Mario falls screaming into the waters of Sirena Beach and swims up to the surface, hacking and coughing out the saltwater. To add insult to injury, FLUDD uses his Idiot Stopper while Mario's face is up. Choking, Mario falls beneath the waves, then resurfaces and coughs out the saltwater again. FLUDD uses his Idiot Stopper. The cycle repeats for five minutes until Mario, on the verge of death, toughs it out and swims to shore.
Mario: I hate you, FLUDD. I wish you would die.
FLUDD: I just couldn't resist.
Looking like a drowned Goomba (and they don't look pretty), Mario crawls up the beach and lies like a lump. Two Noki kids run up with a ball and stop in their tracks.
Noki Boy: What is it?
Noki Girl: I think it's a sailor. You can tell from the cap.
Noki Boy: Why does it say "M"?
Noki Girl: Probably stands for "Moron." Why else would a man of the sea drown in shallow water?
Noki Boy: Yeah, look at that big nose.
Noki Girl: He's so fat, too.
FLUDD: I couldn't agree more.
Noki Boy: Now what's THAT thing?
FLUDD: This poor sailor drowned while rocking out to "Through the Fire Flowers and Flames" by Yoshiforce. Moron that he was, he tripped over the railing of his ship, and the electricity of his headphones fried what was left of his brain.
Noki Boy: I guess it does stand for Moron.
Noki Girl: It's only proper that we give him a decent burial, then.
This "decent burial" consists of piling wet sand on him, packing it down, and placing his cap on the top. The Noki kids stand back in reverence.
Noki Boy: Goodbye, Sir Moron.
Noki Girl: I'm sure you were a nice, if stupid, person in life.
They both bow solemnly and walk back to the hotel grounds. A few seconds later, Mario leans up and yawns, sand forming a perfect cone on his head. Scratching his back, he grabs his cap beside him and puts it on top of the cone.
Mario: What happened while I was asleep?
FLUDD: You died. Two innocent Noki children gave you a burial in sand.
Mario: [not quite hearing everything FLUDD said] Hmm, that's nice. I guess I'd better go see what I need to do for this next Shine Sprite.
Mario stands up and walks to the source of commotion further up the beach. Yellow and blue goop covers the area. The tip of Mario's shoe touches some, and it instantly burns away. It's only then that he notices the electricity crackling along its surface. Humming nervously, he continues on his walk. On his way, he meets two Nokis arguing with a fat Pianta woman under a hut.
Noki Man: But we're dying of thirst!
Noki Woman: Don't you have anything we could drink?
Pianta Woman: I'm sorry, we're all out of everything.
Random Pianta Walking By: Gee, this sure is a good smoothie that I bought two minutes ago! I can't wait to drink some more of the smoothies I saw lined up on the shelf behind you!
The Random Pianta leaves. The Pianta Woman turns back to the two Nokis, who are glaring at her.
Pianta Woman: Okay, besides those drinks, we're all out.
Noki Man: Then give us those drinks!
Pianta Woman: Sorry, they're not for sale.
Noki Woman: Then why are they there?
Pianta Woman: Decorative purposes. [taking a card out of her pocket and reading it] That's what I was supposed to say, right?
Mario: I can't believe I've finally found someone as unlucky as me. Hey, I'll help you guys out. Just open up, and I'll spray some water into your mouths!
Grateful, they open their jaws. Mario sprays water into the Noki Man's mouth first. He swallows, then his eyes bulge and he clutches his throat.
Noki Man: What IS this stuff?
Mario: Just water, isn't it?
Mario squirts a drop into his hand and licks it. Saltwater. Oops.
Noki Man: I gotta drink something! Even this electric goop will do!
FLUDD: I would not advise -
Before the Noki Man can hear, he dives down to the nearest puddle of electric goop and slurps it up. The results are too graphic to depict, but the sound can be recorded.
Noki Man: *gurgle* *gurgle* *drip* *drip* *drip* *bubble* *bubble*
The three of them stare at the bubbling slime left of the Noki Man with horror. A Pianta hotel employee comes and scrubs it up, whistling to himself. The Noki Woman looks, terror-stricken, at what's left of her husband, dripping from the employee's mop.
Noki Woman: Oooh! Where is that fat -
She looks for Mario, but he has disappeared. The plumber hurries to another group of Piantas, hoping to distance himself from the awful accident.
Snobby Pianta Woman: What? What do you mean the hotel is missing?
Hotel Owner: Look, do you SEE a hotel behind me?
Snobby Pianta Woman: Well, fix it!
Hotel Owner: Hand me 5,000,000 coins and I'll see what I can do!
Dumb Pianta Man: Huh? The hotel's missing? Does that mean we can't sleep in it tonight?
Hotel Owner: No crap, genius! How am I supposed to get out of this mess?
Mario enters the scene just then. The Hotel Owner turns his head to him, looks him over, and rubs his chin.
Hotel Owner: Now THIS is a man I can use. Oh, please, you must help me! My hotel disappeared earlier today! Some weird electric stuff fell from the sky and blanketed everything, and this giant ghost thing appeared and terrorized everyone! Please, will you help clean the beach and destroy the evil ghost thingamajig?
Mario: [nodding and accidentally knocking some grains of sand off his head] Absolutely! I'm your man!
Hotel Owner: What? Really? You're seriously going to do something as retarded as that?
