Sorry this one took a while. I kept getting stuck at the Shizuo-Vorona-Tom segment (never thought they'd be so hard to write for), and at the same time, I've been trying to get my Persona-Durarara! fic off the ground. (Look forward to that in the near or far future!)
And I just realized that I've had the clothing descriptions for the twins mixed up. (Stupid, stupid, stupid!) It's only minor mentions in the last chapter, but I'll get to fixing that right away. Along with that, I'm going to go back to previous chapters and change any mentions of Kadota to Kyohei to keep the last name first name thing in balance.
Thank you for your cooperation!
Durarararararara ? ! ? !
Chapter VII: Durararararara
A young fourth grade boy walked confidently through the crowded sidewalks. A deep contrast to his usual morning mood, he greeted almost everyone he passed by who would in turn greet back nervously as they gawked at his snowy hair.
The previous day was met with scolding from his parents who berated his absence for much of the school day. (They apparently did not take well to being informed that the cops had to come to the school.) Anyone else would have been depressed, but his outlook on life today was actually more cheerful than usual. His peers could tell too. After all, they were all pretty creeped out.
"He's…smiling…"
"Is the world ending?"
creak.
"Morning class," the teacher droned as she walked sloppily into the classroom before collapsing right on to her desk. "Look, here's the deal: I'm feeling pretty hung over this morning, so just do whatever and don't make any loud noises." She lifted her head. "And if you call the school nurse in, then I'm lowering all of your test scores."
Hung over teacher plus school nurse equals a trip to the principal's office equals a possible trip to the unemployment line. You get the picture.
"Ugh…" The objects on her desk jumped up as her head slammed down.
"Wow, teach is pretty wasted today, huh?"
"This is like the fifth time this month!"
The boy smirked. Perfect.
As numerous groups of chatter erupted in the group, much to the teacher's chagrin, the boy quietly tiptoed towards the classroom door without notice. With just a small click of the door, he was home free.
"What was that?" The teacher gurgled. "God, you kids are way too noisy. You're all drowning out the light!" Suddenly, her head jumped up and her hands instinctively grasped on to her mouth. "Shit, I think I'm gonna hurl. WILL ONE OF YOU BRATS GO GRAB A TRASH CAN? !"
"Come on, lighten up, man!"
"Aoba, you got a bunch of third-year thugs to chase me around town for almost two whole hours yesterday."
"Well, you lived, didn't you?"
"What did you even say to them?"
"I only called them things as bad as (Whoa, censored!). I think they were just being too unreasonable."
"Oh yeah?" Mikado frowned. This kid was just really hard to deal with sometimes.
Aoba grinned with devilish eyes. "Look at it this way, senpai." He lifted up his hand, bandaged and crude like it had been for roughly a month. "Consider us even." Smirking deviously, Aoba walked away to leave Mikado in an irritated mood.
His thoughts were all over the place that morning. On one hand, he was cursing loudly at Aoba's existence. On the other, he was wondering how long Yuhei would be hiding out at his place and how much more money this would be tacking on to his groceries. Soon, it was lunch break and he was looking forward to ease his mind with his usual lunch with-
"Sonohara-senpai!" A voice suddenly blasted as the door slammed loudly open. The whole class was rendered speechless as the odd duo, a girl in a sailor uniform and another sporting the school's gym uniform, marched right up towards the shy class representative.
"Time's a wasting. Let's go!" The girl in the sailor uniform said, grabbing a hold of Anri's sleeve.
"Please," the other added on lightly.
"H-how did you two find my classroom?"
"We just asked Iza-nii," the upbeat glasses girl grinned, tugging on Anri's sleeve more.
With only a little bit more effort, the energetic twin successfully forced Anri away from her desk and towards the door, chatting to the speechless second-year along the way. After the two had left the room, the quieter twin bowed towards the class and possibly uttered an apology before politely shutting the door.
The class remained silent and confused for a whole minute. Signs of noise slowly reentered the room little by little, but only in soft and confused whispers concerning the puzzling event they just witnessed.
"Were those the weird first-year twins?"
"I heard they messed up some girls pretty badly on their third day here."
"I wonder what they want with Sonohara."
"What the hell was up with that?"
