I hoped you all liked the first chapter, please tell me what you think of chapter two! Thanks for reading!
Hermione woke up the next day, thinking about the conversation she had had with Lupin the night before. 'Just a school girl crush' she had said. But did she mean it? Sure, maybe once. Maybe when she was thirteen. But the more she thought about it Hermione decided that it wasn't a little school girl crush anymore at least.
Hermione couldn't stop thinking about Lupin. She had gone to bed last night a little while after she had discussed her crush with Lupin, and he had gone to bed as well. She had thought about him for a few hours before falling asleep. Hermione thought about what it would be like to tell him how she was really feeling. But then again, she still wasn't exactly sure what she was feeling. After all, she had only begun to feel this way the day before. But then thinking back Hermione remembered that maybe she had felt like this for a few years and just hadn't realized it. Previous times Remus had talked to her during Order meetings or at dinner and she remembered how she had felt her heart beat faster then. She had been hiding her feelings away for a while now, even from herself, and she was only now willing to acknowledge them.
Trying to fall asleep that night, Hermione thought about what it would feel like to kiss Lupin. To run her hands across his chest and his arms. And then, she had fallen asleep, and dreamed of him.
Her dream had her and Lupin living together. They were kissing and he was holding her close to him. They were talking. About books they had both read, about books they were encouraging the other to read, about how their days at work had gone, about the Order and it's new missions, and about how much they liked each other. Hermione woke up and was sort of disappointed. "It was only a dream." She muttered to herself as she sighed.
"What was a dream?" A voice said from across the room. Hermione was startled and looked around quickly. It was Ginny, who shared a room with her at Grimmauld Place, and was already dressed, looking at Hermione with a smirk.
"Oh, nothing" Hermione said, smiling to Ginny. "Nothing." But she doubted Ginny would leave it at that. She was one of her best friends after all.
Ginny shook her head. "Okay . . .but whatever it is . . ." Ginny smiled and walked toward the door. "Was it about a guy?" She leaned toward Hermione quickly and smied.
Hermione shook her head quickly. Ginny knew her so well. "No." Hermione said, and it sounded slightly forced even to herself. Ginny looked at her skeptically. Hermione could feel her cheeks getting red.
"It wasn't!" Hermione said getting out of bed and avoiding looking at Ginny who was walking back from the doorway toward Hermione again. Ginny was still smiling at Hermione, and Hermione doubted that Ginny was going to leave it alone.
"It was!" Ginny laughed. "Who was it about?" She asked excitedly.
"It was not about a guy!" Hermione said as she started to get dressed. Ginny looked at her again with that look that told Hermione that she knew something was up, and then started toward the door.
"Alright," Ginny said as she laughed. "I'm going downstairs for breakfast. I'll meet you down there."
Hermione sighed. "Yea, okay." Relieved that Ginny had let it go for a few minutes at least, Hermione started to pull some clothes out to get dressed.
Ginny pointed a finger at Hermione. "And we'll talk about this guy later."
Hermione merely shook her head. There was no use in refuting Ginny. However, as Hermione was getting dressed she was glad that Ginny had gone downstairs. She felt as if she were about to crack and she didn't really want Ginny knowing about her crush or well, whatever it was, with Lupin. Not yet. Not until she knew what it was herself.
Hermione finished getting dressed and was still thinking about Lupin and their conversation from the night before. She smiled at the thought of how he had touched her. How he had rubbed his hand over her hand. How he had looked at her. Complimented her. Laughed with her. Smiled at her. Talked with her. Touched her. Maybe it was silly, but she just felt so happy when she was thinking about Lupin. And, she didn't much care if it was silly or not.
Heading downstairs to breakfast Hermione saw Ginny sitting at the table with Harry and . . .Lupin. Hermione practically tripped down the last step, caught herself, and looked to see if Lupin had seen, which he had. Great. Harry and Ginny, however, who were kissing, had not seen her.
"You alright?" Lupin asked as gestured to a seat next to him for Hermione to sit in. Hermione surveyed the seats. There was one next to Harry, but seeing as how he and Ginny were kissing and leaning into it, she decided it would be better if she sat next to Lupin, despite how she may blurt out her feelings for him. Hermione swallowed hard.
"Yea, thanks." Hermione laughed and she sat next to Lupin. "Apparently I'm still half asleep." How typical Hermione, she thought to herself, the guy I like sees me almost fall down the stairs. At least he asked if I was okay. That was nice of him. Hermione smiled.
