A/N: Well, here is the Fourth chapter. I know i said I'd only upload it when I found a beta-reader, but I just couldn't wait! =) Well, thanks to everybody who reviewed! It helped me a lot (and gave me one hell of a self-esteem-boom!) I hope this chapter is to your liking! Feedback is still very much appreciated, also no flames please. Otherwise, every kind of criticism will be well received! =)
I had been asked by Alice, if I wanted her to be my beta-reader: Alice, if you read this I`d very much appreciate it, so I cannot reach your account for some reason. Just right me a message?
If anybody else would be interested to be my beta, just mail me! Thanks!
Oh, and a HUGE thank you to everybody who put my story on their Favorite Story, Favorite Author or Story-alert list! I'd list the names, but ( and I never thought I'd have reason to say this ) that would be just too much, as the number just reached the hundred mark. I'm stumped! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters of it. That right belongs solely to J. K. Rowling!
Warning: This will be a Severitus story and later on male/male. Also, this Story will mention child abuse.
Note: This story is rated T just to be on the save side. I'll see how the story progresses, maybe I'll have to change it.
Summary: With Ron and Hermione turning away from him after his name came out of the goblet, Draco Malfoy acting weirder than ever and now having to return to his abusive life at Privet Drive, without any chance of help, Harry's only hope is one Severus Snape.
Breaking Free
Chapter Four– Feelings Revealed
It was two o'clock in the morning and Severus couldn't sleep. He'd been up most of the previous day healing Potter and nearly emptying his own potions supply while doing so.
Now he was exhausted but couldn't go to the land of Nod.
He'd tried everything! From training Occlumency, to reciting potion ingredients and even counting sheep! But nothing worked.
Groaning Severus got up and went downstairs into the kitchen, making himself a cup of tea he let his thoughts drift off.
Why was it that when he wanted to stay up nearly the whole night to make potions, or something else worthwhile, he got tired already at 10 o'clock in the evening and now that he would appreciate a healthy portion of rest he was denied his wish.
Severus stirred the spoon absentmindedly in his cup. And again it was the Potter boy who was on his mind, but now he couldn't blame him anymore.
Severus had always compared Potter to his father. Had told him how arrogant and big-headed he had been and had gone out of his way to make Harry Potter's life miserable. And all that just to get revenge on a man who had long since been dead.
For the first time, Severus took the words, the Headmaster had told him on Harry's first day at Hogwarts, when he had complained about the Potter brat, into consideration: "We see what we want to see." How right Albus had been.
By turning Potter's every word and action the way he saw fit, Severus had taken the chance away from him, to ever prove himself worthy Severus' respect.
He should have realized that the boy was only enjoying not having to fear being punished for breaking a rule and Harry had always had a valid reason for his actions, too, now that Severus thought about it unbiased. But Severus had never acknowledge that. He had only taken the remaining anger from his own school days out on the boy.
Severus had always assumed Harry had lived a life similar to his father's, James Potter. Being spoiled rotten and catered to his every wish. So on the first day of school, he had already started to make clear that he would not be one of the admirers of the Potter spawn.
Right now, Severus felt non of the superiority that he had felt, when the boy hadn't been able to answer his questions in his first potions class. And Severus was ashamed to realize that he had become to Harry what James had been to him: His tormentor.
And the boy didn't deserve it anymore than Severus had back then. Sure the boy had never respected him, but Severus realized that it was his own fault.
Harry had no problem respecting Minerva, Albus or even Filius. Apparently he gave his respect to those that returned and deserved it. And Severus had never fit in those categories.
To realize now, that it was possible that Harry had had a similar life to Severus own made his stomach churn.
He had detested his father for ever hurting him and to some degree his mother too, for never helping him. But his mother had still loved him and healed him after one of his father's punishments.
How had Harry's life been like? Could the rumours that had come up in first year, but had been silenced just as fast, be true? He had to find out. He just had to know, to find a way to make it up to Harry.
He loved his godson despite his faults, had known that underneath the mask he wore day in, day out to please his father, he was a nice boy that deserved to be happy.
And now it seemed to pay off, as Draco seemed to change right in front of his eyes. Why couldn't he have given that chance to a boy he hadn't even met before?
Severus buried his face in his hands. He had messed up royally and if he was right and he had been really that wrong about Harry's life and character, he wasn't sure that he would forgive something like that, would it be him in that situation.
He could only hope that the abuse the boy had so obviously suffered wasn't too severe and that he would give Severus a second chance.
Getting up he went upstairs to check on Harry. He peeked inside Potter's room and his eyebrows rose in surprise when he saw Draco standing in the middle of the room, watching Harry.
He was still wearing the pyjamas he had put on before getting into bed.
