Hi everyone,
I first just want to say thanks to those who reviewed on the last chapter and to tell you to keep them coming as i really appreciate your views on the story so far!
I hope you enjoy this chapter as well :)
Also i will be putting a link on my profile for Bella's dress in this Chapter
Disclaimer: Twilight and all the characters belong to the amazing Stephanie Meyer!
Here we go...
Okay Bella, you can do this! Just walk in, let them do what they need to and then get out, simple.
I was sat in my car, getting myself ready for something that I should be looking forward to, my dress fitting for the wedding.
I'd tried to come up with some excuse so I could put it off a little longer, but they didn't buy it, telling me I had to be there. Of course I couldn't tell them the real reason I didn't need to go, no I hadn't managed to tell them that yet.
It had been a week and I still didn't have the courage to speak with my friends about Jasper. Both Alice and Rosalie still thought I was getting married to Edward in a few weeks, as planned. They had noticed that I wasn't paying as much attention to the wedding planning as I was before, I could tell, not that they had said anything yet though.
Whenever I try to tell them I end up chickening out and just saying that it wasn't important. I'd look into their eyes and see excitement, joy and love. I couldn't just take that away from them, I couldn't be the person to replace the emotions with hurt and sadness.
I took a deep breath, stepped out of the car and walked towards the bridal shop.
"Bella, there you are, you're late!" Alice practically pounced on me and dragged me over to the changing room.
"I know, I'm sorry, traffic" It was the only excuse I could come up with.
"Alright, well you're here now! I'll help you put the dress on" she dragged me into the changing room, helping me get changed. When I was ready she held the train so I couldn't trip and we made our way over to the mirror.
"Wow Bella you look Beautiful, it's a perfect fit!" Rosalie was sat on the couch, waiting for me to come out.
"Isn't it just? I knew this was the perfect dress, just wait till all her hair and makeup is done, and she will look spectacular" Alice gushed, I shivered just thinking about Alice when she's in makeover mood.
I couldn't agree with them, looking in the mirror, I wasn't me in this dress. The dress was white lace with a high neck. It was skin tight until it got to about knee length when the skirt came out, in a sort of fish tail style I guess. It was really hard to walk in and it just wasn't me at all. I had come to the realisation that this wasn't my wedding at all really, when my phone beeped with a text. Rosalie passed me it from my bag.
Don't forget I'm here when you need me, so don't worry okay. Love you beautiful, Jasper xx
I couldn't help the smile that the text brought to my face. He was so sweet, always knowing what to say and when to say it.
"Well by that smile on your face we all can tell that was Edward" Rosalie snickered "oh Bella, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen but I don't wanna do you just yet, let's wait till the honeymoon" she carried on in an imitation of Edward.
"Don't" she always took the mick out of him for being a virgin, me to actually. "I admire that he wants to be his own person, and if it's waiting till he's married then…"
I was interrupted by my phone again, this time it was Edward though.
Alice tells me you look perfect! I can't wait to see you at the alter so I can see for myself. Love you always, Edward xx
This time the text brought a tear to my eye, what am I doing! I'm giving him hope; he really expects this to happen. This thought made me sob, not being able to keep it in anymore.
"Bella, why you crying? You're meant to be happy, you were a minute ago!" They both rushed over to me, wrapping me in their arms to comfort me. I just shook my head and shrugged away from their comfort, I didn't deserve it.
"Are we done now? Can I please get changed?" I really needed to get out of this dress. I felt I was in too far and it was scaring me to think about how to get out of it, a part of me thinking that I couldn't.
"Course, here I'll help you" Alice followed me into the changing room, making sure I didn't trip on the dress again. When I was changed back into my own clothes Alice turned me to face her "You would tell me if something's wrong wouldn't you?"
"Of course" well normally I would have "you know that"
"It's just you've seemed distracted this past week and I've been meaning to say something but not really sure what I could say" She was looking worried. Alice was the type of girl who needed to sort out everyone's problems, she was a fixer.
"Alice, I'm fine, promise" she was giving me that look, like she didn't believe me. "It just gets a bit overwhelming sometimes"
She didn't believe me; she always knew when something was wrong. She left me alone though which I was thankful for. I would tell her, one day. I was selfish though and I wanted her as a friend for as long as I could.
Later that night Edward ended up coming over. I suspected Alice had told him about what had happened at the fitting.