Lupin smiled and handed her a plate that Molly had made for her. "Here, eat. Maybe you will wake up."
"Thanks." Hermione said taking it from him. She had a few bites, but all the while she couldn't stop thinking of the man sitting next to her. She could feel the tension. She wanted to turn to him and look at him, but at the same time was scared of what she would say. She wasn't really sure if she would start babbling, or fumble over her words, or blurt out all her feelings for him right there. He made her nervous. But a good kind of nervous. A nervous that made her slightly self conscious about what she should talk about. But she liked it.
"Did you sleep good?" Hermione asked, deciding that it was a safe question. Lupin was reading the paper and looked up at her quickly.
"Yes, thank you." Lupin said as he put the paper on the counter and took a sip of tea. "And you?"
Hermione thought about the dream she had had about Lupin. How they were kissing, holding each other close, talking. "Yes." She smiled. "I did." Hermione could practically feel herself blush, and wondered if the changing of the coloring of her cheeks was enough for Lupin to notice. She hoped he didn't.
Lupin nodded. That quick, little half nod thing he does that Hermione likes. Hermione gestured to his paper. "Anything good?"
"Nothing really." Lupin said. "I'm glad to say however, that the newspapers are now restored to their original editors. They are no longer void of crucial information or controlled by corrupt people." He smiled and so did Hermione.
"Good to hear." She said with a grin and watched as he smiled as well, taking a sip of his tea. She watched as the cup grazed against his lips, brushing the few days of scruff that he hadn't shaved yet. Hermione sighed, it looked good.
Looking quickly at her plate, out of fear of Lupin noticing her staring at her, Hermione finished eating her breakfast and Lupin continued to read the paper. However, after Lupin had been leaned on by a kissing Ginny, too caught up in Harry's face and arms to notice she was leaning on someone else, he decided to get up from the table. Lupin slipped out from underneath her and moved over in his chair.
"I think I'm going to go in the living room" Lupin gestured toward Harry and Ginny. "If you know what I mean." Lupin smiled. "You're welcome to join me."
Hermione nodded before she could say anything. She almost spit her food out all over the table. She couldn't speak fast enough. "Yea, I'd love to" She said with a laugh as she watched Harry and Ginny kissing. Her and Lupin alone? She got up quickly.
Hermione followed Lupin into the living room. Her heart was racing and her hands were becoming sweaty. I've done this a million times. She thought to herself. It's just Remus. I always sit with Remus. It's fine. She sat down next to him on the couch and continued to look at him before he started to talk.
"So, are you excited for going back to school?" Lupin looked at Hermione and gave her a smile. He placed on of his arms on the arm rest half behind him, and the other on the couch near Hermione. Hermione stared at it. She wanted to touch his hand. Have him run his thumb over the back of her hand like he had the night before. Then she realized that he had asked her a question and she looked up quickly.
Hermione nodded. "Yes. It'll be good to go back to school, I'm looking forward to it." She watched the way he smiled, the way his eyes looked at her, the way he shifted in his chair. I do like him. She thought to herself.
"It sure will be lonely with you and Harry and Ron and Ginny gone." Lupin said. "Although, I think it will be fine eating breakfast without people kissing and leaning on you." Lupin chuckled and so did Hermione. Maybe it'd be better if they were the ones kissing? Stop it. Hermione thought to herself.
"You'd think they'd stop just once in a while." Hermione smiled.
"Ahh, they're in love." Lupin said calmly. Hermione eyed him carefully, her heart fluttering. It was not often that men talked of love. And Hermione, being the hopeless romantic, and well, teenage girl that she was, found it incredibly attractive that Lupin was willing to talk about such things.
"Do you really think so?" She asked him. So many other people had described teenagers in love, especially Harry and Ginny, as simply hormones. A crush.
Lupin nodded. "Yes. I do."
Hermione looked slightly confused, but she smiled. "How do you know?"
Lupin smiled. "You can just tell. Some people, you look at and you just think . . .they are meant to be together. They're young, yea, but…"
Hermione smiled. She couldn't help but think of herself with Lupin. She thought about them sitting there, not as friends, but as a couple. Holding hands. Talking. Laughing. She felt as if they were meant to be together. Had he ever felt that way about someone? She knew she hadn't, not with anyone but Lupin. Not even with Ron. She shook her head. "You're different you know. Most people say that teenagers don't know what love is."
