I hope you guys like the story so far, please continue to read and review! This chapter will start to get a little bit more action.
I revised A LOT in this chapter. I added Sirius in some more because I really like him and I wanted him to be in this story more than he already was. Please let me know what you think! Thanks, please review!
Hermione's conversation with Ginny lasted a few more minutes before Harry had come back downstairs with Ron and sat at the breakfast table with them. However, by that time, the girls had managed to figure out a plan in which Hermione was going to tell Lupin her feelings for him, and simply giggled as the boys sat down.
The girls had decided that Hermione would talk to Lupin about how she wanted to be more than friends, after dinner the night before they left for school. Ginny would make sure that everyone else was engaged in some conversation or what not in the kitchen and then make sure that everyone besides herself, Hermione and Lupin went to bed. Ginny would then pretend that she needed Lupin's help on some last minute homework problem and would go upstairs and pretend to get her stuff, telling Lupin to wait for her in the living room. Then Hermione would be able to talk to Lupin alone.
Hermione was anxious and she hoped the plan worked. She wanted so badly to tell Lupin how she was feeling. Every time she looked at him it was as if her heart automatically started beating a hundred times faster. Her cheeks would flush a bright pink that spread across her embarrassed face and turn it darker. Hermione's voice refused to work and would not cooperate at all. She would think of something intellectual to talk to him about, something that wouldn't make her look stupid, and then after much stuttering, jumbling of words, and an 'er' or 'ughh' in between every word, she managed to say something that was nothing like what she had planned, and usually made no sense. Hermione thought it would be impossible for Lupin not to already know how she felt about him after the way she acted toward him, and became nervous at the thought of it.
Hermione may have sounded like a fool trying to talk to Lupin, but she liked him so much that she was persistent on talking to him. He wasn't like any other guy Hermione had ever liked. She had had a few crushes during Hogwarts, some boys in their year, and Ron of course, but none of them were like Lupin. Maybe that's why she was acting this way. She had never felt this nervous around any other guy. Her stomach didn't flutter, she cheeks didn't blush, her heart didn't race. But Lupin wasn't like all the other guys. Lupin was different. And Hermione wanted to tell him how she felt. She knew it was real, what she was feeling. She had never felt like this before. It scarred her and it made her happy at the same time. She liked the way she felt around Lupin and she desperately hoped that he felt the same way.
Hermione was so anxious to talk to Lupin but she still had some time before she was going to ask him. So, she tried to keep herself distracted.
Harry and Ron, meanwhile, had talked to Hermione about the extra work she had done over the summer, and wondered if she would help them with theirs.
"I'm not going to let you guys copy me!" Hermione said. Hiding her books and parchment with all her essays and answers in her trunk and shutting the lid. Ron and Harry watched it carefully and then looked back at Hermione.
"It's not copying!" Ron said as he frowned at the closed lid and then looked to Hermione with big, sad, puppy dog eyes. "It's just helping."
"Helping, to you, is copying!" Hermione explained, but she couldn't help but laugh at Ron, who was now curling his lip, mimicking someone about to cry.
"We won't copy yours Hermione, we just need your help" Harry explained, smiling at her and looking at her with eyes that Hermione couldn't refuse. Hermione sighed and gave in. She thought that it would at least take her mind off of talking to Lupin.
"Alright, but I'm not going to let you see my papers. I'll explain it to you." Hermione said, smiling at them, and with a bunch of 'thanks' and 'you're the best Hermiones'' she followed the boys upstairs into Harry and Ron's room and sat down on Harry's bed.
Sirius popped his head into Harry's room a few hours later and with a smile he approached them. "Hey, what are you guys up too?"
"Sirius, hi!" Harry said, smiling and eyes beaming up at Sirius. "We're just . . ." Harry gestured toward the bed spread with books and papers and quills, and toward a concentrated looking Hermione, who was still concentrating on the book she was reading.
Sirius shook his head and chuckled lightly. "Boy does this look familiar . . ." He smiled and sat down next to Ron on the bed, and laid down.
"What? Doing school work?" Ron asked as he looked from the parchment in his lap to Sirius and then back.
Sirius laughed and sat up straight. "The way you guys do it yea . . ." He shook his head and gestured toward Hermione with a jolt of his head. "Sitting in a group and having one person do the work." He smiled and laughed again. Sirius sighed.
Harry and Ron smiled and didn't dare refute him. They knew he was right, and they also knew he didn't really care. He had been exactly the same way as they were when he was younger.
Hermione looked up over the top of her book. "I think I am safe in assuming you were not the one doing all the work then Sirius." She smiled at him and shook her head before looking back at the book.
Sirius nodded. "Yes, Hermione. I think that's a safe accusation." Sirius nodded, smiled and chuckled. So did Harry and Ron.
Hermione flipped a page in the book and then felt it being tugged out of her hand. She looked up in confusion and surprise to see Sirius yanking it out of her hand.
"What are you doing?" Hermione asked as she reached for the book that he brought up higher so she couldn't reach. Hermione stood up to try to get the book back, but Sirius had the book out of Hermione's reach.
"Yea, what are you doing! She was almost done!" Ron said as he stood up as well.
"I'm sure Hermione is done, Ron." Sirius said, and with a somewhat serious look at Hermione, Hermione nodded at him kind of shyly.
"But she doesn't mind . . .she's almost done with ours too!" Harry and Ron said and Sirius turned on them.
"Then you shouldn't have a problem finishing." He smiled at them, but something in his tone said that he was serious. Harry and Ron looked at him as if they didn't know what was wrong with him.
