A/N: *peeks out from under a rock* Hi! Remember me? My name is Twicrack83 and I'm the author of this craziness. Apparently, I've been hiding under a rock and have finally decided to grace you with my presence again. I'm very grateful for those of you who've stuck out the wait, but if you flounced this burning ship, I don't blame you. Thank you, though, to all those followers who're still with me! Love you all to itty-bitty pieces!

Thanks to my beta and prereader: Sovereignvision and Twifan82

Thanks to my VBs: Jenny Cullen and JoJoWrites

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own… ah, who cares? On with the show! © 2011 twicrack83

*~*BPOV*~*

"I literally want to bury my head under eighty million layerth of crap, then drown in my own vomit, and then die," Rose mumbled, her head buried firmly under three pillows, laying stomach down on her bed.

"Oh, Rose," Alice started, sitting on the bed next to Rose with me on the opposite side. "I bet it wasn't that bad."

"Really? Really? You don't think blowing out the eardrumth of an incredibly hot, potential boyfriend with a thonic boom fart ith that bad?"

"Yikes!" I said, playing absentmindedly with Rose's hair. "That's what happened? Something tells me Emmett probably didn't care, though."

"He laughed at me, Bella," Rose sobbed, throwing off the pillows and glaring at me. "I wath nervouth about finally theeing him. You know how I get when I'm nervouth, and my colon betrayed me!"

Alice and I couldn't contain our giggles, gaining more glares from Rose.

"Rose, hun, farts are funny," Alice added. "I'm sure you laughed, too."

Rose nodded slightly. "Yeah, I did. But I wath mortified with mythelf and didn't wait to hear him out. I ran for the door while he thaid thomething about 'glad it wathn't me.'"

"Sweetie," I swallowed my laugh and mustered the best serious face I could manage. "I'm sure Emmett still wants to meet you. I mean, let's face it; you've got a hot body with killer tits and legs that go for miles, plus radiant skin and long, flowing blonde hair. And I think I remember something about an awesome back rub he gave you, and the fact that you felt his raging boner rub against your thigh."

"This is true," added Alice, nodding furiously and having the decency to look concerned again. "A boner guarantees he likes you, and he hadn't even seen you then."

Rose rolled her eyes dramatically, but couldn't keep the smile from creeping back onto her face. She sighed heavily and thanked us for brightening her mood then gave Alice a hug before sending her off to meet Jasper.

Alice skipped out of the suite with a nervous smile on her face, but reassured us that she could control herself for the duration of the reveal. Rose and I gave her reassuring smiles and watched as she shut the door behind her, heading to meet the man of her dreams.

/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/+/

The seconds seemed to be crawling by as we waited for Alice to return. Nervousness and anxiety never did suit me well. I paced… a lot. And when I paced, I chewed on my nails. Every time I started biting on my nails, Rose gave me a dirty look and I'd bashfully duck my head and put my hands behind my back.

Although I'd like to say my anxiety was related to making sure Alice's reveal went well, I truly couldn't focus on her and Jasper. No offense to them. I'd just been stressing over finally seeing Edward and having him see me that it consumed my thoughts. My poor nails were never going to grow back at this rate.

Just as Rose was about to make me sit down and put my hands under my legs to keep from butchering my manicure, Alice slumped through the front door. Her cheeks were flushed and she had a slight sheen of sweat gathering on her forehead. She also looked tired and embarrassed, which could only mean one thing… her body deceived her and Jasper got a full-on show in the dark room.

"Oh, no," Rose gasped, walking towards Alice like she was a scared puppy.

"Oh, yes," Alice quipped, a wry smile on her face which quickly turned to a frown. "I think I need a drink."

I raced to the kitchen for the liquor bottles while Rose helped Alice over to the couch to sit. Mister Daniels, Captain Morgan, and one Grey Goose made the trek across the sitting area with me, and I hastily poured a shot of each, not sure which Alice would prefer at the moment. She quickly slammed back the Goose, and puckered her lips right before coughing from the after-burn.

"Ugh! Man, that's awful!" she sputtered, setting the glass on the table. "Pour me another."

Rose glanced at me out of the corners of her eyes and I shrugged my shoulders, filling up the shot glass one more time.

Sliding the glass over to her, I said, "This is all you get, Ali, until you tell us what happened in there." Then I whispered to myself, "You'll be plastered before this hits your stomach and anymore would make your light-weight ass comatose."

"Fine," she groaned, throwing back the shot with much the same reaction as before, but this time she flicked the shot glass out of her fingers and it flew through the air, shattering on the floor ten feet away. "You wanna know what happened. I'll tell you what happened."

