Dating in the Dark Chapter 10: Hell yes!, a twilight fanfic

A/N: Hello, my lovelies! You will not get excuses from me for my tardy posting, but know that I am working on it. I do love you all to pieces and very much appreciate your continued support and encouraging words. So, big booty shakes for all the favorites, alerts, and reviews! I love them all!

Thanks to my beta and prereader: Sovereignvision and Twifan82

Thanks to my VBs: Jenny Cullen, Angel_eyes1_uk, and TwifanUK

*~*EPOV*~*

Burp, burp, buuuuuurrrrpppp!

"Emmett, knock it off!" I chastised, throwing a dirty look in his direction. "If you're gonna sit next to me while I watch TV, the least you could do is adhere to simple manners."

"'Better out than in,' I always say," Emmett returned, rubbing his belly and crumpling up the bag of chips he'd just devoured. "Either belching makes a presence, or his methane-producing cousin could rock this party. Your choice."

"Fine, but could you tone it down a little. You're gonna start triggering the seismographs."

Unfortunately, I knew Emmett's panty-poofs were less than appealing. I'd much rather deal with a couple of ground-rumbling burps than face the death-stench that rotted out his intestines. I swear the last time he forgot to Febreze after an episode in the bathroom, my nostril hairs were singed off and my eyes watered for a week. He'd been banned from eating White Castle sliders ever since.

Deciding it was time to get ready for my date with Bella, I got up from the couch and threw the remote at Emmett's head. He only screamed like a pansy for a second after contact, then he flipped me off, I chuckled, and we moved on.

I really wanted to impress Bella, but I wasn't exactly sure how to accomplish that feat, so I went for simple: snacks, drinks, and music from my iPod. A little on the cheesy side, but who doesn't like cheese? Plus, I may be able to coax her into a dance or two… an easy way to feel her body, and it's never a bad thing to be pressed up against a warm, willing, female frame.

Gathering all the supplies from the pantry and fridge, I stuck them in a bag and starting queuing up songs for the date. While I was tweaking my playlist, Jasper slammed the suite door open, defeat written all over his face, and stomped off to his room without saying anything to me or Emmett. I was so stunned by his entrance that I didn't move from my seat for a couple of seconds. Then Emmett broke the silence.

"Um, should we go in there?"

"I'm not sure," I replied, scratching my chin scruff. "He looked weird. I don't think I've ever seen him that… off."

Throwing caution to the wind, we strode down the hall towards Jasper's room. Emmett automatically went for the doorknob, but it was locked.

"Jazz. Bro, let us in," Emmett called, his voice bouncing off the walls.

"I'm not in the m-m-motherfucking mood!" Jasper stuttered, voice straining, trying to hold in his attack. "Give me some space so I can calm d-d-doodypecker down!"

Emmett turned to me, releasing the door knob, and sighed. I leaned my back up against the wall next to Jasper's door and let my head rest on it, too. We waited patiently for his outburst to subside and both noticed it took longer than usual to end. Something really crappy must have happened on his date. I hope Alice didn't break his heart.

"You can come in now," Jasper whispered as he opened his door several minutes later, then returned quickly to his bed where he collapsed on his stomach, firmly planting his face into his pillows.

"Wanna elaborate on what's got you so frazzled?" Emmett asked, taking the leap to get this conversation started. "You look like she told you your dick is gonna fall off."

Jasper rolled onto his back, keeping his eyes closed, and began telling us about his date.

"It was perfect at first. Alice appreciated the wine, we ate some fruit dipped in the chocolate and whipped cream, and we shared some things about our pasts. Everything seemed to be going great, so I took the opportunity to tell her about my Tourette's. She listened intently as I gave her all the details and I was really surprised when I didn't go into an attack. Alice was really sweet and held my hand, rubbing her thumb on the back of mine and she gave me a huge hug and a innocent kiss when I was done. She was very supportive, telling me she knew exactly what I was talking about."

He paused, took a deep breath, and started cracking his fingers. His shoulders started rolling and I knew he was staving off another attack, but he kept going with his explanation.