"I really don't mind, Sirius." Hermione said, looking from the surprised Harry and Ron back toward Sirius.
"You will." Sirius said and then handed the book to Harry and Ron. Hermione didn't quite know what Sirius meant but she was somewhat relieved that he was making Harry and Ron do their own school work, even if she told him that she didn't mind.
"Are you serious?" Ron asked as he took the book from Sirius.
"Yes, that's my name. Always has been." Sirius chuckled. Harry and Ron didn't think it was so funny though. Hermione giggled and smiled.
"Come on, Hermione. We'll let them get to work." Sirius said and with a grin he left the room, Hermione following him.
Hermione shut the door and heard Harry and Ron groan. She smiled at Sirius. "What was that all about?"
Sirius shrugged as they walked down the stairs. "I owed it."
"Owed what?" Hermione laughed.
"I was always like Harry and Ron, Hermione." Sirius smiled. "I never really did my own work. Now, looking back, I kinda feel bad."
"But I don't mind, I really don't-" Hermione started but Sirius cut her off.
"You say that because you're too nice not to." Sirius said. "Remus was the same way."
Hermione felt her stomach do a weird sort of fluttering. "What- what do you mean?"
Sirius laughed. "Remus was always doing our school work for us, me and James. He'd finish his own early, and we'd beg him to do ours and he would. James and I would go out with girls and Remus would be stuck in the common room doing homework." Sirius sighed, apparently ashamed with himself. "We just never realized that maybe Remus would want to you know, go out with girls as well, and he always said he didn't mind, so we took him for his word."
Hermione sighed. "But sometimes I really don't mind."
Sirius stopped Hermione on the last step, turned her to look at him and placed his hands on both of her shoulders. "Hermione, don't let people run all over you. Don't let them take advantage of you. You're better than that, okay. You say your fine with it, and maybe sometimes you are, but then people will assume you'll let them get away with it again and again and again. Just, don't let them run all over you like that. Say no once in a while. It's alright." Sirius smiled.
Hermione looked to him in a way she had never seen before. Reckless, arrogant, risky, trouble-making Sirius was demonstrating the kind, charming, thoughtful side of himself that Lupin had swore was there for years.
Hermione smiled. "Thanks, Sirius." She thought of Lupin and how he'd let Sirius and James run all over him. "Did you ever apologize to Remus?"
Sirius nodded. "Yea . . .but he's still adamant that he didn't mind." Sirius shrugged and shook his head as if he were ashamed of himself again. "I know he did though, sometimes at least."
Hermione shrugged. "Then why didn't he tell you that?
Sirius smiled. "Because he knows that I'm sorry and he doesn't want to make me feel bad. He's a good friend Remus. Better than myself."
Hermione smiled. "I think you're both pretty good friends." She gave Sirius a hug. "Thanks, Sirius."
"No problem." Sirius said.
Hermione started to walk toward the living room and Sirius the kitchen, when Sirius turned around quickly. "Hermione." He said with a smile.
Hermione turned around and smiled at him. "Yea?"
"Good luck talking to Remus. You're perfect for each other. Just what he needs." Sirius nodded and smiled at Hermione's open mouth and surprised face.
Hermione's heart was beating faster. How did he know? Who else knew? She didn't know what to say. She continued to look at him uncertain of how he had know she had feelings for his friend. Did Ginny tell him something? No, Ginny wouldn't do that. Then how, did he know something that she didn't? Did Lupin tell him something?
"How…do…you…how…do…" Hermione tried to ask.
Sirius grinned. "He's one of my best friends Hermione. I can tell certain things. And I've seen the way you look at him. And the way he looks at you . . ." Sirius' eyes widened and he nodded.
Hermione's heart was beating a hundred times faster. Did Sirius just say what she thought he said. Lupin looked at her. And he noticed it. Maybe Lupin did like her after all. Maybe she wasn't as ridiculous as she thought. She smiled. "Really?"
Sirius smiled. "Yea, kid. Really. Good luck." He winked at her and continued walking toward the kitchen. Hermione made to follow him into the kitchen. She wanted to ask him about whether Lupin said anything to him or not, but she saw Mrs. Weasley and didn't want to say anything about her feelings for Lupin in front of her. She didn't think that Mrs. Weasley would approve of her dating a man more than double her age.
Catching eyes with Sirius, Hermione was about to mouth something when Mrs. Weasley turned toward her. "Do you need any help?" Hermione asked instead, and Sirius giggled. Mrs. Weasley was getting dinner ready, cutting up vegetables and stirring something in a pot.
"Oh that would be lovely dear." Mrs. Weasley said. "Why don't you help Ginny set the table?
Hermione nodded. "Sure" Hermione looked around the room quickly for Lupin and didn't see him. Curious. It had been a few hours since he had set out looking for a job. Maybe he found one. Hermione smiled at the thought. Hermione caught Ginny's eye and Ginny, knowing who she was looking for, shrugged.
Hermione walked over to the table where Ginny was starting to set the dishes and whispered so that Mrs. Weasley couldn't hear, "Where's Remus?"
"I don't know" Ginny said. "I think I heard Mom say something about him eating dinner at some work interview or something."
Hermione smiled. "Maybe he found a job!" Her stomach was all fluttery again. She really wanted Lupin to get a job. He was do down on himself, because nobody would hire him. He kept saying he was used to it, and to Hermione, that was just not fair.
