Chapter 5: Same procedure as every day

Five weeks later, Thursday morning

"Cameron told me to tell you to tell your parents that you're married.- Wow, that could get confusing!" Wilson greeted House and sat down right next to him. They sat on the bank between two big pines right in front the hospital. "Your mom called again..." Wilson added. "Cameron is right. You really should tell your parents that you're married..."

House remained silent; looking at two pretty young women who were riding past them on roller blades.

"Hey!" Wilson clicked his fingers in front of House's face to get his attention back. "You're married, remember?... And you should tell your parents so."

"They are already the last to know, so who cares about two more weeks?"

"You're acting childish." Wilson crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"That's the youthful charm, Cuddy fell in-"

"Cut that crap." Wilson interrupted rudely. "You can't avoid your parents forever..."

"But I can at least try..."

"House..."

"If I tell them, they'll be sure to want to come here..."

"And?" Wilson asked, relaxed. "You already spent an evening with Cuddy's parents and you survived that... Cuddy even went so far to say that you behaved very well... So where is your problem?"

"Wilson?" House looked at him.

"Yes?"

"You're annoying."

"House?"

"Yes?"

"Talk to your parents."

Thursday evening

As Cuddy entered her apartment, the pleasant smell of braised onions and tomatoes filled her nostrils. She dropped her purse and pulled her coat off before she followed the smell past her dining room, whereby she noticed that the table was solemnly set for two people, which irritated her knowing who had set it up, checking her peripheral vision, she found House in front of the oven with a wood-spoon in his hand instead of his cane.

"What are you doing?" She leaned against the doorframe and watched how he stirred in the pot with the spoon.

"I'm cooking." he explained without even bothering to turn to her, grabbing the saltshaker with his left hand.

"Trying to poison me now?" Curious, Cuddy came closer.

"Then I would let Wilson do the cooking..." He glanced at her over his shoulder.

Cuddy arched a brow. "Wilson can cook, House."

"Hm..." House stopped to stir and turned around to her. "You're right... Let's try again, Cuddy..."

"I beg your pardon?" Confused, she looked at him before she allowed her gaze to wander to the pot. Hm... tomato sauce. Granted, not the most creative thing to cook but she was starving and only because of the smell her mouth watered.

Impatiently he rolled his eyes. "What are you doing?" he imitated Cuddy's question from before. "I'm cooking.- Trying to poison me now?- Then I would let Chase do the cooking.- Better?"

Cuddy snorted, took the spoon from him and tasted a bit of the sauce. "It lacks salt." she said dryly.

"And arsenic." House added in the same tune.

"I thought you didn't wanna poison me?" Smiling she leaned next to him on the counter.

"Changed my mind..." He took the spoon back from her and shoved her a bit aside to get a better look into the second higher pot with boiling water.

"Hm..." Silently Cuddy watched him as he threw a generous portion of spaghetti into the boiling water. "Why do you even bother to cook?" she asked then.

He stirred the spaghetti. "Hunger?"

"No-"

"Oh yes, Cuddy, trust me. I'm nearly starving..." He gave a pinch of salt to the spaghetti, stirred the sauce again and turned around to face her. "The food in the cafeteria has been awful today. What was that even supposed to be? Re-digested paper-mâché?"

Unnerved Cuddy shook her head. "That's not what I meant." She glared at him. "Which you would know, if you wouldn't always interrupt my speaking... I meant if you were hungry, you would've ordered something... or probably steal something from Wilson, as always..."

"I don't stea-"

She ignored his comment. "And over and above you set the table nicely..."

"I did not!" House objected promptly. If he wouldn't need his hands for cooking, he would've crossed his arms demonstratively to emphasize his resistance to her declaration.

"Who did it then? The brownies maybe?" Cuddy arched a brow.

"The brownies don't exist, Cuddy..."

"Really?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest. Her arms were free to do so.

"Yeah, really... And Santa Claus is just a figment of the media so..."

"I'm shocked. So now that we count the brownies and Santa Claus out, who set the table then?"

