I rewrote some major things from this chapter. I added some things and took some out to make it flow better later in the story. Please read and let met know what you think! Thanks for all the reviews! Please continue to read and review!
The next few weeks after the dance passed by relatively quickly. Hermione had tried to talk to Lupin one on one about their dance and what they had said to each other via lyrics, but Lupin was still avoiding her after class, and they hadn't spoken, besides a few 'good mornings' or 'good nights' or questions during class, since. Hermione, somewhat frustrated, however was looking forward to the school break when she, Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Lupin would be going to Grimmauld Place together.
Hermione wondered if Lupin would even talk to her at Grimmauld Place and the thought made her slightly angry. She hoped that Lupin was only refusing to talk and or see her because they were at school, and that once they were in a more comfortable, private, atmosphere Lupin would be calm around her again. She was pretty sure he was only avoiding her out of fear of getting caught, but a certain anxious feeling in her stomach had her worried nonetheless.
Zoey, Ron's date to the dance, and the girl who had been pestering Hermione about where her boy friend Owen was, was currently asking Hermione again why Owen couldn't go to the dance.
Hermione took a deep breath to prevent herself from answering in a irritated tone." It was a few weeks ago, Zoey" Hermione chuckled. "Why are you still talking about Owen?"
Zoey shrugged. "I don't know. I just find it weird that you were talking about him and then he wasn't at the dance with you. You didn't even have a date."
"Gee thanks for reminding me" Hermione mumbled.
"No, no, I didn't mean it like that!" Zoey said quickly. "I just mean, well, the only guy you danced with all night was Professor Lupin-"
Hermione could feel her face getting red, and the anxious feeling in her stomach was getting more and more noticeable. Hermione eyed Zoey carefully, hoping that she didn't have any suspicions about them, but Zoey continued talking anyway, and Hermione felt relieved.
"I just thought it was weird." Zoey said.
"Owen was busy." Hermione shrugged and said quickly as she took a sip of juice. She watched as Lupin walked by their breakfast table, smiling at Hermione and then to Hermione's surprise, as could be seen by the way she almost spit her juice out, he sat down next to her.
Zoey seemed embarrassed and her face turned slightly red.
"Hello Zoey" Lupin said with a smile.
"Hi" Zoey said quickly.
Lupin looked at Hermione. "You haven't seen Harry have you?"
Hermione was distracted and happy that Lupin was simply sitting next to her that she forgot to pay attention to what he was saying. When Lupin smiled at her, apparently figuring this out as well, Hermione smiled back.
"Sorry, what?" Hermione asked with a chuckle.
"Harry. Have you seen Harry?" Lupin asked again. He chuckled too and Hermione wanted to lean forward and kiss him. His beautiful smile. His soft laughing. His wonderful eyes.
"Ughh no." Hermione said not bothering to take her eyes off Lupin's to look around the room."I haven't seen him, Remus"
"Okay, well it was worth a try." Lupin said as he started to get up. "Thanks anyway, enjoy your day Hermione" Lupin smirked at Hermione and she couldn't help but stare at him.
Hermione was about to tell him the same thing but she was having difficulty trying to resist the urge to grab him and pull him back next to her, and apparently that took up too much energy to be able to say anything to him.
So, after a nod to Hermione who nodded back with a chuckle, Lupin made his way out of the Great Hall.
Hermione was still thinking about how she wanted to have leaned forward and kissed Lupin and so she didn't really hear Zoey when she gasped.
"That's so cool" Zoey said with a smile.
"What?" Hermione asked quickly, looking around the room.
"You talking to Lupin like that. It's like your friends. You called him Remus!" Zoey said excitedly. Hermione gulped. Had she? Well, nothing wrong in telling her that they were friends.
"We are" Hermione said with a shrug. They were more than friends actually. But it was true that they had a deep friendship. Hermione grinned. "Lupin's a really good friend."
"Woooahh" Zoey said dreamily leaning her head on her palm, her elbow almost in her breakfast dishes.
"What?" Hermione asked somewhat annoyed. Hermione didn't like Zoey acting like this about Lupin. It was okay for her to act this way, but not Zoey. Not any other girl.
"Lupin's sooo cute!" Zoey shrieked. "Do you think?"
"Zoey!" Hermione said. "Lupin is a professor" Hermione could feel a weird feeling like anger and butterflies and confusion all together. She realized that she was jealous and it kind of scared her. Hermione and Lupin weren't even dating until June, and she was jealous about some school girl that had a crush on him. Just some school girl. But wasn't that what she was?
