Rude Awakening

I stirred from my sleep and felt someone grasp my hand very firmly. I opened my eyes to see I am in my own apartment lying on my couch. How did I get in my apartment? All I remembered was waiting for the bus and then rain. I touched my forehead and felt an ice pack that was not cold anymore. I removed the ice pack and was about to sit up when I saw him, sleeping right beside me sitting on the floor. How did he get here? How did he know where I lived? And why is he grasping unto my hand? Wait, since when I was I in my pajamas? I am so confused right now, I pulled his hand away from mine and he suddenly woke up.

"Are you alright?" he suddenly asked.

"I'm fine" I said pushing him away while trying to massage my head "How did you get in here?"

"Ah well, I was taking you home and then you were sleeping and that's when I realized you had a high fever so I asked Serina the landlady, who is a bit weird but scary to help me with you but then she was like asking me to stri- I mean take care of you so she, um…left for something and ordered me to take care of you and I sort of fell asleep and uh…yeah that's what happened" I looked at him in confusion, he was talking really fast and I had no idea what he was trying to say. His face was very red, maybe from talking too fast.

"Um just so you know Serina was the one who changed your clothes" he said emphasizing it.

"Why are you still here? Don't you have a fiancé to go home to?" I said just staring at him expecting him to leave.

"Ahaha, I don't think she would mind. I live alone, I told you she's only a marriage through convenience" he answered, just hearing him saying he's only marrying her for business irritates me so. I pity the girl about to be tied down to this jerk.

"Convenience or not she is still your fiancé so get out of here before misunderstandings emerge" I said sharply hoping he would leave, he still didn't budge from that spot making me wish daggers would really come out of my eyes.

"You want something to drink? I could make a snack you know" he said going into my kitchen, who does he think he is? Did he not hear me? This guy is just totally deaf to orders.

"I said get out!" I practically yelled pointing at the door; he just kept on grinning stupidly and started making who knows what. I can't read this guy, he's a walking complication. I just went to the couch Indian sitting and crossing my arms sulking. Why did this have to happen now? This whole thing is making me pissed yet kind of sad, I blame him. After a few moments of waiting he came out holding a bowl of noodles. I didn't even know I had noodles in my kitchen, where did he find that? I usually just eat in a friend's place or outside so I don't really cook at home.

"Where did you find that?" I asked.

"In the cabinet, very way back, I'm surprised you barely have any food in your kitchen at all. Do you even eat? This keeps up you might become anorexic" he sounds like a nagging mother.

"I usually eat outside so I have no time to cook" I reasoned, he started to get closer with the bowl of noodles.

"That's no good, you should eat homemade food some time" he said in a husky voice, I felt my cheeks go warm and grabbed the noodles from him instantly slurping them. He backed off and gave a loud sigh. I just quietly ate while he was cleaning up in the kitchen. I finished eating and decided to bring the bowl to the kitchen. I was about to enter when Natsume was also about to go out resulting to us colliding into each other. The unwashed bowl flew to the other side and I slipped down and he was on top of me. To describe my feelings I was totally shocked. My eyes were very wide and for some reason my mouth was shut tight. I just stared at him and he was staring back, I could feel his breath and his face was coming closer. He was gradually closing his eyes and I needed to stop this. I needed to say something. As he was about to touch my face I flinched and faced the other way. My eyes were really closed shut and I felt him move away from me. I heard the bowl being picked up and I sat up seeing him clean the mess. I stood up and stared at his back facing me, for some reason I felt like crying.

"N-Na…" was the only syllable I was able to utter, he turned around with the unwashed bowl with those eyes and I instantly looked down clutching unto my pajamas.

"Um, I'll clean up" was his simple answer. I went towards the couch again and propped up my feet grabbing a nearby red pillow and started hugging it playing with the tips. I decided to turn on the TV with a talk show on. I just blankly stared at the TV not paying attention to it, just having my mind on standby. After a few minutes I entered into a commercial and he suddenly emerged from the kitchen. He was scratching his head like he was about to say something. I looked at him and he turned his eyes away. He grabbed his coat and headed for the door.

"Um, I guess I have to get going now. Um you need anything? You know I could get you some food" Annoying jerk, just leave already. Why are you still here? Leave before I become very selfish and take you away from another person, I don't want my selfishness to surface showing my ugly side I wouldn't stand for someone to see me like this.

"No I'm fine" I answered, he didn't really seem convinced.

"What if you get hungry?"

"I said I'm fine" he stopped and started putting on his coat. He approached the door and faced me while smiling, I happened to look up.

"Okay, bye then" after those three words he went out the door and by some compelling force I leaped out of the couch and wanted to catch him, I was almost able to grab a hold of his coat when it just slipped right out of my reach. The cotton passing through my fingers as I saw him about to disappear, I just watched as he went inside the elevator not even turning around to notice me. The elevator closed before he turned around and I felt so irritated. I slammed the door behind me and hastily went into my bedroom. I forcefully pushed away the stuff that on my bedroom making the papers fly around me like feathers. I dived into my bed and buried myself in the pillows with the papers slowly landing around me. Stupid me, what was I hoping for? What exactly did I want? This feeling I hate it! The feeling of being shot by fifty bullets in my chest, damn it! I felt tears squeeze out of my eyes and my left hand was clutching the bed sheets. I felt so mad that I already started pounding my right fist on my bed which fortunately was very soft.

After all these years never have I felt like I wanted to disappear. This agitation that slowly turned into depression, I felt like I just lost something important. I don't feel like doing anything, nothing at all. I think I'll just stay cooped up inside here forever until I die.

All this time I thought it would be better if you were gone but now that you really are gone it just gets worse and worse.

Beep.

"Hello, Mikan? It's me Misaki, listen about tomorrow I have something very important to discuss with you. It would be better if you reported to work tomorrow. Don't forget to bring the disc; I'm counting on you as the new editor in the German branch. Talk to you later"

Beep.

Mikan was already asleep with her face red from crying and Natsume was all alone in his apartment drinking some wine while looking out the window.

Will they be together? Or they will be separated forever regretting?