"Cameron." House cut in smirking.

"Cam-eron?" Unbelievingly she gazed at him. "Please tell me you didn't force Cameron to set my table for you."

Acting confused, House frowned. "But that's what I said just moments ago, right? Wasn't that hard to convince her..." Halfhearted he suppressed a smirk. "I made her believe that she would be setting the table for her and me... Or did you truly think that I would waste my precious time with folding napkins?"

Instead of answering, Cuddy gifted him with that special smile, the smile that said he had given her something truly un-House, something he didn't want her to know about his 'true nature', and nothing could be done to rectify it... Just like that time as he had shown up at her door and had asked him if he liked her....

Corresponding suspicious, he looked at her. "What?"

Self-satisfied, she liked her lips like a cat who just discovered, caught and eaten Tweety. "You set the table yourself."

House rolled his eyes. "I just said-"

"No woman would fold napkins so uncharitably, House." Cuddy cut in, still smiling brightly and raised herself up now that her triumph was within reach. "You did it... so you're planning something... And whenever you're planning something, you want something... So what do you want, House?"

Suddenly, nearly insensible, the atmosphere of the room changed and the amused imperturbableness, that of which they had teased each other with so freely only moments ago, faded away. Quietly House reached for a small box out of the pocket of his jacket, which before, was carelessly placed on the counter next to him, but now was being handed to Cuddy with more grace. Observantly, he watched her while she opened it.

"What?" Confusion mirrored itself in her face, therefore his lacked of any emotion.

"My parents are coming to visit us this Sunday..." His voice was so icy that the room temperature cooled down a few degrees.

His parents... Slowly Cuddy began to take in the situation. Quietly she waited for him to continue, not being able to voice her own opinion just yet.

She thought about how she had felt during the visit with her parents... coming to the conclusion that meeting House meeting her parents was decidedly more pleasant than meeting with his.

Her insides warmed as she remembered how nice House had behaved during the dinner with her parents... Funny and sarcastic like always but also considerate and courteous and... lovable. Her parents had liked him. She had liked him... but missed his sharp cynicism, his desire for conflicts all at the same time. Subtly, she shook her head to free herself from her own confusing thoughts... There she had one dinner with the nice attentive House and she already missed his old self?- This marriage with him definitely drove her nuts...

"... I already booked a table for us at that small Italian restaurant around the corner, are you ok with that?" he carried on his explanations.

"Sure." She nodded slightly.

His gaze avoided hers. "They want to move on to my aunt next morning... I told them they could stay at our place over night..."

"No problem..." Worried Cuddy frowned. He hadn't told her all... "What about the ring?"

"The wedding ring of my grandmother." he said calmly. "You should wear it when my parents are here."

"Alright." Her hand closed around the small box.

He stared at the dark tiling. Behind him the water with the spaghetti boiled over. Cursing, but grateful for the interruption he turned back to the oven, turned down the heat a bit and stirred in the pot. "The spaghetti will be ready soon..." he mumbled quietly, nearly audible, then added: "I want them to think that this marriage works, Cuddy..." He stirred in the sauce, tasted it and grabbed the pepper mill, which stood on the counter right next to him. "I want my mother to believe that I'm happy. Only for once..." The sound of the grinding pepper mill nearly over voiced his words. As if hypnotized from the swirl of the stirring sauce, House stared in the pot.

"Ok..." Cuddy mumbled quietly, took a tea spoon out of a drawer near by and tasted the sauce again. "It still lacks salt, House." Gently she placed her free hand on his shoulder.

"We should prepare ourselves for my parents visit..." House explained half an hour later and placed his fork next to his plate. "You know... coordinate our stories, comparing our statements, practice kissing..."

Cuddy nearly choked on her last spaghetti. "Practice kissing?"

"Of course..." House nodded. "It should look as realistic as possible..."

"And therefore you need practice?" Grinning Cuddy arched a brow.

