A/N: I know I promised Harry/someone else last time but this just came out! I think it might take some time for the Harry/someone else come out, I can't seem to write it seriously…
This is different from my other one shots as Harry isn't the all knowing and confident man he is in my other stories… I just wanted to try something else…
Kurt couldn't believe how stupid he'd been. He knew Blaine still had feelings for him and he still had agreed to go to the party with him, "as friends" he'd said and thought Blaine had understood it. Harry had trusted him to go there with his ex and come back!
But it hadn't been his fault someone had decided to spike the alcohol-free punch (he didn't drink alcohol, just like Harry didn't either… he had no desire what-so-ever to wake up in a strange bed after making an arse of himself… damn, Harry's accent was catching…). On the other hand, it had been his fault when he continued drinking after realizing there was something wrong with his drink. In the end he had been so out of it that when a tall, dark haired person had come to him and led him to a bedroom he'd mistaken the person for his Harry. After that he didn't remember anything.
The pain in his arse sure had reminded him next morning when he had woken up with a splitting head ache to the door opening with a loud bang. He'd groaned and tried burying his head to the pillow to keep out the noise which hadn't been needed because the room had fallen completely silent.
"Kurt…?" a very familiar voice had asked and Kurt had lifted the pillow from his face to look to the door. The crust in his eyes had made opening his eyes hard but he'd managed just in time to see Harry's heart broken face before he had spun on his heels and practically ran out of the room. The body next to Kurt had moved when the door had been slammed shut and the hand on Kurt's hip tightened it's hold on him.
Kurt had felt the muscles in his neck protest when he tried to turn his head to look at his bed partner and when he finally did he came face-to-face with a sleeping Blaine.
Blaine. Not Harry.
Oh Gaga, why had his brains failed him when he desperately needed them?
He had been in… bed, his brains had informed him, with Blaine. Naked and butt hurting. Why wasn't Harry there instead of Blaine?
The party… Harry had refused the invitation, saying he had a big test coming next week. Harry had been at the door… heart broken, his brains had seen fit to remind him and bring up the image to the front of his mind.
For some reason his brains weren't connecting. 2+2=?
Why had Harry been heart broken?
Blaine had shifted slightly next to him and suddenly Kurt's brains had connected and a rush of information filled him. Harry had seen him in bed with Blaine, naked and all curled up with each other.
No… it couldn't be happening. Not after he had almost lost Harry more than once! He had to get home right now and explain to Harry!
He had tried to sit up but his head ache had protested wildly by sending a signal of blinding pain to his brains and sending him back to the pillows. Nausea had welled up inside him and he had tasted the foul thing in his breath. He must have managed to go to the bathroom or Blaine would have woken up to a bed full of his barf, he wasn't too sure about that… It may have been only half way to the bathroom… (1)
When his stomach had calmed down a little Kurt had gotten up from in front of the toilet and hadn't even glance around the bathroom to see if he had spilled somewhere other than his target. He had found his clothes thrown around the room and he winced at some of the wrinkles in them. Not that he was going to wear them together ever again, it was obviously bad luck if this morning was anything to go by… When he went out he slammed the door as loudly as he could, hoping Blaine had the same kind of head ache he did.
He had walked as fast as he could, limping as he had been, through the campus to the small house he and Harry shared. But by the time he had arrived the house had been dark and empty in the morning sun and Harry's car was nowhere to be seen.
He had opened the door, taken off his shoes and gone to the kitchen, it's where they kept the aspirin… and he had found the table filled to brim with his favorite breakfast foods, obviously made by Harry some time ago because it was all cold now. Was this what he'd have woken up to had he come home last night? Harry had gone all out and had even made blueberry pancakes.
Shame had begun to fill his insides. All through their relationship Harry had been more insecure than he had, the one who had needed comforting. It wasn't that Harry had two personalities or anything, it's just that he had been brought up to please people and in teenage years molded to help everyone. Then his friends had abonded him and Kurt had been the one to gather the pieces and build him up again. And now he'd shattered Harry's trust…
Forgetting the aspirin he sat to his normal seat in front of the table and stared at the chair Harry usually sat in. It seemed so lonely without Harry sitting on it, like it'd been robbed of it's fourth leg or something, making it incomplete.
A chair is still a chair
Even when there's no one sitting there
But a chair is not a house and a house is not a home
When there's no one there
To hold you tight and no one there
You can kiss good night
His hands went to the silver wear automatically and he cuts into the cooled pancakes. He made a face at the taste; it's not good at all when cold. Just like the house doesn't feel like a home without Harry there, shuffling in the kitchen or studying in the living room or showering in the bathroom. It was… too quiet.
