Shepard was ready with the stretcher by the time the Normandy's airlock was secured to the Citadel. Kaidan moved an arm or rolled his head every now and then, but the attack had left awful bruising around his neck and face. His heart rate had slowed significantly, as well. Shepard knew Kaidan didn't have long.

The light clicked over to green and the airlock popped open. A medical team was ready and waiting on the other side. They took up the stretcher, shoving Shepard out of the way in the exchange, and immediately rushed Kaidan through the docking bay.

A medic scanned Kaidan with an omni-tool. "He's barely got a pulse."

"Move 'em out!" another medic replied, and the team started to jog with the stretcher all the way past the C-Sec checkpoint and toward the main lift.

Shepard chased after them. "Where are you taking him!"

"Huerta Memorial. Best care on the Citadel," the medic called back just before they disappeared into the lift.

Shepard stood at the checkpoint, his mind frayed by all that had taken place on Mars. They had Liara back and most of the Prothean data, but he wondered if Kaidan had just paid the ultimate price for that victory. The Illusive Man would answer for this. For everything. Shepard would make sure of that.

James and Liara caught up to Shepard just then.

"We're not going with?" James asked.

"We need to see the Council," Liara insisted. "They have to be made aware of our findings."

Shepard righted his mind, hunching over the railing that overlooked the C-Sec motor pool. "Yeah. We could do either of those things." He bit his lip, unsure of what to do. The afterimage of the Illusive Man's presence still lingered, taunting him. "I'll go see how Kaidan's doing before we get started. The crew comes first."

"Very well," Liara replied. "I'll head up to the Council Chamber and wait for you there." She stood up on her toes and kissed Shepard on the cheek. "Take all the time you need." She moved toward the lift.

James quickly saluted Shepard. "I'll see you back on the ship, Commander." He turned away back toward the airlock.

Shepard sighed. The bureaucracy involved in dealing with the Council, seeing his crew injured: these were all things Shepard had tried to avoid. Now they stood between him and defeating the Reapers. He could already tell things were going to get worse before they got better.

No sense worrying about that now. He needed to see how Kaidan was holding up, if he'd even survived the trip down to the hospital... What was he thinking? Of course Kaidan made it. After all they had been through together, this was nothing.

He said this to himself over and over. This was nothing. He still wasn't sure if he believed it.

He entered the main lift after it returned from taking Liara to the upper levels and looked down at the controls. His finger drifted down to key the Huerta Memorial button, but stopped when he saw a level that was labeled Purgatory Bar.

"Um..."

Commander Shepard is Easily Distracted

"Too Many Spectres on the Dance Floor"

The Purgatory Bar—which is absolutely unrelated to the Purgatory Maximum Security Prison, however awkward that is—was the newest attraction in the Presidium, built into a hollowed-out ambassador's lounge and halfway into the orphanage next door. Shepard was immediately impressed by how many people were lounging around or lined up outside. When he thought of the Presidium, he didn't think of a place with a pulse.

He made it through the VIP entrance using his military credentials to skip the line, much to the crowd's chagrin. Walking past, he heard an elcor in conversation somewhere behind him say, "Frustrated Resignation: I can't believe that bouncer carded me. I totally look twenty-one."

Inside Purgatory, Shepard's senses were assaulted by the loud music and the flashing lights. Asari dancers did their thing upon hovering platforms, which was a new one, and the bar area was crowded with people from every species, either talking about what was going on with the Reapers or trying their best not to talk about it.

"Yeah, my wife's still back on Earth."

"Oh, man, I'm sorry to hear about that."

"No big. I guarantee the second she gets in one of her moods, the Reapers are gonna rethink this whole invasion thing and run the hell back to space." He took a drink. "Where there's no sound."

Shepard spotted the VIP lounge that stuck out over the main dance floor far below. Sitting on a very nice couch behind the watchful eyes of a couple bodyguards was Aria T'Loak, the "Pirate Queen of Omega." He walked downstairs into the lounge very nonchalantly, not even registering with the bodyguards, who were too enthralled by the game they were playing on their omni-tools: Farmville – Eden Prime Edition.

"Every time I try to plant some corn, this Reaper burns everything and turns my little farmer into a husk."

"And then your husk comes into my farm and kills all of my goats. This game blows."

When Shepard finally made it to the couch, he noticed Aria talking to a C-Sec officer in very formal attire.

"So you admit you and your thugs are here illegally," the officer said, sternly.