"That's when she told me about her… issue. She's been going through a debilitating disorder since high school. It affects her every day, much like my Tourette's, but hers is a million times more embarrassing. I had my arms wrapped around her shoulders while she described it to me, and I tried my best to be sympathetic as she cried, but when she told me what triggered the majority of her attacks, I lost my shit and scrambled for the door." Jasper sat up, pulled his knees to his chest and grabbed two fistfuls of his hair, as he rocked back and forth. He started sobbing and said, "I can't do that to her! I can't be the one to hurt her like that!"

Emmett glanced over to me with confusion lacing his features. Neither one of us was following Jasper's train of thought. He hadn't really come out and said what Alice's disorder was or how it was connected to him. All we could gather was something Jasper did triggered something that caused Alice pain… but why? How? It didn't make any sense.

"Jazz," I coaxed, going to sit on the bed next to him. I patted his shoulder and waited until he stopped rocking to clarify what happened. "I don't think we understand why you had to leave your date so abruptly. It seemed like you two were having another great date, and you obviously both felt comfortable enough to share your disorders, so why are you so torn up?"

"Her disorder is the thing she hates most about herself," Jasper yelled. "She despises everything that's associated with it. She can't live a normal life because of it, and I would only make her more miserable if I stayed around her, so I ran. I ran like a fucking coward, but I will not be the one to make her life a living hell."

"You're gonna have to give us more info, Jazz," prodded Emmett, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "What could be so bad that she's really that miserable? And how could you make that worse?"

"My disorder triggers hers," Jasper huffed, curling his legs underneath himself, eyes trained on the comforter. "I'd make her a mess because if I curse around her it makes her… she… ugh! I don't know if I should even tell you, but it's killing me inside."

"It sounds like telling us would do more good than bad at this point," I encouraged, looking to Emmett for reassurance. He nodded his head, so I continued, "I think Alice would understand. I'm also pretty sure she wouldn't have told you about her disorder if she thought she couldn't handle it. She must really like you to be so open about everything, and obviously doesn't think your Tourette's is a hindrance."

Jasper sighed heavily, mulling over the choices in his head, then spoke, "She has PGAD. Basically she's in a constant state of arousal, and if something triggers her, like swear words, she orgasms. It's uncontrollable and overwhelming. Nothing can stop it once it's started, and I'm her worst nightmare."

Thankfully, Jasper wasn't looking at Emmett because the look of pure excitement on his face was disheartening. I quickly threw Emmett a dirty look to knock it the fuck off, and he coughed to cover up a laugh as he excused himself from the conversation.

"Well, I don't believe that," I added, just Jasper and me left in the room. "If she thought you were that terrible, I think she would've bolted after hearing about your Tourette's. I bet you missed something she was going to say when you escaped."

By now, Jasper had calmed down and was breathing normally, although he still looked crushed. It was hard to stay in the room with him when he was like this. I was getting bummed just sitting in proximity to him, but he needed a buddy right now, and that's what I was there for.

He blinked a few times then said, "You think she'll still want to talk to me? I need to talk to her."

I shrugged. "My guess is she's hurt right now, but probably because you didn't stay long enough to hear her out, not because you got scared. Most likely, she's balling her eyes out just like you right now."

"Great. Now I'm the inconsiderate prick who made her cry."

"Yeah, but she knows you're wounded, too. You both shared monumental stories. I think you guys deserve a little break to process everything. I mean, shit, you aren't even officially a couple yet, and you're acting like your marriage is falling apart."

I nudged his shoulder with my own, and a small, half smile broke through his sadness. We discussed his current options, and agreed that sending an email would be the most feasible choice. Plus, it was probably the only thing he'd be allowed to do on this fuck-tarded show.

While Jasper collected his emotions and composed his email to Alice, I assembled the bag-o-goodies for my date with Bella. Excited, nervous, anxious. My stomach started twisting and turning, virtually saying, "Fuck you, dillweed. I hope this bitch is worth the stress, 'cus I'm dying in here."