I'd really like to know, Mikado thought weakly as he sat, still stunned at the strange ordeal.
Tom and Shizuo hung around idly in the small office, sharing small chit chat here and there. Their attention turned towards the door as a young blonde woman entered.
"So, how'd it go, Vorona?" Tom asked.
"Well, he let me on to his property when he saw I wasn't Japanese, but then he started to say the most disgusting things."
"And?"
"I beat him up, plain and simple."
"That's just great," Tom sighed in slight aggravation.
"The perv was probably enjoying it too," Vorona grimaced in disgust. "But senpai's right. That old man has abnormal healing powers. Whatever he is, he's definitely not normal."
"Any ideas?" Shizuo asked.
"I don't know," she shrugged. "The best I can think of is a homunculus, but that's pretty nigh impossible."
"A what?"
"Homunculus. It's a being that can live forever."
"I've seen stranger," Shizuo replied offhandedly. Vorona raised her eyebrow in curiosity, but before she could further question her co-worker, he cut her off. "What's a freak like that even doing in a place like this?"
"I don't know," Vorona rubbed her chin in deep thought. "He could be the result of some sort of experiment. I believe I heard some rumors that Yagiri Pharmaceuticals was performing human experimentations before their merging with Nebula last year."
"Can't be," Tom said. "As far as I know, he's been living here for years, and hasn't changed a bit. Next to no one's ever been able to get into that fortress of his. I doubt a pharmaceutical company would even come close." He shook his head. "Look, I don't care what his backstory is. All I know is that he hasn't paid a single bill since he moved in. Do you know how much money he's got placed on him?"
"I understand," Vorona nodded. "I guess I probably should've asked him to pay some of it before I beat him up, huh?" She continued nervously, shifting her eyes to the side in embarrassment. "He's never going to listen to me now."
"Dammit," Shizuo grunted. "That guy pisses me off so much."
"You and me both," Vorona sighed.
Determination sparked within the two co-workers' minds. With all their built up anger and frustration, they concluded that they'd both do anything possible to get even with their common enemy.
Noticing the tension in the room, Tom shrugged. "Just make sure the two of you don't do anything illegal."
"I-I really should get back to class," Anri said timidly as the glasses wearing Orihara twin continued to drag her further from the school.
"You're no fun," Mairu snorted. "What's a day out of class gonna do?"
"B-but I'm the class rep, and-"
"There's two per class, right? It'll be fine."
"Wh-where are you taking me?"
"Away from the school. Duh!"
"We are," Kururi stated in a deadpan tone.
Mairu made an abrupt halt in her tracks, and faced back behind the group. The trio were almost a mile away from Raira.
"Oh, I guess we are," she blinked.
Letting go of her grip on the upperclassman, Mairu slung her bag on to the ground, and proceeded to scavenge through it before triumphantly pulling out a video camera.
"Alright senpai," Mairu started confidently, pointing right in front of Anri's confused face. "You went and said yesterday that you're also confused about love."
"Birds of feather. (Birds of a feather stay together.)"
"So we've decided," she shoved the camera towards Anri's face. "We're going to rub it in Aoba's face, and show him we know all about love. All about the different ways to love! We'll ask all around Ikebukuro and fill this baby up!"
"…Eh?"
"Come (Come on)," Kururi smiled as she tugged on Anri's shirt.
It was an interesting sight that day in Ikebukuro. A pair of overly enthusiastic twins dragged along a bewildered girl through the streets of the city even though school was carrying on. And they were all still in uniform too. Oh boy…
Leaving the bustling afternoon Shinjuku bullet train station, Kanaka marched stiffly through the city with a heavy heart.
Populated with numerous young adults and delinquents decked out in the latest Tokyo fashion, her lazy form of dress made her stick out like a sore thumb. She was all too eager to present herself the way Izaya suggested her too, and as a result, her once passable outfit and long black locks were now reduced to a simple t-shirt and jeans with hair short enough for her to be mistaken for a boy. And her lack of a noticeable bust helped little in the matter. She could feel the stares and rolling eyes of mockery as she passed through the streets, and tried her best to ignore them all.
Where did he tell me to meet him? Kanaka thought loudly, attempting to block out the rest of the world. He said it was the largest building in Shinjuku, but none of these buildings really look that taller than the others.
