This chapter is cause I felt Edward gave up to soon on chapter 1, Edward is stubborn and I feel this refelects him better!

ALL CHARACTERS OWNED BY SM!

Chapter 3

Selfish

Edwards pov:

I'm an immortal monster who has all of forever to be who I want and can do what I want, the humans around me who would cower in fear if I unleashed my full demon on them, they live their boring lives for filling pointless aims in their short lifes and they call that living! They are in someways more cruel than a vampire could ever be, they have self control and free will build into the natural from, I lost all that when I died so many years ago and work so hard to be the weak thing that I am now, nothing on this earth could change that or comfort me into believing that im not damned. Yet my family surrounded me, completely content on lying to themselves and have somehow convinced themselves that 1 small human child is the answer to their savour. How selfish could any creature be to condemn any innocent to a life of monsters and lies. Now for the first time ever in my dead life I crave the simple life of a human, a life to love something so pure and diserve their love back and to have a soul. Such a simple thing. Such an impossible simple thing I'l never have.

Sitting in English alone is normally calming but being the first day all minds are buzzing with new excitement and are causing me to be irritable. How could a high school, one building cause me so much pain. Envying humanity is something completely different to living as a human. High school is pointless to my family and I but we need to keep up the charade even more now but Its starting to grate on me. Whilst my mindful rantings seem so old and fussy im trying so hard not to think of the one think my mind is craving, her. That beautiful little girl who's mind is the only one that wont talk to me and her blood is exactly what my monster exists for and resisting it is slowing crucifying me. The guilt that I would willing send this girl away not without great pain in doing so but I don't know whats more selfish Taking her from my family or leaving her where she is. Isabella. The bells rings and saves me from myself, I ran just a little over human speed to my waiting siblings. All their minds filled with that same child. I need to escape before I snap.

Alice insited on driving as she knows me only to well and also had seen me driving off. Her mind full of confusion at my actions, you see Alice see's the path someones one while their on it, if they make a decision or change their mind Alice see their new path but what she can't see is the reason or feelings behind it, but when feelings become part of the equation her other slightly less annoying other half feels what we're feeling and influences it to his will. Of course Jasper was feeling how I am but he keep his concern to his thoughts "Edward, Shes a good thing for all of us, your concern is of course in the right place but we could not physically hurt her" Jasper meant what he though now, but he is the weakest in self control sometimes the monster wins, I felt suddenly calm. That was until Alice thoughts hit me "Edward, why do feel like this towards her? she needs us! How could you take a second family away from her?" A second family away from her! No it would be a second chance to live given back to her! I don't hate Bella god no! She is everything to me her spell caught me first but I care to much for her to let to be hurt possible by us and if not us directly but because of us somehow. I care too much. Dispute Rosalies incorrect ramblings.

Rosalies pov:

Edward always had a way of seeing the bad in even the most purest of things, he'd rather see the worst in his own family than revel in the joy that Bella brings to us! How could he be so selfish?! Even Jasper is making more of an effort and it's so harder for him. How can he look at the brown eyes and feel nothing! He only trys when she comes to him! A 2 year old has to deal with Edwards brooding, now thats cruel! I know you can hear me Edward get over yourself. His very mature reply is a growl. Bella is family, why are you the only one who can't see that?!

Alice pov:

Poor Edward somethings torturing him, my visions are just him leaving or trying to leave. Then I saw him taking Bella. Why? he ran briskly toward as at the car. "Edward, I think it would be better if I drove home today" not that its make much a difference if he wanted to go. Jazz could feel my tension and Edwards unease, he was trying his best to help. More visions fluttered through my mind and they all had the same end, Edward taking Bella. "Edward, why do you feel this way toward her? she needs us! How could you take a second family away from her?" I thought harshly. Bella loves us, all of us she belongs with us! Rose and Edward were stuck in some metal argument which resulted in Edward growling. Emmet non the wiser tried his best not to get involved in what ever metal discussion was taking place. Finally we reached home,"Edward please stay I need to talk to you"I though. Rose shot out, Emmet close behind her, Jazz lingered but he knew I needed no protection against Edward. I drove the car to the garage and turned to see Edward with his face full of pain. Edward and I have a very close relationship, he is in every way my big brother. I hurt when he does and feel I must do something! I can't let him leave or take Bella!

"Edward, it'll be okay please trust us"

"It's not you, or even Jasper. Its me im so scared of hurting her" his voice broke.

"You? why you Im confused"

"Her blood, its so much sweeter than anything I've ever smelt and I.. I don't know if my self control will hold"

"Have you told Carlisle?"

"No, I just can't disappointed him"

"Edward, you wont. Talk to him! We'll all help you, you know that!"

"I have to go"

"If you go, think about have hard it would be to come back and have to go through it all again!" I search the future and he saw I was right.

"I know.." He was almost begging forgivness in his voice.

"Youre her favourite, you know that." Without a doubt Bella loves Edward the most.

He left and shot into the house, poor Edward.

IM LOVING THIS STORY!! EDWARD IN PAIN IS SOOO FUN TO WRITE!! PLEASE REVIEW AND GIVE ME IDEAS!! I'D LOOOOOOVE TO ADD THINGS WHAT PEOPLE WANNA READ!

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