Hey everyone! Thank you for all the great reviews on the last chapter! I know I made you guys wait an awful long time but, next chapter Peyton and Lucas will finally be in the same room together! Not so exciting when you factor in that Lucas's state of unconsciousness, but hey it's a step in the right direction. ;)

To all you Bliss fanatics, I promise it is coming. I've just been very focused on this story since things are getting intense. So that said, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

In those quiet moments before you rise or before you close your eyes to sleep, or those moments you have to breath in between simply going through the motions of living, have you ever asked yourself, "How did I get here?"

We want to believe that our lives are ours what we make of it, that every turn we take is a conscious decision and perhaps, to an extent, that is true. But what of our lives is really ours to map out? How much is fate or providence? And how can any of us know where any chosen path leads when the road itself is long and winding?

It had been nearly three years since Peyton Sawyer had stepped foot in the town of Tree Hill with intentions never to set foot back in the place ever again. Now it seemed fate or providence had turned the road she had been traveling back towards the place she'd been running from. The prodigal child had returned.

As Peyton stood by the luggage counter, holding a drowsy Keith in one arm and a diaper bag in the other, feet surrounded by their suitcases, she was at a loss, and felt for the thousandth time that day like crying.

She'd been so preoccupied by packing Keith and herself up and getting the earliest flight possible, and overwhelmed at the prospect of returning home to Lucas too late, that she'd completely forgotten about a place to stay and a ride from the airport.

The panic of returning home with a child whose father she denied to herself and everyone else came full force and her instinct to flee would have taken her over had she not been so tired. She was tired of running. Her heart couldn't take it. And there was a man in that town whose heart had given up. Her mind thought frightfully that he may already be gone.

And just as the weariness and the despair threatened to bring her once again to her knees, the sparse crowd of Tree hill airport seemed to part and a pair of familiar blue eyes found her. Eyes unlike his brother's but holding the same amount of caring just the same.

He walked across the floor, hands in his pockets and came to a stop in front of her. He looked down at the small child, slowly opening his tired little eyes on his mother's shoulder. Peyton looked up at him with glassy eyes filling with tears, waiting for his reaction.

It hadn't occurred to her until she was on board the plane that Brooke said, Haley had told her who Keith's father was. She didn't know how she could have known, having only sent her a picture of Keith when he was a tiny baby. She expected anger from him, disappointment, but he simply leaned down a bit to get a look at his face and said,

"How's my nephew?"

"Nathan," she warbled. And then she broke down, dropping the diaper bag on top of the rest of the luggage and moved into his arms.

"How did you-"

"Jake called ahead. He said you might need a ride. And a place to stay. Jamie's old crib is already in the guest room," Nathan replied. "His old car seat is in the car."

"Nathan," Peyton sighed. "Thank you."

"Thanks for coming. I know this can't be easy for you."

Peyton's lip quivered a bit before she spoke, carefully and quietly. "How is he?"

Nathan shrugged slightly. "The same."

Peyton watched him look down, his eyes glazing over with sadness. Nathan Scott was not an overly emotional man and she could read the pain of what had been months of watching his brother suffer on his face. And it broke her heart.

"Nathan, I need to see him."

He nodded, sympathetically and reached down to pick up the suitcases. "I know you do, but visiting hours are over. They practically had to kick Haley out of the hospital."

Peyton looked at the clock on the airport wall and gapped. She hadn't even realized how late it was. She looked down at her sleeping son, thankful that he'd inherited her old ability to sleep through anything including being packed up and taken on a late three and a half hour flight.

"It's just as well, I guess. Keith should sleep in a real bed tonight and I'm sure you must be dead on your feet too after that flight. You've been up for hours," Nathan said, putting the luggage into the back of his Explorer.

Peyton shook her head. "I don't really need to sleep," she mumbled. She knew sleep wouldn't be visiting her tonight either. Nathan looked at her dubiously before opening the back door so she could strap Keith in. He could see the circles under her eyes and the ashen color of her face. The girl looked like she could sleep for a week and still need a few extra hours.

When they were finally on the road Peyton turned to him, the question nagging at her brain through the entire flight spilling out. "How did you and Haley know about Keith?"

Nathan glanced at her. He figured she meant how they both knew Lucas was Keith's father. "Peyton it didn't really take a rocket scientist to know something happened at Tric between you and my brother. The timing of you giving birth seemed off to Haley, who had been keeping in pretty regular contact with Jake," Nathan explained.

"About six or seven months ago, Jake sent us a picture of him and….honestly Peyton we knew as soon as we saw him. You can't mistake those eyes. You just can't."