Lupin shrugged. "I don't think there is an age at which you become aware of what love is. I think it is the person."
Hermione smiled. Lupin was a great guy. He was so thoughtful and romantic, and not like any of the other guys she had ever met. He had his own ideas. His own opinions. Opinions and ideas that not that many other people had. And the way in which he spoke, the words he crafted into beautiful sentences, and beautiful sayings, it was endearing. Hermione's stomach was fluttering again and she started to blush, she could feel her cheeks getting redder. Hermione smiled at him. "Have you ever been in love?" She asked before she thought about it. Hermione was slightly surprised that she had actually said it.
Lupin considered her for a second and seemed to be thinking. Hermione was almost embarrassed that she had asked him that. It was a pretty personal question. And one that maybe be inappropriate, but she was relieved when he looked at her and he nodded slightly. "I thought I was once."
"Really?" Hermione asked. "Youthought you were? But you weren't? How old were you? Who was she?" Hermione couldn't help but feel a little jealous. She had asked the question. But she could still not help but feel slightly jealous.
Lupin laughed. "Yea. I thought I was in love. But, it turns out, I didn't know what love was either. I hadn't met that person. I was sixteen. She was a girl from school. A friend of Lily's."
Lupin smiled and then quickly, and slowly at the same time, a certain sadness was present in his eyes. It overtook his face for a few seconds, and Lupin was starring off. Lupin was deep in thought, and Hermione could tell he was remembering his friend, Lily. Harry's mother. It must be so hard, yet so incredible to him to see her son grow up. Hermione couldn't imagine what he had gone through, and Sirius too. Having two of your best friends killed due to the actions of a third. Hermione could not imagine, and did not want to imagine it. She gave him a few minutes before asking any more questions. Lupin coughed a little, cleared his throat, and then smiled. The sadness practically gone from his eyes, but not quite. "It was just a crush, I guess."
Hermione nodded. Lupin turned toward her. "What about you?"
Hermione seemed slightly surprised by the question. She laughed as if she thought what Lupin had said was funny. "Me? No." Hermione thought about the dream she had of Lupin. She thought about the feelings that she only recently discovered she had for him and part of her wanted to tell him that she thought she was in love with him. "Nobody even likes me. I'm smart and mature, and I'd rather read a book than go out." Hermione laughed. "No. Not me."
"You will." Lupin said softly. "Someone will fall in love with you Hermione. You are a great girl. You just need a great guy to see that. And you will." Lupin's tone was reassuring, comforting. Hermione smiled and could feel herself blushing. Lupin was really considerate, and really caring, and Hermione could feel her stomach and her heart flkuttering again.
She wanted to say, 'I'm in love with you'. Hermione looked at him and saw how he was looking at her. With those grey eyes full of kindness and understanding. He made her feel so much better, and she wondered how she had not noticed these feelings she had for him before. She wanted to kiss him, run her hands through his hair. But instead, she said, "Thank you."
Lupin shrugged. It looked as if he were about to say something else when Sirius came into the living room. He plopped down on the couch next to Lupin.
"Good morning" He said to Lupin and then to Hermione. "What's going on in here? I had to get away from all the smooching in there." Sirius gestured toward the kitchen. "How do they expect people to eat when they are kissing and leaning all over them?"
Lupin and Hermione laughed. "We had to move too" Hermione said.
"I mean really . . ." Sirius laughed. "I suppose I should step in . . .tell my godson to cool it." Sirius smiled. "But, honestly, I'm pretty proud that he resembles his godfather in that way."
Lupin smirked and shook his head. Hermione giggled. "I bet you were quite the lady's man."
Sirius smiled.
Hermione looked toward Lupin. "And you?"
Sirius laughed. Lupin simply smirked. "Yea . . .Moony here liked to spend his time in the common room reading." Sirius chuckled. "I think he had one date the whole time we were at Hogwarts. Moony liked to spend his time doing homework."
"It was more than one date." Lupin said a bit defensively, and Hermione chuckled as Sirius shook his head in the background. "I had a girlfriend for a few months. And there's nothing wrong with doing homework."
Sirius smiled. "That's Moony for you!"
Hermione smiled as well. "There is nothing wrong with doing homework, Remus. I agree." Hermione gestured toward Sirius. "You should take a lesson from him, Sirius."