Hermione swallowed hard. "Lupin has a girlfriend anyway" Hermione said quickly. "He loves her so much and they've been together for a really long time. I think they are going to get married. And I know that he and she both want a few kids." Hermione didn't know why she was saying it but she felt as if she had to force Zoey away from Lupin.
"Oh" Zoey said a bit deflated. "Lupin has a girlfriend?"
"Yes" Hermione said quickly. "They've been dating for like five years" She didn't know why she was lying like this. Or why she felt so insanely jealous. Lupin wasn't even her boyfriend yet. But she couldn't help herself from getting angry at any potential threats to their relationship.
"Okay" Zoey said. "It's not like I was actually going to try to date him." Zoey laughed and took a bite of her breakfast. "I mean he is thirty something and my teacher. Weird."
"Yea, I guess" Hermione said. Hermione tried to hide her red cheeks by taking a sip of her juice. Relieved that Zoey wasn't interested in Lupin, Hermione was glad, but she was also reminded of how others would perceive their relationship. And even though she had said she didn't care, it still was weird to have people criticize them. A few minutes later Harry sat down next to her.
"Good morning" Harry said as he started eating. Hermione smiled. "Good morning" She was glad that someone else had sat down at the table and that she could talk to.
"What's up?" Ron asked as he sat down as well and he took a sip of his juice. Hermione shrugged and then remembered that Lupin was looking for Harry.
"Harry Lupin's looking for you" Hermione said quickly and Harry looked at her confused.
"Remus?" Harry asked. Zoey looked at him weirdly too, and Hermione rolled her eyes. This girl was starting to make her very irritated. She shot a glance at Ron as if to say 'How could you take her to the dance?', but Ron was occupied shoving food into his mouth.
"Yea" Hermione said, looking at Harry.
"You call him Remus too!" Zoey asked looking confused. Harry rolled his eyes before looking at Hermione. She could tell that the girl was starting to bother him too.
"Yea" Harry said confused and Hermione shrugged.
"That's so cool!" Zoey said and Harry looked at Hermione as if expecting her to explain Zoey's infatuation with Lupin.
Hermione however said, "Lupin's looking for you. He just asked me if I kn-"
"I just saw Remus in the hallway" Harry said. "He just said good morning. Nothing about having to talk to me."
Hermione looked at Harry. "Are you sure?" Remus had clearly asked her if she knew where Harry was.
Harry shrugged. "Yea, he didn't talk to me about anything"
"Hmmm" Hermione said. "That's weird." She was confused. Why had he been supposedly looking for Harry?
Harry shrugged. "You sure Lupin was looking for me?" Sipping his juice, Harry looked at Hermione and smirked.
"Yea" Hermione said. "Zoey, you heard him too didn't you? Harry he was looking for yo-" Hermione looked to Harry, suddenly realizing why Harry had smirked. You sure Lupin was looking for me? Hermione smiled at Harry, as if asking him if what he was trying to say was that Lupin had been actually looking forher. Harry nodded with a smirk.
Zoey nodded. "Yea Lupin asked if Hermione knew where you were Harry"
Harry shrugged and looked toward Hermione. "Maybe he got confused" Harry smiled and Hermione smirked.
The three ate breakfast and then went to all their classes. They didn't have that much homework to do but they still had to finish packing because they would be going to Grimmauld Place in two days.
Hermione went through the day thinking about how Lupin had made an excuse to talk to her. The anxious feeling in her stomach about whether or not Lupin was serious about her had diminished greatly. She was packing for Grimmauld Place that night when Ginny picked up on how distracted she looked.
"Are you alright?" Ginny asked as she packed some books and clothes and other things.
"What?" Hermione asked, looking at Ginny and realizing that she had been thinking about Lupin. "What? Oh I'm fine"
"Owen?" Ginny asked and Hermione smiled.
"Owen" Hermione said nodding.
"I thought so" Ginny said. "What about him?"
Hermione shrugged. "I don't know." Hermione looked at Ginny. "It's just Owen talked to me today because he made an excuse to talk to me. He really cares about me. He wants to talk to me. You know how I was nervous? Not anymore."
"That's great, Hermione." Ginny smiled and shook her head.
"What?" Hermione asked apparently still distracted. Ginny just smirked. "Grimmauld Place should be interesting."