Draco stood there, not moving a finger, just watching the black haired boy sleeping.
After watching the motionless picture in front of him for a whole minute, Severus decided to go inside and question his godson. But he was interrupted when Draco took a step forward.
Draco sat down on a chair next to the bed, covered his face with his hands and Severus heard him groan in frustration.
However, he looked up immediately to check if Harry was still unconscious or had been woken up by Draco's noise. When he saw that Harry hadn't moved he relaxed again.
Severus saw how Draco's eyes fixed themselves on Harry's face again and the expression on his face seemed so familiar, that it was a surprise how long it took for Severus to recognize it. Adoration … devotion … sorrow … and love?
Shocked Severus' thoughts started running. When had his godson started to develop feelings like that? Since when had Draco even stopped hating Harry? Was this emotion just one-sided or had there been an actual relationship going on between the two boys?
Severus was so surprised and a little bit overwhelmed, that he realized too late that the step he took forward, pushed the door to the room open and revealed him to his godson.
Draco's head snapped to the door and his face went blank when he saw his godfather standing there, but not before Severus could see something akin to panic arise in his features.
Now that he was discovered, he thought he might as well get some answers, so Severus locked eyes with his godson an said, "What are you doing here, Draco?"
Tic, toc, tic, toc. Groaning Draco sat up. This was maddening! It was 1:30 in the morning and Draco hadn't even slept for one single minute! He just couldn't stop worrying over Harry to get calm enough and fall asleep. Whenever he closed his eyes, Harry would appear in his mind, beaten and bloody.
Shivering Draco got up. Of course he was worried and even though he had admitted to himself, that he was in love with him, that did not mean he would suddenly turn into some kind of lovesick Huffelpuff!
He was a Malfoy for Christ sake! Also, that didn't really give him the proud feeling it had when he had been younger.
Leaving his room Draco wanted to go to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water, but stopped when he stood right in front of Harry's room.
Sighing Draco opened the door soundlessly and stepped inside, leaving the door only a little bit open. The quite sound of his feet on the floor accompanied him, while he walked towards the bed Harry was sleeping in without moving.
Looking at he Gryffindor, Draco remembered the day everything had changed for him. The day he had decided to not only go against his father's wishes and not become a death eater, but also when he had realised that he had been wrong about Harry.
XxxFlashbackxxx
Walking down the hallway, Draco took a deep breath. He had just left the Great Hall, where everybody seemed to be excited about yesterday, when Potter had been selected the fourth champion for the Tri-Wizard Tournament.
There were different ideas of how the Golden Boy could have entered his name into the goblet, though one seemed even more unlikely than the other.
Draco shook his head. It was enough that the whole student body of Hogwarts had nothing more important to talk about than Potter, he didn't need to let the guy into his head too.
Looking down Draco saw the letter from his father still clutched in his hand.
He hadn't known what to expect when he had opened the envelope, but as soon as he had read through the letter, he had left the table under the curious eyes of his housemates.
Draco opened the letter and read it again.
Draco,
I have heard interesting news. Apparently the Potter boy got himself into the Tri-Wizard Tournament. It shouldn't really be that much of a surprise that Dumbledore lets him compete, even though he is not 17 yet.
We can only hope that the tournament will end what our Master began and free us of the Potter spawn.
But to better news now. I may not have the complete facts, but it seems like a thought to be long lost follower of my Master has returned and has the means to bring the Dark Lord back at least.
I am telling you this, so you are aware, that what we prepared you for your whole life, is soon to happen. As soon as the Dark Lord has returned, you will receive his mark and he will no longer be only my Master.
Be proud Draco, you will be one of the youngest to enter the Drak Lord's circle of followers.
I am looking forward to seeing you doing well in your studies. Don't disappoint me.
Your father,
Lucius Malfoy
Stopping in the middle of the hallway, Draco just couldn't stop shaking. He'd always prided himself to be the son of Lucius Malfoy, had always known that the Drak Lord would return and that Draco would be expected to take his mark.
It had been what he wanted. Or so he had thought.
Now that it seemed like he would be receiving the mark not so far away in the future, Draco couldn't help but have second thoughts.
No, not just now, it had started when his father had woken him up in the middle of the night, one week before Draco would leave for his fourth year at Hogwarts.
His father had taken him down to the dungeons, where Draco had stopped dead in his tracks when he had spotted the two women on the floor. Bloodied and beaten.
Then and there, his father had started to teach him the art of torture. When Draco had finally been allowed to go back to bed he had cried for the first time in years.
He had realised, that he didn't have what it took to be a death eater.
Draco had tried not to think about it, but now, standing there alone with the letter in his hand, he realised that he didn't even want to have what it took to be a death eater.