Uh, oh. Here comes rambling Alice.

"So, they get us into the room, right, and I can hear Jasper standing across from me, okay, and he's, like, breathing really loud, and I think he's hyperventilating or something, and then we hear the producer over the speakers counting down, and he's all like, 'three, two, one,' then the light shines on Jasper, right, and it caught him off guard, okay, so he curses, but just barely loud enough for me to hear, but I do, and I'm all like, 'oh no,' and, 'here it comes,' and there's nothing I can do to stop it, so I close my eyes and start panting and moaning and stuff, and before I know it, the light's shining on me and I have one hand massaging my nipple through my shirt, and the other, like, in my panties doing stuff, and I'm all grinding on my fingers, and that's when I hear Jasper bolt for the door and the producer yell something about, 'this isn't a porno,' or some crap like that." Alice paused and took her first breath since beginning her rant then finished quietly, "So, that's when I came back here."

She slouched into the couch, resting her head back, and stared at the ceiling, while Rose and I collected our thoughts about her reveal. Alice spoke so quickly that it took us a few seconds to realize she'd not only had an attack in front of Jasper again, but this time she was bathed in light and caught mid masturbation. Jasper and everyone in the control room got an eyeful of her double clicking her mouse.

"Um, okay…" Rose huffed, contorting her face while she thought of how to fix this situation. "Did you hear anything from him during the reveal?"

"Other than the curse word… no. I was so lost in my own world that I barely heard him slam the door on his way out. I was finally coming down from the orgasm when I heard the producer screaming at me to return to the suite. Jasper probably bailed because he knows he can't handle my issue. He'll be better off without my drama, anyway."

"I'm sure it's not as bad as you're thinking, Ali," I joined, scooting closer to her on the couch and resting my hand on her knee. "Maybe Jasper was overwhelmed, too, and had to relieve himself. He did watch you enjoying yourself. That's very powerful foreplay, babe. You probably just gave him the best show of his life, and he left to take care of his… issue."

Alice closed her eyes and Rose curled a loose strand of hair around her ear while saying, "I agree with Bella. From what you've told us, I know that boy hath it bad for you, babe."

With a sigh, Alice opened her eyes and gently smiled at Rose and me. "Yeah, you guys are probably right. The only way to tell is to meet him on the balcony later."

"That's the spirit!" I laughed, and we all hugged until Alice proclaimed she had to pee and catch a booze nap after her two shots.

Shortly after taking a slightly wobbly Alice to her room, a crew member escorted me to the dark room. I should have known something was up the second that dill-hole showed up at the door, but I was too nervous to notice anything but my heart trying to leap out of my throat.

The crew member fidgeted with his pen and notepad the entire way to the dark room, and tried unsuccessfully to make light-hearted banter as we walked. I was almost to the point of threatening to give his danglers to some dogs when we finally reached the dark room and he led me inside.

"Miss Swan," I heard a gravelly voice reverberate in the darkness… Aro, the producer. "Please stay standing in your current location for the duration of the take. No talking will be allowed. A light will shine on both you and Edward, at separate times, and you will be asked to leave after taping is completed. Also, no self-pleasure of any kind is permitted during the take. Any questions, my dear?"

I grumbled a less than enthusiastic "no," flipped him off for the jab at Alice's misery, and patiently waited in the darkness until I heard the door open again. My heart started beating frantically and I was sure my new dark room companion could hear it beating through my chest. I felt a flush creep into my cheeks, and I hoped I wasn't the only nervous person in this cage of darkness.

Not a minute later, Aro's voice screeched through the speakers that taping had begun. Shortly thereafter, I was blinded by a spot light positioned directly above me, but quickly remembered Edward, or who I thought was Edward, was getting his first glimpse of me since this craziness started. All I could do was smile into the glaring light and hope I didn't look like a lunatic.

Finally, the light went off and I let out the breath I'd been holding. At least that part was over. Now all I had to do was bask in the glory that was Edward, and hopefully, all of his hotness. Unfortunately, when the light came on across from me, I was momentarily stunned by the person who was standing there. Short, plump, smirking, and balding. That couldn't be…

"Riley? You motherfucker!"

The words were out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying, and I was flying across the room ready to rip his smug smile off of his pimple-riddled face. Thankfully, my portion of the room was still dark, so I had the element of surprise on my side, and he didn't have time to escape the wrath I'd stored up for this exact moment.

Barreling into his body with full speed, I dropped my shoulder just before impact, landing a direct blow to his sternum. I knocked the wind out him before he knew what was going on and he slammed into the wall behind him, slumping to the floor at my feet, clutching his chest and gasping.

