Uh, quick word of warning: I've only ever skimmed through translations of the light novels, so I don't really know 100% of what happens, though I do know the general events and relationships. Please bear with me.
Durarararararara ? ! ? !
Chapter VI: Durarararara
"The Dollars would care, wouldn't they? And I'm pretty sure they'd listen too. After all…
"…I'm in the Dollars."
…
…
…
The wind twirled silently in the air as silence loomed over the scene. Mikado stood speechless, the thugs lay on the ground with expressions of shock and fear, and Yuhei stood before them with a blank but haunting expression.
They didn't even scream as they ran away.
… Should I say something? Mikado thought to himself. After all, Yuhei had just saved him.
He weakly raised his arm and voice. "I-"
"I'll take it you're a member of the Dollars too?"
"Uh, yeah," Mikado stammered. "How did you know?"
"Lucky guess. You just seemed like the type." The actor then began to head off, giving a small wave at Mikado. "Those guys might've blown my cover. I'll see you I guess."
"Wait!" Mikado called out. Yuhei turned around. "Can you just tell me why you joined the Dollars?"
"Why?"
"Well," Mikado began nervously. "You're famous and all and I'm just really…curious."
"…" Yuhei shrugged before walking back towards Mikado. "I was bored, I guess. I had some fans from Ikebukuro who kept on telling me to join, so I thought, why not?" He took a moment to glance at the sky. "It's pretty interesting actually. How much influence the group has on all those people I mean. Addicting too. I found myself checking the website in between all my takes that whole month. I guess you can say that I've got a lot of respect for the group."
Mikado had to hide the smile his mouth wanted to form. "I see."
"Yeah," Yuhei replied nonchalantly before heading off yet again.
"Wait!"
He turned back again.
"If you're looking for somewhere to hide out at, I'm pretty sure the part of town my apartment is at is safe."
"Now who can I trick into doing this for me?" Izaya smirked as he held an unopened package towards the dim light of the alleyway. "I don't suppose there's anyone around here that fits the description to a tee, but then again, they're just a group of idiots. I can just drag any random guy off of the streets and they'd probably fall for it."
Kanaka's breaths were uneven as she sat crouched behind a trash bin and away from the informant's view. She paid no attention to his ramblings (not that she'd understand a word of it without context) and only took notice of her mixed and frantic thoughts in mind.
Would he remember her? Of course not! It's been years and it's not like they've ever really spoken before. Well, they talked once, didn't they? Would that be enough for him to bother remembering her by? But they've crossed paths several times before; he'd have to at least be aware of her. For all she knew, he could know everything about her! Actually, no, that's creepy; way too creepy. It's a possibility though, isn't it? If that were true, would he be considered a stalker? Not like she wasn't guilty herself. Even after moving out of Japan, she's been able to keep a track of his general whereabouts and has even-
"You're so convinced that I don't notice you, it's almost sad."
Kanaka jolted and uttered a shrill squeak.
"Just come out already. You're not fooling anyone."
… Well, here goes…
She slowly rose up from her hiding place and gulped as her eyes met his. Filled with both nervousness and excitement, she timidly uttered six words.
"Nice to see you again, Izaya."
…
"Do I know you?"
…
… Seriously?
"Uh, I'm Kanaka Tsukinara."
"… And?"
… Seriously? !
"I'm the girl who was in all your primary and middle school classes. The quiet one who always sat in the row next to yours. The girl who asked for one of your uniform buttons during graduation."
"… And?"
"For crying out loud, I was in Biology Club before they shut it down! I was the only girl in it!"
"Oh right, we had one female member, didn't we?"
Her eyes twitched. She was prepared for the possibility that he didn't remember her, but… Actually, no; she wasn't prepared. This was just ridiculous.
Wait, is it ridiculous? I mean, a human being is capable of seeing dozens of new people every day. It'd be understandable for someone as insignificant as her to be shoved under his memories. But she was the one girl who had the audacity to ask for his shirt button after that incident in middle school. That had to make her notable! Or maybe he was just a jerk who could care less. No, her precious Izaya wouldn't be that heartless.