"Maybe" Ginny said as they finished and sat down at the table. Harry and Ron came downstairs a few minutes later. Then the rest of the Weasley's. Using her wand Mrs. Weasley had all the food she had cooked on the table in a few seconds. Sometimes Hermione really loved magic.
Sirius sat down next to Harry, ruffled his hair, and looked around the table. "Remus still at the job thing?" He caught eyes with Hermione and Hermione, looked away quickly, blushing. She was still wondering what else Sirius knew about her liking Lupin, and Lupin's feelings toward her. She kept glancing at Sirius, trying to tell him so with her eyes, and after catching eyes with him, she was pretty sure he understood. "Later" Sirius mouthed to Hermione and she nodded, smiling.
Hermione continued to eat dinner, whenever someone started talking about Lupin she always shoved her mouth full of food and avoided eye contact for a little bit. She was afraid she would give something away if she dared to look at anyone.
Mr. Weasley nodded and gave Sirius a somewhat warning glance. Sirius nodded, understanding Mr. Weasley, but apparently nobody else understood what Mr. Weasley and Sirius did, and every one else looked to him in confusion.
"What job thing?" Ron asked as he stuffed his mouth full of potatoes. Apparently his recent dislike of Sirius had not extended to the curiosity of his question.
"Moony had a job offer!" Sirius said excitedly. He glanced toward Mr. Weasley and then put some food in his mouth, swallowing hard.
"That's great!" Harry said. Hermione smiled. A job offer? Where? When? That's great! I'll have to tell him so when he gets back.
"What job?" Ginny asked. Knowing that Hermione wasn't going to and knowing that Hermione desperately wanted to know. Hermione looked at her and smiled and so did Ginny.
"None of your business!" Mrs. Weasley said as she ate some food herself. "Remus can tell you when he gets back if he wants. But this is his news to share. Not ours" Mrs. Weasley said the last part while giving Sirius a sharp look. Sirius nodded and then as soon as Mrs. Weasley turned to eat some more food, Sirius shook his head and made a face. Hermione laughed.
But, after Mrs. Weasley said so, they all decided that that was that on that matter and to ask Lupin when he got back.
But after dinner Lupin still wasn't back. Hermione played a few games with Ginny, Harry and Ron, but it was almost time to go to bed, and still, Lupin wasn't back yet.
"I wonder what job interview he's at?" Ron asked as they all sat up in Harry and Ron's room.
"I don't know." Harry said, "but it doesn't really matter. I'm just glad he actually has an interview."
"Yea," Ginny said. "He deserves it."
Harry and Ron agreed and looked to Hermione who was being extremely quiet out of worry that she might let something slip if she was talking about Lupin.
"What's wrong with you?" Ron asked. "You've been kinda quiet"
Hermione looked to Ron and then to Harry and then shrugged. "Nothing" She smiled. "I'm just tired I guess." But Hermione was thinking about Lupin. And Ginny knew this.
Harry and Ron looked to each other as if they didn't really believe her. Hermione looked at Ginny and Ginny smiled.
A few minutes later Mrs. Weasley told them all to go to bed, so Hermione and Ginny left and went to their own bedroom.
After getting dressed Hermione lay down in her bed and Ginny laid in hers. Hermione was quiet for a few seconds before saying. "I hope he got the job."
Ginny smiled. "Yea, me too."
Hermione sighed. "I wonder what's taking so long though."
Ginny nodded. "Yea, I don't know. But maybe it just means that he's actually getting it. Maybe they're showing him how to do it and stuff."
"Yea, you're probably right." Hermione said. She thought about the plan she and Ginny had come up with, and apparently Ginny was thinking about it as well because she said,
"Alright, let's go over this plan one more time."
"Alright." Hermione said. Hermione was suddenly nervous.
"I'll make sure that everyone goes to bed and leaves you and Remus alone together, and I'll pretend that I have to ask him a question on something and tell him to wait in the living room while I go get my stuff." Ginny said.
"And then I'll say 'remember how we were talking about love and knowing when some people are supposed to be together? And how you asked if I had ever been in love and I said no?"
"Good." Ginny said. "And then,"
"And then," Hermione continued. "I'll say, 'well, I've been thinking about it and I don't know if what I said was right, because I've felt for a while now that maybe what I want from us is a little bit more than friendship."
"Good." Ginny said. "And then tell him all the reasons you think so."
Hermione sighed. "I don't know, what if he cuts me off, what if he objects?"
"He won't" Ginny said.
"But what if he does?" Hermione asked. Thinking about how Remus was going to immediately refute her. Hermione was kind of disappointed thinking about that.
"Well, then cut him off." Ginny said.
Hermione smiled. Hermione chuckled and then said. "Alright." This whole plan was crazy. It was so unlike her, and yet, she really wanted to do it. Hermione was so excited.
"Okay, so you'll tell him all the reasons and explain." Ginny said.
"Right. I'll say 'I know that you are nineteen years older than me, but it doesn't matter. And I know that you used to be my teacher, but I don't mind that either. You are a great guy, and I really want to try this."
Ginny sighed and smiled. "That's perfect, Hermione!"
Hermione shrugged. "I don't . . .it's just . . .right now it seems so easy, but when I'm going to tell him I know that I'm going to get all shy and blush and start stuttering."
"Well, just talk to him like you normally do." Ginny said. "You guys talk all the time and you never get nervous. Just talk to him like that. Talk to him as the friends that you are."
Hermione sighed. "But this time . . .I want a little something more."
Ginny smiled. "You'll be fine. Just tell him. Who cares if you blush? You will tell him, and then you'll know how he feels about you too. Which, I know, he feels the same way about you that you feel about him."