We were sat watching a movie on TV, cuddled up to each other. He was running his hands through my hair when I decided to have a try at telling him.
"Edward" I moved into a sitting position and faced him. Okay you can do this, just say it. "I'm not a virgin" not that, don't start with that, god you idiot!
"Excuse me?" oh god he look angry. "What do you mean you aren't a virgin? You said you were Bella" He got up from the couch, pacing back and forwards in front of me.
I bit my lip, a nervous habit I had, and braced myself. "I'm really sorry, I lied, when you told me you were I was scared that you wouldn't have looked twice at me and I was already falling in love with you" I sobbed through tears.
"Why are you telling me this now? You've managed to keep it from me till now, what's the point?" he was defiantly angry, his nostrils were flaring and he had a raged look to him.
"I don't know" and I didn't, that wasn't meant to come out.
"When?" I couldn't believe the anger in his voice; it shocked me, made me jump.
"High school, just after graduation" I knew what the next question was going to be.
"Who?" I was right "Was it some stranger?" I shook my head, no. "So someone you knew well?"
"Yes" my voice cracked.
"Okay" His eyes went wide, figuring it out "Do I know this someone?"
I didn't answer him, I couldn't. My silence confirmed it. And there was only the one person he knew it could be. I could tell the moment he had figured it out. He rushed out of the room we were in, hunting for his jacket and headed to the front door.
"Edward wait" I needed him to stay, I didn't think I would get the courage to tell him everything again. Rushing towards him, I grabbed his arm, trying but failing to stop him. "Let me talk to you, I need to…"
"Need to what Bella?" he was right in my face "Tell me your sorry? Or is there something else you've kept from me? Sorry Bella but I've got to go"
He didn't give me a chance to answer him; he had already got the door open and was out of sight before I could even attempt to speak.
I found myself in my bedroom, lying on the bed curled up, wrapping my arms around me.
I don't know how long it had been but I felt the bed dip next to me and someone start to get me to bring my face up. When they had eventually achieved, I saw jasper, sitting next to me, looking at me concerned. He lent forward, brushing hair out of my face and kissed my fore head.
"It's alright Bella, I'm here now. You're okay" I just grabbed a hold of him, crushing him to me.
"I did something stupid!" Jasper shook his head at me but I didn't let him talk. "No, I did, I told him about us but not about the other night like I wanted to. I told him that I wasn't a virgin and then he got angry and started asking me questions, he knows it was you, I couldn't deny it when he asked"
"And so you shouldn't" he gave me a sad smile "Bella, he needed to know. You couldn't have kept it from him any longer; we both know that, you did the right thing"
I couldn't help but think that I hadn't, that I should have told him that I didn't love him anymore first. I had missed the opportunity and I didn't know when I would get another.
"How did you know to come here?" It had just occurred to me that I never rang him. I was so glad he was here, right when I needed him but I didn't understand how he knew.
"Alice rang me" Ahh, Alice. "Edward rang her, she said she thought you could do with a friend" she was always thinking of others. Wait if Edward rang her does that mean he told her? He must of, she's his sister who else would he go too?
"What did she say? Does she know as well?" She defiantly did otherwise she would have come here herself.
He just nodded his head and said "she didn't seem too upset. She probably understands why you did what you did. She knows you Bella; you hate upsetting people, you always make people happy even if you make yourself miserable"
"God, she's going to hate me when she finds out!" Who wouldn't hate the best friend who cheats on her brother and then to top it off cheats on him with the guy who she's in love with. I know I would.
"Just give it time, she will come to understand the situation and it will all be perfect again, okay" I couldn't believe he was real. How could I have been stupid all these years, when the perfect guy has always been there?
"I'm really sorry jasper" I kissed him, trying to tell him how sorry I was without words "If only I had been smart enough to realise I loved you way before Edward, this probably wouldn't be happening"
"I'm sorry too. If I had had the courage to just tell you how I felt maybe things would have been different" he took a breath "But we didn't Bella and we shouldn't think about that, it's happened we can't change it. We just need to focus on now, on us and then we will get through this"
I couldn't help but lean forward and kiss him. His lips felt so soft, so warm against my own. He deepened the kiss, leaning into me, pushing me on my back onto the bed and then he climbed on top of me straddling my hips. I felt his tongue sweep across my lips, pleading for me to open them so he can let his tongue enter, which I did almost immediately.
