A/N. Oh. My. Word. It's been ages… and to be honest I've missed writing. So much has happened. Too much.
Fic is my release. Some party, some hide away, some scream into a pillow. Me… I write. And I have a lot to share.
So enjoy.
Xx
She leant back onto her office door, tired, exhausted. It was one of those days. One where home time couldn't come fast enough. One where every chance she got she'd watch the clock. Hoping it'd soon be time to go home. However the constant clock watching made time go slower… and home time seemed that further away.
A lot had happened. She'd broken bad news to one couple, been moaned at by the new administrator, who, compared to Adam, was a nightmare. Add to that an aggressive patient, who happened to be hers… and you can understand why she wanted to get home.
She wanted to desperately get away. Walk out of those doors, back into reality. Just escape to somewhere she could forget. Attempt to put the day's events behind her.
Gordon had been in and out. Out mostly.
Escaping wasn't really an option. She had to stay. For Gordon. He was, to her anyway, the only reason right now.
She was in pain. So much pain at times it crippled her. The burden she carried around day after day. Which, as time progressed got heavier and heavier. The burden she was desperate to get rid of. The agony of knowing she could no longer have the one thing she wanted. The idea of having a family was over before it even begun. The idea of watching their child grow up. Their first smile, first laugh, first steps. They wanted all that.
She'd felt like she'd let him down. They were devastated. The grief tearing them apart. Gordon threw himself into work. Jill hid away, crying into a glass of wine most evenings.
And tonight, she felt, would be no different. It was her release.
Sliding down the door, sitting in a slumped way on the floor, she finally admitted defeat. The long hours finally getting the better of her.
She desperately wanted it all to go away. To wake up and find everything the way it should be.
Every night she'd pray. Question why them. Why now?
"….I can't do this anymore…. I'm tired and I've had enough. I'm so tired… And so I pray…" Jill whispered, hoping no one would hear her.
And so.. I pray. Jill whispered, taking a deep breath before getting unsteadily to her feet. She had an idea. To her it was an escape. To Gordon it was a desperate cry for help.
"No I can't go, but I don't want to stay."