"Maybe." Hermione said. "I hope you are right Ginny, really." She thought about what Sirius had said earlier and what Ginny had said at breakfast and she felt better. Sirius. Hermione suddenly got excited. 'Later'. It was 'later' now. Maybe Sirius was willing to talk to her about Lupin? She glanced at the clock and realized it was pretty late. She sighed. Maybe tomorrow? But then she thought again. Sirius usually is one of the last people to go to bed. Maybe he's still downstairs?
Ginny turned off the lights with her wand. "Don't worry about it, Hermione. And you should get your sleep, you don't want to look tired tomorrow."
"Yea, your right." Hermione said. "Thanks, Ginny."
"No problem." Ginny said. "Just remember what we talked about, just tell him. You'll be fine."
Hermione smiled. "Good night."
Ginny said good night as well and then Hermione waited for her to fall asleep. She tried to fall asleep herself, but thinking about Lupin, and what Sirius had said, Hermione couldn't manage to do so. So, when she thought that Ginny was asleep, about half and hour after they turned the lights out, Hermione got out of bed quietly, opened the door, shut the door quietly, and then walked down stairs and down the hall to Sirius' room.
She knocked on the door, and didn't hear anything. She knocked again, and still didn't hear anything. She sighed. Maybe he was asleep? She turned to walk back upstairs, and caught view of someone sitting at the kitchen table. She smiled. Her heart was fluttering. She walked over to him quickly.
"Ahhh, Hermione" Sirius said, holding a firewhiskey in one hand, the other on the table. He gestured for Hermione to sit down. "I knew you'd be awake."
"Well, I, um, I, couldn't really, well, sleep." Hermione laughed. "Distracted I guess" She said when Sirius gave her a look.
Sirius smiled. "By our dear friend, Moony, I'm guessing?"
Hermione nodded. "Yea. I just, I don't know. I don't really know what to do. I mean, I like him. A lot. Like a lot, but I don't know how to do this. He's so different from anyone I've ever liked before."
"Moony's a pretty unique guy." Sirius said, taking a sip of his firewhiskey. "One of the best that I know, and that's the truth."
"I know" Hermione said.
"But, he is sometimes difficult to talk to. In matters such as these." Sirius said. "He likes to maintain the idea that he isn't good enough for whatever reason. He won't let you forget it. It's almost like he thinks his lycanthropy defines him. When that's not true at all."
"No, I know. He's a great guy." Hermione said smiling.
"Yea. And everyone can see it. Or well, most people. Those not caught up in the lycanthropy aspect of it. But those people are idiots anyways. The people that matter, they know. They know that he is a great guy, but Remus refuses to understand it." Sirius took another sip of his firewhiskey. He offered the mug to Hermione, but she shook her head and waved him off. Sirius nodded.
"Why not? Why can't he just accept that people like him?" Hermione asked.
Sirius almost laughed. He grinned wide and shook his head. "I've been trying to figure that out for years. I've known him twenty-six years, and he has always been this way. He wouldn't even open up to James and I at first."
Hermione thought about that. "What changed his mind? Why'd he finally open up?"
Sirius smiled. "Because he knew we were never going to leave him. We were there for him. We weren't going anywhere, despite what anyone said. Screw them. He understood that we didn't care. That we would be there, no matter what. That he was our friend, and that we were sticking by him. It took a little while, but then he understood."
"So, if I'm persistent, if he understands that I'm not going to walk away from this, that I care and that I really want to be together, then maybe he'll open up?" Hermione asked.
Sirius nodded. "Just stick with it. Even if it's hard at first. He'll doubt himself. He'll doubt that he deserves you. Even when you think you're past all of the doubting and the questioning, he'll still do it. It'll pop up. It's not his fault though. The guy's been disappointed so many times, let down."
"I know he has" Hermione said softly. "That's why I really want him to understand that I like him."
Sirius nodded. "He will, eventually." Hermione nodded and sat there for a few more seconds before saying anything. Sirius decided to talk about what he had started to tell her earlier.
"And, in my opinion, I think he likes you as well. Probably just feeling a bit uncomfortable about it. He barely lets himself get close to others, especially women. It's hard enough with a woman our own age. Never mind trying to let himself get close to a woman nineteen years younger than us, who we've seen grow up, and who was his student."
"Gee, thanks" Hermione said with a laugh, and Sirius shook his head.
"No, no, I didn't mean it in a bad way. I'm just saying, that to Remus, he doesn't think he deserves you, even if he likes you. To him, you deserve better, and he doesn't want to get in the way of that."
"But, he does deserve the people he likes. If I want to be with him, and he supposedly likes me as well, then why can't we just try it? Why does he think that it's not right or that it's not good enough for me? I like him, a lot."
"I know you do" Sirius smiled, "And it's not that it won't work out, it's just that he's going to be reluctant. But he'll come around. Once he realizes that you're not leaving. But you should tell him how you feel." Sirius said.
Hermione nodded. "Ginny and I made a plan. I'm going to talk to him tomorrow night after dinner."
Sirius nodded. "And what is this plan? Do you need any help?"
Hermione told Sirius about the plan to have everyone else go to bed, and have Ginny ask Lupin for help on some last minute homework question. Leaving Hermione and Lupin alone in the living room while Ginny supposedly went to go get her school stuff. Then Hermione would talk to him.
"Sounds like a pretty good plan to me" Sirius said. "Maybe I'll start talking to Remus right after dinner. Bring him into the living room, and wait for everyone else to go to bed. Then Ginny can ask him for help on a homework problem, and I'll sneak off as well."