Wait, what if by largest, he meant in floor space? Shoot! How am I supposed to know if the buildings I just passed weren't the largest? Is there anyone I can ask maybe?…
No, no, no! She shook her head furiously. I'm already getting stared at. I don't need any more attention than I already have!
… But, what if I end up being super late? What if he ends up having to wait a whole hour for me? Or maybe two? What if he leaves because I got there aver three hours late? !
During these past few minutes, she unknowingly started making very constipated faces as she awkwardly walked, giving onlookers more than just her unfashionable looks to whisper about.
Her worries luckily came to an end. Having ventured far into a near empty section of Shinjuku, Kanaka came face to face with a building that stretched seemingly to the stars. Despite the quiet nature of the surrounding street, it remained the only building that was truly devoid of life. So, was this it?
Taking in a large breath of air, Kanaka sprinted right into the building, climbing the staircases all the way to the top floor.
… And there he was.
"You actually came," Izaya said calmly. The small phrase managed to brighten Kanaka's head to a bright pink, simply because the words were directed towards her. "Don't just stand there," he laughed playfully.
"Uh, y-yes," she squeaked nervously before shrilly dashing right over. Standing right next to him, her head was dizzy and her heart aflutter. Her usual mind ramblings ran on and on in her mind, but they were so incomprehensible in nature, no attempts are being made to try to present them in-story.
"There's actually something I forgot to bring," Izaya said smoothly in contrast to her unintelligible squeaks. "I was hoping I'd have the chance to go get it when you got here."
"O-o-o-k-k-kay," she stammered.
Izaya smiled and slipped out of his fur-trimmed parka before handing it over to the nervous wreck. "Here," he said. "In case you get cold."
Kanaka nervously slunk into the jacket, shaking and blushing as she fumbled through.
"Don't worry. It's not too far, so I won't be long," Izaya waved as walked away from sight. All Kanaka could do was nod like an idiot.
Gosh, she blushed. Our date barely started and I'm already acting like a total freak. She smiled. He didn't say anything though. Maybe he just doesn't care? Ohmigosh, I'm so happy! I wonder what we're going to do. Oh, I hope he gets back soon.
…!
rustle.
"Is that him over there?" A rough and thuggish voice asked in the near distance.
"Got a fur-trimmed coat like the boss said he would. Course it's him."
Kanaka's pupils shrunk to the size of an ant as her heartbeat sprang rapidly in her chest. Almost out of nowhere, a sizable circle of thugs gathered around her with sinister smirks, snarls, and glares. Her shock was so immense, she found no strength to cry for help, and could barely even sustain the ability to breath.
"Wow. He said this guy looked kinda girly, but I didn't think he'd actually look this much like a wuss."
Wh-what are they talking about? Kanaka repeated in her head.
"Well then," one of the thugs cleaved his fists together. "I'm sure you know how much trouble you got us in. A bunch of us almost got arrested because of you."
Wh-what are they talking about?
"And you know how we don't take kindly to bastards who screw around with us like that," another thug added.
Wh-what are they talking about? !
"Where's that sharp wit we heard you're famous for?" Another laughed in a mocking tone. "All it takes for you to shut up is to block off all the exits, huh?"
Wh-what are they talking about? !
Before she knew it, the gang charged right at her, armed with fists and knives. One was even crazy enough to charge with an axe. Even if her mind demanded her feet to take action and run, her will was too frightened to follow. Her eyes were wide open as the first hit came charging right towards her face.
And everything went black.
Izaya shook his head with a pitying smile as he skipped casually through Shinjuku. "All it probably takes is a really flat-chested girl to fool them. I wonder if they've noticed it by now."
He chuckled. "I almost feel a bit sorry for her. It's her first time back in Ikebukuro, and the guy she likes tricks her into something like that. It's her own fault though. How naïve can someone get?"
Entering his apartment, he waved cheerfully at his secretary, Namie Yagiri, who scowled in response as per usual. He slung on his signature fur-trimmed parka that was left neatly on his chair, and threw the empty box Celty had delivered to him the previous day carelessly to the ground. Spinning around on his chair, he recounted his day so far to his annoyed employee.
