Author notes: The last chapter, finally, please review, and I'm sorry about the grammar but, frankly, a story with a plot this ridiculous doesn't deserve good grammar.

The woman walked down the great hall, pushing Voldy and the strumpet out of the way, she stood in front of Cat.

"Hey Gwendolen, still a total selfish bitch like old times I see." Julia said spitefully.

"Shut up, you stupid fat cow!" Gwendolen screamed at her.

"Oh don't make me cut you, you bitch!" Julia yelled back pulling out her handkerchief and starting to tie a knot in it. The handkerchief burst into flames

"That's it bitch! Tonino, Angelica!"

Tonino pulled his tongue out of Angelica's…throat… and walked over to Julia. Angelica and Tonino started singing the Smurf's theme song. Gwendolen started shrinking till she was three inches high and her skin turned green.

"What the fuck! I'm a Smurf" Gwendolen screamed

"You're not a Smurf, You're green!" Papa Smurf yelled at her "Brainy go get the cross, we is gonna lynch this greenie!" a roar of support came from the other 100 Smurfs as a noose was placed around Gwendolen's neck and tied to a cart. Brainy erected a cross and set it on fire.

Meanwhile, the other occupants of the Great hall watched on in a mixture of confusion and horror. Nearly-Headless Nick looked very amused while Hermione supported a look of pure disgust on her face.

Gwendolen screamed and turned herself back to normal, she then proceeded to stomp on all the little-evil-racist Smurfs. All that was left was a chalk blue powder sprinkled lightly over the stone floor.

"Well that was random." Voldemort stated frankly.

"Shut up you stupid-red-eyed-snake-faced-fork-tongued-pale-skinned-moron!" Gwenny screamed at Voldy.

"Don't you call him that, he's sexy" the strumpet Bellatrix and Albino Senior yelled in unison. They then proceeded to start firing curses at Gwenny as she screamed and ran around the room being chased by the only two loyal death eaters.

"See your stupid death eaters don't even like you!!!!!!!!" she screamed at him before laughing insanely.

After about three laps of the great hall Gwendolen stopped at the staff table, caught (the ever so sexy) Severus' arm and slapped Bellatrix with it, Bellatrix staggered off holding a broken nose and Gwendolen started pummeling Albino Senior with (the ever so sexy) Severus' severed arm.

Cat looked down at (the ever so sexy) Severus lying in a pool of blood on the floor. Hermione had stopped the bleeding but that was all she could do, Cat snapped his fingers and (the ever so sexy) Severus' arm grew back (minus the dark mark).

Severus woke up weakly and looked into the eyes of the beautiful girl crouching next to him, "Hermione…Hermione I'm sorry, I'm sorry about Dumbledore, I didn't want to…"

Hermione shushed him and held him in her arms to comfort him, rocking him back to sleep.

Cat turned his attentions to Voldemort "You no longer amuse me." He waved his left hand and Voldemort was sent flying back into the far wall. Bellatrix Lestrange tried to fire a curse at Cat but it backfired sending her into the same wall, she landed in an awkward position on top of Voldy.

Cat looked around for Ferret-boy, but he was nowhere to be found, neither was Scar-head he turned to Trip and Jayne "Where's Ferret-boy and the Scar-head boy-wonder?"

"They're under the table" Trip said removing his hand from down Jayne's shirt who protested.

Cat looked under the table to find Ferret-boy, Scar-head, Weasel, Longbottom, Finnigan, McMillan and Roger enjoying some kind of…orgy.

"Well that's… uh… different?"

Cat now turned to Gwendolen, she was still pummelling a now very dead Albino Senior. "Where's Janet?" Cat asked accusingly

"Who?" Gwendolen asked innocently

"Y'know Janet"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"The better version of you"

"How can you say that about your sister?" Gwendolen cried

"You tried to kill me you selfish bitch, five times over!" Cat screamed at the wailing blonde

"Oh yeah, that's why I'm here." Gwendolen said ceasing her wailing

She fired blast after blast of magic at Cat, which he turned against her, imprisoning her in a cage.

"Now you be a good little evil empress…"

"Evil Queen"

"Evil Queen, and tell me where Janet is." Cat said sweetly to Gwendolen

"She's at the pub (and she may be some time)" Gwendolen said truthfully, "I couldn't get any of them to obey me so they all went to the pub in Hogsmeade and got smashed."

"Thank you" Cat said firing a blast of magic at the cage, instantly turning Gwendolen into a roast Goose.

Cat disappeared for a moment and returned with eight exact doubles of Gwendolen, except that they were all very, very, drunk.

"Thank you Cat" Janet managed to slur "Hey Julia you sexy thing, come here." She then started to snog Julia's tongue off as the other eight doubles went out to find conquests at the house tables.

Cat turned to the cage and saw a pile of goose bones lying at the bottom, "Who ate Gwendolen?" he roared shocked

Everyone at the staff table pointed to Hagrid, his mouth, beard and fingers were very greasy.

"You bastard" Cat screamed "I was going to eat that"

"Sorry," Hagrid said meekly

"Eugh you sicken me… come on every one where leaving." After dragging Roger out from under the table (and out of Neville) Cat, Marianne, Janet, Julia, Tonino, Angelica, Paolo, Renata, Roger, Joe and all of Janet's doubles (minus Gwenny) disappeared completely from the hall.

Voldemort woke up, Bellatrix still on top of him, dazed "Well that was random."

"Shut up and kiss me you fool"

And they all lived happily ever after in their own worlds, except for Gwendolen and Albino/Ferret Face Senior.

THE END