Aria grinned. "Yes. And it only took C-Sec three weeks to figure it out."

"Three weeks? You've been here three weeks?"

"I even sent letters of guilt to the home office and Purgatory's not a registered business in any listing. I don't think I could've made my whereabouts any more obvious, short of putting a giant fucking neon sign outside my place of business... Oh, wait—I did."

"I don't care who you are—"

"I am Omega."

"—you're... What? You're required to go through processing like all the other refugees. Come with me." The officer pointed toward the exit.

"I don't think so." Aria gestured toward one of her bodyguards. "Sheerk, get me the asari councilor."

Sheerk sighed, still absorbed by his game. "Never name your farmer 'Jenkins.' Things always go south real damn quick."

"Sheerk!"

"Okay, okay!" The bodyguard closed out the game and pinged the councilor. A hologram of the asari appeared between Aria and the officer.

"Greetings, Aria." the councilor said, standing at attention. "Is there something you need?"

Aria stared down the C-Sec officer, a wry smile on her face. "I'm being asked to submit to immigration processing."

"Okay..." The councilor looked a bit confused. "I think it's one form, Aria. One page. Your signature and today's date is all you're needed to fill out—"

"Are you going to handle this? Or do I have to let everyone know about the little artifact you have back on Thessia?"

"That... would be... unnecessary... And possibly a spoiler."

"Then handle this."

The asari councilor groaned through her teeth, but did as she was told. She typed something on her console and a little green light popped up on the C-Sec officer's omni-tool. The officer cursed under her breath and stormed out of the lounge.

"It's done," the councilor snapped. "What else can I do for you?"

Aria suddenly took notice of Shepard. She resumed that mischievous look and grinned. "Commander Shepard has scheduled a meeting with you today, correct?"

"Correct. A meeting that he's very, very late for."

"Do me a favor and make life miserable for him. Whatever he asks of you, do the complete opposite."

Shepard cut in. "Wait, no! What I want is to save the galaxy!"

Aria shook her head. "Don't let him save the galaxy."

"My pleasure." The hologram faded away.

Shepard's mouth drooped open, his eyes still focused on where the hologram had been. He turned to Aria. "Why?"

"Welcome back, Commander Shepard." She patted the cushion next to her. "Take a seat."

Shepard dropped onto the couch, still properly stunned. "She's not... really going to mess with my mission, is she?"

"That would be a pretty stupid thing to do, wouldn't it?" When Shepard nodded, she whispered, "She's totally going to mess with your mission. Drag it out for a long time—over two discs."

"Damn..."

"Anyway, what brings you to Purgatory, Commander Shepard?"

Shepard shrugged, still pondering what Aria had just done to him. "I don't know..."

Aria nudged him on the shoulder. "Saving the galaxy again, is what it sounds like."

"I guess..." Shepard pulled himself out of his stupor. "What are you doing here?"

A scowl made its way across her face. She stood and crossed her arms, looking out over Purgatory. "Cerberus stole Omega from me. The Illusive Man is now squarely on the top of my shit list." Her voice took on an edge. "He will pay for every second I've spent in this bureaucratic hellhole."

Shepard cocked an eyebrow. "Wait. The Illusive Man stole Omega from you? That seems like a big deal. Why would he do that, and why haven't I heard about it?"

Aria reached into her coat and pulled out a comic book. "It's all explained in this four-part series." Shepard reached out to take it, but she pulled it back. "No, buy your own. BioWare needs to make money—"

[BioWare Plot Hole #54 & Shameless Product Reference #2 Redacted]

"Oh, yeah, I heard all about that," Shepard replied. "Good thing I read Invasion: that gripping four-part comic book adaptation. Actually hearing it from you would've been completely unnecessary and boring when I could safely experience it in comic-form, instead."

Aria nodded, hiding the comic in her coat. "Exactly."

"So, how are you going to get Omega back? I should probably help, since this is the first lead on Cerberus I've gotten and they're so blatantly connected to the Reapers in some way. Especially after what they pulled on Mars."

"I'll take back Omega one day." Aria smiled. "And that day is coming."

Shepard looked around, feeling as though he had missed something. "Well... when? I need to be there when you do."

Aria reached into her coat again and held out a box that read: Mass Effect – Retake Omega DLC.

Shepard punched the couch. "Oh, come on!"

[BioWare Plot Hole #55 & Shameless Product Reference #3 Redacted]