Hermione smiled. "Really? You'll do that?"
Sirius grinned. "Of course. When two of my very good friends are involved, I'd do pretty much anything."
"I know you would" Hermione said and she gave Sirius a quick peck on the cheek before the two of them went off to bed. Hermione started to go toward the stairs, and Sirius his bedroom down the hall, when he called her name.
"Hermione?" Sirius asked quietly.
Hermione's hand was on the railing, her feet on the first few steps. She turned to face Sirius, "Yea"
Sirius had a serious look over his face and his tone matched. "Just, be careful with him, okay? Don't get too close if you're not planning on following through. He's had enough heart break and disappointment. He really doesn't need more. So, just, please be careful. He's strong, stronger than anyone I know, but there's some fragile thrown in there too."
Hermione starred back at Sirius, and wanted to give him a big hug. Run down the stairs and just hug him. Sirius was a better guy than people assumed him to be. He was really caring and thoughtful, and an extremely loyal friend. Hermione smiled.
"I never would. I don't want him to be hurt either" Hermione smiled. Sirius nodded.
"I know you wouldn't. Just doing my duties as a friend" Sirius said.
"You're a really great friend, Sirius." Hermione said softly.
"I try" Sirius said, and with a smile he walked off to bed, and Hermione did the same.
Hermione opened the door to her and Ginny's room quietly, shut it quietly behind her, walked over to the bed with a few glanced as Ginny to make sure she was still asleep, and got into bed. She felt somewhat relieved. Now that she had talked with Sirius, and found it much easier to go to sleep.
Hermione dreamed yet again of Lupin. They were standing in a bedroom together, what looked to be their, bedroom, and they were talking. Lupin was holding her close and they were pressing against one another. Lupin kissed her and she smiled.
"Same dream?" Ginny asked when Hermione woke up.
Hermione nodded. "Yea" She got up out of bed and started getting dressed.
"You must really like him" Ginny smiled as she finished getting dressed too.
Hermione nodded. She did. She thought she was in love with Lupin. She wanted to kiss him, hug him, touch him, make love with him . . . She stopped herself. Maybe that was a little far. Hermione smiled, however, and looked to Ginny. "I really like him."
The girls finished getting dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. All Hermione could think about was Lupin and how she wanted to tell him how much she liked him, and how she would actually have a chance to do so that night. She spotted him sitting at the table eating breakfast, and thought that it was going to be hard to wait to tell him until later that night. Her heart was already beating a hundred times faster, her stomach was all full of flutters, and she was sure that her face would have been a darker shade of red by the time she sat down at the table. But as she looked around the kitchen she saw Mrs. Weasley, Harry and Ron, and didn't really want to tell Lupin in front of all them.
"Good morning" Mrs. Weasley said as she handed Hermione and Ginny a plate.
"Good morning" Hermione said and she took the seat next to Lupin, almost tripping over it in her nervousness. Ginny smiled at her and sat down next to Harry.
"Good morning, Hermione" Lupin said smiling at her. Hermione, who had just picked up a glass of juice, dribbled some down her chin.
Attractive. She thought as she quickly wiped it away with a laugh. Lupin laughed too.
Hermione was embarrassed, her cheeks were turning red and she was blushing. "Good morning." She didn't know why she was so clumsy around him, but it wasn't helping her red cheeks at all.
Lupin cleaned up some of the spilled juice that was on the counter with his wand. "Not a morning person I guess." Lupin chucked and Hermione felt her heart beat a hundred times faster.
Hermione remembered that she had almost tripped down the stairs at breakfast the other day and smiled. She wondered if Lupin knew it had nothing to do with the morning, but rather with him. "Yea."
Lupin and Hermione continued to look at one another for a few seconds. Hermione watched as his muscles moved underneath his shirt as he shifted in his seat. Noticed his muscular and scarred arms and his ruffled, shaggy, messy, brown hair. Hermione looked at his lips and wanted to kiss them, and on his face there was a few days old stubble and Hermione wanted to run her hand over it. Hermione quickly looked away.
Lupin cleared his throat. "So, ugh . . . you all packed for school?"
Hermione wanted to blurt out how she liked him. Hermione was quiet for a few seconds, afraid that if she spoke quickly she would actually blurt it out. "Yea, just a few last minute things to pack." She took another sip of juice to hide her reddening cheeks and then put it down carefully.
Lupin nodded and took a sip of his tea. "I was always like you." Lupin said quietly.
Hermione smiled. "What?" Again her stomach felt like it was fluttering. For a second she wasn't sure what she had heard. Was it 'I was always like you?' or 'I've always liked you?' Hermione couldn't tell, but she assumed it was the first. He was comparing himself to her, and even if it was only a little thing, Hermione smiled and started to feel her cheeks blushing.
"I mean . . .I was always the first one packed. Always done with my summer homework. Always helping Sirius and James." Lupin smiled and so did Hermione.
"I kinda figured you did." Hermione said. Hermione thought about what Sirius told her about Lupin always doing Sirius' and James' work. "I guess we have that in common." Hermione ran her tongue over her lips and could feel herself getting fluttery in her stomach.
Lupin smiled. "I guess so." Hermione laughed. It was so easy to flirt with him. It had never been easy to flirt before but now, for some reason, it was. It came easy to her. But she didn't want to ruin the plan and blurt out her feelings for him now. Hermione wanted to stick to the plan. She was going to talk to Lupin alone, later that night. But for right now, she could still flirt.