Zoey walked in the room before Hermione had time to answer her and sat down on the bed. "I was just outside walking around with some of my friends and we saw the moon. Its' so pretty!"
Hermione and Ginny looked at each other quickly. Hermione felt nervous and could feel her anxious feeling come back. "Is it a full moon?" She asked quickly.
"No, tomorrow" Zoey said and she lay back on her bed. "You guys should go look!"
Hermione forgot. She forgot that Lupin turned into a werewolf at the full moon. She forgot that the full moon was the next night. She forgot about all the things he would have to go through. She had been so interested in thinking about their relationship that she forgot. She felt bad. Hermione wanted Lupin to know that she cared but she didn't see how she could talk to him without getting in trouble for wandering around the corridors. Hermione had an idea.
"I'll be right back" Hermione said quickly to Ginny and Zoey as she started toward the common room.
"Are you going to go look?" Zoey asked excitedly.
"Not exactly" Hermione said and she went down to the common room.
Seeing Harry and Ron sitting on the couch Hermione walked over to them quickly.
"We're gunna pack in a few minutes Hermione, calm down!" Ron said quickly.
Hermione shrugged. "I'm not going to yell at you to pack" Hermione said quickly.
"Oh" Ron said confused. "What's up then?"
"Harry can I talk to you for a second?" Hermione asked. Harry looked confused and Ron did as well.
"Why can't I know?" Ron asked quickly and Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Harry?" Hermione asked and Harry nodded confused and looked at Ron. Harry got off the couch and followed Hermione to a few chairs.
"Thanks!" Ron said angrily.
"What is it?" Harry asked, Hermione could see the concern in his face and felt bad for worrying him. "It's nothing bad" Hermione said quickly and Harry looked relieved.
She looked over at Ron and when she was sure Ron wasn't listening, Hermione said "I need to borrow your invisibility cloak."
"What? Why?" Harry asked quickly.
Hermione shrugged. Harry already knew that she liked Lupin so she didn't feel like she had to hide what she was doing. "Lupin"
Harry nodded slowly. "Of course" Harry went to his dormitory and Ron looked at him quickly. Harry handed it to Hermione. "Thanks, Harry." Hermione smiled. Harry smiled back.
Hermione went to Lupin's room and knocked on the door. "Come in" Lupin said and Hermione walked in. Lupin smiled at her and then looked slightly concerned.
Hermione had seen Lupin before a transformation before but now he looked very pale and more shabby than usual. Hermione must have shown her concern on her face because Lupin said, "I'll be alright."
"You look-"
"I'm fine, Hermione." Lupin said. "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see if you were okay. I'm sorry. I forgot about the full moon. I feel so bad. Why didn't you remind me? " Hermione said.
"It's not your thing to worry about, Hermione. I appreciate the concern, but, I can handle it. You have enough on your plate." Remus smiled.
"Remus, you're more important than them all. You don't think I care more about you than I do my charms homework or potions essay?" Hermione said.
Remus sighed. "No, Hermione. I know that you care. I just don't want you to get hurt. You're too youn-"
"Remus, don't say that I'm too young!" Hermione yelled. She looked at Remus who was looking at her in confusion, and she guessed she had sounded a little more angry than she had meant to.
"I'm sorry." Hermione said quickly. "I just don't like when you bring up our age difference. I thought we were over that. I don't care." Hermione smiled at him. "Why do you care so much about it"
"I don't know" Remus shook his head back and forth. "I guess, I just want to assure that I'm not taking advantage of you. I don't want to be irresponsible. I care too much about you to lead you into something you might regret. Sure, the age difference is fine now. Your 18 and I'm 37. But what about when we're older? I'm nineteen years older than you. It's going to catch up to us."
"Only if you think that it eventually will. Just don't think that way." Hermione said. "If it doesn't matter now, if we truly care about each other, then nineteen years in age difference isn't going to change that." Hermione smiled and took a step closer to Remus. "Why would you think that I would all of a sudden care?"
"Because I'm a werewolf, Hermione." Lupin said slowly and deep. He wasn't looking at her.
"I understand that. Why are you reminding me of that. If I remember correctly, I was the one to figure it out when I was thirteen." Hermione smiled.
Lupin gave a short laugh before continuing, he looked at her. "I'm not going to change. I can't change. And as much as I would like to, for you, and for me, I can't."