With that realization Kurt turned on the radio on the kitchen table. It's some horrid pop song sung by some half-arsed teenage singer who sang only for the money and fame. Kurt knew he was a much better singer, hell, Harry (who was mediocre at best) was a better singer. He chuckled lightly and winced as his head ache reminded him of it's existence. He got up and began to put the food away, covered and anything that could be was put to the freezer. After that was done he finally got around to taking the damn aspirin and he silently cursed as it wasn't going to do much right now.
He made his way through the house to the bedroom he shared with Harry, ready to lay down, when his imagination decides to play trick on him. He almost swore he heard Harry's footsteps on the other side of the bedroom door and he opened it hopefully (just to see Harry's green eyes again) only to find it just as empty as the rest of the house. Gloomily he went to the bed and flopped down on it (on Harry's side, though). He cocooned himself to Harry's duvet and buried his face to Harry's pillow, inhaling his sent, and pretty soon he had drifted off to sleep.
Two hours latter he woke up to nothing in particular, or maybe the sunlight? Harry hated sleeping with curtains drawn so they always slept with curtains open. Opening the curtains was often the last thing Kurt did after he and Harry had made love before going to sleep next to his boyfriend of one-and-a-half years.
He sat up and noted happily that his head ache had gone away, even if he still didn't feel up to his normal standards but his happy mood left him quickly as he looked around. The room was gloomy without Harry, just like the rest of the house.
His heart squeezed. He may have seen Harry just that morning but it was only for a second and with a heart broken expression. Never again did he want to see Harry like that again. It had been… he glanced at the annoyingly ticking clock Harry insisted they keep, eighteen hours since they talked and Kurt missed his smile and subtle wit and how Kurt could just count on Harry being there to listen.
Everything in the room, no, house, reminded him of Harry. It was getting harder to breath with everything Kurt was feeling and he straightened himself to see if it'd help. It didn't. It only upset his stomach and he raced to the bathroom, this time definitely making it to the toilet bowl. Gaga, he hated this, throwing up when he had nothing to throw up any more.
He peeled his clothes off, still sitting on the bathroom floor, and almost crawled to the shower stall. The hot water eased the knots in his muscles and washed away the smell of alcohol that had clung to him all morning, along with the sweat he'd produced while throwing up. He just sat on the floor and listened to the water fall and concentrated on feeling it cascade on his skin. Slowly he relaxed and reached for his shampoo. It felt so good to get the lingering smell of Blaine off of him…
After he's done in the shower he got some clothes on and for once they weren't anything flamboyant even if they were still stylish. He breathed deeply and felt the need to get out.
A room is still a room,
Even when there's nothing there but gloom
But a room is not a house and a house is not a home
When the two of us are far apart
And one of us has a broken heart
He didn't feel whole without Harry and it only took a giant mistake on his part to realize that. He sincerely hopes that this wouldn't be the end of him and Harry.
He reflects on everything about Harry as he walks the leaf filled paths behind the campus, just wanting to get away from everyone. Harry had always taken him walking to those woods when either of them had been feeling bad or the need to just get away and let go. Or to relax.
A sentimental grin graces Kurt's face when he remembers a particular day in the very beginning of the semester. He and Harry had gone to a picnic and it had ended up being one of their more satisfying days together, in more ways than one.
The sun was already past it's high point when Harry finally could make himself go to the house he and Kurt shared. He'd been reflecting his relationship with Kurt, from the day two years ago when their eyes met just before a lecture and they both had felt the need to get closer to the other. Not once had Kurt seemed like a person who's cheat on someone just for the laughs. That's how much he'd come up with so now he just needed to hear Kurt's side of the story.
Now and then I call your name
And suddenly your face appears
But it's just a crazy game
And when it end it ends in tears
He didn't care if it was just to tell him that they were going to break up, he just wanted to know Kurt's reasons. He just wanted to see Kurt one last time. He has been the center of Harry's world for the past year, being there when ever Harry had nightmares or had needed comforting for other reasons.
He opened the door to a dark entrance hall, standing at the open door where he could hear the radio playing in the kitchen and his heart plummeted. Kurt wasn't home… was he still with Blaine? Would he just come ho-… to the house to get his things and then leave Harry alone for the rest of his miserable life? Merlin, he hoped not. Maybe they could at least still be friends…
Something slid down his cheek and he realized he was crying. Being friends with Kurt wouldn't be enough to keep him going, without him he was alone in the world. His wizarding ex-friends had made sure he wouldn't be able to be social with new people and his muggle childhood had made it hard to trust anyone. Kurt had been the only exception to both.