He glanced into the rearview mirror at the sleeping boy. "He looks like you Sawyer, but there's no mistaking that he's Lucas's son."

Peyton looked down at her lap. She was ashamed of how many tears her life had been made up of over past few years, but in the past twelve hours these tears were giving the amount she's shed in the past a run for their money.

"You must think I'm a monster for doing that to him," Peyton whispered, looking down at her lap.

"Peyton, what you did was wrong," Nathan said in a no-nonsense way. "Really wrong, but…I can't be mad at you completely because I did the same thing. I kept his son from him."

"Why did you?"

Nathan shook his head. As he thought about his brother and how he'd been and where he was now, there was only one thing he could say.

"I don't know."

"Was-was it really as bad as Brooke said it was?"

"I don't know what Brooke said to you, but yeah it probably was and is worse," Nathan explained. "He turned into someone I didn't recognize anymore, someone you wouldn't recognize either. I won't sugarcoat it, Peyton. He's been bad for a long time."

Peyton turned her face away after a moment, shutting her eyes to it all. His words were crushing. She'd always assumed Lucas was happy. After all he had Brooke and he'd always found a measure of happiness with Brooke when they weren't fighting about her. She'd never imagined it would come to this.

"Hey," Nathan called, sympathetically, his voice held a slight hint of panic. When she'd turned away from him, he assumed she was done talking until he saw her shoulders shaking. He hated it when girls cried. He didn't have a way with words like his brother so he'd always just hugged until the girl was silent. And by girl, he meant Haley. Now he sat helplessly as Peyton cried silently beside him.

"I told him I hated him," Peyton's voice rang suddenly. "The night K-Keith was conceived, I said I hated him. Those were the last words I said to hi-him Nathan."

"Hey, they won't be the last," he said assuredly.

"This is my fault," she whimpered.

"Don't say that. We all made choices, Peyton. Haley and I made the choice not to tell Lucas what we knew about Keith. We chose not to do whatever it took to get Lucas help, even if it meant him or even you hating us. Brooke chose to ignore Lucas's drinking and Karen chose Dan. And Lucas…"

Nathan shrugged. "Lucas chose to give up and that's not any of our faults, no matter how guilty all of us feel for the pain he's in. And we all feel guilty. I don't know that I'll ever get over mine because I'll always think there was something I could have done. But for you Peyton, you have to know that…Lucas can live without you, he just…he didn't want to. And from the looks of you, you didn't want to either."

Peyton shot him a look. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I know you're technically not supposed to say this to a girl, but you don't look so hot, Sawyer. In fact, you look like you've been as bad as he has."

"Well thanks a lot," Peyton snapped, a glimmer of the old Peyton Sawyer spark lighting her eyes with annoyance. "It's kind of hard to look like a beauty queen when your ex-best friend calls to say the guy she's been dating for years, the same guy who broke your heart and fathered your child, had a heart attack because he stopped taking his medication. Plus everyone seems to think its fun to feed me this crap about Lucas still giving a shit about me."

"Peyton, it's not crap," Nathan insisted. "There hasn't been a day has gone by since you left that he hasn't loved you."

Peyton scoffed and shook her head, looking away to hide the effect his words had on her. She had tried so hard to lock that love away and was clearly unwilling to believe it when Nathan said he loved her.

"Fine," Nathan snapped, his annoyance bubbling over unexpectedly and uncharacteristically. "Believe what you want, Sawyer. But we both know why he hasn't been the same since you left and we both know why you're here now looking like you haven't slept, let alone eaten in months."

"Nathan," Peyton gapped at him, angrily. "It's not that easy. You don't know what happen-"

"You're right, Peyton. I don't know what happened. Hell I don't even think Lucas knows what happened," Nathan fumed, keeping his voice low for the sake of the sleeping boy in the backseat.

"There is one thing that is a fact in all this Sawyer and you may be too bullheaded to see it, but I sure as hell am done living in denial. Although it's nice to see you haven't changed," he added with sarcasm. "It's strangely comforting."

"Screw you Nathan," Peyton hissed, keeping her voice low, but just as deadly. Things between her and Lucas had always been complicated and painful. From the beginning to the end. He had no right lecturing her about things he didn't understand, she thought. Love wasn't supposed to hurt this much, was it? They had come together twice and every time, all their love managed to do was betray Brooke and clobber her heart.

"You have no idea what you're talking about. He hurt me," she seethed through clenched teeth. ALL YOU DO IS HURT ME, she remembered screaming at him years ago. God it all pained her, even now after years of telling herself it was over.

Nathan only rolled his eyes. "I gathered that, Sawyer. You were out of Tree Hill so fast after graduation you left skid marks. And still no one has any idea why. What the hell happened at that party? It has been five years and you're obviously still pissed about it."