"So," Hermione started, "how was your interview last night?"
Lupin looked a little surprised that she knew about it. "It was good, thanks. I got the job." He smiled at her.
"Congratulations!" Hermione was so happy for Lupin, she leaned over and gave him a hug. She pulled back shyly a few seconds later and quickly took a sip of her drink. Lupin looked like he had started to blush a little, but he took a sip of his tea as well.
"That's great" Hermione was about to ask what job, but Lupin, apparently knowing what she was about to ask said,
"Thank you. But, I'm under orders not to talk about it until at least later on tonight."
Hermione shrugged. "That's alright Pretty modest, yourself though. You found out you got the job, and didn't blurt it out right away?" She was thinking about what kind of jobit was and why he wasn't allowed to talk about it.
"Yea, well, there's more important things. It's not that big of a deal." Lupin said quietly.
"Not that big of a deal? Remus, it's a big deal! Congratulations!" Hermione said excitedly. She remembered what Sirius had talked to her about last night as she watched Lupin directing the attention away from himself, and how he was always thinking about others before himself.
Lupin grinned and laughed quietly, "Thanks, Hermione."
The two of them were quiet for a few minutes, eating breakfast. Hermione was trying to think of something else to say. She was interested in this job that he just got, but knew he wasn't allowed to talk about it.
"Sounds fun . . .exciting. Your job." Hermione said, leaning forward toward him. Without thinking she leaned forward in a manner so that some of her cleavage was showing. A few seconds later she realized what she was doing and pulled herself back up a little. Embarrassed at herself.
"Yea, it is." Lupin said as he took a sip of his tea, Hermione thought she saw his eyes dart toward her cleavage for a split second before she saw a little pink in his cheeks. But maybe she was just making it up. He kept looking at Hermione's face and Hermione was watching his eyes.
Hermione had to get up or she was going to tell Lupin about how she felt about him right there. "I've got to go finish packing." She said quickly.
Lupin nodded. "I'll see you later." He smiled at her. He cleared his throat.
"Okay, yea." Hermione said, and as she got up she placed a hand on Lupin's shoulder. Hermione loved the way his shoulder was so warm, his skin was so soft, she had felt some of his neck as she moved her hand. Her fingers were tingling. She quickly pulled it away. She couldn't help herself from touching him, but now she felt slightly embarrassed. It wasn't uncommon, she thought to herself. Before bed and when they saw each other they oftentimes hugged, even if it was just a tiny one. Sometimes he would place his hand on her arm, and sometimes she would place a hand on his shoulder. They were friends. So it wasn't weird. But now, for some reason, Hermione felt different.
Hermione went back up the stairs and thought about how she had just touched Lupin. How she wanted to touch him again. How she had just flirted with him. Did Lupin realize what she was doing? Was he interested or was he simply viewing it as another one of her crushes?
Hermione was walking around her room with her Hogwarts trunk, throwing last minute stuff in there. Hermione decided that she should actually finish packing seeing as how she just told Lupin that's what she was doing, but she couldn't think of anything else to pack.
Hermione had been trying to think of anything else to pack for a few minutes when Harry came into her room. She was scanning the room for any items she may need, but didn't see anything she hadn't already packed.
"Hey!" Hermione said. She was glad that someone was there to keep her mind off of talking to Lupin. Appreantly, finishing packing wasn't doing the job.
"Hi" Harry said as he sat down on Hermione's bed. "What are you doing?"
"Packing" Hermione said and she smiled at Harry, hoping that he wouldn't be able to tell that something was going on with her and that she was only packing as an excuse.
"Hermione, you finished packing a week ago." Harry smiled.
Hermione looked down to what she had just put in her trunk. A few more pairs of socks and another pen and some papers. Stuff that she already had.
Hermione smiled at Harry. "Yea, I know." She sat down on the bed next to him after Harry gestured for her to do so.
"So, are you going to tell me what you're really doing?" Harry asked.
Hermione knew Harry too well, and he knew her well too. They were best friends; she should have realized that he would be suspicious.
Hermione shrugged. "It's nothing." She didn't really feel like explaining to Harry how she was in love with Lupin and was planning on telling him later on. But apparently Hermione didn't have to explain anything because Harry said,
"I know it's about Remus."
Hermione looked to Harry in confusion. Did everyone know? Was it really that obvious? How was it that everyone seemed to know her feelings for Lupin? What did she look like in front of him? She sighed and then smiled. "How did you know?"
Harry smiled. "You're my best friend, Hermione."
Hermione nodded. "Fair."
Harry looked at her and placed a hand on her leg. "So what are you planning on doing?"
Hermione shrugged. She was about to tell Harry that she didn't know, but he looked at her with a sort of threatening look and she smiled.
"I'm going to tell him later this evening." Hermione said. She looked to how Harry was going to react to the idea that she was going to tell one of their former teachers that she loved him.
"Sounds like a good idea" Harry said.
Hermione looked to him with furrowed brows. "You're not . . .you don't . . .you're not mad? You don't think it's weird that I'm in love with one of our teachers?"
Harry put his hand on her leg again. "Do you love him?"
Hermione smiled. "Yea I think I do."
Harry smiled. "Then it doesn't matter." Harry shrugged while shaking his head.
Hermione was so happy that she could not stop herself from hugging Harry. Harry laughed, as he hugged her back. Hermione smiled.
"Thank you, Harry." Hermione said, kissing him on the cheek.
"No problem." Harry said. "I hope you guys find something great in each other. The both of you would be so good for each other."
