A/N: Song is from Sarah Mclachlan's Mirrorball CD, You Do What You Have to Do.

Yesterday had not been a dream. She knew because she'd been up all night thinking about it, closing her eyes and wishing that when she opened them, not only would this all not have happened but that time would have somehow rewound. She thought about all the things she would do differently if she could just get another chance. It's something we all do from time to time, maybe all the time. The kicker is in thinking we would do things differently.

Haley wasn't sure if she would. She was just thankful that she had not gotten a call during the night, well other than Nathan asking her what kind of foods she thought Peyton's fourteen month old ate. But when he had called the shrill ringing had sent her into a panic that had kept her fingers shaking long after she'd hung up.

That was the strange thing about family. A family's road is forever bound to one another, no matter how far of how different a path one might take. She had considered her life with her little family unit of Nathan and Jamie, separate from all of the drama with Lucas, although he remained a constant thought on her mind throughout the years. When she thought of him, she thought the dark road her friend had decided to walk separate from her own. Her own path had been headed towards something better. Or so she thought. Because now it seemed they all stood together in the same place. Maybe she had not taken the path she thought she had, because in the end they were all standing on the precipice of something dark, something that could potentially be very bad for them all. Certainly for the woman and baby downstairs.

Haley let out a sigh.

"Couldn't sleep either huh?"

Haley turned towards the warm, comforting voice of her husband and raised a corner of her mouth in greeting. "No," she huffed, cuddling into Nathan's side. "I guess yesterday happened huh?"

It was Nathan's turn to let out a breath. "Yeah," he murmured, soberly. "It did."

"God, Jamie was awake when I got home last night. He's so worried about his uncle."

"We all are," Nathan replied, brows furrowed in thought.

"So…how is she?"

"Who?"

"Peyton," Haley rolled her eyes. "How does she look? And the baby."

Nathan sighed again. "Hales, when called, he told me I wouldn't recognize her. And I don't. She's still Peyton, but much sadder, less sure of herself. She says she has insomnia and I believe her. She looks like she hasn't slept in ages."

"Oh man," Haley moaned, sympathetically. "I guess things won't get much easier on her up here."

"Not with the explaining she's gonna have to do about Keith," Nathan replied. At the mention of his nephew a smile touched his face and Haley looked at him questioningly. "Keith, though," Nathan grinned. "Keith is the best of both of them, Hales."

Haley's face melted into a genuine smile. "Yeah?"

"He's amazing Haley. It'll blow you away. He's one hundred percent Lucas's son."

The pair sobered after a brief moment. The child that Lucas knew nothing about just added another layer to the tragedy. "God Nathan, that little boy. It just breaks my heart. I know Lucas hurt her, but keeping Keith from his father…I just can't believe she did it."

"We all did it," Nathan corrected dourly. "But Peyton was the one who did it because she was hurt."

"How hurt do you have to be, to keep someone's child from them?" Haley huffed.

"Well, do you remember that party senior year? The one Lucas can't remember?"

"God, how could I forget. Something happened to Peyton and we still don't know what it is"

"I do," Nathan replied. "Peyton told me what happened."

Haley raised her eyebrows and turned to look at him.

"She did? Well, what the heck happened?"

"Apparently, Peyton went upstairs to find Lucas. She was going to try and fix things with him. When she found him, he was with Brooke. From what I gathered they were either having sex or were about to when Peyton walked in on them. That's why she ran from the party and from Tree Hill."

"What?!" Haley gapped, sitting up and turning fully to face him. "I don't believe that," she said, shaking her head with finality. "I don't believe that at all. Nathan I know Lucas Scott and I saw him after him and Peyton parted, you saw him. Lucas may do some dumbass things when it comes to girls, but he would have never done that to Peyton. He's too in love with her. He was crushed after they split."

Nathan sat up as well, swinging his feet off the bed. "I don't doubt that, Hales. And I don't believe it either, but Peyton isn't lying. You saw her Hales. You said she was a mess."

"So what are you saying then Nathan?" Haley asked, watching him walk to their closet to pull out a pair of jeans.

"If that's what went down, why is it that Lucas has no recollection of that ever happening and why is it that when we saw Brooke later, she said she hadn't seen Peyton."

