell's window.
Mario: Hey! Hey, kid! Can you do a favor for me?
The kid stares at Mario blankly.
Mario: I want you to get me out of here! Can you find something to wrench the bars open with?
The kid still stares at Mario blankly.
Mario: You do speak my language, right?
Still no response.
Mario: Well, whatever! If you can't find something to wrench the bars open with, can you get those keys from the guard?
Mario turns and indicates a sleeping Pianta in uniform outside the cell, holding a powdered doughnut in his hand. Every few seconds, he unconsciously lifts the doughnut to his mouth, then drops it back down as he snores.
Mario: And be sure to put them back when you're done! I'll pay you ten coins if you can get me out of here!
The kid walks into the jail cell and taps the guard roughly on the shoulder. Mario silently grabs his head and mouths "What are you doing!?!"
Pianta Kid: Hey, mister! Can you give me those keys so I can get him out of here? He's paying me ten coins to do it.
Guard: Huh!?! What!?! Oh...sure...go a-zzzzzzzz....
To his surprise, the kid gets the keys, unlocks Mario's cell, and lets him out. Mario pats him on the head, pays him the promised ten coins, and finally lets out his breath he was holding in. He walks out, a free man. On his way back to the cannon, he spies a poster on a wall. It has a picture of a really fat man with a mustache. The poster says, "Wanted: Man who murdered Sand Bird and destroyed marine life around Pinna Island. Reward: Two million coins. Criminal is supposed to be eight hundred pounds and four-foot-two in height."
Mario: I am leaving Isle Delfino as soon as possible.
FLUDD: And to do that, you must clean up the island.
Mario: Couldn't I just escape using you?
FLUDD: I could always self-destruct.
Mario: Look, it's not my fault I was framed for this mess! Can't you help me escape?
FLUDD: Maybe so, but do you want to live as an outlaw for the rest of your life, constantly changing your appearance and identity? Running from the law, who will likely have Luigi hired to track down and kill you, unaware that he's hunting his brother? Abandoning Princess Peach and the rest of your friends?
Mario: Alright, alright! Why can't they just escape with me?
FLUDD: Then they'd all become outlaws. Just focus on getting the Shine Sprites.
Mario grumbles all the way to the cannon. He glares at the cannon guy.
Mario: Can you shoot correctly next time?
Cannon Pianta: Didn't I shoot you correctly last time?
Mario: No, you shot me into the Ferris wheel and made it go all screwy!
Cannon Pianta: Oh, so it WASN'T a meteorite that damaged it!
Mario: Just shoot accurately this time!
Cannon Pianta: Okay, hop in!
Mario jumps in and covers his ears. The Cannon Pianta counts down outside. Mario gets launched high into the air.
Mario: Ohhhh yeah! This time, it's gonna be awesome!
FLUDD: If only you knew.
Mario: Huh?
FLUDD: Look below you.
Mario looks down and sees that he's only made it halfway to Pinna Park.
FLUDD: It is approximately another mile to Pinna Island. You will have to swim the remaining distance.
Mario: What!?! What if a Blurp or a giant Blooper gets me?
FLUDD: [with mocking sarcasm] Don't worry. Some madman killed off all the sea creatures.
Mario lands into the deep blue ocean and swims back to the surface. He looks at Pinna Island.
Mario: I'm going to have to swim all the way to THERE!?!
FLUDD: It's that or swim back to Delfino Plaza. But seeing as you're smack in the middle of the distance, it would be smarter to swim for Pinna Island.
An hour later, a soggy, exhausted figure crawls onto the beaches of Pinna Island.
Mario: I finally made it...how long's it been since I started swimming, FLUDD?
FLUDD: About an hour. The tedium was overwhelming.
Mario: Yeah, you didn't have to do any of the work!
FLUDD: I could have, you know.
Mario: Huh?
FLUDD: You could have just used my Hover Nozzle to propel you through the water.
Mario: And why the heck didn't you tell me that before!?!
FLUDD: Because I wanted to see if you were smart enough to pick up on it. Which, apparently, you weren't.
Mario: Well, thanks a lot, FLUDD!!!
FLUDD: You're welcome.
Mario rests for another hour or so, drying out and heating up. Finally, he is ready to take on the next challenge.
Mario: Okay, so what do I have to do this time?
FLUDD: See those twenty balloons floating around the park?
Mario: Yeah....
FLUDD: Talk to the Noki in charge of the roller coaster.
Mario walks up to the elevated area and talks to the Noki.
Mario: What are all the balloons for?
Noki: It's a challenge! You're supposed to ride on the roller coaster and shoot all the balloons with rockets! If you win, you get a Shine Sprite!
Mario: Now wait just a minizzle! You're keeping one of Isle Delfino's power sources! You need to give it back!
Noki: [dollar signs appearing in his eyes] But it brings in the mooooneyyyy....
Mario: I officially hate Isle Delfino!!
FLUDD: You won't convince him otherwise. Get on the roller coaster.
Mario groans and hops in.
Noki: Okay! Have fun! [starts counting the fistful of coins he's been given]
Mario: So I just blow these balloons up with rockets?
FLUDD: Yes. Here comes a rocket now.
Mario screws on the rocket and takes aim at a group of balloons. He fires. The rocket heads straight for the balloons. At the last second, it changes direction. Mario turns and glares at the Noki, who is using a remote control and grinning greedily. When he sees Mario, he hides it behind his back and starts whistling. Mario gets another rocket and fires it at another balloon. Again, it changes directions. With his third rocket, Mario turns and shoots it at the Noki. A high-pitched scream is heard as he narrowly avoids the rocket. When Mario's car zooms by, he snatches the remote from the Noki.
Mario: Thanks, but I prefer not being ripped off!
Mario gets another rocket and controls it to go through all twenty of the balloons. The ride comes to a stop. Mario grins at the Noki.
Mario: Well? Where's my prize?
Noki: Uh, you can't get it yet! You have to wait a few years to get it!
Mario: I'm a patient man.
FLUDD: Yeah, right.
Mario: Shut up, FLUDD.
Noki: And after those years are up, you have to do it again, wait three more years, and continue doing it until you've done it fifteen times! And then you--
Mario: Shut up and give me the stupid Shine Sprite.
Noki: I forgot where I placed it!
Mario: That glass container behind you might be a nice place to start.
Noki: How did that get there? It wasn't there a second ago!
Mario: Yeah, sure. Open it up, you cheap scammer.
Noki: I lost the keys!
Mario: Sure you did. Listen, if you don't open this up, I'm going to blast it open using a rocket.
Noki: Quick! Remove all of the rockets!
Mario hops into the car and races forward. A Pianta park employee rushes toward the track and attempts to snatch the rocket, but Mario grabs it first. Using the remote, he guides it into the glass container and frees the Shine Sprite. He hops out of the car and grabs it.
Mario: Now none of your pathetic excuses will work anyway. I have the Shine Sprite! It's mine!
Mario runs off, cackling with maniacal laughter. He runs in the wrong direction and falls off the edge, screaming as he splats into the ground. Unpeeling himself from the ground, he runs toward the park entrance.