Sighing Draco started to walk again, when he heard some noise coming out of the classroom to his right.
Draco stood still and realized that he was hearing voices.
"Why didn't you tell us? You knew how much I wanted to be in the tournament!" said a male voice, which was cut off by a female voice.
"Oh, don't be ridiculous Ron! He broke the rules. No one under 17 was supposed to enter! How could you? Do you always have to do things like that, just to have people looking up to you?"
Draco furrowed his brow. "Are you serious?" another male voice spoke up.
Draco's eyes widened. He knew that voice! Inching forward he linsed around the door.
He had been right! There in the middle of the classroom stood the weasel, the mudblood and Potter.
Suddenly Draco realised what they were talking about. Granger and Weasley were angry with Potter for entering himself into the tournament.
Looking at Potter he seemed to be furious. "I don't believe it! You know how much I hate the attention I get! I didn't enter my name! Why don't you get that?"
Weasley's head was red from anger. "I'm your best friend and you lie to me? I could have maybe forgiven you for entering without me, but this? That's the worst!"
Granger nodded. "I may have broken some rules in the past for you and your adventures, but this is the last straw! You are fourteen! I don't know why Professor Dumbledoor is letting this slide. You should be expelled for this! We're over being friends!"
With that the bushy-haired girl turned around and stalked to the door, the red-head right behind her after he through Potter another glare.
Draco hastened away from the door and hid behind a corner, while watching the weasel and mudblood leave.
He just wanted to go back to looking inside of the classroom when Potter came out. He stood in the middle of the hallway and to Draco he seemed to be quite lost.
Draco could only imagine how he must be feeling right now. Being betrayed by your two best friends? That had to be horrible, not to mention how the rest of the students would react. Nobody would most likely believe it when Potter said that he hadn't entered his name into the goblet.
Draco's eyes widened. When had he decided that he believed Potter when he said that he hadn't entered his name?
Standing there and watching the boy-who-lived, Draco acknowledged that he actually thought Potter hadn't done it.
He didn't know what was happening. He had always had this image of Potter in his head. He had imagined him to be arrogant, self-confident and spoiled and he'd never had any reason to reconsider this image, but now looking at the other boy, he didn't look anything like the one he imagined him to be.
Suddenly Potter crouched down and picked something up from the floor. When Draco realized what it was, he sucked in a shocked breath, which turned Potter's attention to him, as he turned around quickly and spotted Draco.
Their eyes met and they stared at each other for nearly a whole minute.
When they finally looked away from each other Potter cleared his throat. "Yours?" He held up the envelope and Draco nodded hesitantly. What would happen when Potter read it? His father would kill him if anybody saw the insides of the letter.
But then Potter layed the letter down on the floor, nodded once towards him and walked away.
Draco stared after him even ten minutes later, not believing what had just happened.
Potter hadn't even considered reading it. Picking it up, Draco made a decision. He didn't want to be a death eater. He even admitted to himself that he was scared of what his own father would do to him once he found out, but that was only one more factor not to join the Dark Lord.
He didn't want to become cold, heartless and cruel. He'd always only wanted to make his father proud.
That stopped now. He'd become his own person and while doing that, he would keep an eye on Potter. He'd construct a new image of the boy-who-lived. And this time he'd make sure it represented the truth.
xxxEnd Flashbackxxx
Draco took a step forward and set down on a chair next to the bed.
What did it matter that he was different now than he had been back then? Harry would never see anything more in him as a slimy Slytherin.
Draco put his face in his hands and groaned frustrated. He immediately looked up. What if he had woken him? What would Harry think of Draco being in his room in the middle of the night?
But Harry was still asleep, still lying there in the huge bed, not moving one inch.
Draco watched the boy and again he felt this feelings rising inside of him, but Draco realised now that he couldn't change that. And he didn't want to either.
He loved Harry and would do anything for him. In Draco's eyes Harry was the epitome of pureness. And Draco would never have Harry for himself. God, he really had turned into a bloody Huffelpuff!
He had just wanted to get up go back to his own room, when the door to harry's opened.
Draco's head snapped to the door and when he saw his godfather standing there, panic arose in him.
What would he think? He couldn't find out! Draco realised that his feelings were probably readable on his face and put a blank expression on.
Severus took a step inside and when the next words left his mouth, Draco wished he had been able to fall asleep earlier and hadn't entered this room.
Severus looked at him wth curiosity and suspicion in his eyes. "What are you doing here, Draco?"
A/N: So wht do you say to this ending? I know it is kinda mean. I'll try to upload the next chapter as fast as possible! Also, I hope as soon as Harry wakes up I'll have more dialogues. Thanks to everybody who reviews!