"Thanks, Harry. Thanks." Hermione smiled and hugged him again. Maybe people wouldn't react as badly as she thought they would?
The rest of the day went by fast. Hermione helped Ginny with some of her last minute homework and she helped Harry and Ron finish packing. She had a conversation with Sirius about animagi, and was quite happy when Lupin joined them. Of course so did, Harry and Ron, so she couldn't really talk to him about her feelings then. But she was gald to spend some time with him anyway.
However, as Hermione set the table for dinner she started to feel nervous. She was going to talk to Remus about her feelings in only a little bit. Everyone sat down and started eating and Hermione kept darting her eyes toward Lupin and then to Ginny, then a few times to Harry. Every time she would look at Lupin she wouldsuddenly feel nervous. Hermione's stomach was fluttering and her cheeks were becoming red and blushing, and she looked to Ginny quickly who smiled at her and gave her a small laugh.
When dinner was over Hermione sat looking at Ginny as if expecting Ginny to tell her what to do. She was so nervous and seemed to have forgotten the entire plan, despite the fact that they had been over it many times. Ginny however, engaged everyone in a conversation about Hogwarts and how she was excited to be going back.
Mr. Weasley was talking to Sirius about his years at Hogwarts and Sirius recounted some the mischief he had gotten into.
Hermione kept looking to Lupin who seemed engaged in the conversation and happier than she had seen him in a while. She figured it was because of the job he had just gotten. A few minutes later Sirius got up from the table, taking his conversation with Lupin into the living room. He smiled at Hermione and have her a wink as he walked into the living room. Hermione was starting to get nervous. Everybody else stayed at the kitchen table talking, and Hermione was trying to participate in the conversation although she was distracted by her thoughts about Lupin and what she was planning on saying to him.
A few hours later Mrs. Weasley decided she was going to go to bed and Mr. Weasley followed her.
"Good night, everyone" Mrs. Weasley said and they all said good night back. George, Harry and Ron, got up and went to bed as well, saying how they wanted to go to bed early so they would be able to catch the train the next morning. Hermione became very nervous.
Ginny and Hermione went into the living room quickly. Ginny gave Hermione a comforting pat on the shoulder, and she sighed deeply. Hermione nodded and they continued to walk into the living room.
"Oh, Remus" Ginny said as they both walked into the living room and toward the couch. "I meant to ask you a question about some homework that I had to do. There was just one question that I couldn't figure out, do you mind?"
Lupin smiled at her. "Not at all."
"Great, I'll be right back with all my stuff." Ginny hurried up the stairs after giving Hermione an encouraging look and Lupin sat down on the couch where Hermione was sitting.
Sirius looked to Hermione quickly. "Well, school work isn't really my stuff" Sirius said with a smile. He got up off the couch and noticed Harry walking toward the stairs. "Harry I think we need to talk about this snogging thing." Sirius called from the living room as he walked toward the stairs and toward Harry Sirius laughed and Harry looked suddenly embarrassed. Sirius looked back toward Hermione and gave her an encouraging nod. Hermione smiled and nodded back.
Lupin laughed as well. And Hermione forced a laugh. But she was really nervous. She was alone in the room with Lupin.
Hermione was suddenly scared. I can't do this. She said to herself. All day long she was excited and anxious about talking to Lupin, and she really wanted to do it. Now she was scarred. And, now that Hermione was actually going to talk to him she felt as if she couldn't. She sighed deeply. Just say something. She said to herself.
"Ginny and her last minuteness." Hermione laughed and hoped it hid the nervousness in her voice.
"Ahh, I think you're the only student that doesn't procrastinate, Hermione." Lupin laughed and Hermione did as well.
"I bet you didn't" Hermione said quietly, brushing some hair out of her eyes and leaning closer to him.
Lupin shook his head. "No," He laughed. "I didn't. I spent most of my time doing work, like you."
Hermione's nervousness was pounding in her, but she was determined to do what she said she was going to do, what she wanted to do. She really liked Lupin and she wanted him to know. Hermione hoped that he felt the same way, and didn't bother refuting herself that he didn't because she was already having a difficult time trying to say how she felt about him.
"That's not such a bad thing." Hermione shrugged and Lupin laughed.
"No, it's not." Lupin smiled and Hermione felt herself brush his arm slightly with hers. Her fingers tingled against Lupin's warm muscular arms, and Hermione had to prevent herself from gasping.
Lupin turned to look at Hermione and at first she thought he was going to confront her about touching his arm. But there was something in his eyes, some softness that was always in his eyes a few years ago, but now was rare.
Lupin ran his hand over Hermione's which was still on his arm. Hermione's stomach was fluttering and her cheeks were blushing, she didn't know what to say, so she just nodded. I have to tell him now. She thought to herself.
"Remember the other day," Hermione said and took her hand off of Lupin's arm. "When we were talking about love and knowing when two people are meant to be together?" Her voice was quiet and she was stuttering.
Lupin nodded. "Yes"
"Well, remember, remember how you asked me if I had ever been, been in love and I said no?" Hermione looked at Lupin who nodded, and continued, "well, that might, might not have been right."
Lupin furrowed his brow. "Oh yea?" Lupin looked slightly nervous for a second, his cheeks turning a little pink, but he cleared his throat.
Hermione nodded. I can't do this. She said to herself. Hermione still had time to get out of it, she could just tell Lupin that she had a crush on some boy form school. But then she looked at Lupin's strong jaw, his scarred and beautiful face, his eyes that were looking at her in such concentration, and she realized that she wanted him to know. Hermione wanted him to feel the same way, and she wanted to know if he did or not.