"Is there any reason you're just standing there making faces that look as if you're suffering from constipation?"
Kanaka turned red. This wasn't going her way at all.
"Um, well, I was just wondering how you were doing these days. I mean, I know you're probably doing fine. Of course I wouldn't know the exact details. I'm not a stalker!"
…
… No, really. She wasn't.
"Er, right," Izaya said with a creeped out face. "If that's all you have to say…" He rose up from his makeshift seat. "I'll be taking my leave now."
Her eyes widened. He's leaving already? But she's only just found him. This one day might've been a complete chance meeting. Who knows if they'll ever cross paths again.
"Wait," she squeaked as she grabbed a hold of his parka right before he exited the alleyway. He turned a blank and annoyed expression back towards her. She gulped as she felt all heat in her body reaching towards her head. "Well," she mumbled as she darted her eyes towards the ground. "I…I was wondering…if…"
Izaya could care less about what was going on. From what he's seen, she was nothing more than a girl, who had supposedly known him, that has had years of bottled up feelings that she was struggling to let out. Shy, meek, and shrill, she wasn't his type at all. What she was doing right now was wasting his precious time. Just think of all the time he could've already spent searching for a perfect specimen for his little experiment.
…!
He decided to take note of her for the first time in their short meeting. He wasn't staring at her face or anything (though he was staring at something), but he was definitely taking note of her existence. She'll be useful…
"You're trying to ask me out, right?"
Kanaka's heart skipped a beat. "Well, uh-"
"Alright, so just meet me on the third floor of the abandoned department store in Shinjuku at noon tomorrow. It's one of the largest buildings there, so you shouldn't have too much trouble finding it. And just come in some slacks or something. No need to be formal." He began to take off before stopping in his tracks once again. "And just as a quick hint; I like girls with short hair."
Long after he left, Kanaka still found her knees resting on the ground as her thoughts constantly reran through Izaya's words. Even she couldn't describe her current happiness.
"My god, he can be such a jerk sometimes!" Mairu screamed as she beat a punching bag right to the ground.
"Tongue slip (I'm sure it was just a slip of the tongue)," Kururi replied monotonously. "Nice (He's usually pretty nice)."
"Whatever," Mairu rolled her eyes as she continued to beat on the inanimate object. "He still pissed me off. I mean, what's wrong with what we think is 'love'. It's none of his business."
"Calm (Clam down, Mairu). Break (You're going to break that thing in this rate)."
Mairu halted in the middle of another punch. She sighed. "Yeah. Maybe I'm blowing things a little too out of proportion here." She stretched out her limbs as she began to make her leave from the building. "Come on. The gym's no fun when there's no one else around."
The pair of twins found themselves wandering around Ikebukuro aimlessly and constantly got kicked out from store after store for both loitering and disturbing the other customers. After about three hours or so, they found themselves occupying the small corner of a convenience store nearby a sizeable magazine rack. Kururi slowly flipped through a leftover copy of last week's Weekly Shonen Jump while Mairu took no interest to the periodicals that sat in front of her. However, as soon as one headline stood out to her, she darted her arm towards the magazine and flipped furiously.
"Oh my god, it's actually true!" She gaped.
"Matter? (What's the matter?)"
Mairu bent over in defeat. "Those rumors were true. Yuhei really is dating that idol singer."
"Really," Kururi sighed as she joined her sister in her depressed posture.
The twins remained gloomy for another few minutes and in that short time, their stance managed to scare away half a dozen potential customers.
"Hey," Mairu shot back up cheerfully with no sign of her melancholy intact. "We've still got Shizuo-san."
"Right," Kururi giggled as she too shot up to a cheerful stance.
…
The twins glanced at each other's worried expressions. Maybe Aoba had a point…
"Is he still out of it?" Walker asked, pointing towards the van's driver seat.
"Yeah, he is," Erkia replied. "Well if someone went and married Sebastian, I'd be pretty upset too."
"Right," he nodded. "Kind of like how everyone pursuing Nene-chan can't help but feel like the other man these days."
