A/N: Theophilus Rex : Done! I've gotten rid of the italics! I know at times it seems a bit slapstick as I write a lot of comedy but trust me it gets darker. I just couldn't help myself when it came to Sheldon.I really, really hate school. It's nothing to do with the work. The students and teachers are pricks. Anyway... ignore my pessimism. I've received a bit of flack about my story but I like it! I'll admit my writing style is a little different but I worked on this during a tough time. Enjoy the next chapter!
Leonard switched the light off so everyone could get some shut eye. He couldn't help smiling at Penny curling up next to her bestie. He sent Howard a good night text before snuggling under his hoodie and listening to the soothing sound of the train making its way to Houston. He was just about to drift off when he received a call from Howard.
"I just want to thank you for taking Doctor Ass off our hands . Me and Bernadette had some essential alone time." Howard snorted with smarmy laughter. Leonard noticed something amiss straight away.
"Uh Howard, He's not here. He went to talk to you guys long and ever ago. After he was harassed by some business woman..."
Howard snorted with delight.
"What happened? Did she make fun of trains?"
" Look man, I've a bad feeling about this..."
After sending atleast five texts to Sheldon, Leonard heaved a large sigh and reluctantly got up to find his crazy friend. He soon bumped into Wollowitz.
"Dude," Howard hissed, "Sheldon got kicked off the train at least 4 hours ago. Apparently he tried to tell the Hispanic cleaning ladies how to do their job. Needless to say it didn't end well."
Leonard groaned in annoyance, knowing that he probably wouldn't be getting much needed sleep.
"First that red haired lady grabbing him, now this. I wish I could say I'm surprised but this is Sheldon we're talking about. Why hasn't he called?."
Wollowitz shrugged , yawning. "He doesn't want to admit us jeering him. I guess.
It was eight o clock in the morning when they had to catch the next train. Raj was informed of what was happening but the women were none the wiser.
"I don't want Amy to think Sheldon ran off with Monique. Which, let's be honest here, is as likely to happen as Raj and I giving birth to twins. But cracks seemed to form in the Shamy relationship due to it so I guess we'll keep quiet for now." Leonard cared for Amy. He knew how much the past event had upset her.
Howard frowned in confusion.
"Is somebody going to tell me what happened yesterday?"
Raj rolled his eyes.
" Oh For god's sake man will you keep up! An old schoolmate of Sheldon's who happens to be hot and attracted to pasty skinned, virginal men, started macking on Sheldon. That is until Amy came in and caught Sheldon crying similarly to a nine year old girl when the woman placed her hands down his pants." Raj said all in one breath. Howard gave Raj a weirded out look.
*What the hell Raj?*
Leonard raised his finger to interrupt the conversation as his phone began to ring.
-Leonard,Leonard,Leonard.-
-Yeah Sheldon, It's me. Where in the hell are you?-
-I took a taxi. Oh Leonard! It's downright appalling! There is an unidentifiable yellow crust on the seats and the driver insists on calling me 'babe'. I have no idea where I am!-
Leonard stifled a giggle and gave his two buddies a playful look. He did deserve it. He'd been acting weird and being even more than usual. Hofstadter felt a sudden pang of guilt as he knew full well why his friend had been a little off kilter. It was an emotional trip for Sheldon
-Does that mean that we'll reach your home before you?-
Sheldon contemplated the situation before answering.
-That would be most likely.-
-Great, that's just great.-
Leonard hung up and gathered the gang.
"Okay I have good news and bad news, Sheldon got kicked off the train ride last night-"
"That's the good news." Howard butt in.
*The bad news... Well we are all going to have to entertain the Cooper family until he arrives home.* Leonard mumbled. This was met by the group moaning in frustration.
"Where is he now?" Amy asked, trying to sound casual but a hint of insecurity could be heard.
"In a taxi somewhere, I really didn't enquire about the whereabouts but it sounds like he'll be arriving later than us."
Leonard put his arm around Amy to comfort her.
"I wouldn't worry about him."Penny winked. "He has eye- eye- eidetic memory? Yes that's right he has that memory thingy so he should be able to find his way back to mommy." She gave Leonard a quick smile. It was like her and Leonard were the parents of the group and Sheldon and Amy their pre-teen kids.
Amy gave one of her rare smiles. Had Raj and Howard not set her up on a date with Sheldon last year she would not have her brilliant friends to support her.