I hadn't felt like this in years. He was making me feel like a teenager again. The tingling on my skin when he touches me, the fire in my heart and the heat he gave my body when he started to move his hips. I started to move my hips in rhythm to his, it all coming to us both naturally. I remember hearing a moan but I wasn't sure who it came from, me or him, who cares, this feels wonderful.
His lips left mine for a moment while he looked into my eyes. "I love you Bella, you've been the only one and you always will"
"Do you mean you haven't?" that can't be right, he must have.
"I have only ever made love with one girl" Wow "I have never found someone as special as you that I would want to share myself with"
"I never realised before but we did make love didn't we?" it surprised me that I had never thought of it that way but how true it sounded to me. "Is it wrong of me if I say that I want you to make love to me again?"
"No, following your heart is not wrong at all. And I can't tell you how happy that makes me"
He kissed me again showing me. I found my hands gripping onto his shirt, dragging it up his body. He moved back, letting me pull it over his head, landing on the floor. My hands then started to caress his bare back and move over his skin putting everything to memory. I never wanted to forget tonight, just like I didn't want to forget that first time. His lips started to travel down towards my chest, leaving a trail of open mouth kisses on my skin.
"Are you sure?" he whispered in my ear, leaving a kiss as he went.
"Yes" I answered breathless, his fingers teasing me, stroking my hip under my shirt. "I want you, I need you"
He started lifting my top, giving my stomach a kiss each time he lifted it further, leaving a tingling sensation behind him. Finally he managed to get rid of the top and then he started to cup my breasts with his hands, sucking the parts that weren't encased in my bra, bringing a moan to my mouth. He reached down towards my jeans, undoing the zipper and pushing them over my hips and down my legs. I did the same to him, trying to remove them as quickly and seductively as I could. Once we were both undressed, except for underwear, jasper started kissing me, all over my body. My neck, my chest, my stomach, my hips, my thighs and everywhere else you could think of. My body was on fire and I don't know how much more I could take. Eventually his hands moved up, over my hips, his fingers stroking at the top of my panties, getting lower each time.
All of a sudden I felt nervous. I had changed a lot since that first time, he might not see me the same, wanting to be with the girl I was with when we were 19.
"Bella" I didn't notice him moved up so his face was directly above mine "Your even more beautiful than I remember" and just like that my nerves went. I wanted this, he wanted this, it was happening.
"Hmm, you're not too bad yourself" understatement! He was like nothing I could ever describe, perfect face, perfect chest, strong arms. Not to mention what I could feel on my thigh, I had a moment's thought that he would be too big but I let the thought exit my mind, not wanting to worry but to just enjoy.
Supporting me from behind, he got me to lean up so he could undo my bra at the back and removed it from me. I could see the lust in his eyes when he saw me, his hands massaging both breasts and his fingers started to play with my nipples. His hand felt fantastic and I told him so.
"Just think about how good they will feel elsewhere" he replied seductively. God he was going to kill me!
"Oh God! I want to feel you there, I need you" I could tell he liked the reaction from me because straight away his hands travelled down to my thighs, pulling of my panties.
"Magnificent" I couldn't answer him, I was lost in his touch. His hands were at my entrance, teasing my clit, moving up and down.
I moved my hip, grinding on his hands. "Stop teasing me!" he laughed and just told me to hang on, that the bigger the build-up the more intense I will feel when I climax.
After a while I couldn't take it anymore, I needed more, I needed him.
"I need you" I whimpered, telling him the truth "I need to feel you inside me again, we've already waited too long"
He moved his body, lining himself up with my entrance. There was an exchange of 'I love you' and then he entered me.
He started slowly filling me, being cautious of hurting me. I couldn't explain the feeling of him being there again, the thought alone making me moan.
"More" I managed out between groans. "It's okay, you won't hurt me"
Understanding me, he started to push in harder and faster. "God Bella, you feel like heaven"
This made me smile and jasper smiled back, kissing me. I still couldn't believe this was all real and that I had this special connection with my best friend. It was starting to become clear to me. I finally saw that it didn't matter who didn't approve of us or who we upset. We approved of our relationship and that was all that matters.
I finally thought I had the strength to tell everyone. Not only for the fact that they needed to know for us to have a proper relationship, but I always wanted to scream to the world that Jasper was mine, that I Isabella Marie Swan, had the love of the person who she was to spend her life with.
Hmm...
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