"Quit talking about weird things back there," Kyohei interrupted.
"Well, what are we supposed to do?"
"Help me with my doujin?"
"You're doing that on your own."
"No fair!"
"Don't fight," Kyohei sighed. It really felt like he was babysitting the pair these days.
"Hey, Saburo," Erika chimed as she started poking the man's cheek with a pen. "Are you okay?"
"Leave me alone to die," he groaned, his head planted on the driving wheel.
"That bad, huh?" Erika sighed.
"You can try my method," Walker began. "Try getting into another idol and think about them both equally. That way, you can still like both of them, but not care as much when something happens to either."
Saburo shot back a glare that stated, 'Shut up. What the hell do you think you're saying?'
"I was just trying to help…"
"Idols have it rough these days, huh?" Erika pondered. "Like, Aya Hirano can't seem to do anything anymore."
"Yeah, with all the death threats and all."
"Oh yeah," Kyohei added. "She was that idol that some nut job tried to kill, right?"
"Tried to kill?" Saburo inquired wearily as he weakly lifted himself from the driving wheel.
"Not just that," Walker continued. "She got like a million death threats on her Twitter account."
"Death threats?"
"Ruri's pretty big these days," Kyohei said. "I wouldn't be shocked if she's getting the same treatment too."
"Nah. It's mostly just Yuhei Hanejima fans right now," Erika pointed out. "You know, the kind that call female celebrities sluts and whores and stuff. I'd be more worried about how the hardcore idol fans are treating Yuhei." She pulled her hat down in frustration. "My god, this is totally going to push back the Darker Than Black movie again, isn't it?"
"No, Ruri's got her really crazy fans against her too," Walker retorted. "They're even worse than those Yuhei fans with all the insults."
"Any death threats yet?" Kyohei asked.
"Plenty."
"What is this? !" Everyone stared back over to Saburo whose depressed state was now replaced in favor of an irritated demeanor. "They call themselves fans and this is how they treat her?" He quickly pulled out his cell phone and rigorously typed away.
"I guess he snapped out of it," Kyohei stated flatly.
"You're calling her a whore? ! Well you probably suck dicks every night!"
"… That's a bit much, don't you think?…"
A young high school girl ran throughout the city that afternoon searching for a wide number of individuals. Each time she stopped in her tracks, her eyes morphed into a deep scarlet glow and she'd search the grounds tensely before dashing over to various individuals with similar traits. The process went on for what felt like hours. It was three past noon when her stamina completely diminished and she found herself resting at an empty café.
"Are you sure you don't know anything?"
"Positive."
"Alright. Please tell me if you learn anything new."
"Yes, mother."
The same conversation had repeated almost endlessly.
A week prior, a small report of a slashing ran through the usual Ikebukuro gossip. The city had long forgotten the infamous "Slasher Incidents" that took place the previous year and only a few suggested their return. Even she was slow in suspecting their resurgence. However, as soon as another incident occurred, there was no doubt something was up.
"I wonder what's going on," Anri sighed before blowing away the piping steam of her tea. "Maybe Haruna Niekawa is acting up again. Should I try asking?" She took a quick sip before quickly pushing the beverage away from its immense heat. "But I don't know where she lives…"
After several attempts to drink the steaming tea, Anri reluctantly discarded it and paid for her unsatisfying break. She was soon back in the streets and into her repetitious routine. Unfortunately, she was unable to find any other of her children and quickly admitted defeat. Her head full of questioning thoughts, she decided to head straight home.
"Hey, you!"
Anri jumped as a pair of twins ran in front of her energetically.
"M-me?"
"Tell us what you think love is!" The girl in a Raira gym uniform shouted, her finger pointing directly between Anri's eyes.
"Excuse me?"
"Tell us what you think love is!" She repeated gleefully.
"Please," the other girl said softly, shifting her head away from her cell phone.
Anri blinked. "Um, well…"
Anri never did understand feelings the same way any other human being did. Love seemed the most puzzling out of them all. For the longest time, she'd always relied on her Saika abilities to understand the feelings she never could grasp; especially love. Did she love Mika? Did she love Masaomi and Mikado? How could she respond?
