Hey, sorry it have been so long since my last update,,, well... okay I hope you enjoy this chapter,,, I'm already working on the next so I believe it will be up soon.

Tomorrow I'll begin highschool in a new school, wish me luck!

XOXO Paula

Chapter Eight

"Bella, sweetie, are you ok?" Edward said.

I ignored him and watched as Emmett and Jasper took the unlinked parts of Dawn and Ash's bodies outside.

"They are going to burn them, why" I said dumbfounded. My voice sounded chocked, like I was about to cry.

I couldn't understand. They had killed people (ok, vampires) five seconds ago and now they acted as if nothing was wrong.

Esme and Carlisle who hadn't taken any part in the fight were now speaking softly in their rooms.

Carmen and Eleazar were together in their room, each one with a book and with the fireplace on.

Rosalie was sitting in one of the couches near me with a bitter expression that, I, now considered normal on her face and Alice was picking up almost dead red roses from a vase and replacing them for yellow rose blossoms.

"Because that's how you make sure a vampire stays dead."

He hadn't understood what I meant, because I meant: why did you have to kill them? Why do you act so normal after killing them?

I was beining to freak out as more and more question popped up in my mind.

Did this mean they were like that? Cold-blooded vampire who kill for the fun of it?

Like James and Victoria…

"No, why? Why you killed them? What did they do?"

"They were going to kill us, Bells, they were a danger for us all"

"How- How could you possibly know?" my mind wasn't working 100% so it couldn't answer itself with the most obvious answer.

Edward looked at my eyes with intensity for one second and then, he touched his temple.

"With this," he put the hand that was in his temple on my cheek. His touch was like a buterflye's, soft and delicate.

"And of course, Alice"

I nodded, not completely sure I understood. He hugged me close and I closed my eyes.

We stayed like that for hours, until my mind got tired. My body was not stiff or my legs tired, I was just drained of power. I knew it was just a feeling, something my body as a human was used to but it felt so real…

"You are hungry, things like make you hungry, hungry and tired." Edward said.

I looked up at him, "did you just read my mind?" I asked in a small voice.

"No, Bella," he smiled warmly, making me remember why I trusted him, why I loved him and why I was here, why I was myself…

"You sighed and I imagined you were feeling the same as me." He had now his crocked smile, the one I had fallen in love with when I was human.

"I love you." I said and it felt so true, so perfect I smiled up at him and said it again.

He just took my hand and we ran to the always-white forest.

He stopped suddenly and I was stunned for a fraction of a second before realizing we had found two stray mountain lions, one bigger than the other.

I instantly ran for the bigger one and Edward let me, going for the smaller. When I finished with mine, I looked up to see Edward already done and watching me with curious eyes. "What?" I asked defiantly, I knew I was a mess.

"You just looked so sexy drinking from that animal I had to watch you." He said and I could have sworn there was shyness in his voice, as if what he had been doing was wrong and he felt embarrassed.

I had to laugh at his expression; it was just all so weird in him.

A thought came to my mind and I knew my face was so transparent that if I was not fast enugh he was going to see my plans painted all over my face and ruin the surprise.

I jumped to his arms, already spread open (not fast enough), and we both fell to the floor.

I kissed him fast and furious until we were both gasping for air.

It did not stop me from trying to remove his shirt.

"Don't." He said roughly and I stopped dead.

I was on top of him, so I got up with grace uncharacteristically of my human me and characteristic of the new vampire me, and started running home.

He caught up to me a few seconds later (silly me to think I could outrun him).

"I didn't mean to snap at you like that, Bells." He said softly grabbing me by my wrist.

"How were you planning to snap at me, then?" I asked and I knew I was acting cheekily. I tried to free my wrists and it was no use.

"Bella." He said softly and did not talk again until I looked at him.

"I meant I did not want to snap at you and you know it." He said, his voice was filled with pain and it melted my unbeating heart.

"I stopped you because I thought the cold forest wasn't the right place to…"

"You know I don't feel the cold of the snow, neither do you" I interrupted him.

"Bella," His voice was serious so I looked up at him again, having my eyes wonder I hadn't seen him come closer.

"You can't imagine how much I desire you, how much I wish we could do whatever we want every place and every time we want but I don't think it's right and if you try to think about it a little bit, you will realize it too."

Edward kissed me, now softly and slowly, tender like a caress. Though I could feel his desire, just as he had said and it made me feel warm all over.

The next days passed in a blur, I went to school, I did my homework, I got A in everything and Edward became again the sweet vampire I fell in love with.

Weird, hu? That even when everything was perfect, it didn't exactly feel perfect.

If Jasper could feel my uneasiness, he didn't let it slip out, he gave me preoccupied looks from time to time but he must have been really good at hiding his thoughts from Edward 'cause he didn't suspect a thing.

On Monday, the day started cloudy and with some electricity in the air. It was almost palpable; I could feel the metallic taste in my mouth, the heaviness on the air and see the obvious black storm clouds on the gray sky.

"I hate days like this" was the first thing I let slip of my true feelings.

We were in Tanya's car, Edward, Kate, Tanya and me.

Silence fell and the metallic taste in my mouth intensified, as if we were creating physical tension on the air.

'Why, honey?" Edward asked politely and Kate sighed silently.

"'cause this days are cold, pale and it has an everlasting feeling about it, like it will never end."

Some more silence preceded my speech but now it wasn't Edward who spoke first, it was Tanya.

"Like us." She said bitterly, and the bitterness wasn't directed at me, it was almost as if she could understand me. "That's what you meant, right Bella?"

"Kind of." I admitted, "but it's also because this are the only days we can truly mix with people without the fear of being discovered, by an unexpected sun ray or some other thing that might uncover our façade. And it's sad, because on the days we can truly be ourselves and not to worry are the days our skin is the palest and our eyes shone unnaturally gold, our bodies resist the cold and the rain indifferently, and we won't drink a hot chocolate to keep ourselves warm, because we don't need it, we are cold, we are dead. That's why this day is so sad and that's why I hate it so much." I concluded, knowing I had left them all open-mouthed.

"Bells, are you… ok?" it scared me that Edward couldn't find his words, it was so uncharacteristic of him to be tongue-tied that I looked at him in surprise.

His face was full of compassion and I knew that if I could read his mind as well as Kate's and Tanya's I would hear the same thing: "If it's possible to vampires to go mad or have such thing as vampire schizophrenia, Bella definitely has it"

"Don't." I warned him "don't look at me thinking 'poor Bella, she lost her mind' because it's not true, okay? I'm just melancholic because…" I don't know why I felt reclutant to tell him, maybe it was because we had an audience or maybe was because my feelings had been a mess all week or maybe it was just because.

"Today it's your father birthday, right?" he finished for me.

"That's why you had been spacing out all week and walk like a zombie? Bells, you should trust me more…" There was sadness in his voice, and I was filled with remorse when I found out he had known all along but wanted me to trust him, so he had left me think on my own while I thought he didn't care. He showed me he cared and that he cared more than what I deserved…

"I am sorry," I said not being able to say more.

"It's okay Bells, I know you are going off to Forks tonight to visit your father but if you need company, just tell me"

I was going to ask him how he knew all that, when the answer came to my mind. Alice. Of course.