"Why would you think I'd want you to change?" Hermione asked. "I like you the way you are, Remus.
Hermione took a step closer to Lupin, and at first Hermione thought he was going to back away, but he didn't. Hermione reached up and placed her hand on his cheek. She outlined the scars on his cheeks and looked at Lupin in the eyes. "I like you just the way you are."
Hermione could see the smile in Lupin's eyes. After a few seconds Lupin said, "I could have sworn that you were going to-" and before he finished saying, she leaned in and kissed him, not giving him time to say anything.
Hermione shrugged. "Kiss you?"
"Yea, maybe. Something like that." Lupin kissed her back and Hermione could feel a groan come out of his mouth. He was kissing her passionately and Hermione didn't mind at all that Lupin kept shoving his tongue forcefully into her mouth. Lupin was sucking on her lips, tugging and pulling, and Hermione groaned, Lupin pulled away and stuck his hands up in a 'surrender'.
"Can't do this" Lupin said quickly as if just realizing what he had done. "I'm sorry Hermione, I shouldn't have."
"I liked it" Hermione said. "I like when you kiss me." Lupin shook his head.
"I like kissing you too. I love it. But I'm too aggressive right now. I could . . . hurt you. I don't want to do anything to hurt you" Lupin said softly. "But we can't kiss."
"What? What?" Hermione asked.
"The night before the full moon I get" Lupin said softly before Hermione saw him sigh and look away quickly. "Aggressive. Violent. Sometimes scary."
"Aggressive? Violent? Scary? Remus, no."" Hermione said softly. She shook her head to refute him.
"Yea" Lupin said quickly, looking at her. "I do. I'm not always in the best control of my feelings or urges. I don't want to do anything that could hurt you. Physically or emotionally. I've been known to say some mean things to people around the full moon. I don't want to do that to you."
Hermione felt somewhat flattered. But she wanted to see him and talk to him despite his desire for them to not see each other before the full moon. Pressing against Lupin and talking a step forward, Hermione said "What if I-" , and Lupin tried to pull away
"No, Hermione." Lupin said quickly taking a step back. Hermione shrugged. "What if I don't mind?"
"I mind" Lupin said quickly. Hermione shrugged. "Why?"
"I could hurt you" Lupin said quickly again. "I don't want to hurt you." Hermione could see that he was nervous. "You don't understand, you've never seen me right before a full moon-" Remus paused and thought back to Hermione's third year when she, Harry, and Ron had all seen him transform. From the look in Hermione's face, he knew she was thinking about it too. "Besides that one time."
"I just- I don't really understand. Do you even really want to be in a relationship with me?" Hermione asked sadly. She wasn't sure anymore of whether or not Lupin was saying this because he felt it, or because it was a convenient excuse out of a relationship with her. But she thought back to what Sirius had told her about how Lupin always put others before himself, and how he would try to protect her, doiung things that hurt him and what he actually wanted just to prevent harm to others. She smiled.
"I'll tell you this. Today when I asked if you knew where Harry was? I didn't have anything to talk to Harry about." Lupin said.
Reminded of Lupin's efforts to make an excuse to talk to her earlier, Hermione wanted to lean in and kiss him. "I know"
She looked into his eyes and he smiled. Hermione leaned forward and so did Lupin and the two embraced in a kiss. Hermione pressed her lips tightly against his and could feel his tongue inside her mouth. Hermione placed her arms behind Lupin's head, running her hand through his hair. Remus placed his arms on Hermione's back and they push closer together in the kiss.
They kissed for a few more seconds before Lupin sighed and took a step backward from Hermione, his hands on her shoulders. "Hermione, we can't. Not right now."
Hermione looked at Lupin. "Look into my face and tell me that."
Lupin smiled as he looked at Hermione. They leaned forward and kissed again. They broke apart and Hermione smiled. "So much for that"
"So much for what?" Lupin asked.
"Waiting until June" Hermione chuckled. "So much for that" Lupin said.
Hermione leaned in and kissed Lupin. They were kissing more and more passionately, pressing against each other hard. Remus' hands were moving up and down Hermione's back, and her hands were running through his hair. Hermione felt Lupin attempt to kiss her deeper with his tongue and she opened her mouth wider, kissing him deeper as well with her tongue now in his mouth. Lupin's desk was conveniently next to them, and before they knew it or even planned it, Remus and Hermione were slowly lying back together on his desk, not breaking their kiss. Remus's back lying on papers he had yet to grade, Hermione on top of him, their kiss deepened. Hermione was just about to have Remus take his shirt off, or at least place her hands underneath so she could rub them over his chest and stomach, and that's when the door to the Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom opened.