"You bitch!" he coughed, rubbing the sore spot on his chest. Good. He'd have a nice bruise. "What the fuck was that for?"

Too angry for words, I grabbed a handful of his thinning hair and yanked his head back so he could watch in terror as my fist flew through the air and made contact with his nose. A satisfying crunch rang through the room and blood immediately trickled from his nostrils. But I wasn't close to being finished, so I kept delivering punch after punch to his face until I was pulled off of Riley's cowering frame by strong arms.

*~*EPOV*~*

"Whoa there, Bella," I yelled into Bella's ear, seemingly bringing her out of a rage induced stupor while encasing her in my arms and against my chest. "I think he's had enough."

"That bastard will never have enough!" she spat, kicking into the air, trying futilely to make contact with Riley still on the floor as I backed away.

"Save it for someone who cares," Riley whispered, but not quiet enough for her to miss.

"That's it!" she screamed, and broke free of my grasp, flinging herself at him on the floor. "You have no right to tell me what to do!" She was in Riley's face again, but this time she landed a round house kick to his ribs. After hearing a grunt of pain, Bella leaned down until she was eye level with Riley, and seethed, "I don't expect you to ever understand what I went through. Your brain is too small to comprehend the wealth of pain and sorrow I endured at your expense. All you'll ever be is the coward that couldn't handle it."

Spitting in his face, Bella backed up quickly and ran her fingers roughly through her hair. By now the lights were on and crew members had us surrounded in the room, but no one was ready to step between those two. Aro even came to watch, but he was too calm for my liking.

Grabbing Bella by the wrist, I pulled her back toward me and wiped some tears from her cheeks. She seemed surprised at the gesture, almost like she didn't know she'd been crying. But instead of looking up at me, she lowered her face in shame and played with the hem of her shirt. Now I was the one who was pissed off because Riley made Bella cry, so I decided to step in.

Positioning myself protectively between Riley and Bella, I asked, "Who the fuck are you, why the fuck are you ruining my date, and what the fuck did you do to Bella?"

"That's none of your business, cocksucker," Riley replied as he attempted to get up from the floor with little success. He quickly rethought the movement with another grunt, and clutched his ribs while staying planted on the floor.

"I beg to differ, prick. You're the one who's uninvited here, so we deserve an explanation. I'll make it easy for you. Why don't you start with how you got here?"

Reluctantly, Riley raised his head granting us sight of his newly broken nose, black eye, and swollen bottom lip. Way to go, Bella! He took a shaky breath and started, "I've been trying to get in contact with Bella for awhile now. I wanted to apologize for what happened, but she's been impossible to find, so I enlisted the help of my relatives around the country. My uncle tipped me off that Bella would be on this show, and I had to see her."

I snuck a glance at Bella and noticed her hands were clenched so tightly her knuckles were white and her face was verging on fire truck red. This dick was lying through his teeth and he was getting on my nerves with his evasiveness.

"You're a real dumbass if you think I'd believe that load of shit," I responded, taking a step closer to Riley, sizing up his puny ass in case I needed to intervene. "You will tell me the truth, unless your balls want to meet my shoe."

He cowered slightly, but kept his arrogant smile on his rapidly swelling face. "All right. Fine. I have wanted to see Bella. That part's the truth, but I've only just started looking for her. My Uncle Aro thought this show could use some better ratings and decided using me would be a good twist to the plot." Riley then turned his head so he was facing Bella, and added, "I just wanted to get in your sweet pants again."

Bella and I both flew at Riley, but between each of us scrambling for a place to hit and the crew members finally stepping in, neither one of us was able to land a good punch.

After being pulled away from the lump of trash on the floor that was Riley, I broke free of my human shackles and rescued Bella from hers as well. I stood there holding her until she stopped shaking and kissed her gently on the top of her head to let her know I was ready to kill this monster for whatever he'd done.

Then Bella took a deep breath and turned to look over at Riley, who'd finally managed to stand up. "Care to tell us all the truth and spare yourself more embarrassment? Either way, this is going to end badly for you, so I'd get it over with if I was you."

Leaning weakly against the wall behind him, Riley glanced around the room. He was met with twenty pairs of curious eyes, and two pairs ready to rip him a new one.

If Bella's look could kill…

"Fuck it," Riley gulped and sighed, "Bella and I met at a frat party in college. It was right after her hockey team won the national championship. Everyone was wasted… drugs may have been available as well, and," he shrugged his shoulders and winked at Bella, "we hooked up. End of story."

