Harry slowly strode into the Great Hall though the massive double doors; not knowing what awaited him there. The note that had summoned him here had been vague at best, but he was too intrigued to resist. He treaded forward and suddenly before him in the Head Master's chair appeared Albus Dumbledore. With owlish eyes he gazed at the image.

"Are you a ghost sir?" He whispered.

"No Harry, I am very much alive."

"But how?"

Dumbledore looked solemn for a moment, and then very slowly a grin spread across his features before he doubled over in laughter. Between great rolling chuckles he managed to squeeze out the words, "I'm sorry everyone, I couldn't help it."

With a flash, light filled the Great Hall, which was populated with all the staff and students. "I don't get it."

Dumbledore wiped tears from his eyes as McGonagall stepped forward, eyes twinkling. "You've been the object of the greatest prank in wizarding history."

Dumbledore began to hysterically laugh again. "You should've seen your face Harry; you actually thought I was dead!" The room suddenly dissolved into giggles. Harry's eyes roamed the teachers, his brow furrowing in frustration, he found the two "killers".

"And you two?"

"In on it the whole time." Snape leered at him. "Me kill Dumbledore? Honestly Potter, what were you thinking?"

"Yeah, Sevy here can't resist a good hoax." Cheekily Malfoy reached out and pinched Snape's arse, earning him a glare and a firm spank.

"Ron, Hermione?" He asked pitifully, hoping against hope they weren't part of this.

They came forward, clinging to one another in mutual giddiness. "Sorry Harry, but watching over the last week was terribly hilarious."

Angrily he turned to Ron. "Are you two even really going out?"

"Heck no mate, I'm as gay as it is, most of the family is too, except Mum, Dad, and Bill."

"Ginny?" Hermione turned a curious shade of red and looked away.

"Hey she wasn't a lesbo last year!" Malfoy shouted.

"You weren't a preening fag either!" Ginny's voice came from somewhere in the crowd.

"What the bloody fuck people!"

"Ah, I see Mr. Potter, this is where you're coming from. I believe your issues are quite understandable."

"Yes sir, and that's why I'd like to join up."

"Welcome aboard." He extended his scaly hand and Harry shook it. "You'll make a fine Death Eater Potter