Return of the Butterfly!
When the Doctor awoke the next morning, he had a terrible hangover. His head felt like it was going to explode. He couldn't remember much of yesterday which was good in a way. The only thing he could remember was Jack telling him to get his act together. He was right. Now he was sober the Doctor could see what he was doing to himself.
He walked into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He was a state, he looked tired and older. He didn't like the way he looked. Jack was right; he had to do something about this and now. He couldn't go on like this; Rose wouldn't want him to be like this. The thought of Rose made the Doctor's eyes sting. He missed her so much; he thought his hearts would literally break. He needed her, but this time she wasn't coming back to him. She was gone forever.
The Doctor washed his face and looked at himself one last time before making his way down to the kitchen to get something to clear his head from the alcohol. How could he have been so stupid?
When he walked into the kitchen, Jack, Martha and Donna were already in there eating their breakfasts. The Doctor didn't say anything to them, he didn't even smile, and he just walked up to the breakfast bar, grabbed a banana and boiled the kettle.
Donna looked at the Doctor; she could see the pain in his eyes. She got up and walked up to him, resting a hand on his shoulder.
"Are you all right?" Donna asked. The Doctor looked at her briefly before turning his head so he couldn't see her. Donna took his silence as a 'no'. "Doctor, if you need any help, we're here for you." Donna said. The Doctor turned to her.
"I don't need any help! I'm fine!" The Doctor snapped at her. He then stormed out of the kitchen, forgetting about his drink, and slamming the door behind him. Donna sighed and sat back down at the table. Jack put his hand over hers.
"He'll be all right; he's probably just annoyed that we took all the vodka away from him." Jack laughed, trying to lighten the mood, but it didn't help.
"I'm gonna go and have a shower." Donna said.
"Me too," Martha said. The two women got up and headed for their bathrooms. Jack sighed and followed them to his.
...
The Doctor stormed into his room and slammed the door shut, before going to his draw for the vodka he had hidden. He opened the draw only to close it again, because there was nothing in there. The Doctor growled angrily, and then began to look around the rest of his room, but he still couldn't see any of his hidden bottles.
By now, he was very angry. He sat on his bed and began to hit his wall until his hands bruised. He then lay down and cried...
...
Jack, Donna and Martha were once again in the library trying to figure out what they were going to do with the Doctor. They had to do something; they were all starting to think that he was worse without the alcohol.
...
The Doctor had finished crying his hearts out and knew what he had to do. He had to end his pain now. He couldn't take it any longer. He was numb, cold, empty all those things. His life was worthless now; he had nothing left to fight for. His planet and people were gone and now so was Rose; the woman he loved (loves) so much.
The Doctor stood up, grabbed his shoes and left his room. He didn't even bother trying to find the others; he just got out a piece of paper and wrote one word on it: Goodbye. Before putting it on the TARDIS console. He then grabbed his coat and left the TARDIS-one last time.
The Doctor walked out onto the streets of London. The Doctor didn't remember parking her hear so he guessed that the TARDIS had flown them hear during the night. The Doctor didn't care though; he just walked down the path towards the shop. He was going to buy a drink before he did anything else. It might make what he was planning to do that little bit easier, but then again, it might not.
He walked into the shop making sure he had enough money for one bottle of vodka. Thankfully he did. He walked up to the counter, not caring that there were other people in front of him telling him to bugger off to the back. Even the cashier told him to go to the back, but the Doctor just told them to give him a bottle of vodka. He then gave in the money and didn't want for the change before he walked back out the shop, ignoring everything he saw except the river.
The Doctor opened the bottle and took a long swig before he carried on his journey to the Thames. He didn't want to do what he was about to do, but it was the only way he could think of that would end his pain. He wanted to do it without any fuss or mess, just wanted to end this life.
The Doctor walked right up to the edge of the river where there weren't any people. The Doctor knew that there were going to be people watching him, but he didn't care; why would he? So there would be an investigation on why he did what he was about to do. So there would be a few friends of his upset about it, but at the moment the Doctor didn't care about anyone else. He didn't care that he was being selfish and he certainly didn't care about himself! He didn't care about anything anymore.
He took one last swig from his bottle and threw it into the Thames. The Doctor ignored the people shouting at him for doing it. It didn't matter, it wasn't like they could do anything to him, wasn't what he had been through punishment enough?
The Doctor then closed his eyes and took a step nearer to the edge, opened his eyes and prepared himself for the jump. He was about to jump when a small rose-red butterfly flew in front of him. The Doctor stopped what he was doing at looked at it. The way it was fluttering made the Doctor think that it was trying to stop him from killing himself. But why would a butterfly care?
The Doctor moved along a bit and the butterfly followed him. He moved back to where he was before and the butterfly followed him. This butterfly was definitely trying to stop him from jumping.
"Why are you trying to stop me? You're just a butterfly, a stupid red butterfly." The Doctor told it. "Let me pass, oh what the hell, I can get passed you." The Doctor made to jump but hit an invisible wall. The Doctor looked at the butterfly. "What? There's nothing there! It's in my imagination!" The Doctor said. The Butterfly continued to look at him. "You did that didn't you?" Unless the Doctor was going crazy, he swore he saw the butterfly nod. "Why?" The butterfly flew down to the ground and wrote a message in the dirt.
'Don't so this, Doctor. The universe needs you.'
The Doctor looked at the butterfly. "How did you do that? Who are you?" The Doctor asked. The butterfly wrote something else in the dirt.
'I'm not a normal butterfly, but I'm not an alien. Now please, Doctor, go home. You don't have to do this, Rose wouldn't want you to.'
At the sight of Rose's name, the Doctor began to tear up. But whatever this butterfly was, it was right, Rose wouldn't want him to do this to himself. The Doctor sighed and turned around, and began walking away, not catching the butterfly's last message.
'Thank you...
I love you.'
OK, so I've given the Doctor depression...and this butterfly loves the Doctor, I'll give you three guesses to who the butterfly is. Though it's pretty obvious...
Anyway, how long will it be until the Doctor realises who this butterfly is. Once he clears his head and is thinking straight again, he might be able to guess...
Don't worry, it's not the last we've seen of the butterfly though, it will be making appearances possibly every chapter now! XD
OAO