"You lying sack of shit!" Bella screamed and lunged at Riley. Thankfully, I had a good grip around her middle so she didn't get very far, but at least Riley had the decency to look scared shitless for a split second. "You know that's not what happened!"

"Then why don't you enlighten the room, sweetcheeks," Riley glowered and Bella stiffened, "because apparently I'm doing a piss-poor job of retelling the events of that night."

"You knew I liked you, and you took advantage of me," Bella started to weep softly. I could feel her shoulders slumping, her body folding inward, and I knew this wouldn't be easy for her. I held her closer as she continued, "I thought you truly wanted a relationship with me, and I stupidly fell for your lies. You had your way with me for months, knocked me up, then kicked me to the curb." Bella took in a long shaky breath and whispered, "You wouldn't even visit her in the NICU."

All the life, all the fight was sucked out of Bella in that tiny moment. I clutched her tightly to my chest, literally holding her up as her gentle weeping gave way to gut wrenching sobs. Somehow she'd turned to face me and buried her face in my shirt, and I glared at Riley. His features remained neutral during Bella's emotional breakdown, and made the worst decision of his life by uttering his next words.

"Did you really think she would have survived? You told me yourself her chances were slim. She'd had three strokes, was on a ventilator, and only weighed two pounds at the end. Why put myself through that misery?"

The funny thing about women is their emotions can change at the drop of a hat. One second they're crying into your shirt, and the next they're ripping handfuls of hair from an already balding scalp and breaking ribs with the force of their kicks.

Bella went on a rampage, and I happily watched as she pummeled Riley into a mass of broken bones and bleeding flesh. Reluctantly, I stepped in, pulling Bella off of Riley's lifeless frame. Shortly thereafter, medics arrived on the set, hoisted Riley onto a stretcher destined for a few nights in the hospital, and stitched up Bella's busted knuckles. Police showed up, too, and luckily, Riley didn't press charges. He must have figured he didn't have a chance at beating Bella in a rematch. The only smart thing that cum-guzzler ever did.

After being separated from Bella during her questioning, I pushed my way through the crowd that had gathered and found her sitting cross-legged and leaning against the wall. Her head was tilted back, eyes closed, and she sighed heavily with every other breath. We were outside the dark room now, and as I stared down at her, I noticed how exhausted she looked.

"Can I join you?" I asked and hesitantly took up residence next to her, mimicking her posture.

"If you're here to pity me, then forget it," Bella sneered, shook her head, and followed with, "I'm sorry, but I just don't have the energy to wallow over that selfish prick anymore. I've already spent years recovering, years planning what it would be like to beat him to the point of unrecognizability, and now that I have, I don't feel any better." She paused, took a deep breath, and slammed her fists on the floor. "It's not fucking fair! He stole the girl I used to be, ripped her to pieces, and put her back together all wrong. You may as well run while you can. I'm no good anymore."

With her eyes still closed, she allowed a single tear to escape and run down her cheek. I caught it with my thumb and turned her face toward me. "Look at me, Bella. Please, open your eyes."

Blinking open her eyes, Bella stared at my chin. Not good enough.

"I know you can do better that. Look at me," I pleaded, adjusting her face so she was forced to look into my eyes. "I know I can't even begin to imagine what you went through, but I do know you're better than him. You're stronger for what you endured at his expense, and from what I witnessed in there, more resilient than you're giving yourself credit for. Quit labeling yourself as the helpless girl who lost something, the fragile girl who gave up. Don't dwell on the bad things that make you miserable. Buck up, know that you survived despite your past, and treasure the experiences you want to."

A small smile broke on Bella's face. "You really think that? I thought you'd bolt the second you saw me go batshit crazy in there," she sniffled and looked away. "It still hurts, you know. Losing her."

I pulled her closer to me, cradling her body against mine. She rested her head in the crook of my shoulder and gripped the back of my shirt in tight fists. "I wish I could tell you it will all be okay, but I don't think that part will ever go away completely. Would it help if you talked about her? I'm not going anywhere."

Kissing the top of her head and running my fingers through her hair, I felt her relax, "Maybe not right now, but if you stick around for awhile, I promise to tell you all about Leah."

A/N: Show of hands… how many readers saw that train wreck coming? Bella showed Riley who was the boss, though, Aro was in on it the entire time (bastard!), and Edward said he's not going anywhere. Awww! But Bella's got some more recovering to do, and what about the other couples? What will they think about this? And who wants to guess what happens to the show?

Thanks again for sticking around to see what happens to these guys. They need all the support they can get, and you know what that means… Review and tell me all about how much you hate me, or love me, or wanna throw Riley into the ocean with shark bait attached. Can't wait to hear from you!

Loves and snugs,

M ;)