Hello again everyone! All the reviews have been SO amazing and I really appreciate them all. Here's the next chapter! I hope you all enjoy it!

Lexlady

The hallway outside of Lucas's room was decidedly…tense. Nathan, Haley, Karen, and Peyton had been outside waiting for over twenty minutes as the doctor checked Lucas over. Scarcely a word had been spoken since Nathan, Haley, and Karen returned from the cafeteria to find Peyton pacing outside of Lucas's room in tears.

"He's awake," she'd said simply to a chorus of gasps. Then their eyes turned with sudden realization to a grumpy Keith. "He knows," were her next and last words.

Lucas hadn't had the chance to say anything about Keith because a nurse had come in to check on him. And upon finding him awake and in tears, called the doctor immediately and scolded Peyton for not doing so sooner. They were both booted out of the room for Lucas's exam and that was how the three adults had found her.

Peyton kept replaying the scene over and over again in her head. His eyes finding hers and asking her if it was true. If the baby cuddled to his side was his. She knew that thinking Jake had fathered this child had broken his heart, but watching him realize that not only was this baby his, but she'd kept him from him shattered hers, because she was watching his own fall apart all over again. She could tell, this hurt worse and it killed her that she'd caused him this pain.

The other occupants of the hall were having similar thoughts. They were all thankful that he was awake, but now that he was, it meant truths would have to come out and none of them knew if he would ever be able to forgive them.

"Has anyone called Brooke?" Karen asked, suddenly. Nathan raised his eyebrows incredulously at her. Before he could begin his tirade, Karen spoke up.

"As far as he knows she's still his girlfriend, and if she's leaving him, it should come from her, and so should the truth about what happened that night."

She had been livid when Haley told her about what Brooke had done at the party. It was yet another betrayal that her son would have to endure from a person he'd loved and trusted.

"I'll call her," Haley said, somewhat grudgingly. Just as she was about to walk away the door opened and the doctor stepped out.

Much as they did the day Lucas was brought in, they descended upon him.

"Doctor Peterson, how is he?" Karen asked.

"He's awake and alert," the doctor replied. "There is some discomfort, but that's to be expected after a heart attack. We're going to run some more tests just to be safe and we'll keep him here for further observation. He's going to need someone with him when he's discharged to make sure he takes care of himself. He'll need to take it easy for a few weeks."

"Can we see him?"

"I would normally say one at a time, but Lucas has requested only one of you…well two." The doctor then turned to Peyton and Keith. "I assume, you're Peyton Sawyer?"

Peyton glanced at the other three and then nodded. She moved to go to the room, but the doctor stopped her.

"He's still very weak, Ms. Sawyer. I am not privy to the details of your family or situation, but he needs rest. No excitement."

Peyton bit her lip guiltily, knowing he was referring to the sobbing mess he'd found his patient in earlier.

"Of course," she said. With one last glance behind her, she stepped into the room.

Lucas's face was turned away from the door until he heard it shut. Turning, he watched Peyton approach him with his son in her arms. His son. Blinking back the sting of tears quickly he looked back up at Peyton.

"Say it," he whispered. Confused, Peyton stopped her approach.

"Wha-?"

"Say it, Peyton. I need to hear you tell me. From your mouth."

Peyton followed his gaze back down to Keith and felt her lip tremble.

"He's your son," she said, feeling her heart break at the lone tear that rolled down his cheek at her words. Keith craned his neck around and clapped happily at the sight of his father.

"Dada!"

Swiping the offending tear away, Lucas reached his hands out and Peyton resumed her approach. Lucas no longer looked at her, but had eyes only for his son. She gently placed the baby to his side so he wouldn't place any pressure on his sore chest and stood back as Lucas looked at him and looked at him. Keith in turn reached a busy hand out to pat his moist cheek and cooed, soothingly to him.

Lucas made a strangled sound in his throat before pulling the boy close to his chest, uncaring of the discomfort it caused. His son. His very own baby boy.

As Peyton watched the two bond she felt torn apart. Oh how she longed to go back in time and slap her earlier self silly for the painful decision she'd made. The stupid, hateful decision that cost them months and what may end up costing her the love of her life.

"Fourteen months."

There had been silence for so long that Peyton thought she'd imagined his words. She bowed her head, although Lucas still wasn't looking at her.

"Lucas, it was a mistake. It was a terrible mistake that I wish to God I could take back," Peyton whimpered.

"You hate me that much?" The break in his voice was her undoing.

"Lucas, no-I-I-"

"Just came to have our son watch his father die? Was that your idea or Jake's. Because I know that man isn't stupid Peyton. He had to have known he was mine."

"He did. He knew from the moment I was pregnant. We didn't get together until several months into the pregnancy. He wanted me to tell you-"

"But you didn't." At Peyton's silence he continued. "You were never going to tell me were you. You were never going to tell me I had a son."