Not that I never got nervous before a date, but this was worse than ever. I was getting all urpy, and the fire puke in the back of my throat was beyond annoying. Fighting back vomit, I said bye to the guys and made my way to the dark room. The closer I got, the more my anxiety peaked. But I was determined to make this date a success, so I swallowed my pride, took a deep breath and walked through the doors.

"Bella?"

/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/

*~*BPOV*~*

"Yep," I squeaked a little and cleared my throat, feeling self-conscious now that he was in the room. "Over here, Edward. Against the far wall. Just keep walking straight until… oof!"

"Oh, crap. I'm sorry," Edward apologized after running into my legs and smacking me in the head with something… a bag, maybe? He regained his balance and sat down next to me, jostling some items while he said, "Are you okay? Please tell me you're not bleeding."

"No, I'm not bleeding," I snickered, remembering his mishap with Rose. "I can take a hit. Hockey goalie, remember."

"Huh. Actually, I don't think that ever made it into the conversation during the group date."

"You know, I think you're right. All hell broke loose before we could get out any real information."

"But you're a hockey goalie. That's cool. Is it you're full-time career?"

"I wish, but no. It's mostly just local travel teams, but I got drafted for the US women's team for the next Olympics, so that's cool."

"Wow! That really is cool. So what do you do for a living then?"

"Ugh. I work at Home Depot. It's mindless, but it pays the bills. I hate that I'm one of only three women that work there. Old men are dirty. It's a shame their wives don't see them in action. They'd be appalled."

"That's terrible," Edward responded, but chuckled when he said it, losing all sincerity. "But you must be quite the looker if all these old men are willing to hit on you and risk their marriages."

"Shut it, tutu boy," I spat, effectively quieting his laughs. "You can't tell me old ladies don't wanna get on you, either. Hell, there's probably been a few old guys going after you, too."

"No comment," he quipped, but I could hear the smile in his voice. "And I don't wear tutus. Brightly colored spandex and the occasional unitard, yes, but I draw the line at tutus."

"Now that's terrible," I giggled, and decided now would be a perfect time to bring up the infamous high school story. "You would've thought you learned your lesson wearing figure revealing attire after your little testicular incident."

"Ah, we're going there now," he cleared his throat and repositioned himself on the couch. "Yeah, that year sucked, but it also taught me to follow my dreams no matter what other people thought. My dad wanted me to be a doctor, follow in his footsteps. I was more than ready to accept that fate, but I realized that wasn't me."

Edward scooted around again, and took a deep breath before adding, "I'd played lacrosse ever since I can remember, and I really wasn't very graceful on the field. My parents could tell it was bothering me, so they gave me options to increase my balance. Ballet was one of them, so I decided to give it a try."

"Ballet was your first choice?" I interjected. "What, were all the figure skating classes full?"

"Hey, now. Ice skating is for pansies, anyway," he returned, showing he had just the right amount of snarkiness to put up with me. I jabbed him in the side, and he continued, "Turns out, the ballet classes helped tremendously and became the one thing I looked forward to the most throughout my week. Mom and dad encouraged me, never once regretting giving me that option. So when I told them that's where my career path was leading, they accepted it easily and wholeheartedly supported my choice."

I swooned a little while he went through his story. How awesome his parents were, too, for standing by their son. And now I felt like a bitch for making such a big deal out of his pain.

"That's a sweet story," I commented, turning to face the direction of his voice. "I am sorry about making Emmett tell me your embarrassing moment. But it's good to know it all turned out good for you. Did you get a degree for dancing? Where have you travelled?"

"Oh, it's no big deal," he said, finding my hand in the dark, giving it a squeeze then intertwining our fingers. "I went to Juliard after a lot of heckling from Jasper and Emmett, but I've been to places they can only dream of. I've stepped foot on every continent except Antartica, and it's all paid for. Plus, I'm bendy."

I burst out laughing, but my insides got all floppy at the thought of a bendy Edward. I was still pretty sure he was the one I saw through the window the other day, and I was going to try and figure out if it truly was him. Maybe I could touch him…

"I brought us some wine and snacks if you're interested," Edward interrupted my thoughts. "Would you like me to pour you some?"