Mario: Do I LOOK like a man that can't be taken seriously?
The Hotel Owner hides back a snort and turns his back to Mario for a moment. After a few seconds, he turns around, completely normal again.
Hotel Owner: Very well, I'll give you the job of destroying the ghost thingamajig when next it appears. My job, meanwhile, will be to cheer you on from the sidelines and gasp in shock at every twist.
Mario smiles and walks away. After a few steps, the smile drops.
Mario: I'm going to die, aren't I?
FLUDD: Probably. I can't believe you agreed to it so nonchalantly.
Mario: Anything for a Shine Sprite, right?
Something moves on the horizon. Mario cups his hands over his eyes like a visor and squints. Something pinkish, large, pulsating...
Hotel Owner: [standing right behind Mario] AAAHHH! THAT GREAT, GOSSAMER GHOUL IS BACK! DO SOMETHING!
Mario: Geez, don't scream in my ear like that! I'm about to wet my pants as it is!
The big thing moves along the ground, coming closer and closer to Mario. Mario tries throwing a coconut at it. The coconut sizzles out of existence. He backs up to a palm tree, thinking.
Mario: Fine! If that's the way you want to do it, I'll fight shadow with shadow!
Holding his hands out and putting them together, his shadow creates the image of a bird. Mario makes eagle calls for emphasis and "flaps" to the giant creature, which resembles a manta ray. The manta roars, causing Mario's shadow to scream like a little girl and run away.
Mario: And now I have no shadow.
Peter Pan: I know how you feel, man.
Mario: It's nice to have somebody to sympathize with.
The manta comes even closer. Mario backs away and falls into a pool of water.
Peter Pan: Uh-oh! Gotta fly! [throwing pixie dust into the air] REALLY HOT BABES!
Mario: Great! This looks like the end for me! Get away from me, you big thing! GET AWAY!
Mario sprays water as a last resort. The manta groans and crackles with electricity. Seizing his opportunity, he unloads his water tank onto the manta. It splits into two smaller mantas. Grinning, Mario fills up FLUDD and runs off, spraying water as he does so. The manta continues splitting into smaller creatures.
Mario: Gee, this is really easy! I can't believe they couldn't handle this thing!
Mario splits apart the last big one. Suddenly, they all turn red and start shrieking repeatedly.
FLUDD: And now you've ticked them off. They're all coming for you now.
Mario counts at least a hundred of these things. After he picks his jaw up, he runs to the beach to buy himself some time. In his head, he imagines his upcoming fight. Wearing a ninja uniform, he splits them apart with his bare hands, flipping over a manta in slow motion. He lands on the other side of the beach and shoots a hadouken, destroying them all at once. He blows the smoke from his hands and crosses his arms. Mission accomplished.
Back in the present, Mario has no clue what he's going to do. He starts spraying the mantas with water as they come over the wall, blowing them up one by one. They eventually reach him and surround him, cutting off his escape. They tie him up and smack him back and forth with tennis rackets, creating a net out of other mantas. One manta grabs a referee's outfit, and another sets up a sign that says "Moron Ball Tournament This Way." Eventually, Mario has enough and manages to reach FLUDD's triggers, spraying water everywhere. He lands partially on a puddle of electric goop, burning his ropes off. He straightens up and flexes his pectoral muscles, breaking the rest of the ropes off as he screams a war cry. The mantas back up and mutter amongst themselves.
Mario: I have had enough of you batting me back and forth! Come for me if you dare!
The mantas look at each other, shrug, and rush him again. Mario's maniacal grin fades. This isn't what he expected. They beat him up and throw him against the wall. A barrel of water falls on his head, nearly knocking him unconscious. Strangely enough, it balances perfectly on what's left of his sand cone.
Hotel Owner: Come on, Mr. Sucker! You can do it!
Mario takes the barrel off his head and looks at it. An idea occurs to him. Just as the mantas rush him again, he throws the barrel at the ground. The water splashes across the beach, hitting all the mantas and making them disintegrate. The electric goop disappears, and behind the Hotel Owner, Hotel Delfino rises from the empty plot of land.
Hotel Owner: I'm going to need to take some sleeping medicine tonight.
Snobby Pianta Woman: Why is it back so suddenly? I haven't finished my speel yet!
Dumb Pianta Man: Huh? It's back? What does that mean?
Hotel Owner: Man, don't you know ANYTHING?
Dumb Pianta Man: I forgot.
Hotel Owner: What's 3 plus 3?
The Dumb Pianta Man thinks hard for a bit.
Dumb Pianta Man: 56?
A limp, beaten, red and blue figure crawls up the steps behind them, panting. He reaches behind him, pulls a crab out of his overalls, looks at it, and throws it away.
Hotel Owner: Oh, welcome back! I'm sure my cheerleading helped you win!
Mario: Actually, it was a barrel that did the trick.
Hotel Owner: I should reward you somehow. Perhaps this Shine Sprite that's meant to stabilize the island and keep it from descending into chaos that I found randomly while walking down the beach and decided a souvenir was worth a land of total anarchy will do.
Mario: Yes, I should say so.
Mario crawls up and grabs the Shine Sprite, tongue hanging out of his mouth. He glares at it. Its eyes move to stare back into his.
Mario: Do you know how much crap I went through just to save you?
Mario warps out of the level. The first thing he decides he's going to do is find some massage therapy.