"Lucas, I was-I was hurt-"

"You kept my boy from me," he cried through clenched teeth. "My son, Peyton. My own flesh and blood. You took him from me like Dan took Keith-"

"No! I thought it was better this way. Because you had Brooke and-"

"Oh that's a great excuse Peyton. Look, I know you think I'm beneath you and maybe I don't deserve you-"

"No Lucas," Peyton cried, aghast at what he thought she thought of him. "I don't think that. I could never think that-"

"You had no right," he growled.

"You're right, Lucas. I had no right and you have no idea how sorry I am."

"But he knows who I am though," Lucas said, his voice softening slightly. He chanced a glance up at Peyton.

Peyton opened and closed her mouth a few times. "He always knew. I don't know how, but…he has always known Jake wasn't his father."

Lucas 's eyes skittered away, painfully realizing the implications of what she'd said. For the first fourteen months of his son's life Peyton had referred to Jake as his father. Any hope of gentle feelings he thought she may have died right then and there.

"Where is Jake?"

"Savannah. He and I…split up before I came up here."

Lucas said nothing, and Peyton felt disappointed at not seeing any happiness of the news. He only stroked the child's curls and suddenly a thought struck him. "Are you going to take him from me?"

"What? No, Lucas. I would nev-I won't take him from you Lucas. I won't."

Lucas nodded, faintly, watching his son slowly shut his eyes. "Good," he whispered.

"Lucas, I couldn't do that to you."

"Why not," he asked, his voice a soothing monotone, for the baby sleeping on his chest's benefit. "You hate me, remember."

Peyton shut her eyes at the hateful parting words she spit at him. "God-no, Luke I never-I never hated you. I didn't mean i-"

"It's okay Peyton," his tone was almost soothing as he buried his nose in his sons hair. "I hate you too."

"Hey Sawyer," Nathan greeted the blonde with the red-rimmed eyes. She looked up at him and after a second thought decided not to fool herself or him and kept her lips curled downward.

"Hi," she responded hollowly. Nathan sighed and took a seat beside her on the bench. After the 'I hate you,' Peyton had kept the copious amounts of tears she desperately wanted to cry to herself. Lucas had every reason to hate her and didn't want to further excite or upset him by arguing her case. At the moment she felt she didn't even deserve to argue it. There was no right reason to do what she'd done, so she took his words and his hurt and draped them around herself like a cold dingy blanket.

"Lucas fell asleep a little while ago," Nathan offered. "Haley has Keith with her now." He felt guilty. He knew some of Lucas's anger should be directed at him and Haley, but when Peyton had come out of the room she'd told them not to speak of it yet.

"He can only take so much," Peyton had said. "He can't deal with more right now."

It would be bad enough once Brooke showed up to say her piece, although the blonde hadn't asked about her once since he woke up. And speaking of the brunette…

"Karen called Brooke."

"Is she coming?"

"Yeah. Peyton, you can't be too hard on yourself."

"I can't be hard enough Nathan!" Peyton cried out forcefully, tears finally taking over. "You didn't see him! You didn't see the way he looked at me! You didn't hear his voice when he asked me if I was going to take Keith away from him! God, Nathan I never thought I could be this person! The one person in this world that I love more than anyone and I hurt so…He thinks I hate him and how is he supposed to believe any different after what I've done to him!"

Nathan wrapped an arm around her shoulder and brought the sobbing woman into his chest.

"Peyton, it's gonna take time. We all just are gonna have to give him time. It's been a long time since he's been happy, Peyton. This is about as shitty as it can get and over the course of the next few weeks it will get shittier, but he's got Keith to hold onto now. He's got a reason to pull himself back up. And we all need to be strong enough to help him the rest of the way when he asks."

"Will he ask?"

"I hope so," Nathan shrugged, sadly. "He can't be by himself right now, though and he won't want to be away from Keith…and I know it'll be hard, but-"

"I want to take care of him, Nathan, but he won't want my help."

"Well if he wants to be around Keith, he'll have to learn to live with it. You're his mom. You've got to be strong for him. Can you do that?"

Peyton nodded, raising her head from Nathan's shoulder. After years of Lucas being the one to save her, it was the least she could do for the man she loved.

"Yeah," she said with conviction. "I can do that."

When Lucas opened his eyes again, it was to find Karen sitting beside him, holding his hand. Her gaze was settled on their intertwined hands and tears glazed her eyes. Against his will, he felt his lip quiver at the sight. He'd missed his mother more than he cared to admit. He still loved her and cared for her. How could he not? For years it had been them against the world. She was the first woman he'd ever loved…but the last person he'd expected to break his heart.

Sensing his eyes on her, Karen looked up at him almost timidly. Lucas had his father's eyes. There was no denying that Scott stare when things got intense, but the gentleness that had always been behind his gaze came from his mother and there was no denying that.