Graciously accepting his offerings, we rifled through the contents of his mystery bag, opening the snacks and sampling the contents. We chatted back and forth between bites and sips, occasionally chuckling at something the other person said. Then I felt Edward shift around and soft music started playing.

"Where is that coming from?" I asked, turning my head to locate its origin.

"I brought my iPod," Edward whispered in my ear, making me shiver involuntarily. "Not sure if it's against the rules or not, but I thought we could try some dancing. So… Bella, may I have this dance?"

He wrapped his arm around my waist, gently tugging me to stand up with him. How could I resist? I was on my way to finally figuring out if he was the "hot bod" gracing my dreams and he smelled really good, so it was a win for my olfactory sense, as well.

"You're not gonna body slam me and kick me in the stomach, are you?" I teased as we started to sway, making reference to his date with Rose.

Edward bristled in response. "Hey, now. I feel terrible about that, but you never know. I may have to shove you around and have my way with you."

Then it was my turn to tense up. His words were like butter, melting through me. My composure was slipping fast, so I did the only thing that felt normal. Word vomit to the rescue. "Um… uh… I think I've seen you naked?"

It came out like a question, and I wanted to face-palm before the words left my lips, but once the train starts rolling there's no turning back. Edward stopped swaying, but continued roaming his hands over my shoulders, back, hips, the curve of my ass. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Then he laughed.

"I know. Kinda figured you were the owner of the legs I saw getting hauled away by security on the balcony. Rose is too tall, and Alice just sounds tiny, so you were the only one left."

Edward finished with a hearty chuckle, and I pushed against his chest to get out of his embrace. He knew, and I sort of felt betrayed.

"You're a rotten piece of work, you know that?"

"What?" he snickered, his arms snatching my body and bringing me close to him as we began rocking to the music again. "Oh, come on. Besides, you started it. I simply confirmed your doubt."

Dammit! He was right, and I hated it. But now I knew he was definitely the lean, mean, buff bodied machine I'd seen through the window. And I was pressed up against his tall frame as we spoke.

"I guess I'll forgive you this time," I said and laid my head on his firm chest. "But you have to help me out." I waited until I felt his head nod, then continued, "Tell me what the fuck is up with Jasper?"

"You don't beat around the bush, do you?"

"Who said I had a bush?" I teased, and heard a muffled groan through his chest. Two could play at this game. "But really. Alice was all kinds of crazy when she got back from their date. It took us a long time to get her calmed down."

Listening intently, I waited as Edward explained Jasper's side of the story. Poor guy lost his mind, but for a valid reason. He couldn't stand the thought of hurting her, so he ran. It's kind of sweet in a backwards sort of way. Hurt her by leaving, but save her from even worse pain and embarrassment if he stays.

"That's what Rose and I figured happened," I chimed in when Edward was finished explaining. "Alice was beyond herself with grief. She kept saying she never had the chance to tell him everything."

"Well, when I was leaving Jazz was getting ready to send her an email apologizing for his momentary lapse in better judgment. But I'm sure he's looking for answers, too."

"Oh, I know she's more than ready to give him all the answers he wants. She wants him to know that he's actually been a huge relief to her, um, issues. He's been like an antidote for her disorder."

"Emm and I noticed the same thing with Jazz. He's usually so nervous in awkward situations, but he keeps telling us he's symptom-free when Alice is around."

"It's similar with Ali. When she has a Jasper-induced… symptom, it's so strong that she barely notices other episodes throughout the day. She's starting to feel 'normal,' as she put it."

Still dancing to a slow rhythm, we discussed how happy we were for our friends. Glad they were able to find someone on this suck-nut of a show. The only bad thing about talking about your friends on a date is you never get to know the other person and vice versa. But I wasn't necessarily ready for Edward to know much more about me. Unfortunately, I knew he was going to try and probe my history when we sat back down, so I decided to go for the safe stuff.

"Are you sure you want to know about my childhood?" I questioned, grabbing a mystery bag of snacks and finding my wine glass on the floor.