"I'm surprised Brooke didn't go around telling everyone," Peyton muttered, darkly, as she remembered the night that sent her and Lucas on separate roads once and for all. The images were still fresh in her brain and still just as painful as the night she'd witnessed them.

Nathan narrowed his eyes and glanced quickly at Peyton at the mention of Brooke. He'd seen Brooke shortly before he and Haley left and he'd asked her if she'd known what had happened to Peyton. The brunette had denied seeing her at all with a nonchalant shrug.

"I had no idea Brooke was even in that equation," Nathan said finally. "All I know is the next morning you had been found passed out on the side of the road and Fergie called me to come get Lucas who was passed out in one of the rooms upstairs. Lucas had no idea how he'd gotten there. There is no one who can tell me why you ran out of there that night before except you."

It was Peyton's turn to pause and she furrowed her brows, slightly. She'd been told before that Lucas didn't recall anything from the night before, but that had been from Lucas and she'd thought he was just feeding her a line.

"Lucas was alone?"

At Peyton's baffled voice, Nathan became even more insistent on finding out the truth and replied in frustration, "Yeah. Peyton, seriously, what the hell happened that night?"

Peyton hadn't told anyone about the details of that night. Not even Jake. It was a hurt she'd locked away and never revisited. Now with all that was going on, she felt vulnerable and cracked, helpless to keep everything within from spilling out.

"I was looking for Lucas. I knew Brooke was still hurt, but I finally realized that our not being together was just causing us all more pain. He'd told me earlier that night that he still loved me and he wanted to be with me. It just seems like every time I pull my head out of my own ass it's to find Lucas has moved on. And it's always with Brooke," she paused, her voice sounded far away and Nathan had to strain to hear her.

"I wanted to be with him, Nathan, but when I found him he was upstairs with Brooke and they were…." Peyton shook her head to block the mental picture, tears burning her eyes at the memory while Nathan made a mental note to talk to Brooke later about her lie.

"It broke my heart. They saw me Nathan and Brooke's look was so hateful, but Lucas just-he looked confused as to why I was even there. It hurt so much to see, after he'd told me he loved me, that I was the only one. He's done this to me before, Nathan. He slept with Brooke after I ruined things at Dan's party. He slept with Nikki after we messed things up with Brooke the first time. Does those sound like the actions of a man in love to you?"

"Lucas is an idiot," Nathan sighed after taking a moment to digest what he'd just heard. "That much is clear. But as bad as this sounds, he still loved you when he slept with Nikki. He loved you when he got with Brooke and I think he loved you even when he was fighting to get Brooke back. He loved you when Keith was conceived, and you loved him all those times you were pushing him away."

"It's not supposed to be this hard Nathan," Peyton cried with frustration. "All our love ever did was cause pain."

"Peyton, Haley and I are proof that maybe it is supposed to be hard. We've hurt each other and we've nearly fallen apart, but that hard stuff is what makes it worth it. Look, I won't deny that you and Lucas are like the worst lovers in history, but that guy loves you. Without a doubt he loves you, Peyton. And you love him too. Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

They finally came to a stop in front of his house and he turned off the ignition. He looked at Peyton, who had returned her gaze out the window. Her arms were wrapped around herself, protectively.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," she whispered, shaking her head. She didn't know what to believe. That Lucas really loved her, that perhaps he didn't remember what happened that night and he'd been agonizing over it for years. She knew what she saw and she knew it had broken her heart to pieces that hadn't come back together yet. Not to mention the night at Tric when Keith was conceived. Yes, he'd said he loved her but, it was yet another betrayal for Brooke and yet another example of the pain their love bought. But despite that pain, she also knew her son deserved to know his father and that no matter how much she wanted to deny it, she was still and would always be heart and soul in love with Lucas Scott. And now we may both lose him, she thought.

Her eyes turned to Nathan's, desperate for answers. "How did we get here Nathan?"

"I don't know, Sawyer," Nathan sighed, taking her hand and attempting to find the words that we have to tell ourselves to keep going after we realize we have lost our way.

"But we're here, and we got to keep moving and do the best with what we've got and hope we can fight our way back on track. It's all we can do. That and hope."

Peyton bit her lip. No magic words, no magic solution, no map. Just acceptance that we do what we need to.

A soft sigh from behind them, and he followed Peyton's eyes to Keith who was stirring.

"Besides that," he added, "there's proof in the backseat that your love didn't just cause pain, Peyton. And that makes it all worth fighting for, too."

He squeezed her hand and after a moment Peyton smiled...and she squeezed back.

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