Rolling her eyes, Namie walked over to pick up the discarded box. It once held a custom made jacket Izaya had ordered that was modeled after his own.
Anonymous had recently been laid off, and now spent his days miserably lounging around in his cramped home. With barely enough money to afford basic forms of entertainment, Anonymous often found himself mindlessly channel surfing for several hours straight.
-BZZT-
"And if you order now, we'll give you a complimentary water bottle holder, perfect for jogging with water without having to hold in your hands."
-BZZT-
"But the thing is, kids these days just don't want to learn anything! If they're not going to classes, they're freely roaming the streets and going to the mall or the movies. And what are adults doing to stop this? Absolutely nothing!"
-BZZT-
"Akihisa, there's something I need to tell you."
"What is it, Hideyoshi?"
"I'm not actually a boy."
-BZZT-
"The next episode of Stardust Witch Meruru IS ABOUT TO START~!
"Meru-Meru-Meru-Meru-Meru-me,
Meru-Meru-Meru-Meru-m-"
-BZZT-
"In other news, a horrible incident had occurred earlier this afternoon in an abandoned building in the Shinjuku district. Several civilians were found horribly beaten, however, the perpetrator is currently unknown. All the victims are currently being treated in-"
-BZZT-
"Pi-piru-piru-piru-pipi-ru-pi,
"Pi-piru-piru-piru-pipi-ru-pi-"
-BZZT-
"After last week's discovery of the secret relationship between idol singer Ruri Hijiribe and actor Yuhei Hanejima, fans of both idols have started pointing fingers whether on the streets or on the net. To think that these two beloved stars have garnered much hate in this short amount of time is shocking. Both of their current whereabouts are unknown."
-BZZT-
"My Little Pony, My Little Pony. Ah-ah-ah-ah-"
-BZZT-
Reaching another station, Anonymous came face to face with a brightly lit set. Although the show was supposed to be off air at the moment, anyone currently watching was free to listen to behind the scenes chatter from the cast and crew members who unknowingly left the camera running. Anonymous barely had time to roll his eyes at the pre-sight of the show before he reached for the remote again.
-BZZT-
…
-BZZT-
…?
-BZZT-BZZT-BZZT-BZZT-BZZT-
Oh shit, Anonymous thought. For whatever reason, he found himself unable to switch channels. As a pair of teenagers walked on screen, he could only brace himself for the harmful pain.
"DRx7 Omake!" The pair shouted happily.
He felt the pain already.
"Poor Anri," Masaomi sighed. "She has to deal with those two weird twins for the rest of the fanfic, doesn't she?"
"I'm sure she'll live," Saki replied.
"Of course she will, but I can only imagine how much trouble those two can bring." His eyes shifted to a glare. "After all, they are related to him."
"There you go antagonizing Izaya again," Saki sighed with a false smile.
"Did you see what he did this chapter to that otaku girl? ! He tricked her into getting beaten up! And worst of all, did you see how easily he manipulated her into trading in her looks like that? She was a serious grade A cutie just a chapter ago!"
"Masaomi," Saki grumbled. "Your girlfriend's here you know."
"Hey, I can make comments on girls," Masaomi replied defensively. "If they're hot, they're hot. It's got nothing to do with how I feel about you."
"Oh yeah?" Saki's voice rose. "And when was the last time you gave me a compliment on my looks? So I'm not a 'grade A cutie', huh?"
"What? You're getting worked up over that? I didn't think you'd be the type of girl to get jealous."
"Jealous? ! Is it my fault that you constantly talk about other girls right in front of my face? !"
"At least I'm not the one who still has an Izaya complex!"
"Didn't I say I got over him? !"
"Then why do you keep defending him? !"
Anonymous blinked. What he usually got from this show was a pair of gushy teenagers always failing to do their job properly because they always went off topic, acting like lovesick puppies as a result. He put the remote down as crew members started making attempts to break the bickering couple apart. Things were actually starting to get interesting.
Yes. I decided to write a storyline into the Omake segment. Brilliant, right?
Again, sorry for the wait. I've got a lot of schoolwork going on, but at the same time, ideas for this fic is pouring in. Somehow I'll manage.
And as usual, whether you enjoyed it or not, feel free to post a comment. It makes me feel loved.