"Not me..." Grinning he arched a brow too, imitated her expression. "But as I kissed you last time in front of your parents or the time in your office you were a bit stiff, Cuddles..."

She snorted. "You just wanna make out with me..."

"Sure." He smirked even more. "I'm a man. That's my biological program... because of my genes I'm determined to want to have sex with you..."

"House."

"... but as long as this isn't an option I will settle for the next best thing..." he continued talking unimpressed. "Maybe it would be more relaxing during kissing if you were naked..."

"House!" Warningly she looked at him, but couldn't suppress a slight smirk.

"What?" Innocently he blinked at her. "I'm just trying to help you out here."

"Sure-"

The demanding sound of the ringing phone kept her from replying sharply. Because she was this time closer to the phone, she stood up and answered it, just to roll her eyes unnerved moments after. "For you..." she growled and handed him the phone.

House accepted the phone. "Yes?" Then he frowned slightly. "Wilson, what do you want?"

"To congratulate you, because you had been so brave..." Wilson explained cheerfully.

House drummed his fingers on the table which was noticed by Cuddy, who had started to clear away the table, with a questioning look.

"Your parents are coming on Sunday, right?" Wilson dug.

"Yeah..." House growled, the rhythm of his drumming fingers quickening. "We're going to have dinner with them... I already booked a table in a restaurant..."

"So a family dinner then?"

"Yes." House replied short spoken. He could imagine all to well how much Wilson must've been enjoying this situation right now...

Wilson chuckled quietly. "God, I would pay good money to see that... Maybe you could videotape it for me..." He sighed longingly at that thought. "Then I could watch it on my plasma... and eat popcorn... it would be a great evening..."

House's eyes went small. "In moments like these I would love to kill you..."

"But you would never do that..." Wilson pointed out brightly.

"Why not?"

"I am your only friend."

House snorted. "My only friend?"

"Yeah," Wilson replied gleefully. "I am the Ernie to your Bert."

Unnerved House rolled his eyes. "Stop watching kids TV, Ernie, it's embarrassing." Not interested into continuing this silly chat, House hung up.

Puzzled, Cuddy glanced at him from the kitchen door "Ernie?"

Growling House nodded. "Yeah... he considers himself Ernie... We need to find him a girlfriend... The poor man already seeks for happiness in fantasies."

Cuddy arched a brow. "'Seeking for happiness in fantasies'? That´s a lame remark..." Her voice was drowning in sarcasm. "Your jokes had been already better..."

"I know..." He shrugged his shoulders. "My parents are coming, and that always depresses me a little..." He tried to look really depressed. "Maybe a little sex could cheer me-"

"No, House!" Sternly she looked at him.

"Or you could just undress yourself?"

Without an answer, Cuddy turned around with her head held high and went with swinging hips back to the kitchen.

"I can imagine," He called after her. "That your naked twins could cheer me up in a flash..."

"Dream on, House!" Cuddy called back.

"I will Cuddy, I will..." House mumbled grinning, crossed his arms behind his head and leaned back against his chair satisfied.

THANKS SO MUCH TO MELISSA for taking the time (although it had been christmas!- hope you had a merry christmas too, by the way ^-^) to beta this so wonderfully for me once more. Melissa, you´re gorgeous!

THANKS to all of you who reviewed, alerted, favorite-ed, this story. Thank you so much for your kind encouragement. And a special thanks here to xatka, who sent me even some PMs and a little Huddy-game as a christmas gift. So this chapter is for you, dear, as a late christmas gift from me for you ^-^

Wheow, a long time since I talked to you, guys... Sorry, but I had been soooo busy completing the german version of this before christmas. But I really made it! I was able to hand my grandmother 74 pages full of silly Huddy-fluff on christmas! *proud of myself*

Well, I hope you like this chapter, please leave a review (cause they make me tingle with joy! AND they make me translate faster... there are still six more chapters waiting to be translated ^-^)

As always I give everyone who reviews a little preview (*giggles* yeah the long time apart hadn´t changed anything on my obsession with reviews ^-^).