"Well…"
…
…
…
"Bzzzz," Mairu sounded off. She flicked her finger upward at Anri's glasses, causing the uncertain girl to flinch. "Took too long." She grinned. "Then I guess we're not the only ones."
"Um, I don't quite follow what you mean," Anri mumbled while rubbing her eyes.
"Understand love (We're trying to understand what love is supposed to feel like)," Kururi answered.
"Yeah, our friend kind of pissed us off this morning," Mairu explained. "He said that our concept of love was screwed up or something. We thought about it for a bit and I guess he kind of had a point."
"I see," Anri replied in slight confusion. Were they really making such a big deal out of this?
"I'm Mairu Orihara and this is my twin sister, Kururi."
"Nice (Nice to meet you)," Kururi greeted while sheepishly hiding her face with her cell phone screen.
Orihara? she thought. "A-anri Sonohara."
"And you go to Raira too?"
"Yes. Second-year."
"Hey," Mairu grinned sheepishly before suddenly reaching her hands out to grope Anri's breats, much to her dismay. "You're pretty well developed, senpai. They're even bigger than Kuru-nee's."
Anri's face turned bright red.
"Well," Mairu cheerfully backed away. "I guess we might see you in school then." She waved off as she marched away, her sister following in a more timid manner. "See you~"
…
…
… What the hell was that all about?
Emerald_Envy has entered the chat.
xINGeseALCHEMIST: (OMG, YOU JUST MISSED IT, WE ALMOST HAD A FULL RP SESSION)
Emerald_Envy: (Yes, I knew using a mainstream shonen would get us more ppl :D)
Emerald_Envy: (Why'd u run off today? Was it something we said?)
xINGeseALCHEMIST: (No, just found someone I used to know ;))
Emerald_Envy: (IZAYAN? O_O)
xINGeseALCHEMIST: (Maybe~)
xINGeseALCHEMIST: (Yea, so he asked me out and I'm gonna a haircut right now.)
Emerald_Envy: (B-but, what about Shizu-chan D: )
Emerald_Envy: (Sorry~ See ya~)
xINGeseALCHEMIST has left has left the chat.
Emerald_Envy: (…)
Emerald_Envy: (What is this I don't even)
Emerald_Envy has left the chat.
"Hey, what's on TV right now?"
"Let's see… Teeny bopper stuff, crappy live action on Cartoon Network, another rerun of Titanic, Nickelodeon trying to promote exercise, ponies, some stupid SNL skit…"
After all the channel surfing, the two viewers finally stopped at one channel. It wasn't because it was anything the two were fanatical about. It was just too horrible to turn away from.
(No, it's not E! running a Twilight movie.)
"DRx7 Omake!"
(It's something worse than Twilight altogether.)
"I'm your humble host, Masaomi Kida."
"And I'm Saki Mikajima."
…
"Say," one of the viewers pondered. "Why are we watching this?"
"Shut up, I'm trying to watch my train wreck."
"So yeah," Masaomi began. "What's up with those weirdo otaku that get so obsessed over those dating sim games?"
"Are you talking about that Love Plus game?"
"Yup," he nodded. "And to go as far as to marry one of the characters. A giant publicity stunt if I've ever seen one. But that guy was probably serious in the end. Total creepers, I tell you."
"I thought you said you really loved those games."
…
"Well anyway," he said loudly. "That was a pretty weak chapter segment. I mean, what was that? Constantly poking at the idol and seiyuu problem. I felt like I was watching a public service announcement."
"Can I see the remote?"
"WE ARE WATCHING THE TRAIN WRECK AND THAT IS FINAL."
"And you see how they mentioned the chat room having traffic this chapter? Probably lying."
"I don't know," Saki answered. "Fullmetal Alchemist is a pretty popular series."
"Yeah, like last year."
"That's it, give me that remote."
"MY TRAIN WRECK!"
And then an epic fight of epic proportions tore down the room.