Haley furrowed her brows. She wasn't sure that she liked where Nathan was going with this. Brooke had been angry at Peyton and Lucas, but she couldn't imagine her stooping to such a level just to hurt Peyton. Her mind searched for alternatives.

"Maybe, Brooke didn't see Peyton in the room."

"No-Peyton told me they both saw her. Brooke looked her dead in the eyes and it wasn't a friendly look either."

"Nathan….." Haley said slowly, shaking her head. "You don't think.."

"Was Brooke mad enough to set them up?"

"Nathan!" Haley flew to her feet. "You're being ridiculous," Haley scoffed, uncertainly. "Brooke, she called Peyton yesterday to come up here for Lucas."

"Yeah, why? Haley no girlfriend is that understanding and the Brooke Davis we know would not have put up with the type of boyfriend Lucas has been to her. Lucas has been punishing himself, and Brooke has been doing the same. I'm not jumping to any conclusions, I'm just saying something doesn't add up. Someone is lying and I'm going to figure out who."

"Okay hold on there, Colombo," Haley sighed, raising her hands. What worried her most was Lucas's lack of memory and she knew it worried Nathan too. But she didn't want to go there, couldn't go there. Not now.

"Look Nathan, as much as I'd like to play detective with you we have bigger things to worry about. Lucas is in a coma and Peyton is going to need our support."

"Yeah," Nathan mumbled, resigning himself to letting it go for now. "A coma I guarantee you he wouldn't be in if Peyton hadn't of walked in on what she did in senior year. But hey…that's just a theory."

"You may be right," Haley shrugged, pulling on a sweatshirt. "But until you find a time machine to go back and fix things lets just focus on getting to the hospital."

Nathan nodded and went into the bathroom to shower while Haley switched gears and steeled herself to greet her new houseguest. Throwing clothing on quickly she jogged down the stairs, glancing at her watch. Visiting hours would start soon and she knew Karen would need a break. She was anxious to get to the hospital and beyond thankful that Deb was helping out with Jamie.

As she approached she could hear them. Jamie was talking between bites of his cereal and Deb was telling him to slow down. Although she couldn't hear her, she knew Peyton was there and as she walked in she saw not only was she right, but little Keith was with her in Jamie's old high chair.

Standing back, she regarded the woman she hadn't seen in two years. Nathan was right. Peyton wasn't the same. Physically it was the same woman, a little older, a bit thinner, hair an few inches longer. But she looked tired and Haley wondered if she'd gotten any sleep last night at all. What was more, she could feel an aura of sadness around her that felt frighteningly familiar to her. The same sadness had followed Lucas around before his heart attack.

Haley sighed, shaking the many regretful thoughts from her head. Right now Lucas's health was their main priority. They would sort out the rest later. A soft giggle floated towards her ears and breathlessly Haley looked at Keith. Nathan was right about him too. The blue of his eyes shot out at her from across the room making her long for the eyes that were their match to open.

"He thinks I'm funny!" Jamie cried happily, a spoon dangling from is nose. Catching sight of his mother he grinned. "Momma," he cried, making Peyton turn to stare at her. "Keith thinks I'm funny!"

"That's because you are funny, bug," Haley replied finally entering the kitchen, her eyes meeting Peyton's who was moving to stand.

"Hey Hales," her voice seemed hoarse, like she'd spent most of the night crying. "Thanks for letting us sta-" Haley surprised her, by throwing her arms around her and squeezing.

"Welcome home," she whispered, pulling back to look up at her with shining eyes. She glanced down at Keith and added, "both of you."

Peyton looked down at her son and then back at her friend. She didn't trust herself to speak and Haley thankfully didn't push her. Instead she moved to the baby, leaning down to get a better look at him.

She felt her heart break all over again as the child stared back at her calmly, a hint of shyness in his demeanor, and she couldn't help but gasp, "My God, Peyton he's just like him."

"Haley," Peyton murmured, quietly. She was afraid if she raised her voice anymore she would start to cry. The remainder of her night had been spent laying awake and letting memory after memory of Lucas Scott take hold of her. And she wondered what other memories could have been if she had told Lucas that she was pregnant. She honestly didn't know whether he still loved her or not. But, she knew that she loved him and she wasn't afraid to say it anymore. She loved Lucas Scott and she would love him until the day she died. She had said it to herself again and again until she wept. Her new fear was that he would never hear it.