"Of course," Edward sighed, running his fingers through the hair resting on my back. "You know more about my upbringing than the majority of women I've gone out with for months. Spill, or I'll have to tickle it out of you."

"Hmm, death by tickles or… Hey!" I started laughing hysterically as he went for the kill. During his assault, I'd chucked my glass and food somewhere across the room to retaliate. We were a mess of flailing limbs and squeals of madness… that is, until I kicked him in the junk.

"Okay! Okay!" he squeaked, pushing me away. "I give up. You win. My testicles can't afford any more damage in this lifetime."

"More damage? And… I'm so sorry. Will you survive?" I rubbed his back while he hunched over next to me.

"Well, yes. More damage. Don't tell me you've forgotten about my previous mishap already."

"No, I haven't," I huffed. "It's just that you didn't divulge any information about the epididymitis causing you problems. I'm concerned for your testicular health, especially since I kicked them back into your abdomen."

"Ain't that sweet?" he snickered, sitting upright again and placing his arm around my shoulders. "It's not something I normally tell women on a first date. In fact, I don't think I've ever told anyone other than Emmett and Jazz. It's rather personal." Edward mumbled under his breath and it sounded like he was rubbing his face with his free hand before he spoke. "The thing with that area of the body is all the parts are super small and super sensitive to injury. Basically what an infection of that magnitude means is there is a chance it could affect fertility. Now, mind you, I've never had it tested, so I could be fine or I could be shooting blanks. See, personal."

"Does that worry you?" My stomach started swirling around with concern. I was really liking this guy and he pretty much just told me he wasn't sure if he could procreate or not. And after what happened with Riley, I wanted nothing more than to be a mother… again. Stupid genital contaminating Emmett.

"Yeah, I guess it does a little. Does it worry you?"

"Well, you… I mean, we… This is nice."

Brain… mouth… meet gibberish.

"What?" he responded. My sentiments exactly.

I swallowed hard, trying to regain composure with little success. "This… what we're doing here, is nice. It's comfortable, you know? And I have some baggage and expectations that are screwing it up."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he pulled me closer and traced small circles on my upper arm while I rested my head on his shoulder. "And for the record, I think this is nice, too."

As awesome as Edward was being right now, there was no way I could spew all that drama on a TV show. I deflected again, silently shaking my head "no" and going in an entirely different direction.

"You wanted to know about my childhood, right?" I changed the subject easily, and snuggled further into his side. "Here's your one and only chance, buck-o. I'll even let you decide what age you'd like to hear about."

"Oooh, that sounds intriguing. What's the catch?"

"No catch. All you have to do is pick an age and I'll tell you all about it."

"All righty, then. I choose twelve years old."

"Not that one!" I groaned, feigning embarrassment, then poked him in the side gaining a chuckle. "Okay, twelve years old. Let's see. That was the year my parents lost the house. We'd moved into a little apartment complex close to our old subdivision so I could stay in my school district, and they had easy access to drugs."

"Wait a minute," Edward interrupted. "How much back story am I missing by choosing this year? It sounds like I'm gonna get lost."

"You can probably fill in the pieces on your own. My parents weren't the best role models." I was sugar-coating it, but if he didn't run away screaming after this story, I know he'd be a keeper. "Anyway, our apartment complex wasn't far from where my Gran lived, so she would come over often to check on me and make sure my mom and dad hadn't left me for dead. I loved it when she visited because she brought over these amazing ingredients, and we'd spend our time acting like we were on a cooking show. We actually made some good stuff, but then she started coming over less and less by the end of that year. It wasn't until I did some reconnaissance work that I found out why."

"Reconnaissance work at twelve?"

"Shhh. You wanna hear this or not?"

He kept quiet so I took that as a yes. "After we first moved in, I noticed there was an older gentleman who lived in the apartment next to ours. He didn't come out a lot and I thought it was simply because he could only get around in a wheelchair. Boy, was I wrong.

"His name was William, but everyone that knew him well called him Billy. I think he had a son in college at the time. He would come by and bring Billy food or take him to the store. Jake was his name, I think.