Sirius snorted. "Yea, okay." He got up off the couch. "I'll just leave you two book worms together. I'm going to go find myself something exciting to do."
"Yea, whatever" Hermione joked. "Remus and I will have fun together!" She laughed. Right after she said it, she realized that it sounded weird, and she didn't mean it to be the innuendo that she knew Sirius would interpret it as. Sirius grinned and raised an eyebrow.
"Really?" He laughed. Remus hit him in the ribs.
"Oh, come on Sirius!" Remus laughed.
"Alright, I'll just leave you two to have . . ." Sirius looked at Hermione. "fun." He said as he made air quotes with his fingers. Sirius laughed.
Remus threw a pillow at Sirius as he left the room and Hermione couldn't help but laugh. She really did want to have 'fun' with Lupin. Right here on the couch. She cleared her throat.
"Sirius . . ." Lupin laughed slightly awkwardly. Hermione smiled. There was a little bit of tension in the air now, and Hermione kind of liked it. But she wasn't sure.
"That's Sirius" She grinned. She didn't really know what else to say. She could tell that Lupin felt slightly awkward about Sirius' remark, and it made her think about how he viewed her. As a friend? That it would be weird if they were having 'fun'? Or as a student, the child she had been when she first met him? It made her slightly disappointed.
The two looked at each other for a few minutes before saying anything. Lupin finally picked up the paper he had been reading, and looking slightly awkward, got up off the couch.
"I have to go." He said quickly, and he diverted his eyes from Hermione's. "I've gotta find a job sometime." Lupin laughed slightly and so did Hermione. Now? He had to go find a job now? Right after Sirius made a remark about an innuendo about the two of them? She sighed.
"Yea." She said. She was thinking about what Sirius had just said could not blame Lupin for acting slightly awkward, because Hermione was feeling slightly awkward herself. She watched Lupin leave the room and sighed, sitting into the back of couch. Oh Sirius! She thought to herself angrily. But then again, Sirius had opened a door that she wouldn't have. The idea of the two of them was now actually an idea. Whether Sirius was joking or not, Lupin had to have considered it, right?
"I'll see you later" Lupin said to Hermione as he walked out of the room.
"Yea. I'll see you later." Hermione replied back, thinking about what Lupin was thinking about. Was he bothered by the idea of himself with Hermione? Was that why he felt so awkward. Was he wondering why he would ever want to be with her? Or, Hermione thought to herself, was he awkward because he felt the same way as she did? Did he like her too and feel that she wouldn't ever like him, so he kept it to himself? Hermione liked that idea, but she decided that it probably wasn't what he was thinking. Why would he like her after all? She was so much younger than him. Far less mature. Far less experienced. And, his former student to make it even better. Hermione sighed and got off the couch and walked into the kitchen were she saw Ginny alone.
"Hey" Ginny said as Hermione sat down next to her. "What's going on?"
"Nothing" Hermione said and she tried to pretend she wasn't disappointed. She pushed a few dishes away from her and played with a fork that was in front of her.
"It's Remus" Ginny smiled. "Isn't it?"
Hermione looked to Ginny quickly. She was so surprised to hear Ginny say that. How did she know? Was it obvious? Hermione's eyes widened.
"It is isn't it?" Ginny smiled again and Hermione simply looked at her. Ginny was using that tone again. The one she had used earlier that morning.
"How did you-"
"So it is!" Ginny said excitedly. "It is about him? The dream?"
Hermione considered lying to Ginny. She thought about telling her that the dream had nothing to do with Remus and was instead about some boy at school that Ginny had never heard of. But Hermione realized that she would have to tell Ginny sometime. After all Ginny was her best friend that was a girl. She was going to confide in her at some point about liking Lupin. Hermione nodded and smiled. "Yea"
Hermione wasn't sure what to expect. She thought that Ginny would be bothered by her crush on Lupin. After all he was a former teacher and nineteen years older than her. She expected Ginny to disapprove.
Ginny smiled and shrieked. "That's so cute!" She said as she hugged Hermione who was relieved to see Ginny hug her rather than smack her across the face or yell at her. "That's adorable. I can see you guys together. When did you start to like him? And why didn't you tell me!"
Hermione smiled. "I don't know. I had a crush on him when I was thirteen" Hermione said, and she explained how she thought that this time it was simply a crush again.
"But then I remembered how I had felt at some of the Order meetings or at dinner when Remus would talk to me and . . ." Hermione smiled. "I guess I've kinda liked him for a few years."