He wandered to the kitchen, readying himself to put the now ruined breakfast away but was surprised when he found the kitchen almost clean and a bottle of aspirin on the counter with an empty glass next to it. Kurt had been there, there was no other explanation. No one else had keys to the house and Kurt was the one who made sure they cleaned the house every once in a while… apparently he'd forgotten the radio on when he left after cleaning up... His eyes zeroed on the aspirin bottle. Why had he needed aspirin?
Now that he thought of it, Kurt had seemed a little grey when he had seen him with Blaine, almost like he had a hangover which didn't make any sense because neither of them (Kurt or him) drank alcohol. In fact Kurt abhorred alcohol more than anyone else Harry knew because of what had happened to him in high school. Harry had heard the story a million times but still managed a weak chuckle at the memory.
His heart constricted when he heard the front door open, desperately hoping it was Kurt, alone, without Blaine.
Kurt gnawed on his bottom lip and stared at the lightened kitchen window. Harry was home. Hopefully not packing his things. He didn't want Harry to leave, didn't want to be alone. That morning had been enough demonstration what it would feel like, living alone, and Kurt didn't want to feel like that ever again.
So darling have a heart
Don't let one mistake keep us apart
I'm not meant to live alone
Turn this house into a home
When I climb the stair and turn the key Oh, please be there
Still in love with me
Slowly he turned the key in the lock and soon he heard the click that signified that the door was now open. He pushed the door open, put his keys to the small table by the door, toed off his shoes and put his jacket to the hanger. Reluctantly he made his way to the kitchen doorway and froze when he saw Harry standing there with wide eyes, tear tracks on his cheeks.
They stared at each other silently for a while, both urging the other to speak.
"The alcohol-free punch wasn't so alcohol-free at all," Kurt swallowed. "When I realized this I was already quite drunk. In the end of the evening I was totally wasted and the last thing I remember is someone, who I assumed was you, lead me to the bedroom. Next thing I know I wake up in bed, naked, with Blaine and a killer head ache."
Relief flashed in Harry's eyes and a tentative smile made it's way to his lips. "That's all I needed to hear."
Kurt took a hesitant step forward and lifted his hand out a little, wanting to hold Harry and be held in return. Harry took the invitation and in an instant they were standing in the middle of their kitchen, hugging the living daylights out of each other. Kurt felt his shirt getting wet from where Harry had burrowed his face and realized that this must've really shaken Harry up, normally the slightly younger man didn't cry after a fight. He started to rub Harry's back and led the quietly crying man to the living room where he sat them down to the couch.
"I thought you were going to leave me too," Harry said between his sobs and squeezed Kurt just a little tighter. "I don't know what I'd done if you had."
Worry filled Kurt. Two years ago the rumor had been that Harry had been cutting himself, but luckily Kurt had never found any evidence of that, even if the man had been horribly depressed back then. Harry hadn't shown any suicidal tendencies during their relationship expect that he thought his life meant less than others and always barged in to save someone even with the cost of his own life. Kurt had had some sleepless nights by Harry's hospital bed when the stubborn raven had saved a little girl from a fire and a teenage boy from being run over by a car. The doctors had said each time that it was a miracle Harry had lived at all.
Kurt tightened his hold on Harry. "Never. You're the only one who appreciates me, or so it feels sometimes. You have gotten used to my little quirks like no other before. You are patient with me when I'm in a mood. You make the best vegetable foods, I swear to Gaga you do. And you know what's the biggest reason?"
Harry shook his head. He didn't believe someone else wouldn't be able to do what he'd done for Kurt. And he had no idea about that last reason Kurt was talking about.
"The reason is that I'm in love with you, Harry Potter, nothing more, nothing less," continued Kurt and kissed Harry's forehead.
Harry stilled completely and tears stopped flowing. Never before had Kurt (or anyone else either) said those words to him. He knew he was in love with Kurt, had been since they had been introduced, but he neither had said anything before…
"I'm in love with you too," Harry said shyly and lifted his head a little to look at Kurt.
Beaming, Kurt began to smother Harry's face with kisses, mindful of his partner's glasses. After that… well… let's just say that they were happy they didn't have any wall neighbors but the girl-next-door got a wonderful show since they forgot to draw the curtains in the heat of the moment… They couldn't look the girl in the eyes for the next month without blushing.
It happened to me last year… funny story… I had eaten only cashew nuts for the last 12 hours and my stomach had rebelled… making sure I slept around four hours that night…
I guess I should clarify some things about their relationship: they're equal. They switch roles in the bedroom, Harry cooks, Kurt cleans, they support each other and so on. There is no girl in their relationship since both of them know they are men, with a few feminine traits. They both need their partner sometimes to be the stronger one and are happy to be the stronger one when needed. Normally, though, I'd say Harry's the strong one. This just happens to be in one of his weak moments…