Haley looked up at her and there was so much sadness and longing in her eyes that she felt like she was looking at Lucas. Haley knew what she was going to say before Peyton even opened her mouth.

"I need to see him."

Brooke had been sitting and staring at his prostrate form for a long time now, but she didn't hold his hand or talk to him. She just stared.

She had sent a reluctant Karen home to shower, change, and to check on the café a while ago. Skillz, Rachel, Bevin, Mouth, Fergie, Junk, even some of Lucas's coworkers had all called to make sure Lucas had survived the night. She knew Haley and Nathan were on their way and she knew who was with them.

Yet even with all these people who cared, Lucas had decided life just wasn't worth the effort anymore. And for what, Brooke thought, staring back down at the item in her hands. What was it about Peyton Sawyer that would always have such a hold on him?

She had been cleaning up the apartment from top to bottom when she'd stumbled across the proof. Feeling slightly crazed by the discovery she'd opened his laptop and found his thoughts poured out onto the screen. She opened file after file of his work, knowing that this made her the crazy snoopy girlfriend that no one wanted to be or be with. Unfortunately, she had crossed that bridge a long a time ago. This was just what she needed to separate herself from the love story that was Lucas and Peyton's.

There was a very big file entitled AnUnkindness, a short sad story about a scientist and a comet that never returned, and all the rest….Words of self-hatred, resentment, hopelessness, fear, and hurt. And beneath the pain of every word was a love so strong even the pain couldn't contain it.

And he'd written about her too - What self respecting woman stays with a man who barely sees her, drinks himself stupid everyday, and imagines he is with someone else when he makes love to her?

Indeed. Her bags were now sitting beside the front door of their apartment.

The shrill ringing of her phone in her purse brought her out of her thoughts. Wanting to avoid being blacklisted by the nurses as a disturber of the peace, she silenced it and stood to leave the room so she could answer it. And when she stepped out of Lucas's room she caught sight of Nathan stepping off the elevator followed by Haley. Their presence could only mean one thing.

She watched Peyton step off the elevator and as soon as she did their eyes locked. Brooke was startled at what she saw. In all her years of knowing, loving and hating Peyton Sawyer she'd seen the girl take beating after emotional beating and still keep swinging. It was what she envied most about her. But the Peyton that was walking towards her clutching a baby in her arms, looked like she'd gone one last round with the universe and lost.

Guiltily she thought, I've got a little something to do with that. Her guilt, however waned once the woman got closer and the baby turned his face towards her. My God, she thought. This was the child conceived when Lucas had cheated on her. And there was no doubt he was Lucas Scott's son. A son that, had he known would have kept us all out of this hospital. A son he had always dreamed of having with her, because he'd written about it-All the dreams he had involved only one woman. And she was simply the road bump he slept next to, she thought sadly, even bitterly.

Haley shut her mouth and exchanged a glance with Nathan, while Peyton held Keith closer, protectively at Brooke's stare.

"Brooke, is Karen here?"

Blinking, Brooke tore her eyes away from the child and realized Haley had been speaking to her for quite some time.

"What?"

"Karen," Haley said for the third time. "Is she here?"

"No," Brooke murmured, distractedly, her gaze straying back towards Keith. "Just me."

"Um…Brooke," Haley started, awkwardly, as Brooke approached Peyton and Keith with an unreadable expression in her eyes. She took one of Peyton's hands and pressed the item she'd been holding in Lucas's room, into it.

Brooke's eyes looked into Peyton's again, feeling anger and defeat bubbling to the surface. She thought she could handle this, even after finding proof that her boyfriend not only resented her, but wished everyday that she was someone else, even after finding proof that he didn't want to live. She had been ready to handle it all, until she saw Keith.

Confused Peyton looked down at what Brooke had placed in her hand. "What are these?" she asked.

"They're his pills," Brooke replied, through clenched teeth, before walking away, leaving Peyton staring at the spot she had been standing in.

"Oh my God," Haley whispered. Nathan pressed his lips together angrily at the implications. They'd all had an idea, but now the physical proof was in Peyton's hands.

Peyton turned the untouched bottle over and looked at his name printed upon it and suddenly felt sick and angry. He had wanted to die. Had he done this because of her? Was his life that bad? Had she hurt him that much?