Ginny smiled. "That's great! So what was the dream about?"
Hermione smiled, "Well, I think we were married."
Ginny gasped and Hermione laughed. "And we were kissing and touching and . . ." Hermione sighed. Ginny smiled.
"I can see this relationship happening." Ginny said as she nodded.
Hermione smiled. "Yea, well, the only thing is that he doesn't know that I like him."
Ginny looked at Hermione for a second. "Tell him."
Like it was that easy. Tell him. Just tell him? Hermione shook her head. "I'm not going to tell him"
"Why?" Ginny asked, her tone sounding as if Hermione's actions were absolutely ridiculous. It was as if Hermione told her she did not like chocolate.
Hermione looked confused. She, unlike Ginny, thought it was quite obvious "Because he would never like someone like me! I'm nineteen years younger than him, I'm a nerd, and well . . ."
"Oh come on Hermione!" Ginny said. "He clearly likes you too! You guys have the same personality. You're both kind and smart and . . ." Ginny shrieked. "You too would be so great as a couple."
Hermione shrugged but she couldn't help but smile. Ginny had reassured her somewhat, and she really did want to tell Remus how she felt. "You really think so?"
"Yes" Ginny said quickly.
"And you don't . . .you know, think it's weird that he was our professor?" Hermione asked shyly.
Ginny shook her head. "No. I mean you guys have a strong friendship. You're relationship moved beyond professor and student years ago. You guys have actually become friends outside of school. You're on a first name basis!"
Hermione nodded. Ginny was right. Out of all the students that Lupin had taught, only the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione had maintained a relationship with him that extended to friendship.
"You're right." Hermione said. "I just, I don't really know if I should tell him. I mean, what if he doesn't think it's a good idea. Then it'd be awkward around him and stuff."
"Hermione," Ginny said, "you won't know if you don't ask him."
Hermione shook her head and Ginny continued.
"We're going back to school in two days. It's the perfect time to ask him. If he doesn't have feelings for you, then it'll be fine because you will go off to school and you won't see him for a few months and the awkwardness will be small, and if he does like you too, which he does, then you'll know before you go off to school!" Ginny said.
Hermione nodded. She really wanted to do this, and Ginny was making a lot of sense. She didn't want to have to wait until she saw Lupin again months after school started to confront him about this. But she was still nervous of how he might react. She liked her friendship with Lupin, a lot, and she didn't want to jeopardize it by telling him that she had feelings for him that he may not share.
"Okay, but . . ." Hermione said, still wondering if it was the best idea to tell her old professor that she loved him. "How do you know he likes me too?"
Ginny looked to Hermione as if she were missing the obvious. "Hermione!"
Hermione gestured her hands in an 'I don't know' motion and shrugged. "What?"
"Do you ever see Remus sitting with me alone in the living room? Or talking up late at night?"
"Well . . ." Hermione said. Now that Ginny said it, Lupin didn't really seem to ever be alone with any other girls besides herself.
"Exactly." Ginny smiled. "And plus, the way he looks at you."
Hermione smiled. "He looks at me?" She felt herself get excited. She laughed and shook her head. Really? He looked at her sometimes?
Ginny smiled. "Yea. When he thinks people aren't looking, I sometimes catch him glancing at you. And it's not like how he looks at Harry or Ron or me. It's different."
Hermione couldn't help but smile. "He does?"
"I wouldn't tell you if he didn't!" Ginny laughed. "He obviously likes you. He's just too shy to tell you. Lupin probably thinks that you'd never like him. He likes you Hermione, trust me."
Hermione shrugged however. "Yea, but . . ."
"Hermione, do you love Remus?" Ginny asked sternly, looking at Hermione almost threateningly.
Hermione smiled. "I, I don't know. I like him a lot. I think I do." She could feel the fluttering of her stomach.
Ginny smiled too. "Well then you need to tell him. Before you go to school!"
Hermione nodded. "I'm going to do it." She said. Hermione was determined. If what Ginny had said was true, then maybe Lupin liked her too. And if he didn't, then she'd have the advantage of going to Hogwarts.
"Good!" Ginny smiled and hugged Hermione.
"Yea" Hermione said. "I'm going to tell him."
Please review and let me know what you think of chapter two! I just edited a few things, added a little more here and there, nothing too drastic. I am going back through all the chapters and making them flow smoother. Please tell me what you think!