"Anywho, I realized Billy had several female friends that also frequented him on a regular basis. At first I thought they were in-home nurses coming to check up on him, but that didn't fit since they never wore scrubs and left looking disheveled.

"Oh, no," Edward froze, sensing what was coming.

"Oh, yes. Poor, little old Billy Black, who I never saw out of his motorized wheelchair, was man-whoring out of his apartment. Apparently he was very good at what he did and had accumulated quite the clientele over the years. I tried counting all of his customers, but stopped when I couldn't tell the difference of one hoochie mama from the next."

Edward shivered in disgust. "Well, I suppose he never lost that function."

"Nope, and the ladies appreciated it so much that I got to hear a play-by-play on a nightly basis. It didn't bother me too much since I could easily tune it out by listening to music or watching TV, but one night I heard him moaning, 'Marie! Marie!' and I flipped out.

"I ran to our front door and stared out of the peephole waiting until Billy's nighttime conquest graced me with her presence. Fortunately, I didn't have to wait long, and who else walked out of his apartment wearing a trench coat synched tightly at the waist but my Gran."

It was my turn to groan and cover my face. Edward was guffawing loudly next to me, and I joined him soon after.

"Wow, that's horrible, Bella," Edward coughed out between laughs.

"I know, but it's freaking hilarious, too. Who knew my Gran was sexually frustrated enough to seek out a gigolo."

That made Edward laugh even harder, and his movements were shaking my body to the tune of "oooh la la." We both settled down after a couple of minutes, and I was feeling light-hearted from being able to share bits of my life with Edward. He was a great listener and also seemed willing to reveal his past, which made me trust him. It was a relief to be able to trust someone other than Alice and Rose.

While I was contemplating what to talk about next, Edward ran his free hand slowly up my arm, across my collar bone, and captured my chin between his fingers. He tilted my head up and I could feel his short, fast breaths on my lips. I held my own breath, not sure if I should act, but then his mouth captured mine, and all the nervousness I felt before disappeared.

I leaned into the kiss, reveling in the feel of the softness of his lips against mine. We angled our bodies toward each other and our hands started wandering, discovering the contours of the person in front of us. Our touches were chaste, simply testing the waters.

Sliding my hands up his arms, I felt his muscles tense and flex from my movements. Continuing upwards, I wound my fingers in his hair, tugging slightly, and elicited a low growl from Edward. He automatically wrapped his arms around my back, bringing me closer and nipping at my bottom lip with his teeth.

I gasped in response, his act causing a tremble to race through my body, settling between my thighs. Gripping his hair tighter, I darted my tongue out, tasting the wine from earlier mixed with the minty fresh coolness that was Edward. He met my tongue with his own, and I moaned at the contact, wishing I could get even closer to his body.

Setting a sensual rhythm, we began exploring more of each other. Edward swept his hands down to my waist, gently tugging my shirt up and savoring the sliver of skin he found at my lower back. I allowed my hands to travel of their own accord and found myself tracing his abdominals through his shirt.

Just as I was about the slip my fingers under the fabric, we were interrupted by a voice through a speaker.

"Okay, you two. Show's over."

"Fuck," Edward whispered, pulling away from our kiss.

We were both panting, still hanging on each other, our foreheads resting together. Neither of us wanted to move, and my judgment was clouding over the more I focused on Edward's fingers creeping back underneath my shirt.

"Bella, you will leave first," the raspy voice announced overhead.

"Shit," I swore, taking deep breaths to clear my head. Edward was very close, and his scent was intoxicating. "Tell me you want to see me."

"Hell yes," Edward declared softly enough for only me to hear.

I nodded, smiling even though he couldn't tell, and I kissed him one last time before heading out the door.

A/N: So there you have it. Jasper and Alice are okay, folks. I promise that drama is deader than… well, something dead. And how about Eddie-boy and Bella-boo? Great first date if I do say so myself. Let me know your thoughts. I love reading them!

Also, big titty-grabs to Nicoconsd for allowing me poetic license of her RL next door neighbor. That bitch be crazy! Mwah, sweets!

Thanks again for hanging in there with me. Until next time…

Loves and snugs,

M ;)