The bottle slipped from her hands and to the floor, cracking open and scattering the small white capsules everywhere.

Uncaring of the mess she'd made she turned to Haley, her eyes glued to his room.

"Hold him Haley," she heard herself say, placing her son in the other woman's arms. Stepping over the pills she hurried to his room and opened the door. And finally their stars once again crossed. All her breath left her as she laid eyes upon him again, laying lifelessly on the bed, tubes attached to different parts of his body to monitor him-steady beeps to let them know he was alive.

She lurched forward, almost without thought to his bedside. Reaching a trembling hand out, she touched his scruffy but still handsome face, dragging it down to his jaw and his neck. And then gently she placed her hand over his heart, the other clasped his hand desperately.

"Lucas," she whispered, her voice coming out strangled. It was then she realized the front of her shirt was wet from tears that had been falling unbidden down her face. Now was the time to finally tell him she loved him and pray he heard her. Now was the time to let all of those feeling that had been locked up inside out and hope it gave him reason enough to come back to her.

Peyton gazed at him through blurry eyes, overwhelmed with tears, choked by love….

"You stupid son of a bitch," she cried, lowering her head down to where their hands were connected and wept. "You're an idiot Lucas Scott. You stupid, stupid, stupid man."

"That should get him up."

Peyton didn't even bother raising her head as she continued to cry on their joined hands. Instead she voiced the fear that had been plaguing her from the moment she got the call.

"What if he won't come back for me, Nathan?" She felt his hand fall comfortingly on her shoulder as she cried. "I need him to come back to me."

"He'll come back," Nathan said with the assuredness that they both needed.

"How do you know," she demanded, finally raising her head.

"I already told you. He loves you, Peyton, like I love Haley," he replied. "You just need to let him know you're here."

"He stopped taking his pills Nathan and it's my fault-"

"No-"

"Brooke gave them to me," Peyton said, shaking head. "That night at Tric, he begged me not to leave him, Nathan. And I did, for the second time, and now look at him."

"Peyton you can't blame yourse-"

"But I do Nathan," Peyton whispered, wiping away another tear. She hadn't once turned to look at the other Scott, but kept her eyes trained on Lucas. "I do. Don't get me wrong, I could strangle him right now for choosing the dark. But I chose it too. And, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of pretending I don't love him when he is all I think about and I'm tired of feeling like half my soul is missing."

She raised Lucas's hand to her lips. "I'm choosing love Nathan. And I am not leaving him ever again. Do you hear me? Lucas, I won't ever leave you again, but you have to come back to me so I can keep my promise, okay?"

"Just be with him, Peyton," Nathan said quietly. He stepped back. "I'll give you some time. I'll just be right outside."

Peyton nodded and heard the soft click of the door as it shut behind her. Hand still grasping Lucas's she scooted her chair closer and rested her head beside Lucas's, her lips beside his ear.

"Lucas," Peyton whispered. She stared at him hoping beyond hope that he would open his eyes, partly glad that he didn't. She knew that if he made it through this she would have to explain why she had kept Keith's existence from him and he may never want anything to do with her again. And as frightening as that thought was, she was oddly okay with it.

"Lucas, I'm not afraid anymore. I was scared," she whispered, feeling the truth of the statement even as she said it. A line out of a Sarah Mclachlan song popped into her head - deep within I'm shaken by the violence of existing for only you. That's how she loved him. It never seemed to matter if he was dating her best friend or she was with Jake. She simply couldn't escape it and that frightened her. She had been afraid of loving someone that much. She had been running from her feelings as much as she had been the pain of Lucas's betrayal.

But as she sat by his bedside, grasping his hand, soaking his pillow with her tears, she realized that love-real love- was not only about pain.

"Love isn't just a feeling, Luke," she said into his ear. "It's also a choice…and I choose to love you. I love you, Lucas. I love you. And I need you to fight. I know it hurts. I felt it too, but you need to fight like hell for me."

Like a human being love is capable of so many things, multi-faceted in its complexity. It's what we build our lives out of. It's chaos and hope…and as Peyton Sawyer figured out laying by the bedside of her lover…it is also surrender.

They're in the same room! I hope that was a good enough reunion, but then again Lucas is unconscious so I guess it's as good as that gets.