Breaking apart quickly and turning quickly Hermione saw Ron standing there with a disgusted look on his face. Harry came in a few minutes later out of breath. Hermione's heart leapt and she saw Harry mouth a quick 'I'm sorry' before Ron came running at her.
"You!" Ron shouted as he ran toward Lupin. Harry ran after Ron, but before he could grab him Ron punched Lupin in the face. "Get off of her!"
"Ron!" Hermione yelled as Lupin turned toward Ron. Harry grabbed Ron but Ron yelled. "Is he hurting you? Is he taking advantage of you?" Hermione and Lupin were now sliding off the desk, standing upright.
Hermione looked disgusted. "Lupin's not hurting me! I like him, Ron, and Lupin likes me! We like each other! We're trying to have a relationship!"
Harry grabbed Ron and then looked to Hermione. "I tried to stop him" Harry said apologetically and Hermione shook her head as if to tell him it was okay.
Ron looked confused. Ron looked from Hermione to Remus "Oh." Ron said to Hermione. "Why didn't you just tell me that?" Ron said angrily. "I thought we were best friends!"
"We are, Ron!" Hermione said quickly. "I just, I didn't really want anyone to know!"
"You told Harry!" Ron said angrily. "Who else knows? Everyone but me? I wouldn't doubt it." Ron snapped at her.
Remus took a step forward with a hand held out to Ron in a 'stop' gesture. "Ron, Hermione just-"
"And you!" Ron turned to look at Lupin. "You're a teacher! You're her friend! You're our friend! What are you doing? You're disgusting." Ron said loudly and shoved Lupin on the arm.
Remus was quiet for a second, he looked down at the ground, and then back up to Ron. Maybe he was right.
Hermione however stepped closer to Ron. "Remus is not disgusting, Ron. We really care about each other. We are two adults-"
"Barely!" Ron shouted.
"Let me finish Ron!" Hermione said quickly. "We are two adults, trying to have a relationship. We don't need your approval. We can make our own decisions. Remus and I are friends, and we like each other. And I'm eighteen, its legal. So if you don't like it, then I'm sorry but you don't have to talk to us. Or deal with us. But I think that's immature, Ron. I thought you could actually be happy for me. For us."
Ron grinned sarcastically. "Happy for you? Hermione, I'm trying to look out for you. And nothing against you, Remus" Ron said as he looked to Remus, "but you are so far apart in age. It's just, it's not right."
"Well, it's right to us." Hermione said as she took a step closer to Lupin.
"Fine. Whatever. I guess you don't need me then. Just immature Ron giving stupid advice right?" Ron turned quickly and looked to Harry.
"And you knew?" Ron's face was getting more and more red.
Harry nodded. "Yea"
"And you didn't do anything? She's our friend, Harry! This is wrong! I'm sorry, but I don't understand why you all think this okay! How old are you Remus? 36?"
"37" Remus said quickly.
"37! That's great." Ron nodded and smiled sarcastically. "Hermione, you're 18!"
"I am aware of how old I am, Ron. Thanks!" Hermione said quickly. "And if you have such a problem with it, maybe you should just leave!"
"Maybe I will!" Ron said quickly and he turned around quickly. Ron started walking toward the door.
"Ron" Harry grabbed Ron's arm, but Ron pulled it away.
"You knew, Harry. And you didn't tell me? Thanks" Ron said and he walked out of the room quickly.
Hermione watched as Ron left and then felt Remus's hand on her shoulder.
"It's okay" Remus said quickly.
Hermione sighed. "Sometimes Ron is such a, a git!"
Harry nodded. "He just cares about you, Hermione. He'll be fine in a few days."
Hermione nodded. "But you care about me too, you're fine."
Harry nodded. "Sometimes Ron doesn't know how to handle things. But you know that he cares, right?"
Hermione nodded quickly. "Yes, I know."
"Good." Harry nodded. Harry looked at Remus. "So you guys are really in a relationship?"
Hermione looked to Lupin expecting him to say that they were not going to actually be a couple until June but Lupin smiled at Hermione and said. "Yea, we are."
Please review! I changed a lot to make it flow better later in the story! But it will be good! Thanks for reading!