"Well I've been thinking," Hermione sighed, "and I know . . .I know that . . .I . . ." She stuttered. She didn't want to use the word 'love' because she didn't want to scare him. "I really like you, Remus. Maybe I want a little something more than friendship."
Lupin's eyes widened. He opened his mouth to say something, but then apparently not able to think of something to tell Hermione, closed it again. Lupin shifted in his position on the couch and shook his head.
"Hermione-" Lupin started, but Hermione cut him off.
"I know that you are nineteen years older than me, but I don't mind!" Hermione said shifting to look at Lupin who was refusing to look at her. Her voice was almost desperate, pleading. The pink in his cheeks was turning red and he cleared his throat again.
"Hermione, I-" Lupin started again, but Hermione cut him off.
"I know that you used to teach me at Hogwarts but I don't mind that either!" Hermione said and she let a tear slip out of her eye as she saw Lupin shake his head at her. Hermione placed a hand on his arm, and he pulled it away, standing up and looking at her.
"I can't. I can't do . . .I . . . Hermione." Lupin said quietly. He ran his hands through his hair and gave Hermione an almost apologetic look. His eyes were sad and he sighed.
"I don't mind, Remus. I really really like you. I know I said it was just a crush, but I don't think it is. I started to have feelings for you a few years ago I think, and now I just . . .I don't know . . .but I have this feeling that you like me too. Whenever we're together the way you smile at me, the way we talk, the way we-" Hermione looked at Lupin who was shaking his head and she felt like she was about to cry. Lupin was rejecting her. He didn't feel the same way. A tear slid down Hermione's cheek and she sniffed.
"I'm a . . .well, you know what I am" Lupin said almost apologetically. "I can't. I'm too old for you, I'm dangerous, I don't have anything to give you, I'm poor" Lupin's voice was quiet. Lupin looked to Hermione who had started to cry a little bit, he looked to her with sad eyes and Hermione knew that he felt bad.
"I don't mind" Hermione said quietly, standing up next to Lupin. "I really like you."
"No you don't" Lupin shook his head. "I'm . . .just" Lupin ran his hands across his jaw and sighed again. But something in his eyes said that he was somewhat relived and maybe a little bit cheerful, but that he felt extremely guilty for that. Relived but guilty for being so, and somewhat what seemed to be melancholy.
Hermione saw this look in his eyes and knew that he had feelings for her too, but that he felt bad because he thought he didn't deserve her. Hermione didn't know what to say to make Lupin believe her. None of Hermione's explanations were working. Lupin kept going on and on about how he was not a good man for her to be in a relationship with. Hermione disagreed.
"Remus, listen to me" Hermione said sternly. She placed an arm on his shoulder and he flinched but did not pull away.
"No, Hermione, listen to me. I'm too old for you, I'm too dangerous, and I'm too" Lupin started but Hermione, before thinking, pressed her lips onto his quickly. She covered Lupin's lips with her own and started sucking on them, kissing him deeply, and shoving her tongue into his mouth. Hermione expected to be pushed backward by Lupin, but instead he was kissing her back. His tongue was deep in her mouth and he was holding her close to him, his hands on her back. Hermione loved the feeling. She loved Lupin. Hermione wanted to be closer to him, she let her tongue go further into his mouth and grabbed onto his back with her hands, pulling him closer to her. Hermione and Lupin were kissing, deeping the kiss for several minutes before Lupin finally broke away. The kiss had been one of the greatest feelings of Hermione's life.
Lupin raised his arms in surrender. "I can't, Hermione. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have . . .I . . .I'm sorry" The way his eyes looked at her she knew he really was sorry. But maybe not for the reason he was saying. He wasn't sorry because he didn't have the same feelings for her. He was sorry because he did.
"Remus" Hermione said quietly, ready to cry because Lupin seemed to be walking out of the room. "Remus. I know you feel the same way."
Lupin simply shook his head. For a second Hermione was scared of what he was going to say. Maybe Lupin didn't like her how she liked him. But why had he kissed her? Why had he looked at her like that? Talked with her like that?
"That doesn't matter" Lupin said quietly as he shook his head. Hermione's heart fluttered. So he did feel the same way. Hermione touched his arm with her hand and then with her other hand moved his face to look at her.
"That's all that matters." Hermione said and then she kissed him again. The kiss was gentle and then became deeper. Hermione closed the distance between herself and Lupin by pulling him toward her and holding his back so that he was tightly against her. Lupin was parting through Hermione's lips with his tongue, and Hermione liked it, letting him in. They kissed for a few more minutes, Lupin's hands on Hermione's back. Lupin finally broke away.
"I don't deserve you" Lupin started but Hermione pressed another kiss to his lips. When Lupin broke away again he said. "You don't have to do this. You could have any guy you want." Lupin leaned in and kissed Hermione somewhat shyly. Hermione giggled as she kissed him back.
"I want you Remus" Hermione said as she kissed him again. Hermione saw Lupin smile and then she felt his hands over her back. She was so happy, happy that she had told Lupin, and happy that he liked her too. When Hermione pulled back she saw that Lupin was still looking happily at her, and she realized that it was the happiest she had seen him in years, and thought that she probably looked the same as he did.
Please review! I changed a lot in this chapter. I added a lot more of Sirius, because I like Sirius a lot, and wanted more of him in this story. Let me know what you think about Sirius' talk with Hermione, and how Hermione let Lupin know her feelings for him. Did you like it? Please let me know! Thanks, and please continue reading!