"I am grateful for your caring words but I am not worried." She beamed. She felt her disappointment in Sheldon dissolve, knowing that he was far too socially inept and too loyal to cheat on her. Plus, he made a big deal about making her his girlfriend. That had to count for something,but seeing that this was a breach of the contract. Article #49: If one person is involved in intimate touching, that is not platonic, with another party other than the mentioned "boyfriend/girlfriend then the relationship is to be terminated. Amy cared about the dopey physicist deeply and did not want to let him go just because of a ginger woman with an overactive libido. In a weird that red haired woman reminded Amy of herself.
At 6 o'clock that night they reached the Cooper family home.
"This is where all the magic happened." Leonard laughed leading the group to the front door.
"Yes, Irreversible dark magic that created Michael Cera mixed with Einstein. Throw in insane tallness and then insanity itself. Boom, You got yourself a Sheldon." Howard grumbled. Bernadette held onto his arm. "Wow, Howie this would make a super family home."
Penny bit her lip. From the sounds of it, this house was probably the opposite of a super family home.
Leonard knocked politely on the door. When no one answered Penny shoved him out of the way and gave the door three powerful knocks.
"Sorry, I get really impatient!" she grinned sheepishly at her ex.
"I can see that."
A man whose arms where swollen with muscles, opened the door and leaned against the frame. He was tall, rugged and surveyed the group with familiarly baby blue eyes.
"Lenny!" the man gave a wheezy laugh. "What brings you here?" he pulled the horizontally challenged man into a bear hug. The rest of the group watched in amazement.
"George..." Leonard began although his air supply was restricted. He turned purple. "Sheldon invited us all to the service. He came with us but got kicked off the train."
George fumed "Yeah righ'. He probably chickened out. That idiot said he wasn't comin'. He would have called if otherwise."
"Trust me. He's coming. He may be an egomaniacal genius but he wouldn't abandon us in a middle of a mission." Amy defended her boyfriend. Raj and Howard gave each other a knowing look. Despite his predictable schedules, Amy still did not comprehend how unpredictable Sheldon could be.
"Well Hello there, you must be Amy. I've heard a lot about you little lady." George shook her hand. Penny whispered into Leonard's ear softly.
"Is that doctor whack-a-doodle's brother?"
"Yeah, It really is. You like?"
" He's got good guns but he seems a bit intense. Why would you ask?"
Leonard shrugged.
"I don't know. If I was gay I'd do him. Those high cheekbones have got me all hot and spicy." Leonard nudged her playfully. George picked up their bags and hauled them into the hall before calling for his mother.
"Maaaaaw! We got company."
Leonard and Penny winced. Sheldon would never yell at his mother like that.
Mary Cooper hurriedly arrived into the hall. When she saw all of Sheldon's friends her face broke into a smile.
"Well, isn't this a surprise! What brings you all here?"
"I hope we are not imposing but we thought we'd all go with Sheldon to the service on Sunday." Leonard explained nervous.
"Imposing? Nonsense! Bless you all. Even you, Raj."
Raj thanked her but pulled at his sweater vest. Showing his discomfort .
She craned her neck as if she was looking for someone.
"Sheldon's not here , mom. He got kicked off a train. He'll be here soon." George said through gritted teeth.
Mrs Cooper's face fell. She beckoned the group into three rooms.
"Penny you take Sheldon's bed. Amy, honey, you can take George's bed and since Missy won't be here there is an extra free bed. Sorry honey I don't recall your name..."
"It's Bernadette."
"Bernadette, you'll be sleeping in Melissa's bed. Sorry fellas, but you'll be sleeping on the floor. Shelly won't like that but he ain't here so he can't complain."
"Why am I in Whack-a-doodle's bed?" Penny whined to Leonard. He laughed at her discomfort.
Flash-forward.
The pain of each punch didn't bother Sheldon as much as the taste of blood did in his mouth. "You used to hurt me as a kid because I couldn't fight back" he coughed , staring at his brother accusingly. "Look how far things have changed since then!". This made George angry. His eyes bulged as he thwacked his weedy little brother in the stomach.
"My fists could always do what your stupid science experiments couldn't do. Make Dad happy."He spat in Sheldon's face, causing him much discomfort. Sheldon attempted crawl back up from the ground but George wouldn't let up. He put all the rage he had into one punch, with every intention to devastate. Sheldon caught the meaty fist defiantly and threw a couple of punches himself. Each one carefully calculated and precise but ineffective. His bony fingers were suitable for causing sharp, stabbing pain but did not cause his brother much discomfort. "Get a hold of yourself."
A/N: Okay those was terrible but please go easy on me, I am human. I am slowly but surely updating. I apologise for this chapter!