"Where's my son?" He asked with some trepidation.

"He's with Haley getting something to eat," Karen replied. "He's beautiful Lucas."

That drew a smile from the man. "He is isn't he."

As she squeezed his hand a frown took over his face and he pressed those blue eyes into her once again.

"Why did you go? Why, mom?"

Karen blinked and felt the warm droplets of salt race down her cheeks. Why did you leave me? No child should ever have to ask their parent that question, let alone two. First Dan, then her. It was no wonder her son clung to love wherever he could find it.

"You know what it is to lose someone, my boy," she whispered. "You love Peyton, like I loved Keith. And when you lost her, you didn't want to function anymore, despite all the wonderful things you have going for you. The only difference is, I never get to see the man I love again," she choked. "And it still hurts Lucas. It hurts everyday. You know."

Lucas took a deep breath and looked away. "But you chose Dan," he growled.

"You chose Brooke," Karen shrugged, emboldened by the fact that Lucas hadn't removed his hand from hers, but was by no means squeezing back.

"We both settled Luke. We both jumped at the chance for love again."

"Wasn't I enough, mom?" Lucas asked turning sad eyes towards her, imploringly. He shrugged. "We used have each other. I loved you."

Karen bit her lip and let out a sob.

"I guess my love is never enough for anyone, huh?"

"Lucas, don't do this," Karen cried, clutching his hand with both of hers. "Don't turn back to the darkness. Don't let it take you again."

"I'm not," he whispered back. "Because there's a boy out there who knew me even before Peyton even told him my name. That baby loves me, mom. He knows I'm his dad even though I wasn't around. Maybe my love is no good for Peyton or Brooke wherever she is……or you. But I'll be damned if it's not good enough for him. I won't mess up for him."

Mother and son regarded each other, at the moment at an impasse, before a knock on the door interrupted them. Karen wiped her eyes quickly as Brooke entered the room.

She smiled carefully at him. "Hey you," she rasped.

"Hey," Lucas replied, looking up at the nervous looking brunette.

"Um, Karen, can we have a minute alone?" Brooke asked, looking at the older woman, shocked to see the unfriendliness staring back at her.

"Of course," Karen said, standing. With one last look at Lucas she brushed past the other brunette and shut the door.

"Where have you been?" He asked, carefully. He wasn't an idiot. He realized that if Peyton and Keith were here that meant Brooke knew he'd cheated on her. He wasn't surprised that she wasn't around, but more surprised that she'd showed up to see him. What was more confusing was her own nervousness. She should have been screaming at him right now.

"I've been setting my things up at Rachel's," Brooke replied, looking for any sort of indication that he cared whether she stayed or went. There wasn't anything behind his eyes, except a familiar fear of being left alone.

"Brooke- please don't-"

"Stop. Please just let me get this out," Brooke said, quickly. She moved to sit beside him and kept her hands carefully to herself. "Luke when you and I got together a few years ago, we were both really lonely. I should have walked away a long time ago and I know you think I'm weak for staying, but…you have to know that I loved you Luke. I love you even now and…you never loved me, did you?"

Lucas opened his mouth to disagree, but no words came out.

"It's okay," Brooke shrugged. "I know you tried in your own way, but you could never let her go."

Lucas shook his head emphatically. "Brooke, there's nothing between Peyton and me anymore," he insisted, although even she could tell it pained him to say it out loud. Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Lucas, you two have a child together."

"A child she kept from me," Lucas cried, before cringing and rubbing his sore chest.

"I won't pretend to understand why she did that," Brooke shrugged. "But he's here now. And if you think there isn't something more between you and Peyton other than that child than you are a bigger idiot than I thought you were."

"So it's done, then," Lucas murmured. "You're gone."

"Lucas…as far as you were concerned I've been gone. We both know that. Lets not fool ourselves and make us something we weren't. I read some of what you wrote."

Lucas turned red with embarrassment and anger and Brooke had the presence of mind to look a bit ashamed of her snooping.

"You shouldn't have done that," he rumbled, unable to look at her now. He felt exposed.

"I know, but it wasn't anything I didn't already know. You still love her Lucas, and it's killing you."

"I don't."

"Yeah….you do," she replied, sadly. Finally Lucas looked back up at her with regret at causing her pain once again.

"I'm sorry, Brooke," Lucas whispered, taking her hand. "I know it sounds trite, but I never meant to hurt you. I guess, I just-I hurt everyone I try to love somehow and-"

"Luke, about that," Brooke cut in, feeling both guilty and uncomfortable with his apologies. "Um-I might know why all of a sudden Peyton couldn't seem to be in the same room as you senior year..."

I know. How much do I suck! :p On the bright side, I'll be posting a new chapter of Bliss soon, so hopefully that'll make up for my leaving this chapter here.

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